Two weeks for another Silver Lining update.
I hope I don't disappoint you guys with this update.

I was scrolling down a list of an articles one day, and found about this topic.
It was about how South Korean society treats a single mother with a child out of wedlock.
That article was originally my inspiration behind this story.
I know that this topic is a sensitive one. And I apologize beforehand if I offend SK readers (if any).
I don't know how SK thinks about a single mother nowadays, but I read that it gets better :)

Again, this is just a fanfiction. I really am sorry if I offend any readers >.<

Another note: Thank you for those who read and left comments. It was a great support for me to go on with this fic.
This is my first on going ever, not to mention my first serious attempt to write fiction. I notice my mistakes here and there throughout the released chapters. I hope I can do better in each of new update :) 

Big thanks to KidBunnyMushroom who read all my fics and always left comments.

If you wish to read something lighter, sweet nothing, you could read my one shots :)

By the way I have a wordpress account for my published stories: http://thesilverstrands.wordpress.com/
I usually write there first before I repost it here :D

Alright, I talk to much.
Without further ado, enjoy~ ♥

---

Sunny was sitting on one of the tables in the cafeteria down her company building. The place was crowded since it was lunch time. Her employees were filling the the vast hall.Some were lining up in neat lines in front of the different choices of food vendors. Others were wandering in smaller groups, weighing the various options of food they were about to choose. Some were carrying trays in their hands, looking for empty seats. Others were sitting already and enjoying their lunch. It was just like another bustling cafeteria all in all.

The only thing extraordinary was her existence in that very cafeteria. It was not unusual before though. She used to have lunches together with her employees every day when she had no business luncheon. She would sit together with different groups each day, get engaged in her employees light conversations, joke and laugh together. Her employees often said to each other how humble she was, despite her position in the company.

However, her decision to come down for lunch was somehow regretted. She knew that rumors and speculations would already find their ways to its listeners by now. Every person in that hall would have ideas forming in their heads about what was happening to her in the span of these two months. She knew they would gossip about her physical condition which was declining. She knew they talked about her dark circles below her eyes, how skinny and skinnier she became, and speculated about her ended relationship.

She sighed. Society, she told herself sarcastically, while smiling back at some employees who walked pass her and offering her polite smiles. She couldn't know which one were genuine and which one were fake anymore. It was vague to her now.

"May I sit here, Ms. Lee?"

The one's talking to raised her head from her plate to see her secretary smiling at her. Right when the small lady saw the smile, she knew that this one was genuine. While returning the smile to the greeter, she gestured at the empty seat with her fork, allowing her secretary to sit down.

"Why do you come down this late? The lunch time is almost over, you know," Sunny asked her secretary. Her right hand was twirling the pasta on her plate absentmindedly. She lost her appetite for finishing her pasta and she silently blamed the people staring at her for that.

"Something caught me up, Ms. By the way, I had rescheduled your meeting with Mr. Lim from Coway to Tuesday next week. Good thing he said he cannot make it this Friday either, so he gladly agrees."

"Now, now. . . Enough with the report and eat. We don't talk business on the dining table," the small built superior interjected.

Juhyun opened halfway to argue, but she stopped. She muttered with a low voice instead, "Saying that to me, yet she always has business lunch."

"What were you saying?" said the boss with stern voice. She raised one of her eyebrows questioningly.

"I-I didn't say anything," the secretary stuttered. Her hands were unconsciously fiddling with her chopsticks. She looked uneasy.

Sunny pretended to glare at her secretary for some moments before she snorted out laughter, "Gotcha. You should see yourself. Cowering like that. So funny."

The latter huffed. She couldn't hide her transparent annoyed look, "What is funny about that, Miss?"

"You," the smaller lady pointed at her with her fork. A big grin spread on her face. "You should learn to be a bit lenient, you know. Learn how to joke and all, Juhyun, don't be too strict."

"I do joke around, Miss. But you are my boss. How am I supposed to joke with you?" she answered diplomatically, with that flat expression of hers.

"I'm asking you, how long have you been working for me?" asked Sunny.

"Hmm. . . Three years," she answered.

"Three years it is," said Sunny. "Listen Juhyun, I already regard you as my own sister. So, you don't have to be all that stiff to me, okay. You can even call me unnie."

"W-what? No, Miss. It would be impolite for me to do so," she refused.

"What's impolite about. . ." Sunny's question was halted as she heard a conversation from the table on her right.

". . . the police is taking the uncle in, I read. I can't believe it, how could a someone his own family. I mean, they shared the same blood line for goodness sake," said a woman in checkered blue shirt.

"Yea, there must be something very wrong in his brain. What he did was inhuman. Completely low," the other from their table added.

