It Takes Two to Tango

The Marriage Life of Mr. Byun
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“You have got to be ting me,” you said, jaw dropping slightly. “Byun freaking Baekhyun, don’t tell me you’re taking this class too.” You knew the answer was yes, because all freshmen had to take basic English class no matter what major they were in but to think that you two would end up in the same class? Unbelievable.


The said boy, who was just about to enter the classroom with a grumpy pout on his face, looked to the side to see you staring at him with your English books trapped between your arms. “Oh goddamn it, not you again...” He muttered to himself, almost looking like he wanted to do a facepalm right then. “Out of all these ing classes.” Then he just pretended that he didn’t see you and entered the class with his shoulders slumped and an upset scowl on his forehead.


You followed his trail, feeling a little giddy that you got to be in the same English class with him, and then mentally slapped yourself, because no, you were not supposed to be happy. But then you noticed the class was already filled with students because you came on the last minute. There were only two seats left at the back, and Baekhyun sat in one of them. You groaned, realizing that Baekhyun would about how you sit next to him in his class but you just didn’t have much choice.


So you went there and sat beside him.


Trying to be nice, you greeted him with a small “Hi” only to be replied by “Don’t talk to me. Ever.”


That ruined your whole mood. “Jerk,” you blurted back, kicking one of his chair’s legs, but Baekhyun kept on ignoring you.


“Good morning, students!” The teacher, who had just come in with a blinding smile, greeted in English. “I’m Mrs. Choi. I’ll be your English teacher for this semester.”


Unlike most of the students, you weren’t having any problem with this language. You could speak English just as well as you could speak Korean, so this class would be a piece of cake for you.


You glanced to the side, and saw Baekhyun folding his arms on top of his table and laid his head on it. He closed his eyes, not giving a damn about the world and proceeded to his dreamland.


“You, the one who’s sleeping at the back,” Mrs. Choi called in English, obviously referring to Baekhyun. The said boy didn’t even stir—did he not understand what she was saying? He wasn't already asleep yet, was he?


You kicked his chair again, couple of times, until he snapped and yelled, “WHAT?!”


The whole class fell into an awkward silence. You spoke to him with your eyes instead with words, telling him to look at the teacher by a nod of your head.


Baekhyun, still glaring, turned around his attention toward Mrs. Choi, and he finally realized that the whole class was staring at him. “Uum, were you talking to me?” Baekhyun hesitantly asked in Korean, and Mrs. Choi shook her head impatiently.


“Speak English, my boy,” she retorted, still in her foreign language.


Baekhyun seemed to understand that line but couldn’t really create a proper answer, so he stuttered, “O-oh... umm... I...”


Mrs. Choi cut him off. “How brave of you sleeping in one of my lectures like that. Did you find my class boring, Mr. Byun?”


Baekhyun froze, looking around the class, probably searching for some help.


You sighed, and said in Korean, “Just answer, ‘no’, Baek.”


Baekhyun immediately answered in English, just like what you told him. “No.”


“No?” Mrs. Choi asked. “Then please, do tell. Why were you sleeping in my class?”


Baekhyun threw a meaningful glance at you, begging for another help. So, you gave him a simple answer and taught him what to say word by word.


“I... didn’t... get... much... sleep... last... night.” Baekhyun imitated what you told him. “I’m... sorry.”


“Promise you won’t do it again?” Mrs. Choi asked again.


“Just nod your head,” you whispered to him. Baekhyun did.


“Good.” Mrs. Choi smiled, though her eyes were still cold. “As long as you understand, it’s okay.” When she opened her English book to start the lecture, she spoke to Baekhyun in Korean. “And the next time you’re speaking to me, Mr. Byun, I’m hoping you will say what your mind tells you to do, and not simply repeating what your cute little girlfriend here says to you. Do you understand me?”


Baekhyun sat still for a second too long, a bit stricken over her words, before he nodded. “Y-yes, Ma'am.”


Mrs. Choi smiled knowingly and decided to leave him alone. When she went back to her lecture, you cleared your throat and whispered to Baekhyun. “You’re welcome.”


“Shut up,” Baekhyun said, not looking anywhere other than a page in one of his English textbooks.


You blatantly grinned at him. “I saved your , you know.”


He was back to ignoring you, but you kept on putting your smug smile on your face, because: “You owe me one, Byun Baekhyun.”




After the too-early-in-the-morning English class, you went back to the dorm, wanting to go and lie down in your room for a couple of hours until your next class started. You were just about to open your door when you noticed your friend, who lived right across the hall, came out from her room.


“Hey—” You stopped yourself when you saw that she wasn’t alone. Park Chanyeol was there, smiling and hugging her petite waist from behind and peppering little kisses down the side of her neck. She giggled and turned around to kiss him properly on the lips and you tried not to gag on their public display of affections.


“I’ll see you later after class, okay?” Chanyeol said, kissing her between every word he said.


She nodded and kissed him one last time. “Bye, Yeollie.”


