Someone’s POV:

 

Another second…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Another minute…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Another hour…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Another day…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Another week…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Another month…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Another year…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

How fast has it been our life can be? Is it like the wind which passes by so quickly? Or is it just us, who were so caught up in the midnight trances of our own life to ever notice each passing moment? Would we blame every wasted time to the earth, whose journey around the sun continue no matter how hard the days’ work? Would you blame me, if I ever wish to the gods out there to slow down the earth’s rotation to its sun or better to stop rotating its axis, so you and I don’t have to worry what will happen in a day, in a month, in a year or so.. Pathetic isn’t it?

 

With such luck from every day’s mishap, each new day is a new chance to change our life from the way it used to be, a chance to forget a hurtful past and move on to the unknown. Would you take the risk to create a change?

 

Nah-uh! It’s not that easy, isn’t it? Especially if the past you once had, had taught you to feel, to love, to be hurt, would you still have regrets?

 

“Annyeong haseyo, Kim Taeyeon-imnida, 15 years old!” my cheerful voice called out in the silent room. As I stepped inside, my nerves suddenly felt nostalgic. True, happiness is an understatement to what I’m feeling right now. Being chosen by one of the best music company in South Korea to be a trainee is truly a great opportunity that only fool could decline and just a week ago, SM Ent called me to stay here in the city to be trained and come out as a singer that everyone dreamed of. With a willing heart and with my family’s blessing, without hesitation I forego what I desired of not thinking that I will live here by myself without my parents, Jiwoong~oppa and Hayeon beside me. I missed them already and thinking of them will cause only ache to my heart. How are they right now and what are they doing? Has appa arrived already from work? Does Jiwoong-oppa miss my dorkiness? I bet Hayeon is happy right now getting the room all by herself! That dork! And umma, oh how I miss already her hot porridge soup which its aroma could be smelled on my way home from School. Oh how I miss them already, but what can I do? This is life and I should be working hard from now on so I could help my family in the future. Good thing manager-oppa told me on the way here that I would be sharing my room with the other trainee, so I will not feel alone. Who could she be? Well, soon it will be find out for sure. I quickly removed my shoes, eager to find who would be my roommate and carried my blue duffel bag inside. When I placed my bag on the floor, I saw a pair of feet in front of me. I smiled and again with all of my cheery voice, I looked up and said, “Ahh, you must be my roomy! Annyeo-“

 

And just like winter that freeze out every trees and lakes, upon seeing such exquisite eyes that impersonated a twinkling star up in the starry night boring at me, my brain suddenly freeze and for what seem like eternity, it stopped functioning. Last thing I remember, the word “beautiful” had bombarded my neurons.

 

Incident, coincidental, is there such word as this that could answer such unexplainable occurrence? Whatever it be, such incident could never be avoided when fate already decided to tie both soul together.

 

“9 beautiful buds which bloom into bright flowers, 9 beautiful girls who grew together into such strong and fine young ladies, 9 angels who choose to serve.” As the CEO continued rambling on his speech, my own little mind was not on its current state as the girl beside me, held my hand tightly. She looked at me, her teary eyes turning into crescent moon. Once again, I was held breathless looking into such beautiful depths. “It’s been years since each of you came here to be trained and to grow in this building. It’s you who chose this fate, not them nor me. Now, fate has spoken to each of your perseverance. Each 9 of you will be united as one. Together will rise and together will fall. Together will shine, together will be called Girls’ Generation from now on and forever. I, Lee Soo man, gladly welcomed you in this finite world of popularity and fame. Together let’s embark another step into greatness!”

 

At the end of that heart whelming speech, all 9 of us shouted for joy, not because we will soon be famous but because of such great bond that awaits all 9 of us in the future. We held one another with teary eyes. All of a sudden, someone grabbed me from behind, kissed my cheek and hugged me so tightly. All I felt that moment was like flying in the everlasting cloud 9 and I was damn smiling like an idiot as I held my cheek. My brain had shut down as billions of neurotransmitters loaded my ability to think with repeating message, “she took my first kiss.”

 

I didn’t know why and how it started but what I felt has grown stronger each moment we had together. Is this what they call love? Or is it just affection because both of us are roommates. Whatever it is, such occurrences could never be explained until time would solve what was left unanswered.