Upon hearing the conversation, Sunny felt her inside convulsing. The little amount of food she managed to swallow just now threatened to come out. She dropped down the fork, pushing the chair backward noisily and ran hastily to the bathroom after mumbling, "Sorry" to Juhyun.

She dashed into one of the toilet stalls, dropped down on her knees and threw up her stomach empty. Every thing that she managed to consume before came out completely, leaving sour and bitter aftertaste on her buds. The taste that made her convulsing again, and throwing up nothing but acidic liquid.

Feeling that nothing would come out anymore, she let her body sit on the cold floor of the toilet. With her head resting on the stall wall, for the first time, she noticed the sharp smell of phenol in that room. It made her want to vomit again, but her stomach was completely empty now. She wrinkled her nose to the stench.

She sighed heavily, I thought I am better by now, but nothing changes apparently.

The petite woman tried to stand up, slowly making her way to the tap. She rinsed clean several times before looking at her own reflection on the mirror in front of her.

Pathetic, she told herself. She noticed the dark circles, her now skinny form. No wonder that her employees were gossiping her and made speculation about her break up.

She felt her face getting warmer, her eyes were hotter, but she swore to not show any more weaknesses. This is something she had to defeat. She had to win against it, against the psychosomatic syndrome her minds created.

"Ms. Lee, are you okay?" Seohyun dashed inside the toilet.

Sunny could feel her concerned tone. She turned to face her and faked a smile, "I'm okay. Must be the thick cream. My stomach isn't in a good condition lately."

"I think YOU are not in a good condition lately," Juhyun emphasized on the word you. "I've told you, you'd better see the doctor, Miss," she handed a bottle of mineral water to her boss.

"Asking so much for someone who doesn't even want to call me 'unnie', eh?" she jokingly said. Sunny opened the bottle and took a big gulp.

Juhyun shut . She huffed loudly. Sunny could see her secretary's pouted lips moving, although unnoticeably.

"Yah! What are you mumbling about right now?" Sunny poked at Juhyun's cheek.

"N-nothing, Miss," replied Juhyun.

It was the boss' turn to sigh. "Learn to lay back, Juhyun-ah. Sisters, okay?"

The latter just nodded.

"Let's go."

The small stature boss led their way out. The cafeteria which was buzzing just a second before turned silent when the two people came out of the toilet. Some were starring, some were pretending to focus on their meals, some were looking somewhere else.

Sunny sighed. Even the boss couldn't escape this kind of situation. .

Just then, Sunny felt a light nudge on her arm. She turned to her side to see Juhyun was smiling encouragingly.

"Regardless everything, they will likely to talk about you. You're our celebrity here. Just ignore them, Mis. ., Un-unnie."

Sunny smiled upon hearing the word. Thanks, Juhyun-ah. You're one of the moral support I needed. Especially in these times, although I never shared anything more than I allow to you.

---

Loud ringtone of incoming call startled her. She tore her eyes from her laptop screen to her smartphone which was right beside it. The screen flashed Sooyoung's name.

Tilting her head a little, she grabbed the phone and touched the screen before pressing it to her ear, "Ehm, S'young-ah, what's up?"

"Your secretary said you aren't feeling well."

"What is she now? Your personal informant?" the latter laughed. "I'm alright. Just feeling lightheaded and sick."

"Hmm... I'll come over to your place, okay. Perhaps we can grab lunch together. I heard my competitor made new recipe."

Sunny grinned, "Getting more engaged to your business now, eh, miss restaurant owner?"

"If not, my financier will withdraw her fund," she joked.

The latter laughed again, "I won't do that."

"Glad to hear some re-assurance. By the way, I'll be there in an hour. So, get ready. Now!"

"Why do you always order me around, missy?"

"Because you are an easy target. Now go! Bye!" Sooyoung ended the call even before Sunny could say 'bye'.

Sunny sighed. She put her smartphone back on her desk and checked her email one more time. That was when she drifted her eyes to the desk calender on the right and saw all the red colored date for weekends and holidays.

Red? She thought. She reached the calendar and started to flip open the previous months. She then turned the page again to current month. She flipped open the calendar again to make sure, then she dropped it, and stared at the date numbers blankly. After going into a brief trance, she snapped out of it and started typing frantically on her laptop keyboard.

Pregnancy. Symptoms. Morning sickness. Those were keywords she searched in the internet. She desperately scanned one after another articles, hoping so much that her hunch was not true.

Tender, swollen s. Fatigue. Frequent urination. Heightened sense of smell. Food aversion. Nausea or vomiting. Bleeding or spotting. She felt her heart accelerated upon reading those words.

She remembered her secretary noted how easily she was getting tired lately. But she dismissed it for she thought it must be because the lack of sleep she was experiencing. She remembered how easily she lost her appetite even though she had her favorite food right in front of her. However, she took the blame to the psychosomatic symptoms she was having. It was the same for vomiting. Her nightmare became a traumatic event and it didn't came alone. The memory brought psychosomatic disorder to her, that was why she was having difficulties for sleeping, eating, even in her interpersonal interactions.