“Go back to sleep, Princess, it’s still early.” Chanyeol placed a peck on her temple before he went his way, all grin and happy bounce on his steps.


Yah!” You called, startling her. “’Yeollie’? 'Princess'?! What the hell was that?”


“Huh?” She asked, looking at you with unfocused eyes. Now that Chanyeol was gone, she started to look less dazed and more... well, her. “Oh, hi. I didn't see you there.”


“Of course you didn't see me. You were too busy exchanging gross kisses with that guy!"


"W-well, I..." She stammered, taking a step back. "I was just..."


"What were you doing with Park Chanyeol?” You said, crossing the hallway to stand closer to her. “Are you two going out?”


“W-well....” Your friend nervously stuttered and suddenly tried to cover her neck with her hair. “We, uhh...”


“Hold up—” You slapped her hands away and looked at the skin of her neck. It was covered with so many tiny, purple bruises all the way done to her collarbones. “Holy —are those hickeys?”


“Stop it,” she said, backing away from you and tried to hide her neck with her hair again.


“You !” You loudly stated, though of course you didn't mean it. “You hooked up with that guy after one night?!”


“It wasn’t like that—he... We had a date and he... Well, he was special, alright?”


“Special as in what? Selling cracks?”


“No! Of course not, he’s—” Then she groaned, clearly frustrated. “Look, I haven’t seen you in two days. How are you?”


You realized she was just trying to change the topic, but you decided to just go along with her. You were already hurt enough from the fact that your best friend just lost her ity to some guy and she didn’t tell you about it. “I’m fine,” you answered weakly.


“No, you’re not,” she commented, “You look miserable.”


“Okay, well, I am miserable!” You finally snapped, throwing your hands in the air. “My boyfriend just ditched me to ing Canada, and when I wanted to get over it by sleeping with some guy, I threw up on him, and now I just found out that my best friend is no longer a not because she told me but because I caught her in the act."


"We didn't—”


"And oh, just FYI, that guy I threw up on? His name’s Byun Baekhyun, and he drives me crazy every single time I see him. He’s disgusting. He wears too much eyeliner—like, what is he trying to prove? Being a goth? An emo kid? God! He’s such a selfish —”


“Might want to scream it louder. I think people in China still couldn’t hear you.”


You turned around to the familiar voice, only to notice that the Byun Baekhyun was standing right behind you. His eyes cold and his gaze never faltered away when you stared back at him. He looked like he was sending you a threat with his eyes, but then he altered them to your friend’s and his cold gaze immediately softened.


“Hello, I’m Byun Baekhyun. The selfish . I believe we’ve met?” Baekhyun threw a genuine smile at her, and shook her hand lightly. She nodded her head in response and told him her name as well. “Oh right, you were the girl I was supposed to kiss before Chanyeol ambushed me. I’m guessing things are good with him?”


She nodded again, shyly this time.


“Well, I wouldn’t want to bother your heart-to-heart session with this little cutie-pie over here,” he stopped to smile at you but his eyes were just as dark as the storm. “So I’ll take my leave now. Keep Yeol happy for me, okay? I wish you two the best.”


“He’s quite nice, if you ask me,” your friend commented when Baekhyun was out of sight.


“I beg your pardon?” You knitted your eyebrows together, puffing your cheeks. “He’s the spawn of Satan, that’s what he is! He is anything but nice!”


She smiled knowingly. “I don’t know, I think you like him.”


“Wha—?” You gaped, slapping the air with your hands. “How can you even—? Why would I like—?”


“Honey, you’re rambling.”


“Oh Jesus, Chanyeol screwed with your brain so hard, didn’t he?” You snorted when you saw her blushed. “Look, maybe at some point I do find him cute, but really, I hate him. Do you know what he said when I kissed him—”


She gasped. “You kissed him?”


“It’s a long story.” You waved her off. “The point is, he said that he had to go to a doctor because he might be infected. The funny thing from that joke is the part where he’s not joking.”




“Yeah, ouch.” You nodded, making a face. “And do you know how annoying he is when he his lips every time he talks? Like, what, is he trying to be y? Because believe me, that’s seriously out of the box. And also, I hate his teeth. He looks like a freaking vampire with that set of fangs he has."


"I thought you had a for vampires—”


"And I can’t stand his black boots and his stupid leather jacket! And also, he doesn’t close his mouth when he yawns and...” You stopped yourself when you noticed your friend was grinning at you. “Why are you looking at me like that?”


“What? Oh, nothing,” she said back, smiling with a twinkle in her eyes. “This is just how I look when I’m listening to my friend talking about her crush.”


“WHAT—” You shouted, almost had your eyes popping out of your brain. “OUT OF ALL THE THINGS I SAID TO YOU—”


Then your phone rang, cutting you off and making you jump from the sudden vibration.


“If that’s Baekhyun,” your friend said, “I’m going to say that it’s a sign you guys are meant to be.”