 

“This is it guys,” Our manager oppa shouted in order for his words to be heard amidst the loud banging of the amplifiers. The 9 of us circle around our manager oppa behind the stage, listening to God knows what he’s talking. This day, this very special day, the very name So Nyu Shi Dae will be introduced to the world and our group will be the next to perform for our debut song that’s why oppa was instructing us on what to do on stage. However, my ears could not hear every word he said nor my eyes was being observant to my surroundings cause amidst the loud speakers, all I can hear was my heart thumping so hard as I looked into the eye smiling princess who is looking back at me. It doesn’t help either when her million watt eyes winked at me which caused me to freeze.

 

“KIM TAEYEON!!!!” Manager oppa shouted in front of me as I’ve been out of daze.

 

“D-dae oppa?” I stuttered then smiled when I caught my eye smiling princess laughing at the red face of our manager.

 

“Ugh! Never mind! You know the drill Kim Taeyeon! You lead them, they will follow you and I’ll keep my eyes on you, you got that?”

 

“Aye, aye sir! Uh, I mean, dae oppa!” I mockingly saluted at our manager who seemed to be so stressed out.

 

“Oh God, Why do I feel nervous after I heard your voice Kim Taeyeon…” My 8 fellow members laughed at what our oppa had said while Sunkyu elbowed me.

 

“What?” I glared at my fellow midget.

 

“Haha, nothing, just shut it Tae or oppa will explode.”

 

So said the one who always mocks her fellow members, I was about to retort at the midget when I heard an angelic voice spoke and caused my mouth to shut.

 

“Oppa, don’t worry, we’ll be right behind Taeyeon and we’ll help each other, right guys?” My eye smiling princess said. She looked at me an there goes again her million watt eyes winking at me.

 

“Excuse me, ah, So Nyu – ah,” an annoying guy interrupted us and scratched his head, “Nyush- ah whatever, you’re next.” With that he left.

 

“Jerk!” Sunkyu shouted back, “Soon every corner will shout our name at your !”

 

“Shhh!” We reprimanded Sunkyu and tried to drag her back to our circling group.

 

*sigh* Our oppa breathed in and out, getting more frustrated. “ Ok, Let’s get it on already! Tae… Ugh! Forget it! Just be on that stage and be yourself guys. Show them how special all 9 of you…” oppa paused, “and oh-break a leg!”

 

“Dae!” We hugged our manager and all 9 of us circle around. I held my palm in mid-air,

 

“Hana, dul, set...

 

“Chigumun…”

 

 

 

 

*It’s a choice.

 

 

 

 

“So Nyu Shi dae!”

 

 

 

 

* It’s not with her voice that causes my heart to palpitate…

 

 

 

 

“Apeurodo…”

 

 

 

 

*Neither her eyes which can light up a dim void space…

 

 

 

 

“So Nyu Shi Dae!”

 

 

 

 

*Nor with her beauties that causes my knees to wobble like jellies…

 

 

 

 

“Yeongwonhi…”

 

 

 

 

*Not even her weird pink es could take away this so-called L.O.V.E from my poor heart…

 

 

 

 

“So Nyu Shi Dae!”

 

 

 

 

It’s really hard to tell but by being true to herself, just by being herself, I learned to love her each moment of everyday.

 

It is true, to love and to be loved, it’s up to my choice really. But one thing for sure, being with these 8 ladies who will be with me for who knows how long, Into the New world TOGETHER we surely stand.

 

Our debut performance was great success and we totally nailed it. We were more than happy when we see the happy faces of the audience during our dance number. Though I cannot say that we will not receive hates afterwards but being in the music industry, love and hate is an equal force and either one will become dominant to the other. Whatever will be, acceptance is a need to what fate we’ll have and at the end, we’ve just got to take it or just lave whatever will be. Harsh huh? That’s how life turns out or so they say, for me life is just a gamble, a matter of turnover and risk, a life of give and take.

 

A party was prepared by our CEO for all 9 of us as a warmth welcome for a new girl group in SM ent. All of the staff and our sunbae are all present, maybe being a support system to our group or whatsoever. Who knows, artists in the music industry nowadays are practicing being an actress and foreseen this party as Drama Zoo. Tsk, such plastics!

 

The night was long and my members were having a good time with everyone in the room. As usual, Hyoyeon, Yoona, and Yuri are found in the dance floor, laughing and dancing with our sunbae, Eunhyuk, Leeteukie, Sungmin and Ryeo~. I just can’t believe these 3 dorkies, awhile ago they were complaining inside the car how dead tired they were from the debut performance, look at them now, they’re dancing land grinding their bodies with those men like there’s no tomorrow. Totally, party animal freaks! It’s not bad though considering those men were known for their gentle tricks in the society. But you know, gorgeous ladies plus men multiplied by sweats to the power of total grinding equals a totally great night! Tsk, tsk, tsk, we’re talking about temptation here people. I averted my gaze from those dancing dorkies, seeing how sticky they are now make me want to go home and shower all night. Good thing though, the air conditioner and the smell of the food did little tricks and made the atmosphere pleasant to stay with.

