It's honestly "hilarious" how "supportive" my family is of each other. When I was little, I was taught that your family will always be there with and for you, and that they will be the most trustworthy of people that you will ever recieve from the one above. I was taught that they will never judge your beliefs and will support you to the very end with whole hearts. When I was little, they were supposed to be the ones who will always welcome you no matter what mistake you make...

Little did I know back then that what they taught me was nothing but a lie.

The people who share my blood were nothing more than a prideful group of monsters who would feed off each others' troubles and misfortunes. They couldn't share one's happiness sincerely or support each others' children. If one in our family was different or made a mistake, they were shunned by the rest and gossip will poison them until they correct themselves to be what others find "normal". If one did better than the rest and received truly earned compliments, the rest would pat his back and wear a strained smile, only to whisper crude insults and plan a way to humiliate or put down the achiever. In my family, there was no trust or acceptance. There was just...profanity and pride that can't even be put aside for the family. How do I know all this?

Because I experienced this terribly honest side of my family. I knew from long ago that I was the forgotten child; I was merely the child who was never bothered or cared about. I was never one of the children who were bragged about from our prideful adults. I was the trouble maker, the ugly one, the irresponsible one, the stupid one, the dirty one, the impolite one, the leftover one...They were endless. Whenever I told my problems to my friends or to teachers, it was always the same.

You're over exaggerating.

I doubt they said all that.

I'm sure that they do love you for you.

Your family would never judge you like that.

Maybe it really is your fault.

But no, it wasn't necessarily my fault and no, I was not exaggerating. All my aunts and uncles, grandparents, and even my own parents spat those words in my face with no hesitation. They looked down on me because of how I dressed and how I thought; they gave me dirty looks when remembering that I wasn't exactly "normal" in their standards. They all thought I was... merely not worthy to become blood-related. To them, I was not part of their family, but merely a stupid child who they took in out of their "kindness".

Of course, a person who never had to experience judgment from those who are supposed to be close to them would think that I could've just tried to change all of what they hate and they would accept me; if I changed my beliefs and morals, then they would actually stand beside me proudly say that I was related to them and that I am an honorable child of the family. Of course one who wouldn't understand would say that.

That never works.

I am my own person who really isn't doing any harm. So what if I liked men as well as women? So what if I made a couple of mistakes in the past? So what if I can't get that good of a score unlike a few other children that I could care less about? Does me being myself do any harm to them? And even if I did try to change for them, will that really make a difference? They are like a hungry pack of wolves who manage to tear through every bit of a person and pick out all of their flaws, hidden and transparent. They could've easily found a "perfect" person's flaws in an instant by creating new ones to "eat" out of. They will always find something to pick on and ruin you... and they won't stop... they just won't stop.

I used to sing songs of happiness to my family to make them smile and continue on through the day, but then I found the courage and will to sing disappearing. I used to make jokes and ruffle my cousin's hair messily until it was a complete bird's nest, but my inner child went away and I could only look at my cousins in fear of being made fun of. I used to bow down in respect to my elders, giving a whole hearted smile to brighten them up; that all went away and I was nothing but a shadow that could never be acknowledged without a judging whisper. The happy-go-lucky me was disappearing and, instead, I could only hold back tears as I hear my family's cold ice words and uninviting eyes.

I wish I could have someone; someone who would never judge me for what I believe in personally and would listen to my problems with an actual sense to help. I was I could cry on someone's shoulder without fear of the other laughing at how pathetic I looked. I wish I could share a meal with someone without having faces of disgust at me. I wish...

that me, Kim SungGyu, was not alone anymore. I wish that I, Kim SungGyu, wouldn't have to cry alone anymore.

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HAI GUYS! Small little prolouge just to warm you guys up :D I don't think it was a very good prolouge though. There were a bit few little twerks there that I would LOVE to change. However, I'm kind of lazy and I'm not so sure how I should change them, so this will have to do.

So how do you guys like it? Good? Bad? Alright? Let me know! Comments are what keep a writer actually going~

And, by the way, who came up with a good title for this story? ...Anyone?

Well thanks for taking the time to read. Until I update again!