“Oh, shut up,” you spat back, poking her on the stomach before answering your phone. “Hello?”


“Yo, my sister from another mother, how are you doing, my honeydew?” Luhan shouted from the other line with so much energy, you had to put your cell phone a few centimeters away from your ear.


“It’s Lu Han,” you mouthed quietly to your friend, and she pouted, clearly weren’t satisfied with it. “Yah, Oppa, don’t shout at me like that. What do you want?”


“Other than with the algebra girl? Nothing,” Lu Han answered and you rolled your eyes. “But there’s someone who wants to talk to you and he thinks he’s too cool to call you by himself—” There were some rustling sounds and you could hear Lu Han shouting at the background, “Yah, Baekhyun-ah! If you hit me one more time, I'll—” Suddenly the Chinese man’s voice was gone only to be replaced with someone who sounded too familiar to your ears.


“Come see me at the library. This evening. 4 o’clock,” Baekhyun said, voice flat and cold. You felt your heart skip a beat at the sound of his voice, but you decided not to indulge yourself further in it.


But maybe your face betrayed you, because your friend was grinning so, so happily at you with a knowing look.


You glared back at her before you cleared your throat and tried to sound vicious. “Who do you think you are, bossing me around like that? And why would I do as you say?”


There was no answer from the other line for a good couple of seconds until Baekhyun said, “Your loss.” Then he hung up.


“What the—” You stared incredulously at your cell. “!”


“Baekhyun?” Your friend asked, raising an eyebrow teasingly.


She opened to speak the words you clearly didn’t want to hear, so you cut her off by saying, “Don't even try, Sister. Just shut up and  go put a powder on those hickeys or something. You look like a third-class hooker.”


She pouted. “You’re mean.”


“You’re trying to hook me up with Baekhyun, so let me ask you, who’s meaner?”


She scoffed. “Well, at least I’m not trying to deny my own feelings.”




“So you came,” Baekhyun said when you approached his table on the corner side of the library. He had his legs on the table, acting like he didn’t give a penny about what other people think about him. You could see how one side of his lips rising to create a clear smirk when he noticed you, and you really, really wanted to smack it away from his face although some parts of you really, really thought that he was looking so goddamn delicious with that smirk.


“Oh, wipe off that smirk from your face, Baek, I’m not here because of you,” you said harshly.


He only smirked wider. “Oh really?”


“Yeah, really.”


“So what brought you here then?”


“I had to return a book.”


“Oh? I don’t see you carrying one right now.”


“Well, I’ve returned it.”


“Of course, of course.” Baekhyun nodded, with his smirk still on. “Just a quick trivia here for you, Sweetheart. This spot right here—” He made a dramatic gesture of his surroundings, “—is the best corner of the library. Wanna know why? Because I can see everything that’s happening in this room just by sitting here. And come, let me tell you a secret.” He dropped his legs off the table and leaned in to whisper to you, taking a hold of your hand so you couldn’t back away. “Next time you want to lie, come up with a better one.”


“Get away from me!” You pushed him back to his seat, blushing and shaking from being too nervous because damn, he was so close and damn, you just humiliated yourself in front of him. Again. “Just tell me what you want, Baek.”


“Ooh, feisty,” he cooed, and you felt like you had a deja vu. “I’m here to pay you back.”


You raised your right eyebrow, acting nonchalant. “Pay me back for what?”


He narrowed his eyes at you, suddenly looking cold and unreachable. “You know what.”


“No, I don’t.” Yes, you did, but you decided to back for what he did to you earlier. “Pay me back for what?”


“Oh, so that’s how it is? You want the satisfaction? Fine.” He gritted his teeth together like a threatened baby lion. “For helping me in English class. I don’t want to have to owe you for that.”


“Aww, how sweet.” You sang. “And I can just ask for everything?”


He didn’t answer, but if looks could kill, then it’s safe to say that you’d be dead at that moment. “Make it quick.”


“Then go jump off the window,” you said, smiling.


Baekhyun rolled his eyes. “Really? That’s the best you can come up with?”


“Oh, I can do better.” You said, sitting on the table right beside his legs. Thank God, the library was quite empty so you could converse with him without having someone complaining to you about being too noisy. “Make out with a guy, and I’ll call it even.”


Baekhyun actually laughed, but there was no humor in it. “You’ve got to be joking.”


“Actually, no,” you said, “I’m being serious. Too serious, even.”


Baekhyun stopped moving and his smirk was completely drained out from his face. “You serious?”




“I have to kiss a dude."


“Oh no, honey.” You laughed once. “I said ‘make-out’. I know you’d try to find a loophole and go peck some dude and call it a kiss. No, that won’t do. I want a full blown, tongue-involved, lip-bruising, teeth-clashing, make-out session. Do it for ten seconds and I’ll call it even.”


Baekhyun jaw dropped at some point and he was starting to get furious—you could see how his cheeks were slightly turning red and he flared his nose. “I swear to God, you’re gonna pay for this someday, you manipulative, sanctimonious —”


“Oh, I’m scared!” You raised your hands, trying to act like you’re horrified. “Be a man and keep your words, you coward.”