 

Talking about foods, I looked at the far corner where a buffet table was prepared, there I saw Sooyoung, shikshin as ever munching foods on the table with Shindong. When I say munching, it’s more like devouring. She really never changes especially her appetite and her thin body.

 

Our dear sweet maknae, Seohyun is sitting on the chairs with a note and a pen? Okay, what in the world is she doing with it while having a chat with my most ideal person among the Hallyu stars, Boa~unnie. O~oh that name which held high honor and pride which I, myself, am not worthy of such utterance. They seem getting along well and Boa~unnie seems interested to what maknae is blabbing about. It’s a relief for maknae and lucky her, she has someone in their good minds to talk with unlike me…

 

“Taengoo~ah! Drink with me! *hiccup* Come on darlin’ *hiccup* hahaha…”

 

Ugh! Isn’t just my life great?

 

“Sunkyu! You’re drunk already!”

 

*Earlier at the car*

 

“Taeyeon-sshi!” the loud voice of oppa got me out of reverie.

 

“Dae oppa?”

“I trust you with your sisters, right?”

 

“Dae?”

 

“I trust you to take care of your members Taeyeon-sshi.”

 

“...”

 

“Meaning, No going home late, No boys allowed in the dorm, and all of you should go home together.”

 

“So can we drink oppa?” Sunkyu butted in with a glint in her eyes.

 

“Hmmm… talking about that, it should be in minimum amount.”

 

“Yeheeey!” I laughed at the childness of my members, seriously an alcohol could make them happy?

 

“Nuh-uh… not to you Seohyun-sshi… you’re still a kid and you should maintain your naivete not only to those people’s eyes but for you own good.”

 

“Oppaaaaa…” Seohyun whined.

 

I smiled at her and said, “Yah~ seohyunie, you should listen to oppa, we don’t want you to end up like Sunkyu!” Hyoyeon , Yuri and the others burst out laughing except the poor Sunkyu.

 

“Yah! You oh-so-great kid leader, what are you trying to imply huh?”

 

“You midget! What did you say?” I responded with an angry voice.

 

“Stop it Sunkyu, Taeyeon! Aished! Can you guys stop bickering for a while?”

 

“Mianhe Oppa…” We said both at the same time.

 

“Thank you, *cough*, as I was saying, if I caught anyone of you doing the opposite of what I instructed, Taeyeon…”

 

“Dae Oppa!” I smirked at the displeased look of Sunkyu and then smiled; being a leader has a lot of advantages including being in charge of giving punishment… right?

 

“Taeyeon,” Oppa continued with his serious tone “You are held responsible of your members, meaning… if they disobeyed what I said, you’ll be held responsible of the consequences…  No leisure activities for you in 2 weeks, only study, school and practice.”

 

Sunkyu now held the most devilish smirk I’ve ever seen.

 

“Andwae Oppppaaaaaa!”

 

*Back at the party*

 

Omo~omo~ I’m now a dead meat.

 

“Enough of that Sunkyu-ah, com’on!” I took away the alcohol from Sunkyu’s hands which earned me a pout from her.

 

“I’m Sunny damn-it, not chunchu! *hiccup*”

 

“Okay-okay just please don’t shout, our sunbae are now looking at us.” I sheepishly smiled at Yoochun~oppa and the other TVXQ~oppas who are looking at me and Sunkyu. I looked at where our manager and felt relieved that he has not noticed Sunkyu’s state. I let out a sigh, Sunku~ah~ you really are so stubborn.

 

Earlier, I was praying that I could spend the whole night with my eye smiling princess. Unfortunately, somehow fate isn’t on my side. Sunkyu, my pesky friend who happens to be an alcohol lover, just dragged me in the bar table the moment she spotted bottles of wine upon arriving. Bad luck as it is, I could not get close to my princess with Sunkyu’s fast reflex hands, holding me up and worst, my princess is now being held captive by a hideous-douche-bag-ugly-shcmuck-guy. Oh and by the way, that guy just happened to be Choi Siwon, who is known as the hot guy with an annoying smile in Korea, so there’s nothing to worry about. Isn’t this just great smarty-pants?

