[CONTENTID1]Chapter 30: This doesn't feel like falling [/CONTENTID1]

[CONTENTID2]Soundtrack:  "Halo" - Beyoncé

[/CONTENTID2][CONTENTID3]

“Baby I can feel your halo

Pray it won't fade away”

Nam Soon didn’t wait a day to start his search for an apartment. He needed to find a new place so he could finally have the freedom he and Heung Soo needed so much. They were hanging around different places to search for the perfect one during the entire week after class. Well, the perfect one that Nam Soon could afford - which wasn’t really that much.

However their search wasn’t giving them much result, especially considering the fact that Nam Soon didn’t have much free time because of his part-time job. But Heung Soo was trying his best to help by searching online and in newspapers. From the point of view of an outsider, they would assume he wanted Nam Soon to leave. Yet the truth was that Heung Soo hadn’t changed his mind about all of this, but since it was Nam Soon’s wish he was doing his best to help.

Joo Mi was still the same, if not worse, but he also didn’t want to think about it and about the fact that when they stayed silent for much time inside his room - even if the door was open she would take a peek inside the room to apparently check if everything was okay.

Nam Soon knew she was checking if they were doing anything wrong - in her standards - but it was better to leave it like that. He didn’t want to spend the few amount of time they had alone thinking about this.

About the incident in the bathroom... Nam Soon wanted to say it didn’t happen again. Well, it didn’t happen to that extent but they indeed kissed at the rooftop once - probably a little bit more than kissing but it didn’t involve hands anywhere inside their pants. That being said, it meant they hadn’t touched each other since that day - 10 days, Heung Soo had been counting. It shouldn’t be considered much. It shouldn’t, If you weren’t a 20 year old boy - even if Nam Soon tried to deny that he was feeling it as much as Heung Soo. Perhaps the fact that they couldn’t do it made them even more anxious. However, after that day, they had been thinking about the risk of what they did and somehow it made them less brave. At least, less brave to do it again.

It was not even just about the part of it. At home they couldn’t even kiss if they didn’t want to risk Joo Mi finding out something. They couldn’t do it outside either. What this meant was that Nam Soon needed to find a place for himself soon if he wanted to be alone with Heung Soo, have him in his arms and hold him tight without needing to worry about someone finding out.

It would be awkward to admit, but Nam Soon had been spending long times at the bathroom the last few days. And he could say that picture Heung Soo sent him before was being a whole lot helpful. He didn’t even think about telling this to Heung Soo though - not because he would be embarrassed about it, he just didn’t want Heung Soo to be bragging about it. 

“It's like I've been awakened

Every rule I had you breaking

It's the risk that I'm taking

I ain't never gonna shut you out”

Nam Soon was resting during class in his habitual position - head over his hands while he faced the wall, eyes closed as he tried to fall asleep during Teacher Jung’s boring class.

He felt a vibration on his phone, making him tumble down as he took it out of his pockets. He just hoped it wasn’t Heung Soo thinking about a second round at the bathroom. Well at least he pretended he was really hoping so.

“Let’s hang out,” Heung Soo wrote him. Nam Soon stared at him and noticed he had a wide grin on his face, and then looked back to his phone, where he wrote back.

“What do you mean?” Nam Soon wrote. What did he mean by hang out? It’s not like they had all the time in the world to just hang out like that during the week.

“Skip class, go somewhere. Have fun,” Heung Soo explained, looking a bit annoyed with the fact that Nam Soon didn’t understand.

“Where? We don’t have anywhere to go,” Nam Soon answered, being just a bit overdramatic. He didn’t really care, because it did sound like a good idea.

“We’ll think about it later,” Heung Soo wrote and Nam Soon smiled with the corner of his lips, staring at him. He didn’t need to answer.

After this class they managed to leave by jumping the gates and hoping that no one had spotted them. Heung Soo accepted Nam Soon’s help to jump it down this time - he didn’t see it as a problem anymore. Neither of them.

“You think someone noticed that we left?” Nam Soon asked, slowly looking back as they walked opposite of the gates.

“Who cares,” Heung Soo laughed, putting his hands over Nam Soon’s shoulders, and Nam Soon limited himself to a simple smile.

They wouldn’t have noticed the group of boys that were approaching them, if they hadn’t blocked their way.

It was Chong Ki and his two friends. They didn’t stop with the bully at school, but it was so irrelevant now that neither of them felt at least a bit affect by it. Since he limited himself to bad eyes and curses, they couldn’t be less annoyed.

