Chanyeol awoke with the mother of headaches. His head felt so heavy and it pounded painfully, causing him to groan deeply plenty of times before he even was able to open his heavy eyelids. Even his stomach hurt;  twisting painfully until Chanyeol couldn't take it anymore. He got up and immediately fell back on his couch, which had turned into his bed for the past week or so. 

"Oh ..." He groaned again, smothering his face in the orange couch pillow. 

"Hangover is the punishment you get when you drink."

Chanyeol raised his pained head to see where the sudden voice came from. It was Luhan standing near the couch with a not so pleased expression.

"What are...." Chanyeol trailed off because his head hurt too much. 

"What am I doing here?" Luhan scoffed."What were you doing drunk driving last night? Or how about what were you thinking when you went over to Baekhyun's to pain him even more??"

Chanyeol's head hurt further when Baekhyun was mentioned. He remembered last night and he abruptly felt like throwing up from the thought of it. His weak legs quickly got up, surprising Luhan, and dashed into the nearest bathroom, puking for long minutes into the toilet bowl.

Chanyeol cursed again as he washed his mouth with mouth wash once his body stopped torturing him. Then he left out the bathroom only to see Luhan walking up to him.

"You okay?"

"Yeah."

"So, ready to explain yourself?" Luhan asked, he really did seem angry.

"What the am I supposed to explain?" 

"Why you did that to Baekhyun." Luhan retorted back.

Chanyeol was quiet for a few minutes thinking about how unfair it was. Everyone was blaming him as if he wasn't being tortured too. He was withering away because of Baekhyun but Baekhyun seemed to already move on that damn quickly.

"I didn't do anything to him. He's the one that's killing me." Chanyeol said, anger starting to build in him."All I want is him. That's ing all and now he's already moved on. He ing has someone else already."

"Chanyeol, he doesn't h-"

"He's so cruel. I begged on my knees for him but he just...." Chanyeol bit back his frustrated tears. He didn't really mean to call Baekhyun mean things but he couldn't help the anger in him."... everything!"

The room was silent for a minute but Chanyeol couldn't hold on for long. 
 
"And you, everyone, all of you are being unthoughtful! So damn clueless to how I might feel. I apologized and I meant every word and I regretted but no one's forgiving me. Fine, I'll just stop talking to you all since you won't ing care about me! What el-"

"Chanyeol!" Luhan effectively shut him up with a furious yell."I wouldn't be here if I didn't care! And Baekhyun doesn't have a boyfriend, that's his cousin! Also, for your information, Baekhyun was the one who called me last night to check on you after you left his house. He was worried to death, he was sobbing because of you and you still think he doesn't care."

"His cousin?" Was the only thing Chanyeol could breathe out, relief unconsciously running through him at the news.

"Yes, you idiot. That's his cousin." Luhan pointed out again.

"But if he really cared, he would've came back after all these days." Chanyeol quickly retorted back. He all of a sudden felt angry because it seemed like to him that everyone had abandoned him.

"You said it yourself, he thinks he's not good enough for you. That's why he won't come back."  

Chanyeol fell silent as it all dawned over him again. That was the problem, that Baekhyun didn't think he was enough for Chanyeol. That was the only reason he wasn't coming back, as far as Chanyeol knew. But oh how he wished he could easily, just like that, change Baekhyun's mind. He couldn't, he knew he couldn't. 

"I only..." Chanyeol whispered pitifully, feeling like he had nothing else. Nothing at all."I....want to make him the happiest person in the world."

"You could do that, by letting him move on." Luhan replied."If that's what he wants."

"Will he really be happy?" Chanyeol asked unsure. Of course he wanted Baekhyun happy but even better; happy with him. It would be perfect if they were happy together.

"Chanyeol, he might. Who knows." Luhan replied softly."Just try and whatever is meant to happen will happen."

Chanyeol dragged his legs back to the couch, plopping down on it. He threw his head back and stared at the ceiling, huffing in complete frustration. 

His own next words barely left his lips. They made his heart freeze up.

"Alright. I'll try to forget him."