 

So here I am now, stuck with this drunkard friend. Way to go Taeyeonnie!

 

*sigh*

 

I looked at my eye-smiling princess not too far away from the bar table sitting with the Ice princess, Donghae, and the Douche-bag, Siwon, chatting~ okay scratch that, are they whispering with one another? Oh boy! Was he touching MY PANY? Omo, He is really touching my pany-ah!

 

My brows twitched upon seeing the filthy hand of that schmuck guy on my pany’s smooth skin. Is he really up for a fight me huh? Gaah! Keep your filthy hands off of her you jerk!

 

Oh wait? Did I just say MY PANY? Tsk, tsk, tsk, you wish KIM TAEYEON!

 

*sigh*

 

Why would I react this way when she’s not even mine anyway?

 

*sigh*

 

I think I’m going crazy right now from too much thinking.

 

I held the bottle of wine, the one I took from Sunkyu and drank it with one gulp.

 

AHhh~ that felt much better. *sigh* I’m such a pity.

 

“Taeyeon~ahh… would you stop frowning and sighing?” Sunkyu pried, trying to sit up straight though she failed to do so.

 

*Poke*

 

“Taeyeon~ahh…”

 

*Poke*

 

“Taeyeon~ahh…”

 

*Poke*

 

“Will you stop poking me? Aishjbskshbtpskst! Ugh!

 

I slammed my head on the wooden table of the bar, ignoring the stares from the eavesdropper and the oozing pain on my forehead after slamming it on the table. In fact, pain is the least important to me right now. What I’m feeling is so hard to explain that I could neither stop nor comprehend its intensity. I really need to stop this or worse, I don’t know what will happen to me, but how? How could I possibly stop this feeling?

 

“Simple Taengoo~ahh…. Just be true to- *hiccup* to yourself. Geeeee. *hiccup*”

 

I looked at my drunken companion incredulously. Seriously, how on earth does she know what I’m thinking?

 

“Ofcourse I know Taeng! *hiccup* I can see it all over your *hiccup* your face which screams ‘I’m so crazy with you’ *hiccup* hehehe…”

 

Omo~omo… My eyes widen to what Sunkyu had said. How did she know about this! God! What should I do now? Eottoke?

 

“Damn it! *hiccup* are you a pup or what? You go tell it now Taeng or else *hiccup* someone will *hiccup* someone like me, hahaha….” She looked at the bartender, “Com’on another glass!”

 

Ugh! Pardon my friend’s alcohol state and her creative words! But what the hell? How did she know?

 

“Sunkyu~ah…” I called her attention and pulled her close to me, I whispered  to her ears and said, “How the hell did you know about this~ya know~ about what I feel?”

 

“Tsk… tsk… tsk… *hiccup* I have keen eyes Taeng… Don’t underestimate my skill…”

 

I rolled my eyes at her, “Yeah, yeah, yeah, coz to refresh your mind Lee Sunkyu, the last time I rely on your so called ‘Keen eyes’, I got detention after class for letting you copy during the exam!”

 

“Pfft! Yah! That doesn’t count, this time I am sure that you, Kim Taengoo, are madly, deeply in love like crazy! Sp *hiccup* what are you waiting for, you damn girl go and tell Boa~unnie now or else, I’ll be the one to do it you coward! *hiccup*”

 

My eyes widen and I burst out laughing making everyone’s eyes nearby looked at me like I’m a drunken fool. Weew! That was one hell close to a great embarrassment!

 

“Hahaha… Sunkyu~ah you never failed to make me laugh! Aigoo! You almost got me with your soothsaying!”

 

“Yah! What are you laughing you midget! Ugh! This alcohol is really gross!” she faced the bartender, “heyya cutie, another glass baby…” but before she could take the glass held for her, I immediately took it from the bartender’s hand.

 

“Ah, Andwae!” the bartender tried to stop me, too late for I drank it with one gulp. I could feel the bitter taste running down my throat. Strangely though, the alcohol seems to take its effect on me.  Putting it on the bar, I stood and left with a sudden gush of courage from who knows where it came from.

 

“Uh-oh! That alcohol was strong and was supposed to be for your loud mouth friend, Aish! Babo!” I heard the bartender said but I just held my hand up high, acting like a cool chick.