Baekhyun sent ice daggers with his eyes before he moved his feet back to the ground and walked away.


“Hey, where are you going?” You asked, only to be answered by a dead silence. "Wimp."




“Lu Han-Oppa, can you please just—”


“Do you know what she said to me?”


“No, I don’t and I don’t care—”


“She said ‘I know guys like you, sleeping around with girls, thinking that they’re so cool, they can have everything in the world’—”


“Oppa, I’m hanging up the phone—”


“And then she was like, ‘Do you even know the first thing about algebra?’”


“Look, I really need to start working on my—”


“And I was like, ‘yeah of course, it’s about math’.”




“And she was like, ‘just go away, you’re embarrassing yourself. Do you have no shame?’—”


Yah, oppa!”


“And I was like, ‘The only shame I feel is not having you in my life’—”


“LUHAN, SHUT UP!” You screamed so loudly to the phone, you think you just woke up some people across the hall. The clock indicated that it was just a minute passed midnight and you were so tired of what you had been through that day. You also had to finish your first homework for dance contemporary program you were attending. You were supposed to compose your own music and find your own choreography to go along with it. You had the tunes and the choreography playing in your head, the problem was you didn't know how to translate it down to a couple of music sheets. You always had a trouble in writing musical notes on the first place.


You were frustrated and you called Lu Han for some help—maybe he knew someone who could help you.  But the second he answered your phone, you were forced to listen to him about how amazing this mysterious ‘Algebra Girl’ was and how she bluntly denied Lu Han when he asked her on a date. Today was not your day.


Yah, that was rude!” Lu Han complained. “Don’t interrupt someone when they’re talking. Didn’t your mother ever tell you that?”


“No.” You exhaled heavily. “My mother died when I was too little to understand things. You were holding her picture with me that day on her funeral, remember?” You didn’t want to bring this story up but it was the only way to shut him off. You felt awful for doing so but you were getting a bit desperate.


“S-sorry. I didn’t mean to, uhh…. Sorry.” You could hear his apologetic voice over the phone.


Well, it wasn’t like it still overly saddened you anymore. After all, the incident happened a long time ago, when you just turned five. You sighed and said, “It’s okay. But please, could you talk about that some other time? I have to finish my homework and you’re not helping—”


There was a sudden knock on your door. “Seriously? At this kind of hour?” You groaned to yourself before answering back to Lu Han. “I have to hang up, oppa. Somebody’s at my door.”


Lu Han gasped dramatically. “Whoa, dongsaeng, you’ve grown up, indeed! Who’s the y night visitor—” You clicked ‘end call’.


“Coming!” You yelled when the knocking went harder. You were grumbling all the way to the door and when you finally opened it, you saw Baekhyun and—Chanyeol?—standing in front of you.


Baekhyun was wearing black trousers and a casual grey hoodie, while Chanyeol, oh for the love of God, was wearing white matching pajamas with cute chibi giraffes printed all over them. His hair was sticking to every side and he wasn’t wearing anything on his feet, the poor boy. Chanyeol was rubbing his eyes sleepily, yawning every now and then and looked at you like he was half-dreaming.


Baekhyun, on the other hand, was glaring at you like he wanted to kill you. At some point, maybe he did want to.


You switched your eyes back and forth from one boy to the other. “What are you guys doin—”


“You better not blink because I’m only doing this once,” Baekhyun said, voice cold and dangerous.


“Wha—?” Then you noticed he was referring to what you said to the library. Holy , is he going to...?


When Baekhyun turned his gaze to Chanyeol, the taller one stretched his arms like a cat and groaned. “Baekhyun, what are we doing here? I wanna go back to sleep.”


Baekhyun shushed him and brought his hands to grab the top of his pajamas’ shirt.


“Baekhyun?” Chanyeol asked, sounding like a curious—but way too sleepy—child.


“I’m sorry for this, Yeol,” Baekhyun said before he crashed his lips to Chanyeol’s.


“HOLY—” You gasped and wrapped your hands around your mouth. Whoa, he’s really doing it, you screamed in your head.


Baekhyun was not just kissing Chanyeol. He was practically eating his face. You knew you were the one who asked for this, but you only did that because you thought Baekhyun would be a wimp and back out of it. You couldn’t comprehend how Baekhyun could just so forcefully parted Chanyeol’s lips and nipped and bit and and sneaked his tongue inside the other boy’s mouth.


Chanyeol’s eyes were wide open and he tried to push the shorter boy away by the shoulder with both of his hands, but he failed miserably because as cute and little as he looked, Baekhyun was a fighter who knew Hapkido like the back of his hand. Baekhyun grabbed him by the nape, forcing Chanyeol to obey him and just let him do what he wanted.


“TEN!” Baekhyun said, pushing Chanyeol away and wiped his mouth with his hand. He was panting and Chanyeol was swaying from side to side until he held himself against the wall, looking dizzy and screwed-up.