And then he did try.

Chanyeol attempted to throw Baekhyun's forgotten toothbrush away but he ended up placing it in his drawer for some reason. He even laid down on his bed one night but didn't even last a minute. He found that the couch gave him less of a sleepless night. At school- after he made a brave decision to go back-  he avoided Baekhyun at all places and at all times. He focused on his classes and even studied more and more, trying to make up for all he's missed. Except math was still hard on him, if not even harder now. It was the last day of the week and Chanyeol hadn't seen Baekhyun not once. But then it eventually happened. When Chanyeol was walking into the bathroom he bumped into a much smaller body that felt undoublty familiar against his. Their eyes met and Chanyeol felt like there was a knife cutting through his heart. Especially when Baekhyun muttered an apology then walked away from him as if they had always and will always be just mere strangers to each other.

 If that hurt then Chanyeol didn't know how to explain the hateful feeling he got when he was getting in his car after school ended and saw Baekhyun being bullied by three scrawny tall boys. Chanyeol watched in pure pain as Baekhyun tried to avoid them and walk his own way, only to be blocked by them again. They were saying cruel things to him and one of them even dared to push Baekhyun until he stumbled backwards. Their faces were burned into Chanyeol's memory, especially the one that hit Baekhyun. God, he wanted to torture them so badly. But he couldn't, he couldn't. Another thing he couldn't do was get in his car and ignore everything that was happening. Chanyeol remained standing by his car, watching out for Baekhyun as his blood boiled in anger. 

As if sent from above, a muscular teacher suddenly appeared and saw what was going on. Immediately, the three boys were stomping away while cursing after they were promised detention the next week.

Chanyeol kept his glare on the boys, making sure he memorized their faces. When they were out of his sight, Chanyeol went back to look at Baekhyun and almost had his heart jump out when he found Baekhyun looking right at him. Surprisingly, neither one stopped staring at the other. They both weren't able to. They were about ten feet away and people were going and coming between them but it didn't stop them. Chanyeol was suffering from the look Baekhyun was giving him. He looked so lonely and hurt. 

Unfortunately, or maybe fortunately, Chanyeol's phone rang, causing him to look away and answer it. He put it against his ear and looked back up to Baekhyun---except Baekhyun was gone. Chanyeol looked around rapidly for him, he saw Baekhyun walking alone away from the school building, and most likely to his home. Chanyeol's heart hurt so much, he couldn't even reply when Luhan was calling for him repeatedly through the phone. All he could do was stare at Baekhyun's back as he walked further and further away from him.

A week was all Chanyeol was able to go through trying. He was too cowardly and weak to do it. 

He tried. But there was no use. 

He couldn't possibly forget him when Baekhyun was always on his mind. He only needed Baekhyun. 

------

Baekhyun's heart nearly stopped when he had looked into Chanyeol's eyes for that split second. He had seen him from afar twice that week and both times he had cried silently to himself to take the sadness out. But when he was that close to Chanyeol the third time, he ended up skipping his last class of the day in favor of running to the roof and let his sad tears out again. 

Baekhyun didn't know how to feel exactly when he spotted Chanyeol watching him when some boys were picking on him. It looked like Chanyeol cared, it really really did. But once again, Baekhyun didn't want to believe it just because he wanted it to be real. At that moment Baekhyun missed the way Chanyeol used to always stick up for him, he felt loved back then. Baekhyun's knees were so weak when Chanyeol kept looking at him, locking their eyes together. Baekhyun had nearly sighed in relief when Chanyeol finally looked down to pull something out his pocket. He had took that moment to his advantage, walking away before he had a break down right at that spot.

He thought forgetting Chanyeol was going to be easy. It really wasn't.

Suho had left a few days before, back to his house because of his college and part-time job. He couldn't really stay forever with Baekhyun. Baekhyun thought he was going to be fine when his cousin left but his departure only left Baekhyun lonely and his nights full of tears. He regretted not going back to Chanyeol. If Chanyeol were to come one more time; he wouldn't refuse, he'd go to Chanyeol immediately. It didn't look like Chanyeol was going to try again though; he had already showed the first sign of moving on. Chanyeol going back to school after a long time was the sign. 