 

“Yaaaaaaah! You babo Taengoo! I did not mean to tell you to get ‘my baby’ *pointing to the empty glass* what  I mean is to literally get ‘your baby’! Pfft! *hiccup* good luck to you and your fandom confession to Boa~unnie! *hiccup* wohooo!”

 

Who would have thought that that one single stupidity, one tiniest mistake would result to a total big chaos. I could remember what happen that night, it was like a shuttered clips from long forgotten rubbish.

 

The adrenaline I felt from the alcohol had led my feet towards my awaiting eye-smiling princess. As I made my way towards their table, my world seems to spin that I held on the nearest chair to stop the motion. I squinted my eyes to have a clearer view with my surroundings. Okay, what had just happen to me? Is this the effect of the alcohol? Aishdtfgrkdch! I forgot that it’s my first time to drink this kind of stuff. Just great, so damn great! Thanks to you Sunkyu and your oh-so-wonderful ‘baby’ that I think I could not make it tonight.

 

Ani~! That’s not going to happen, not to me and definitely not tonight! I must tell Pany! I shook off the negative feeling whispering in my head~ like an echo! I must proceed to my goal! I close my eyes again to clear my mind from the alcohol. And as I opened them, 4 pair of eyes looked back at me.

 

I realized…

 

I was already at the table of my princess and as I looked at the chair I thought I was holding on to balance myself, it was a matter-of-fact the shoulder of the douche-bag Siwon.

 

“Ooh… the kid-leader is here to join us.” His smug face smirking at me like a freaking maniac. Ugh! Shudd~up lover boy!

 

“Tae-tae, are you alright?”

 

I looked back at the source of the angelic voice who called me and found her eyes full of worries.

 

“P-pany~ah!” my voice now slurred and I felt groggy.

 

“Taengoo~ you drunk?”

 

I looked at the Ice princess and gave her my most charming wink, “You bet~ sica.”

 

She only managed to blush in response. That’s odd, usually the Great Ice princess would give back a stabbing remark. Shrugging the strange behaviour, I turned my attention to my eye smiling princess.

 

“Pany, pany, Tippany! *hiccup* Aigoo… hehehe.” What the, now I sound like Sunkyu. “Ehemmm, there’s *hiccup* something I want to tell you… *hiccup* I-…”

 

This is it.

 

“Tae-Tae?”

 

This is really it.

 

“I lo-“

“Yes?”

 

Comm’on Taeng, tell the 3 words and yadda~ yadda~ everything will be happily ever after.

 

“I- -“

 

“Com’on man, just say it already so we could enjoy out time here.”

 

I gave my glare daggers at Donghae who managed only to avoid my eyes and look everywhere except mine. Ugh! !  Can’t you see I’m tryin’ to and here you are interrupting me? Ehemm… so I’m saying…

 

“You see *hiccup* Pany~…” I my lips as it experienced a period of creative drought.

 

“Hmmm?” She looked at me with full of anticipation to what will come out from my mouth.

 

Ugh… why do I feel this sudden headache? And why does my surroundings seem spinning?

 

“Pany~, I lo-“

 

*Thud*

 

“Taeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!”

 

I wasn’t able to finish my word as my frail body slammed unto the hard, cold surface. Then everything was a total blackout.

 

 

 

 

Darkness…

 

 

 

 

Ever since my childhood years till now, I hate dark places, even if it’s a dim lit room. So whenever I went into one, I would always whine to Jiwoong oppa to accompany me. The latter would always fall for my aegyo and end up heeding to my childish request. Really, no one could resist the Aegyo Queen, Kim Taeyeon.

 

One day when Appa arrived home, he found me outside my room, crying and whaling into tears because the light in my room has stopped functioning. Instead of reprimanding me of my silly acts, even though how tired he was from a whole day work, Appa went to the store and bought a new one for my room. I know, it was a selfish act for me to do and be a burdensome to others.

 

Now, no matter what I do to run from darkness, it seems that it always find its way to me, engulfing and suffocating me till my last breath.

 

What then should I do? Now that Appa and Jiwoong oppa are no longer here beside me, what should I suppose to do now? Tell me, jibal..

 

“Taeyeon~ahh…”

 

Huh?

 

“Taeyeon...”

 

Tiff… is that you?

 

“Tae-Tae… wake up…”

 

Tiff! It is really you-

 

*Splash*

 

“Jessie!”

 

*cough**cough* I bolted out from my slumber as the coldness of water was splashed into my face, entering into my nostrils.

 

“What the hell did you do Jung Sooyeon?!” Tiffany’s angelic voice ring inside my head.