She knew all of it because she had been gathering information about post traumatic syndrome disorder on the internet to know more about what was happening with herself since she couldn't tell anybody. It was also complicated, so she wouldn't tell anybody anyway about what was happening to her that night. Meeting a psychologist was not an option because she wanted to feel normal, and meeting one would suggest that there was something wrong with her. She tried to deny although she already knew that there was something very wrong about herself. Heck, she knew!

"Although it's known as "morning sickness", the nausea that accompanies pregnancy can happen at any time of the day."

She recalled the nausea she was experiencing. It was before, occurred every time she remembered the brutish event or him. Proving that it was indeed the result of post traumatic syndrome disorder. However, giving it a thought, she realized that her daily nausea and vomit now was not related to her thinking about what had happened. She vomited now and then, constantly feeling under the weather.

The lady of tiny stature started to feel fear gripping her heart. Her anxiety rose along with the hyper-ventilation was having.

Calm down, Sunny, Calm down, she said to herself.

A moment later she leaped from her seat, grabbing her purse and sprinted out of her apartment. She headed downstairs to the apothecary to buy test packs and brought the medium plastic bag full of the various kinds of test packs upstairs with her.

She dashed to the bathroom to frantically remove the boxes and lay the test packs one by one on the bathroom cabinet. Taking a urine container provided by one of the pregnancy test pack, she peed in it and place the container along with the ready to use test pack. She dipped the test packs in the urine container or dropped the urine on the sample wells one by one, waiting for the completion sign of test taking. An agonizing minutes indeed for her. Then she had to wait for about another a quarter of hour for the test packs to give result.

She walked in and out of the bathroom restlessly. A doubled excruciating minutes she had to experience than before. She remembered a suggestion she read briefly on one of the test pack box to do other things than to watch pregnancy test to give result. How could she do other things when the matter had become this urgent?

After what seemed like an eternity had passed, she dashed back to the bathroom, taking one test pack stick gingerly. She held it in her palm, yet she didn't dare yet to look. Silently she chanted, please negative, please negative, please negative.

Taking a very deep breath, she lifted the stick up, and looked at the result display. Her heartbeat accelerated.

It can't be. I can't get pregnant. This must be a mistake.

She stared at the double lines on the result display for some moment before throwing it carelessly on the bathroom floor. She took another test pack to confirm its falsity. However, every time she lifted up the test packs, she always found either plus symbol, or double lines, or even the word "pregnant" on the result display. Feeling distressed, she pushed every single test pack left off the bathroom cabinet, sending it scattered on the bathroom floor.

Her world was spinning counterclockwise. Her breathing became shallow as hyperventilation attacked. She held onto the cabinet to support herself as the dizzying sensation invaded and her legs started to wobble.

What should I do? "It" will bring shame to my family. What will others think? Should I keep "it" and give "it" up for adoption like the others? Or should I just abort "it"? If I let "it" live, "it" will eventually suffer the social stigma of being an out of wedlock kid. If I abort "it", "it" is innocent. How should I kill something innocent? I AM the one to blame. If only I didn't try him that night. If only I didn't confront him that night. 

She walked out of the bathroom and headed to the couch in the living room. She starred blankly to the blank screen of 55 inch plasma TV in front of her. She felt she had lost her fighting spirit. She had lost her mind. Just when she was about to bounce back, trying to get her life back on track, the demon dragged her down again. It was dressed in different form.

After some moment, Sunny finally stood up. She walked aimlessly, wandering inside her apartment. Without much thought, she took something from the drawer and returned to the bathroom. She the hot water tap, sat on the floor and gazed at the water which was starting slowly to fill the tub. Steam rose up, blurring the mirror.

---

"Sunny? Sorry, I am half an hour late than what I had promised you. Ready to go?" Sooyoung called from the foyer. She took off her shoes before entering the inner part of her best friends' apartment. "By the way, your front door is opened. You're so careless, midget."

The apartment stayed silent.

"Sunny? Are you even here?" Sooyoung asked nobody. She went to her best friend's bedroom to find it empty. That was when she heard the sound of running water.

She made her way to the bathroom tentatively. The situation in the apartment was weird, and she had this gripping fear growing inside her heart. When she reached the opening of the bathroom, her feet lost its strength. She fell on her knees. One hand gripped the bathroom frame, the other clenched so tightly as she screamed her lungs out.

The sight in front of her was terrifying. Steam in the air, overflowing water, blood was diluted in the water, and a limp figure leaning unto the bathtub, holding a knife in one hand which is laying listlessly on the floor and the other one was inside the tub filled with hot water.