Before he left, Suho had let Baekhyun know that he had to go after his happiness. And if Chanyeol made him feel safe and loved then he should go back to Chanyeol. Baekhyun, at the time wasn't very convinced by those words but now when he was sitting alone on the top of the school roof, he found out that he needed to feel safe and loved again. He felt empty constantly and Baekhyun figured that he wanted to permanently eradicate the unpleasant feeling.

The only way was to run up to Chanyeol himself.

He spent Saturday pondering over if he should go back or not. After so much thinking and questioning Baekhyun's decision was made; going back to Chanyeol was what he wanted. But there were still some problems. Maybe Chanyeol wouldn't accept him anymore, maybe he didn't  want to see him, maybe he even hated him now. 

All those thoughts left Baekhyun afraid, but the strong urge to see and be beside Chanyeol again was much much more than his fear. His love for Chanyeol gave him the courage he needed.

That's why he found himself dressing up and getting ready on a Sunday late afternoon to go to Chanyeol's house. He still wasn't believing that he was really really going there. It's been so long, twenty-one days exactly. Twenty-one days since that cursed day. 

Before leaving his room he took one more glance at himself in the mirror. He looked pretty presentable with a dark red shirt and black skinny jeans. His face though was a different story; the fear, doubt, and worry that was in his heart was etched all over it. He was one step away from giving up. 

What would he do if Chanyeol wouldn't talk to him? Baekhyun didn't think he could really handle it.

He took a shallow breath and thought to himself positive thoughts. 
From one thought to another, which were basically very nice memories of Chanyeol's and his, they led to that particular day that Baekhyun was tutoring Chanyeol for the first time. He remembered those words that Chanyeol had said and how much those same words had confused him back then.

"If anything happens in the future, please know that I don't mean harm and its really all unintentional."

"And I want you to know is that I really, really, really, really like you. And you're special to me, I can't really explain it in words. You make me feel things I never knew existed and I'm thankful because you make me happy."

Baekhyun's breath hitched in his throat. He should've thought of Chanyeol's words earlier. They never really came to his mind though.

Which was stupid actually.

Chanyeol didn't mean any harm, he didn't want to hurt Baekhyun, he liked Baekhyun, Baekhyun was special to him, and Baekhyun made him happy.

Baekhyun wanted Chanyeol to be happy too and that's all it took for him to get into his shoes and quickly leave his home to catch a taxi. On the way a few tears escaped Baekhyun's eyes because he realized only now that he was being stupid. Chanyeol had came and asked for him to come back several times and he was just being thoughtless and selfish, rejecting him every time. Now it was his turn and if Chanyeol was going to even look at him, then he was going to consider himself very extremely lucky.  

His heart was beating rapidly and his breath was uneven as Chanyeol's big house came in sight. As much as he wanted to, he couldn't back out now, he was going to do it. He had to.

"Over here, please." Baekhyun told the taxi driver softly and handed him money for the ride. He closed his eyes and prayed for Chanyeol's forgiveness once more before opening them slowly and stepping out the car. He managed to walk up to the front door then his legs just froze; his whole being froze.

His watering eyes remained glued on the doorbell. He was clearly petrified. 
After a few minutes of attempting to calm down, Baekhyun raised his slightly trembling finger and daringly pushed the white button.

Then he just wanted to run away, but for the life of him, he couldn't. His feet were stuck to their spot.

Not long after, Chanyeol eventually appeared from behind the was closed door and Baekhyun felt his heart stop. He was suddenly trembling and all his planned words were stuck in his mouth. His eyes were burning because he was so close to tears and he couldn't stop chewing on his lips from his nervousness. 

Baekhyun looked everywhere and anywhere, trying to avoid looking at Chanyeol. But eventually, as his eyes were traveling he caught a glimpse of Chanyeol's face. Chanyeol's eyes were wide and his expression almost unreadable. He definitely looked bewildered but there was something else Baekhyun was wishing that he was just imagining. Chanyeol also looked unmistakably outraged.