 

“What?” The Ice princess anwered nonchalantly. “I’m just trying to help Tiff.”

 

“Do you think splashing water to an unconscious person is what you called help?”

 

“Fine… geez… I was just helping, no need to get angry Stephanie Hwang Miyoung. Hmmpf… just a minute, I’ll be back.”

 

A loud sound of the door had closed, indicating that the Ice princess had left.

 

*cough* *cough*

 

“Uhnnggg…”

“Tae-Tae… com’on… wake up….” Her voice now sounded soft and concern.

 

“Unggg… *cough* *cough*” I held my head and squinted my eyes from the headache.

 

“Pany? *cough* *cough*

 

She smiled at me, her gaze unwavering as she wiped my wet face. I held her hand, stopping her action.

 

“What happened tiff?” I looked around my surroundings, then I realized I was lying on the floor with Tiffany’s lap as my pillow. There were cubicles and sink, so I assume that we’re at the lavatory.

 

“Mian~…” I heard her sigh, “It was Jessi’s fault, you were unconscious and she’s afraid that Oppa will know about your condition because of your absence at the party. So…” she chuckled a bit, “She got water and flashed it on your face, that’s why your face are drenched wet Taeng… Sorry really…” She said showing her infamous eye smile.

 

Seriously, how can someone get angry with this eye smiling princess?

 

I shook my head, “Ani, gwenchana Tiff, and besides without the help of Jessi, I would end up spending the night in this…” I looked around, showing my disgust face, “cozy place with you as my pillow…” I winked at her and we ended up laughing at our mischief.

 

Silence filled the room as our laugh died out, to prevent the awkward silence I began, “Hmmm, Pany~ah what happened back there?”

 

She put her finger on her chin, doing a thinking pose, ahh- cute, I should resist myself on kissing her right here and then.

 

“Hmmm, as far as I could remember, you passed out the moment you want to say something and Siwon oppa, being a gentleman, carried you.”

 

Gentleman my ! He just wants to someone’s ! I cringed at the thought of that Bastard carrying me. Ugh! Well, it’s better to be my than Pany’s!  I really need a looong bath when I got home.

 

“And Donghae almost called a rescue team to aide you, thankfully Jessi stopped him because if not Manager Oppa will find out that you’re drunk. So I told Siwon to carry you to a secluded area and this lavatory seems to get our qualifications.” She chuckled, showing again her eye smile, she continued, “So Jessi and I convinced Siwon and Donghae to leave matters to us and thankfully, they agreed. Few had noticed your loss of consciousness, so Jessi had gone there and make sure that everything is fine or else this news will get to Manager Oppa.”

 

“Ahh… Jinja?”  I scratched my head for the very embarrassing moment. “Hmmm… I don’t know what to say Tiff… Ugh!” I face-palmed, “I shouldn’t have drunk too much, I mean, ugh, I know what I did is wrong and I should have think twice before drinking those alcohol and saying sorry for what I’ve done on purpose is really hypocrite but… ugh! I’m really sorry Tiff, I’m sorry for being a burden to you… and to Jessi.” I bowed my head at her and avoided her eyes. This is really all wrong, I’m the leader and the eldest of them all, I should be the one to take care of them. Ugh! I felt so ashamed right now.

 

Then I felt her fingers my tresses, I looked at her with sorrowful eyes. But she held back, instead knocking her knuckles on my forehead.

 

“Babo! Everyone made mistakes Taeng and everyone learned from it. That’s why mistake is made for it has a purpose, it’s up to you if you will change it. And besides, it’s what parties are made for right? To drink and be merry! So don’t you ever blame yourself for it.” She smiled at me and held my hands.

 

“I-i…” She put her finger on my lips, silencing me to what I want to say.

 

“Hmmm… On a second thought, If you really insist that you’re sorry then I will forgive you in one condition…”

 

“Huh? Hmmm… ‘kay…” I scratched my head having no clue to this turn of event, “ Uhh- but please don’t you ever say ‘Truth or dare’!” I said with wide eyes horrified on the said game.

 

“Hahaha…” her husky voice filled the silent room, “Well you have just given me an idea!”

 

“Ugh! You know I always at that game, com’on Tiff!

 

“Hahaha… Arrasseo… Arrasseo… it’s not what is on my mind Tae-Tae, so relax…”

 

“Phew! That’s a relief…” I exasperated, letting out a huge sigh.

 

“Well, what I want is for you to tell me…” she paused.