They just had other things more important to worry about. However they knew when someone came to look for a fight. And now they knew that was what was going to happen.

“Look, the two ers skipping class?” Choong Ki cursed, looking from one to another.

“Just move, we don’t have time for you,” Heung Soo blasted out while Nam Soon stared intensely at him.

“Are you two out to ?” He growled forcing out a disgusted face that was followed by loud fake sounds as if they were throwing up, coming from both of the other guys.

“Why? Are you jealous?” Nam Soon smirked, and the smile was instantly off from Choong Ki’s face, who raised his hands to hit Nam Soon but Heung Soo grabbed his wrist midway with no hint of grinning on his face this time - only his scary and serious expression. If he touched Nam Soon he would kill him for sure.

“Don’t you ing touch him,” Heung Soo hissed as Choong Ki tried to get his hand away, but miserably failed. Heung Soo was holding it too tight.

“Yah yah, let go,” one of the boys shouted, and Heung Soo pulled his wrist away, but without looking the other way. He felt as Nam Soon touched his right arm trying to make him go away, but Heung Soo didn’t move.

“Let’s go,” the other boy blasted, pushing Choong Ki away. He moved then, one step at a time, without getting his eyes away from Heung Soo’s back, until they passed through the corner, losing sight of them.

“I wonder if they will stop until the year end,” Nam Soon sighed annoyed. They were not bothered as much as in the beginning, but it never really stopped. They guessed it was less because they didn’t meet outside of school and probably because he was scared since the last time when he got hit. But he was probably not scared enough to truly stop his antics.

“He won’t,” Heung Soo guaranteed. “But I don’t mind, I will not waste my time with that.”

Nam Soon limited himself to shake his head. He also didn’t want to waste time talking about him. It was not worth it.

“So, where are we going?” Nam Soon asked and Heung Soo gently slid his hand into Nam Soon’s. He didn’t care if someone saw them anymore. It wasn’t like they were kissing or anything of that sort.

“Let’s eat some ramen first, we decide later,” Heung Soo smiled.

“Remember those walls I built

Well baby they're tumbling down

And they didn't even put up a fight

They didn't even make a sound”

The scent of hot pepper when they entered the place was mouthwatering to both as soon as they opened the door. They didn’t know if it was indeed better than before or if it was because they hadn’t gone in a while. It was close to Nam Soon’s old home, so they ended up avoiding it. However it was still the best ramen they ate there - except for Heung Soo’s ramen, according to Nam Soon. Heung Soo’s was the best than that of any restaurant. But it was good eating out once in a while, especially when eating it at home meant they would have to act more distant so that Joo Mi wouldn’t be even more suspicious.

Nam Soon went straight to their usual place, but Heung Soo stopped on his pace once they got close to the door, and picked up a card from it, heading to Nam Soon’s side right after. The younger boy looked curiously at him, waiting for an explanation, and Heung Soo soon showed him.

They were hiring waiters. The work shift was 2 P.M. to 6 P.M. or 7 P.M. to 11 P.M. The second one was perfect for him. He could stay later at class when needed and still be in time for work. The only bad thing was that they would have less time to be together during the night. But he indeed needed a job, and working at a ramen place could be a really good experience considering that they planned to open their own ramen restaurant in the future.

“It’s great,” Nam Soon smiled as Heung Soo kept it save in his pockets. He would surely call as soon as possible. 

“I found a way to let you in

But I never really had a doubt

Standing in the light of your halo

I got my angel now”

The days went just like that. They couldn’t keep skipping so many classes so they managed to enjoy discreetly the moments they had. It was momentary, they knew it. Just until Nam Soon found his place. They would manage to overcome it. At least, even with everything, they still could see each other a lot.

It was Sunday afternoon and they were sitting at Heung Soo’s bedroom reading some mangas. Joo Mi was sleeping at the couch with some movie playing on the television.

They knew she was sleeping but they also knew she could wake up any time, so they did not risk anything that would put them in a hard situation later if she were to wake up. Nam Soon was almost closing a contract with an apartment relatively close to Heung Soo’s home, unfortunately not enough to be okay to go walking but it would take only few minutes by bus.

So they could wait a bit more.

Heung Soo risked putting his arms around Nam Soon’s shoulders, and Nam Soon leaned against him, a smile on his face, his breath slow as he was enjoying his proximity, the delicious scent of cologne and his neck so close to his face. Heung Soo was chuckling lightly sometimes as he read and his chest would run up and down, brushing against Nam Soon.