Baekhyun's mouth opened, trying to form a sentence or even a word.

"C-Chan--y-yeol....I," Baekhyun could feel his heart pounding achingly in his chest."I..."

"What are you doing here?" Chanyeol's raucous way of speaking to him made Baekhyun want to cry out loud. He wished he never did come. 

"I...." Tears were b in Baekhyun's eyes from the intense fear. He forced his eyes to stop at Chanyeol's face. 

"I m-miss you." Baekhyun said almost pathetically. He didn't know where that came from. All he knew was that was the truth. 

"Well, I don't. You should've came when I needed you. Now it's too late." Chanyeol spat out.

Baekhyun felt his chest constrict painfully at the words he feared.

It really was too late. 

"Chanyeol...." Teardrops fell down his cheeks as the pain increased immensely in his heart. There was a sickly feeling in his stomach.  

"Just go." And just like that the door shut close right in his face, causing him to flinch violently. Baekhyun was crestfallen and doomed for sure. As tears were streaming down his cheeks, more and more by the second, he began hating everything he had put himself through. He should've never loved Chanyeol from the very start. He should've stopped it when it was still a crush. He should've never said yes when Chanyeol asked him to be his boyfriend. Regret and even more regret ran through his whole body.

 He stood there, like a young child, for several of minutes crying at his heart break. Baekhyun couldn't handle what was happening to him now, he felt worse than that day that he left Chanyeol. Maybe it was because now he wasn't leaving Chanyeol; Chanyeol was leaving him. 
His legs were shaking and weaker than ever, to the point of aching. He felt so small, as if everything and everyone was going against him, when all that was going against him was Chanyeol. But Chanyeol was enough to make him curl up on a floor and cry helplessly. It was getting harder and harder by the second to breathe because of the extremely painful constricting in his chest. And his eyes were burning with tears that held all the negative emotions; sadness, fear, regret, loneliness, worthlessness, and everything that has been buried into him since that hateful day weeks ago.

"Chanyeol," By then he was practically sobbing as he began knocking on the door with his balled up fists. It was like he had lost his mind and was only thinking with his heart; which only wanted Chanyeol.

"Open the door, I'm sorry."

"Chanyeol, please. I need you. Chanyeol?" Baekhyun continued to murmur on and on, losing his patience quickly."Chanyeol! I can't do this anymore, I can't forget you! I never was able to!"

His hands never stopped hitting the door and his tears never stopped coming down and his mixed up words never stopped rolling out his mouth and the silence behind the door never stopped also. Which really had Baekhyun disconsolate.

"Chanyeol, say something! Are you listening to me?" Baekhyun whimpered at the feeling of being rejected."I love you. I have always loved you. Even before you asked me out just because of that bet. I only agreed because I love you and I wanted to be close to you in any way. Chanyeol, believe me. I love you and I need you more than anything. What else do you want me to admit?"

Even more silence.

"Chanyeol! Stop! You too should have never made that dumb bet! You're at fault too, so stop ignoring me! It hurts!!" He yelled out loud that time and he even banged on the door harder until he felt a sting in his fists.

After completely losing hope when there was no answer, Baekhyun finally let his hands fall down to his sides, giving up. It didn't seem like Chanyeol wanted to talk to him so he turned around and took the first step down, still crying to himself. He wanted more than anything for this disheartening feeling to vanish. Now, he opened his eyes and now he knew how Chanyeol must've felt every time he had came to him and got deserted. He was truly sorry and was so desperate for Chanyeol to forgive him.

He wiped away his tears with the sleeve of his shirt before walking away

-------

Ok, so I`m sorry for taking a loooong time to update and then when I update I make it short. I`m sorry.

But I will make it up by updating in about a week or maybe even less, and the next chapter will be longer than usual, so I hope that makes you happy. 

Thanks for subscribing, reading, and commenting. I really appreciate it. :) And also please please please let me know how it`s going, I really need the support. Thank you again and take care my precious cuties /hugs all of you tightly/