 

“Uh huh… tell you what?” I asked agitated for her to continue.

 

“What you want to tell me earlier Taeng before you pass out!”

 

“H-huh? Excuse me?”

 

She nodded urging me to spill.

 

“What what?” I chuckled anxiously. “I- I don’t know what you’re talking about Tiff.” I slowly stood, holding to the sink to balance myself from syncope.

She looked at me *well scratched that* almost glaring for my incredulous response.

 

“Com’on, I really don’t know what you’re talking about Pany~ah… I mean… I- I don’t really remember if I said something like that earlier.”

 

*glare*

 

“A-ha-ha, ahh, maybe it’s the effect of alcohol that made me to say those meaningless words to you… ah yeah! Maybe that is! Aha-ha-ha…” I clumped my mouth shut as I saw her crescent eyes turning into demonic glares.

 

“Aish… com’on Tiff… I really don’t remember…” I watched her standing, her hands across her chest, and glaring daggers at me. I can only look at the floor, avoiding her scrutinizing eyes.

 

“Fine, I know when you are LYING KIM TAEYEON and that is when you avoid my gaze, clenching your fist crunching your nose!”

 

I touched my face and exclaimed, “No I’m not!”

 

“Ahah! And when you squeak your voice! I got you KIM TAEYEON!”

 

I clumped my mouth, “No I’m not… really Tiff…”

 

“Ugh! Fine… I think there’s nothing else to say to you Taengoo… goodbye.” She turned around and made a step towards the awaiting door… then I held her hand stopping her to make a further step out of this room, out of my life.

 

“Okay… I will tell you…” She turned her heels, facing me with a smirk.

 

“Okay, spill.”

 

I looked at her with pleading eyes, “I- I know, you’ll get angry about what I say, and I’m sure you’ll walk out from me after this. I have dreaded this day to come Tiffany but I will surely regret all my life if I would let this day passed without telling you about this.”

 

“Hey, why so serious?” She held my chin urging me to look straight at her eyes. She smiled showing her twinkling eyes like it’s going to be okay. I let out a sigh, I think it’s gonna be this time and in this place. I chuckled, way to go Kim Taeyeon, Such a great place for this perfect moment!

 

This is it.

 

I inhaled deeply.

“Stephanie Hwang Miyoung…”

 

“Yes?” She said expectantly.

 

I my lips.

 

“Stephanie…” I said nervously. Then I closed my eyes, not wanting to see Tiffany’s reaction for what I’m about to say.

 

“I LOVE YOU TIFFANY HWANG MIYOUNG!”

 

 

 

 

 

What had really happened that night? Did she reciprocate positively?

 

 

 

 

That night had long been gone and I had buried it 6 feet below the ground. I had no intention to bring it back again nor have it once in my dreams. That moment was supposed to be dead. Well I don’t know what really caused me to bring it back to my mind right now but such great story needs to be known right? So what are you waiting for, Let’s bring back to 10:40 pm *wink*….

 

 

 

 

“I LOVE YOU TIFFANY HWANG MIYOUNG!”

 

 

 

I don’t know what had got into my head, maybe because of the adrenaline rush I felt after my confession… or maybe the effect of the alcohol… or maybe it’s because I’m just too full of myself… that made me to do my most regretful stupidity in my life…

 

With those magical words that left my mouth and with my close eyes, I closed the distance that separated her with me and crushed my lips into hers.

 

 

 

 

*thud* the door banged open.

 

 

 

 

“Tiffany, Oppa is- huh? Kyaaaaah…”

 

 

 

 

And that night Jessica let out her first infamous Dolphin squeal.

 

 

 

 

That squeal was enough for me to be out of my trance and as I opened my eyes, the shock face of Tiffany came into my view. She pushed me so hard that made us break away from the kiss.

 

I looked at her and I stood broken… broken to see Tiffany’s tears because of me.

 

 I tried to explain to her about what I did but it seems there’s a big lump on my throat that stopped me to say a word.

 

I got close to her, just wanting to comfort her and to stop her from crying but she stepped away from my grasp.

 

I wanted to tell her that I did not mean to kiss her that way, but no words came out.

 

I looked at her, her tears pouring down and her shaking hands covering her lips. What have I done? I looked at my hands and I almost wanted to scream at myself.

 

She turned around.

 

Oh God… this is it… this is what I feared most, walking out from me and from my life. Andwae!

 

I stopped her by hugging her from behind but she harshly pulled away my hand and faced me.