“There!” Baekhyun said, eyes on you when he said, “Now I owe you none.”


He his heels and grabbed Chanyeol by the wrist. “Let’s go back, Yeol.”


Chanyeol followed him—more like, got dragged away—while he repeated the question, “Did you just kiss me? Baekhyun, did you—why did you kiss me? Hey, Baek!”


You were left alone, standing awkwardly in front of your door, and noticing that you had been holding your breath all along.




The next day, you wanted to kill yourself.


No, not because you just saw the most horrifying images of two boys making-out with each other, but because you overslept and you were late to your early Mandarin class. And after you were finished getting scolded in front of the whole students, you found out that you hadn’t done your homework that was due today. You had completely forgot about it.


And to make it even more worse, it turned out that Byun Baekhyun was in the same class as you were.


“Two hundred and three pages of Mandarin poetries to read, and three thousand words paper worth of your own comprehension about it, all due to tomorrow. Oh not to mention, all of those things have to be written in Hanzi,” Baekhyun commented as he approached your seat right after the class ended. He whistled and put on his trademark smirk. “I say, you’re ed, Sweetheart.”


You spared a glare for him while you were putting back all your Mandarin literatures into your backpack. You were already so pissed off for the detention you got from the Mandarin teacher, Mr. Chou, and you didn’t need another to put salts on your wounds. “Shut up and leave me alone,” you said before you stood on your feet and walked away.


“I can help you, you know,” he said and you stopped walking. “Just as you might have noticed, I’m actually pretty good at speaking Mandarin.” It was true, the eyeliner maybe in English, but damn, he was great at speaking Mandarin.


You looked back to him over your shoulder, and noticed the way he folded his arms proudly over his chest. “And why would you help me?” you asked.


“Oh, I don’t know.” He casually shrugged. “Maybe because we’re friends?”


You almost laughed. “Bull.”


“Well, fine. I was just trying to be nice.” He swung his bag over his shoulder and casually walked, passing you by. “It’s your loss anyway, since I’m not the one who has to deal with those papers. Have fun~”




Later that evening, after trying to deal with those mandarin poems alone for, ten minutes give or take, you screamed in frustration and tried to look everywhere for help because you really just couldn’t understand what to do with those phrases and hanzis. You wanted to call Lu Han, the Chinese gege, but seeing the fact that he was now ually frustrated because of that girl he couldn’t get, you decided not to. Besides, he was out of town that day anyway. Something about an illegal field trip or something—whatever that meant.


You tried crossing the hall and asked your only girl friend, only to hear her giving excuses like, “I’m sorry. I really want to help you, but see, Chanyeol’s in here right now and he’s pretty depressed, saying that he had these images of Baekhyun his mouth or something. At one point, he actually cried so I’m really worried right now. Please understand.”


You just nodded because wow, that poor elf-look-alike boy just had to suffer so much for your own entertainment. Feeling a little bit guilty, you just packed your worksheets and some books and went to the library, hoping to find some enlightment there before they closed the place for the day.


When you reached the library, you tried to find the perfect spot that wasn’t too occupied with people. So you started wandering around, crossing a few bookshelves to get to the end of the room and you stopped when you heard a moan coming from somewhere not too far from you. You turned around and quietly followed the source of the sounds. You heard rustling sounds and more girly moans coming from behind a dusty bookshelf at the back, hidden corner of the place and you tried to muffle your gasp when you heard a girl yell in ecstasy. “God! Baekhyun, don’t stop! Aah!”


Are you ting me right now? At the library? At this kind of hour? REALLY? There are people here!


The moans got louder and louder until Baekhyun—you could tell by the familiarity of his husky voice—put a hand around , saying, “Be quiet, you’re going to get us caught.”


You felt gross and disgusted and shocked, so you wanted to leave those two horndogs alone. But since the Lady Luck wasn’t on your side today, you slipped on your own feet and fell down to the hard carpet, creating a loud, thumping sound.


“! Someone’s here!” You heard the girl shriek and there were more rustling sounds coming from their spot.


You rubbed your chin and hoping it wouldn’t bruise the next day. You felt your bottom lip starting to bleed and you could faintly taste copper on your tongue. Apparently, you had bitten your lower lip on your way down.


“Of course.” Baekhyun’s voice came up, creeping closer as you turned around on your back and noticed him looking down on you. He looked like a mess but at least he was fully clothed. His hair looked like he just got hit by a storm and you could see bruises on his neck and collarbones as he tried to button up his shirt. “Of course, it’s you,” Baekhyun said again. “Why do you have to ruin everything for me, huh? I was just this close from reaching it.”


You felt sick. You just wanted to throw up on his shoes again. No. On all over his body right now.


“Have you no shame?! This is a public place.” You snapped while wiping your bleeding lips with the back of your hand.


Baekhyun snorted. “So?” He literally walked over your body, not even thinking of stopping and helping you back to your feet.


