Himchan laughs as another attempt to kiss Junhong fails. The latter only recoils and whines in the most cutest way that urges Himchan to try to kiss him again; but he holds back the needy urge. Himchan only smiles and pulls out his silver camera from within a little pink bag that was settling beside his chair on the ground. He begins snapping several dozen pictures of Junhong, and at first, Junhong doesn't pay too much thought to the camera, before he gets into the mood and starts posing for the flashing lights. Himchan will later hook up his digital camera to his laptop once they—all of B.A.P—were home and sync the photos into his PC. He's sure he's taken over fifty pictures of the teenager—most of them being him with Junhong, making adorable faces at the camera. Then, before the two even notice, the fansign's over. All six of the boys stand up from their places and bow at all of the fans, thanking them for joining them on that lovely chilly evening.

As they're dismissed, heading back to the van, Himchan closely follows behind the tall maknae, smiling sheepishly as he looks through each picture in his camera. Although, his smile soon falters when he looks up and catches Junhong quickly scurrying over to Daehyun's side. The vocalist's arm slips around the maknae's waistline and Junhong is automatically pulled closer, slinging his own arm around the older boy's neck. They laugh. And Himchan wonders what about. He wishes it was him and the maknae walking side-by-side like that instead of the teen and the main vocalist. Himchan admits. He's jealous. All he can do is want. Only want.

Is it so bad to want, though?

The visual ponders over his own mental question, trying to seek for an answer as he climbs into the van and sits all the way in the backseat with the YoungUp couple while DaeLo and Yongguk sit in the seats in front of them. And Junhong is sitting between the two older boys. It's bad enough because this meant more 'cutesy' time for DaeLo.

Himchan never feels jealous over BangLo because, in his perspective, BangLo had a father/son relationship, so it was okay for them to be all touchy touchy with each other (which was hardly ever). But DaeLo... Daehyun has a horrible obsession with Junhong. It's pretty obvious even though he's never admitted to being obsessed. But that's probably because he's too ashamed to admit it and he thinks he doesn't have an obsession towards the maknae? Himchan believes so.

But, seriously. Himchan wants to tell Daehyun to back off, to stay away from his maknae, but instead, he holds his tongue back.

Is it really so bad to want, though?

Yes, the visual agrees with himself. It's okay to want a little, but not too much. If he allows himself to want a lot more than he's already being given, then the horrible, needy desire of being by the underage teen's side all the time can only become worse. He can accidentally do something that'll hurt Junhong and he'll end up hating Himchan. Himchan literally cannot risk having the maknae hate him. No. Not at all.

The thought of it is seriously mortifying, and Himchan cringes. For now he can just want. A little.

                                                                                                *   *   *

At the dorm, Himchan gazes at the ceiling in his room, laying on his bed there deep in thought... and in pain. He could hear the adorable laughs and giggles emerging from Junhong from the room next door, which—of course—was DaeLo's room.

"They're suddenly so close," Himchan whispers to himself. Unluckily, the whisper echoes in the empty room but he presumes speaking either way. "How can this be?"

As rhetorical as that sounds, Himchan really wanted an answer. He really wants to know why DaeLo is suddenly so close.

Have they finally found a common interest in each other? Like, a similar hobby they can both do together?

Probably.

Does Junhong like Daehyun... like that? Or does Daehyun like Junhong in that way?

No. Just no.

Could they possibly be in a secret relationship?

Hell no, he thinks. No. Junhong can't be dating anyone in B.A.P. Not even Himchan himself no matter how badly he would like that. It would be wrong. Sinful. Disgusting.

Junhong is straight. He likes girls. The sub-vocalist is sure that the maknae is only into women. Himchan was probably the only member in B.A.P that was strictly gay. Albeit, YoungUp seems pretty real. Could they also be into each other? If so, then they'd understand Himchan, and Himchan could spill to them his strong feelings for Junhong and receive advice in return!

No.

That would be a terrible idea.

Himchan decides to remain silent for now.

But he continues to wonder about DaeLo and how they are so close. Could it be that someone finally understands Junhong? And by 'someone', he means Daehyun?

No. It can't be that. Himchan fully understands Junhong. He really does. And he hopes that the teen trusts him, too.

He sighs, and then he hears a soft sound of feet being dragged against the carpeted floor nearing him. He shifts a little to sit up and his cheeks flush at the sight of a messy-haired, ragged-clothed Junhong.

"Junhong-ah, what happened to you?" the visual asks with worry laced in his voice.

"Me and Dae hyung were play fighting," the maknae responds solemnly before he crawls into the visual's bed and snuggles up beside him.

"Hey, what are you—"

"I'm sleeping here tonight. Goodnight, hyung~"

And just with that, Himchan doesn't argue or bother to ask why the maknae wants to sleep with him for the night instead of in his room with Daehyun. He only smiles and lays back down (but on his side), wrapping an arm over Junhong's waist and cuddling closer to him. Their faces are only an inch apart, and the elder is positively sure that no one has a single idea about how badly he wants to kiss the maknae right now. Instead, he tips his head up and leans in to press a soft kiss to the younger boy's forehead. He looks back down, waiting to see a reaction, but there's nothing. No smile or laugh. No frown or whine. Just Junhong with a sleeping face. Until the corners of his mouth tilt upwards into a small smile.

And the visual relaxes, scooting away a little to get a better view of Junhong's face as he lays his head back down on the pillow. He smiles to himself and closes his eyes right before whispering, "Goodnight, Jello-ah~"

Nothing makes sense right now, Junhong-ah. But I do love you. I really do. And I wish I could let you know my true feelings.

---

SO, HEY, GUISE. This is the first chapter. ㅠㅠ I hope you like it~! Criticism is allowed, as long as you guys aren't so mean. ; - ;

BUT YEEEEEEEEEE' SON. Thank you for subscribing! ♥ lol ok bye.