Caught

Description

 

“I hope you did, hyung. I just really hope you did.”

Foreword

Hello! I am back from the unwanted realms of life. I am so sorry for not updating my chaptered ones and I do plan on getting back at them soon, so please bear with me. For the mean time, I offer you this story which I wrote as I wait to be called for my turn in the clinic.

I would also like to acknowledge the influence of Tinywings in this. And then the universe somewhat coincided with it all. This issue kept on popping up everywhere that I got so much feels and ended up writing something about it.

 

Enough of that, so I do hope you enjoy reading this short story! :)

 

-P.

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gheiluxy #1
Chapter 1: that broke my heart..
haeoppar #2
Chapter 1: How about making this chaptered instead??? Omfg. Asdfghjkl can not hamdle all the hurt aaaaaaaaa kailu ;_______;
Tinywings #3
Chapter 1: And I'm forever honored to have influenced you ito writing this whuahahaha :p

Back to the story~ Bittersweet sadness for Jongin, wishing for at least a moment where Luhan had loved him. As you said, this was quite short and written in the spur of the moment, so I'm not going to comment on the shortness or anything of it. Your writing style has, in my opinion, improved somehow :) Small errors sometimes but nevertheless clear and to the point. I could follow the story effortlessly, so that's always a plus. Grinning like a fool here because of the story plot, because I know whuahaha. But I wouldn't be me without my 'constructive feedback', so here we go. First of all, I always find it a little too prejudical to put all the blame on the person 'who's caught cheating'. Like in this, it's put onto Luhan. Of course, it's a short piece, but it should be something to remember. You could have added a little more about what exactly Jongin was going through when he found out about it. the irrationality of blinding fury that causes him to say things he doesn't mean and hurt like being hit by thousands bullets. that would have made his behavior more satisfied. now, he doesn't even give luhan a chance but it's so 'out of the blue' that i almost couldn't help but feel sorry for luhan. of course, this is about cheating so it's sensitive, and it's a short thing you wrote, but just to tell you :). Also, your writing style is open to improvement, and can gets better with practice :) not to say your writing is bad, but that it can still be improved for the better and more brilliant :)

but, good piece!
mshmlo #4
Chapter 1: AND YOU TELL ME YOU'RE NOTHING COMPARED TO ME. ING SHUT UP.

OH MY OH MY~~ I WANT TO CRY~ MY BELOVED OTPS KAILU & LAYHAN HUHUHU BUT WHY DOES KAILU HAVE TO BE BROKEN //le creys

This. Just. I cannot. It got me kilig and at the same time emotional because my precious otp is broken. I screamed, btw. Just so you know. Too much feels. Hahaha.

See you tomorrow, hyung! :)
mykpopaddiction #5
Chapter 1: My Lukai feels *grasps my chest where my kokoro is* I can't anymore
xiiihanna #6
Chapter 1: sequel!! sequel!! sequel!!
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