Some parts of you just felt so grossed-out by his action but another part of you also felt so angry to have caught him making out with another girl like this. Wait, why am I angry in the first place? It’s not like he’s my boyfriend or anything. He’s not even my friend! I shouldn’t have cared about him, not even a bit! You thought to yourself.


“Unbeliavable. Doing that kind of thing in public… You’re such an embarrassment to everyone,” you muttered quite loudly, lifting yourself up from the ground.


“I heard that,” he said casually while walking to the nearest table.


“I wasn’t trying to hide it!”


It’s crazy how he could be so relaxed after getting caught making out in a freaking library. He was a true definition of an , you concluded. You were so mad and you felt like wanting to flip over the table in front of where he was sitting. But, no. Your unfinished Mandarin homework was much more important than your temper right now. You snapped back to reality and remembered what Baekhyun had said to you right after the class ended, and you noticed the coincidence that just happened, you meeting him like this here in the library. It was as if God had planned it Himself for you to meet him so he could help you with your problems.


After taking a deep breath, you pulled yourself back together. You decided to throw away your pride for now and just ask him for his help.


Baekhyun was checking his reflection on his phone’s screen when you came up to where he was sitting. “What?” he asked sharply.


“I...” You cleared your throat uncomfortably, and ran a hand through your hair. “I need your help with my, uh, Mandarin paper.”


Baekhyun put back his phone to his pocket and smiled at you. “And how may I help you?”




“Okay, so now what do you want in return?” You asked, after spending three hours straight trying to finish your three thousand words paper with Baekhyun’s help. It was true, he really was good at speaking Mandarin. Almost too good, even. He explained to you how to write hanzi carefully—at first anyway, the second time wasn’t so nice—and you were really starting to understand the poems, the phrases—or at least the most important parts of them. And as long as you hated to admit it, you were glad you asked him for help even though you knew he’d want something in return. “I know you’re not doing this for free, Baek, so shoot.”


“I am shocked. Do you think that low of me?” Baekhyun asked, smirking.


You rolled your eyes. “Obviously.”


“Ouch. But, well, you’re right. I do want you to do something for me.”


You winced. “You’re not going to ask me to make out with girls, are you?”


“No, of course not. I’m not a like you,” he easily said and pretended that he didn’t see your glare. “What I want you to do is—”


“I’m also not going to sleep with you,” you cut him off, blocking him with your hands to emphasize it.


“First of all, ew.” Baekhyun made a face. “Second of all, why would you even think that I want to sleep with you?”


“Well, I—”


“Shut up, I don’t have time for your .”




“What I want to say is,” he interrupted again. “I want you to explain to Chanyeol that I was kissing him not because I’m gay, as you might have noticed earlier when I ed that girl against the bookshelf—”


You made a face. “God, ew, stop.”


“—I want you to tell him that I was only doing it because you asked me to. Apparently, he was scarred for life because of what I did. And so partly because of you too, since you were the one who gave me the order. And now I want you to apologize to him for that.”


You waited for him to say something more, but he didn’t, so you asked. “That’s it?”


“Yeah,” he said.


“You wanted me to apologize to Chanyeol—”


“And explain.”


“And explain, but that’s it? After what I did to you? Really?” You were having a hard time believing this. You honestly thought that Baekhyun would ask something like, ‘I want you to sell your kidney and give the money to me’.


Baekhyun threw back a glare like he always did. “Why are you so surprised?”


“Because I always thought you were a selfish, inappropriate, pain in the bastard—”


“Right back at you.” He rolled his eyes.


“—who doesn’t care about anyone other than yourself.” You smiled mockingly when you said the next words. “But it turns out, you’re just as vulnerable and fragile as a girl who just lost her ity to some .”


“Nice,” Baekhyun commented.


“You really care about Chanyeol, don’t you?” You asked, grinning at him.


He moved away from you a little. “Stop, you’re making me want to puke.”


You giggled. “You do. You careeeee about him. Byun Baekhyun is a human, ladies and gentleman!”


“I’m going to vomit on your head.”




Later that night, you were being judged so hard by four males when you visited Chanyeol’s room and apologized to him about what happened.


“Why would you ask Baekhyun to kiss me?” Chanyeol asked, frowning.


You stuttered. “I w-wasn’t thinking, I just thought that he wouldn’t do it and—”


“Yeah, I was wondering too. Why would you?” Baekhyun added. “Is that some kind of your fantasy? It’s like to you, isn’t it? Two amazingly hot boys making out with each other? Oh, you must have been so —”


You threw one of Chanyeol’s pillows at the eyeliner boy. “Shut your hole, Baekhyun.”


“Hey, don’t be so hard on her,” Lu Han joined in. “But seriously, sis, if you wanted to see two hot boys making out, you could have just searched that on Google. There are so many sites you can check.”


"And of course you would know that," Baekhyun said, sending Lu Han a look, which was replied by the other male with a shrug and "What, a guy can't look at two hot boys making out with each other?"


