Don’t Carelessly Love

            I hear people everyday throw around the word “love” so easily. They love this person for said action and that person for said gift. Everyone loves others so easily. You have no idea how strong that word and emotion, “love”, is. It can bring someone sky high, flying above the clouds. And it can break someone down into tiny bits and pieces that can barely be pulled back together.

            Even you throw around the emotion so casually, confessing that you love me despite barely knowing me. The moment you said it, I knew it couldn’t be true. Your understanding of love is too basic and unreal. Before you say that you love me, please find out how it truly feels to fall in love. At least have a better perception of what love is really like.

            And each time I reject you, please don’t give me that kind of stare. It’s the kind that makes me cringe in guilt, when it’s not my fault. You can’t force me into saying yes to your advances. You should understand by now why I don’t simply say that I’ll give you a chance. As well as not reciprocating those emotions, I don’t think I can stand your naïve nature. You could never understand what pain love can bring unless you experience it. You clearly have not. And I don’t think I should be your first love, for I’d bring you bad memories to a time that you should enjoy. A first love only happens once, after all.

             Maybe you think I’m afraid to love again, and therefore, you try to convince me there’s nothing wrong with feeling such strong affection towards one another.

            No, I’m not afraid to love again. In fact, that’s not it at all. It’s that I come with too much pain. I come with too much of a burden, and unless you love me with all of these problems, you don’t truly love me. Not reciprocating your love has nothing to do with a fear to love another. It might even be in your best interest for me to reject you.

            You don’t know me well enough. You don’t know of all my faults. So, don’t carelessly talk about love that easily.

            Do you not understand well enough? I should put it in a different way.

            Imagine a rose, with its pale petals, layer after layer, and a long green stem shooting out to support the blossom, sharp thorns surrounding it. The stem supplies the flower with nutrients to keep it alive, and thorns encircle it as a form of protection.

            Now, think of a human being. The outer appearance of a human is like the petals of a flower. A human’s heart is like the stem, helping to keep it alive. And the pains of a person are his or her thorns. Depending on the burden each person carries, that is how sharp his or her thorns are.

            If you come too close to me, if you want to have my heart, you have to let the thorns sink into yourself. If what you want is to love me and have me love you in return, then you have to take all these pains, too. My thorns are rather sharp, you see. Do you think you’re willing to accept all of these problems?

            And when you think you’re able to accomplish this, only then can you possibly have a chance of requited love.

            Otherwise, you might as well try to find someone else, who’s thorns are far duller than mine. Because if you aren’t strong enough, you’ll get wounded by these thorns of mine.

            So think carefully whether or not you are willing to learn more about the heavy load on my shoulders, the very problems that constantly sharpen my thorns. Wonder if you are willing to accept me with all of these thorns. Do you really wish to love a person who’s so riddled with problems? Are you willing to feel pain as well, along with the affection? Or will you leave me and try to find a person who is easier to love?

            Will it be okay with you to have thorns sinking into you? Or would you rather have dull spikes just gently brushing by you every once in a while?

            Think very carefully.

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~DespisedSecret