Taemin took her out of her apartment, down the street to catch a bus and then all the way to the hospital. Did he remember that suddenly he did have someone he loved that was sick? Did he want to show her so she knew she wasn’t the only one going through this? They went inside, and walked through the halls like they owned the place. No doctors or nurses or patients acknowledged them as they walked.

Taemin stopped as soon as they left the elevator and said, “This is why I’m dressed as Santa Claus.”

Sona didn’t understand. She looked around. There was no one there… It was the children’s ward. There were pictures of Santa and elves and reindeer and snowmen. There were little trees and lights and ornaments and presents and garland.

“I don’t understand…” Sona finally said.

“I remember now. I came here to play Santa Claus to all the kids that have to spend Christmas in the hospital. I sat in a decorated wheelchair for 6 hours and listened to the wishes of little children, knowing that all I had to give them was a small stuffed animal.”

Taemin took Sona’s hand and pulled her to the window of one room. She cupped her hands against the glass to eliminate the glare of the hallway lights. She could make out the small shape of a little boy clutching a teddy bear, and the figures of his parents asleep in nearby chairs.

“Some of them…all they wanted was to go home. All they wanted was to be well again. Some of them just wanted their family not to worry anymore.” He pulled her to an open doorway across the hall. “Do you know what she wanted?” He motioned to the girl asleep in the bed.

Sona shrugged, looking down as if she’d done something wrong.

“She asked Santa Claus for a new heart…because hers can’t work on it’s own. Every night she goes to sleep with the fear that she won’t wake up again, but maybe her heart will stop forever in the middle of the night while she’s sleeping—even with all the machines hooked up to her body.”

Then he took her to another room, opened the door, stepped inside, and then he closed it again behind them.

“Are we allowed to be in here?” Sona asked in a loud whisper.

Taemin put his finger to his mouth to silently shush her.

He leaned over and whispered into her ear, “What do you think she asked for for Christmas?”

Sona gazed down at the little girl asleep in the bed. Her face was peaceful, and in her arms was a little stuffed animal kitty. Her parents weren’t there. She was alone in the dark. Sona couldn’t imagine what a sick little girl like her would want.

“She has a brain tumor. You wouldn’t be able to tell by looking at her, would you?” Sona shook her head. “All she asked for when she sat on my lap was for all the other children to get well and go home for Christmas. And there’s nothing I can do to make that wish come true. But just the fact that a little girl like her didn’t care as much about herself as she did for every other child in this hospital, shows that you can look past your problems and care about other people…maybe even be happy. You have no idea how much her face lit up when I gave her that kitten.”

Sona looked at the girl again. She had a brain tumor. She could die. And her family wasn’t there with her on Christmas Eve night. But all she asked for from Santa, was that others would be happy. She was content with only a cheap little stuffed animal cat. She was smiling now in her sleep. Sona’s eyes watered. That sounded exactly like the thing Ye-Jin would say. Her little sister would want her to be happy more than she’d want to get well.

Did I think I was the only one in the world who was hurting? Did I think I was only one who couldn’t see my family for Christmas or had lost a loved one? Did I think I was the only one with worries?

“Look at all of these children and tell me what you have to be thankful for.” Said Taemin.

Sona bit her lip, but that didn’t stop the tears.

“Everything.” She muttered. “I have a family that loves me and can afford the treatment for my sister’s cancer. I had wonderful memories with my boyfriend before he died. I have friends who care about me and a good roof over my head. I don’t have to worry about food or clothes or rent or bills because I have a good job. I have everything I need…and some things I want. I’m alive and breathing and healthy and loved and I go to great school…”

Taemin smiled and nodded. “You see, celebrating Christmas isn’t about what you don’t have, it’s about realizing the blessings you already do have and being thankful for them, even when things are hard. And no, it’s not easy, but it is possible.”

Sona nodded as well. He was right. She had more to be thankful for than a lot of other people. She thought of homeless people…starving children…women with cancer…men in jail with broken-down lives…families who had to deal with abuse…the whole world was full of hurt, but in the midst of it all, every year, there’s this tiny beacon of hope called “Christmas”. A light in dark places, when all other lights go out. And she wasn’t going to celebrate it… How could she not celebrate Christmas?

They left the room and she turned to Taemin. “Would you like to come to Christmas party with me?”

“That sounds wonderful, but I have a family somewhere, remember?”

“Oh, right, well first thing tomorrow morning, we’ll find them, I promise.”

He nodded. “I have no worries about that. Ready to go back?”

Sona nodded and they left the hospital to catch another bus.