You screamed, completely frustrated. “I wasn’t—I didn’t want to see boys making out—you know what, why are you even here anyway? I thought you were supposed to be out of town.”


“I was," Lu Han said, "In fact, I just got back from the trip. Wanting to have a little chat with Baozi here about something.” Lu Han threw an arm around Minseok, who stared at you with an intense judging look.


“You have troubled me so much since I thought my roommate was gay,” Minseok said, face serious. “You don’t wanna know how it feels to hear a full grown man crying over how he was kiss- by a boy, in the middle of a long, quiet night.”


You wanted to cry.


Baekhyun chuckled. “This is so entertaining to watch.”




The most horrible thing of being friends with Lu Han was that the said boy tended to do the most unexpected thing in the most unexpected time.


For example, you never would have thought that there would be a day where you'd get involved in a meeting with the topic of as its main discussion at three in the morning. But you did, and that wasn’t even the worst part. You were in a meeting that was held in the first floor’s girls’ bathroom, with four other sleep-deprived people whining next to you as Lu Han, who claimed himself as the responsible chief for the meeting, stood right in front of the group, lecturing every person in the room about , women, and relationships.


“, Ladies and Gentlemen, you might want to listen carefully here,” Lu Han said, clasping his palms together on his back and walked back and forth like a general preparing his soldiers for a battle. “ an art.”


“What is he doing?” You asked, frowning.


"I don't know." Your girl friend rubbed her sleepy eyes. “Why am I in a girls’ bathroom with boys?”


“I know, right?” You said back. “How did he even get the key? Don’t tell me he stole it.”


“Lu Han, for ’s sake, this is three in the ing morning,” Baekhyun protested.


"Hyung." Chanyeol yawned. “Am I dreaming or are you really wearing BB Cream to bed?”


“!” Lu Han shouted dramatically, pointing his finger to Chanyeol’s droopy eyes to emphasize his word. “Is not just for your entertainment. is an adventure! A whole new world, a new—”


“Can somebody please stab this motherer with a fork or something so I can go back to sleep?” Minseok suddenly said and everybody in the room looked at him with startled eyes.


“Whoa, Minseok-Hyung’s clearly not a morning person,”  Baekhyun said. "He's usually so calm and mature."


“No, he’s clearly not,” Chanyeol agreed.


“Well, ladies and gentlemen,” Lu Han continued as if he didn't just get threatened to death by his own best friend. “I have gathered all of you here in this one special occasion—”


You held up a hand. “What special occasion? You just called us over here, screaming that you were in a huge trouble—”


“—to tell you,” Lu Han said dangerously, lowering his voice so you would shut up. “that as the new young generation, you have to be responsible and careful in planning to do ual activities with your loved ones.”


“Tell yourself that, you jerk,” you muttered.


“Baekhyun!” Lu Han suddenly called, making the said boy jumped a little on his toes.


“W-what?” Baekhyun asked, startled.


“No more using girls as objects!” Lu Han lectured. “That includes no more one night stands, no more ing girls in the library, no secret s at the back of the class—”


“You can get girls to give you s in the back of the class?” Chanyeol asked, wide-eyed. "Amazing!"


“Yeah, I didn’t get caught, not even for a sec.” Baekhyun smirked proudly. “One time, I even got a during class.”


“Seriously? Wow...” Chanyeol then stared hopefully to your friend, until she sternly said. “No, Chanyeol. I am not going to give you a nor a in the middle of class session.”


Chanyeol jutted his lower lip out adoringly, batted his eyes and used his aegyo voice. “After the class, then?”


“Oh my God, stop it! You’re going to make my ears bleed!” You shouted, covering your ears with both of your hands.


“Chanyeol!” Lu Han yelled, stopping the tallest boy in the middle of showering his girlfriend with pleading kisses.


“Yes, sir?”


“I want you to start treating your woman like a princess!”


“Huh?” Chanyeol frowned, shifting his eyes from Lu Han’s eyes to his girlfriend’s.


Your friend joined in. “He already treats me well. I don’t want to trouble him more than—”


“Nonsense!” Lu Han shrieked in a high note, making you grimaced. “Women are special, precious little fragile human beings—”


Baekhyun snorted. “Yeah, said the man who has endless with random girls without calling them back in the morning.”


“Baek,” Chanyeol said, “that’s you.”


Baekhyun actually had the decency to blush. “Well, he does it too!”


“I HAVE FALLEN IN LOVE!” Lu Han suddenly declared and there were multiple groans coming from every side of the room. “I have fallen in love so, so intensely with a girl—”


“What’s her name?” You asked.


“Something, Algebra, something, I guess. It doesn’t matter.” Lu Han waved you off. “The thing is! My fragile, innocent little heart—”


“I’m gonna throw up on you, Oppa, seriously—”


“—is now hurting, pained, and there’s not one medicine in the world that would be able to cure it.” Lu Han was now kneeling on the bathroom tiles with a hand on his heart. “And I have noticed, maybe this was God’s punishment for me because I’ve been treating every single human being with vajajay on the lower part of their bodies—”


“What’s a vajajay?” Chanyeol curiously questioned.