 

“T-tiff… I- I –“

 

 

 

 

 

*slap*

 

 

 

 

“Don’t you dare touch me!” She hissed at me, like a snake ready to spit out venom.

 

I was stunned, never in my life that I heard her say to me like that. I watched her go away from this room, from me and from my life.

 

 I held my stinging cheek, the pain where she slapped me was nothing but the pain she caused inside my heart was unbearable.

 

I collapsed on the floor and the tears I tried to stop had poured down like a river flowing. Soon, I felt a hand my back.

 

“Let it out Taeng~” The unexpected voice of the Ice princess that others feared, now became a soothing sound to my ears.

 

With that, the loud cry I tried to stifle came out and for the first time, I looked like a child whaling in front of others that was solely for the eyes of my Appa and my brother.

 

 

 

 

Mistake.

 

 

 

 

 

Just one simple word yet it could cause madness into one’s life. I remember what she said to me that made me doubt this time, does mistake really has a purpose? Does it really heal a wounded heart by simply correcting it? Yes, everyone made mistake and everyone learned from it but does it really change what had happened? How I wished I could turn back time, back when she never hated me,  back when she never disgusted me, back when I never confessed her about what I feel. How pathetic isn’t it? Pathetic because only hopeless idiot would think that there’s a so called ‘Time Machine’ that would turn time and correct the mistake made.

 

“What took you so long?” Sunkyu’s drunken voice earlier, turned back to normal. Sica and I arrived late at the ground floor of SM ent. Building where all our members and Manager Oppa waited before heading back home.

 

“Omo, what happen to your eyes Taengoo~ why it is so red?” Sooyoung said with full of concern.

 

I hid behind Jessica’s back to cover my horrid face from the crying in the lavatory. Thankfully, Jessica, being feared most by the member, stopped Sooyoung’s prying concern.

 

“Okay guys…” Manager Oppa said, “Let’s all get inside the van.”

 

I slid inside first at the back seat  fearing that I would stumble to the person I am ashamed to look at. Jessica followed, sitting comfortably beside me while offering me an assuring smile. I just looked at her, though I wanted to tease the Ice Princess’ kindness, now is not the perfect time. I held her hand and squeeze it, just to let her know that I appreciated her kindness. She looked back at me, blushing for my small gestures.

 

“Oppa…” I heard Maknae said, “Where’s Tiffany~unnie?”

 

I looked at Manager Oppa upon the mention of her name.

 

“Oh, tiffany? She went home already; she said she’s not feeling well.” Manager Oppa said while sitting himself comfortably beside the driver’s seat.

 

Tiffany…

 

“And oh before we head home, Taengoo~ah…”

 

“Dae oppa?”

 

“You’re grounded.”

 

“Ahh, dae…” I said without interest. I felt Jessica’s hand holding mine and I just let out a sigh.

 

“Hahaha… Tsk… tsk… tsk… you should be careful next time Taengoo!” I heard Sunkyu’s mocking remark.

 

“And you too, Lee Sunkyu, you’re grounded!” Oppa sternly said.

 

“Wae????” Sunkyu whined.

 

“Don’t Wae- wae me, you brat! You think I did not saw the both of you shouting on the bar table huh?”

 

“Eh???”

 

“And besides, the bartender told me that it was you who made Taeyeon drunk. So I give you the credit as well coz you are the one who leads it all.” Oppa retorted making every other member laugh.

 

“Pfft!” Sunkyu pouted making Yuri who sat beside her cringe, “God Sunkyu! Don’t do that, your aegyo makes me want to vomit!”

 

The van was filled with laughter on the way home. I can only let out a sigh, remembering the tears I caused to the person I love. I closed my eyes, I can only wished that all the thing that happened was just a dream so that if I open my eyes, everything will be back to its usual… the usual where I get to see those eye smile every day. Sadly, as I open my eyes, it hit me like a sudden blow on the pit of my stomach; Reality is just so horrifyingly a nightmare to my biggest and wildest existence.

 

 

 

 

I have never told anyone of this story, nor has anyone heard about it. Yet some have become witnesses to my ill-fated fate and had remained unspoken to this event. So with this conviction of my heart, I have determined to write down the story of the interesting periods of my life. I cannot explain the phenomena; I can only set down here the happening of being an ordinary woman locked inside a forbidden love a chronicle of hurtful events that befell me after the big mistake that my life had bound.

 

My name is KIM TAEYEON and this is the story of my unfortunate events, The Chronicles of my broken heart.

 

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