Baekhyun yawned. “It’s , Yeol, now shut up.”


“I’m gonna kill him—” Minseok was standing up and he balled his fists, ready to lunge at Lu Han until Chanyeol stopped him by wrapping his arms around his waist. “Minseok-Hyung, no! He’s not worth it!” Chanyeol pleaded desperately.


“And I am now telling you, guys,” Lu Han said, slowly wiping nonexistent tears from his eyes. “That now, while you still have the chance, protect her. Protect your woman. Shower her with love, with feelings, with intimate hugs and kisses and—”








“Well, that was weird,” you commented when you walked out of the bathroom. Baekhyun walked just about a half-meter away behind you. Chanyeol and your friend were already walking ahead, their hands wrapped around each other’s waist like glue, making you want to vomit over and over again.


“Try being his roommate for a week, and say that again,” Baekhyun said, yawning so hard until his eyes starting to get all teary. Without really noticing, the two of you were starting to walk together, side by side and having a natural conversation.


“I’ve been friends with him since I was a kid, and I swear, he wasn’t like this before,” you replied. "He used to be so innocent."


“Glad Minseok-Hyung beat the crap out of him, then,” Baekhyun said.


“Yeah, where is he anyway?”


“I don’t know. The last thing I saw, he was trying to rip every strand of Lu Han’s hair with his hands.”


You grimaced. “That must have been painful.”


“Yeah, and oh the horrible, girly screaming. Manly, my ." He snorted. "Then I guess both of them passed out?”


You laughed. “They’re gonna be in so much trouble when the janitor found them lying together in the morning.”


“Ha, the janitor.” Baekhyun smiled, his eyes filled with imagination. “He’s gonna be like, ‘What the hell are you two doing in girls’ bathroom? Are you two a bunch of ed homouals? Did you just have in here?’”


You laughed harder this time. “Man, they’re so ed-up. I can’t believe I’m friends with them.”


“Lu Han deserved it, for tricking us like this,” Baekhyun grinned. “Do you know what we should do?”




His eyes gleamed with mischievousness. “We should take a provocative picture of them together and show it to the entire school. I'm thinking maybe we can make a poster?”


You opened your mouth in awe. “That’s seriously a great idea!”


“Right?” Baekhyun said excitedly. “Did you bring your phone with you?”


You brought out your Blackberry, and wiggled it in the air. “Hell yeah!”


Baekhyun grinned so widely, you could see both of his fangs showing, and damn, was he always this beautiful?


“Let’s go!” Baekhyun took a hold of your hand and dragged you back to the bathroom. You were startled at how easily your hand fit his in a perfect way, his lean fingers intertwined with yours, but you decided to just shake your head and calm your heart down.


When you were back at the location, you noticed how Lu Han and Minseok were sprawled on the bathroom’s floor. Minseok was lying on top of Lu Han, already dozing off back to sleep with one of his hands still trying to rip Lu Han’s hair out of its scalp. The other boy was... you weren’t sure. He probably passed out when Minseok knocked him down? Anyway, he was lying helplessly under Baozi with his mouth slightly apart and eyes thoroughly closed.


You and Baekhyun looked at each other’s eyes and shared a secret smile.


You brought out your phone. “Smile for the camera~”




Later that day...




“Lu Han, calm down—”




“Hey, isn’t that the Algebra girl?”


“Nice photo, Lu Han.”





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Chapter 34: its been more than a year :( pls update soon ilyy
Eunsmoon 73 streak #2
Chapter 34: They're finally having the babies! I don't know if you still update this at l but I'm going to stay subscribed cause its super cute.
Eunsmoon 73 streak #3
Chapter 17: Ok this is the fluffiest, cutest chapter I have ever read. I love this so much! I hope that I get a proposal like this :)
I've read this fic in persian.....I luv it!
It's so funny and this type of baekhyun is so hot
Chapter 34: It's been two years since the last update, yet I still find myself always coming back to this masterpiece. It's my favourite fanfic of all time tbh - as in favourite of all EXO fanfics and all fanfics in general including different fandoms. I hope life is treating you well, and want to express my gratitude for this story and the fact that you left all your great work up for everyone who loves it to keep rereading it! Thank you <333
visiting this story again~~~~
fgtalks #8
Chapter 34: The babies probably two yo now. Well. Hello. I hope you're always healthy and happy author. And i hope the babies are okay. Yay. Uhm. This story is fantastic. Well, but if you don't want to continue this, uhm. I'll try to be fine. It's okay. As long asthe babies are okay. And maybe now Chanyeol is finally happy again, right? Either he's moved one already or just got back together with his ex. Have a good day (^^)/
fgtalks #9
Chapter 27: I love them all! And i can't see Chanyeol got broken heart ㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ He deserves to be happy too!