He enjoyed this warmth. It was relaxing, calm, gentle, and made him want to keep him like that forever.

“Everywhere I'm looking now

I'm surrounded by your embrace”

Joo Mi woke up suddenly and she realize how much time had passed since she fallen asleep, but probably a lot since the movie she was previously watching had already ended. After some seconds she suddenly stood up, noticing that there were no sounds coming from her brother’s room, and that was strange.

She headed to the door without thinking a second time about it. She didn’t think about what she could see. She just jerked the door open. And, when she looked inside the room, she felt her body shuddering.

They were both sitting over Heung Soo’s bed, leaning against the wall. They were both sleeping, however Nam Soon had his head resting on her brother’s shoulders, while the other was holding him tight with his left arms around his waist, his head falling a little over his.

Her heart skipped a beat. She gave one step forward but went backwards again, turning around.

She didn’t want to see it. She didn’t want to deal with whatever there was to deal with. Nam Soon would be moving soon anyway and after that things would go back to normal. She would make sure of that. 

“Hit me like a ray of sun

Burning through my darkest night”

It was another cold day and the frozen wind crossed both their faces as they walked side by side. Nam Soon was carrying his two bags, while Heung Soo helped carrying a big box on his hands - on these few months he had been living with Heung Soo he managed to buy some new stuff and clothes, hence the reason why his bag was bigger than when he moved in.

They walked with some difficulty through the small but long hall of stairs to the apartment. It was an old building with no elevator, and he would be moving to the fifth floor. Which meant it was a considerable amount of stairs to go up with all his belongings.

Heung Soo dropped the box at the ground, and Nam Soon followed along, unlocking the door in front of him.

It was a small apartment with a laminate flooring in low beige, an old table was placed at the center close to the ground, and some cabinets with a sink at the corner. There even was a small bedroom at the side of the room, and a bedroom small enough for one single bed and one closet.

“It’s not that bad,” Heung Soo commented as they dropped Nam Soon’s boxes to the ground and closed the door.

“Considering the price, I think I got lucky,” Nam Soon said, taking out his jacket now that they were at a warmer place. At least the heating system at the building worked just fine.

“I think it will start to snow soon. You should leave before it starts,” Nam Soon said, looking through the glass window. Heung Soo, who was now placing some of the food that he brought in the box in the small fridge, just laughed with the corner of his mouth.

“Are you telling me to leave?” Heung Soo laughed, taking a bottle of water and taking long gulps before handing it to Nam Soon.

“Finally,” Nam Soon smirked, glancing at the boy in front. “Finally, we can be alone.”

“Noona will be disappointed,” Heung Soo laughed, grabbing the elastic on Nam Soon’s pants and bringing him close, in a harvest, deep and rough kiss that they missed so much.

Heung Soo had decided he would talk to her early this week. He didn’t talk to Nam Soon because he was worried that he would try to convince him otherwise. He would talk to him later. Now that Nam Soon had his place this was business between him and his sister. Joo Mi was his only family and he was definitely tired of hiding.

He couldn’t hide it forever. He knew Nam Soon would be the person he would grow old with. He knew it and he had to know if he would have his sister support. He didn’t want to think much about the consequences and he knew that talking to Nam Soon about it would made him think what he kept avoiding.

“You're the only one that I want

Think I'm addicted to your light”

Heung Soo couldn’t sleep well that night. He didn’t plan when, but he felt like the day he would have the conversation with Joo Mi was soon and he was probably too anxious to sleep. Nam Soon moved slowly in his arms, his chest brushing on Heung Soo’s arms and a slow breath leaving his still swollen lips. Nam Soon was probably having a calm sleep, and Heung Soo was happy for it.

He watched as the boy’s chest ran up and down, his mouth half opened and his hair still messy from the rough night. Heung Soo planted a light kiss on his forehead and closed his eyes trying to go back to sleep. He knew it was a lost night for him, but at least he had Nam Soon by his side.

“Baby I can see your halo

You know you're my saving grace

You're everything I need and more

It's written all over your face”

When Heung Soo arrived home after school on the next day Joo Mi was already waiting by the couch and she turned to stare at him when he closed the door. For some reason he felt his spine shuddering, and his stomach making too much noise. He didn’t plan to talk specifically today so why did he feel like he was about to? Well he should have expected it since he was feeling anxious since last night. He kind of knew it was already going to be today.

“Where were you?” She asked with a colder tone in her voice, which Heung Soo decided not to pay much attention.

“I was with Nam Soon,” Heung Soo explained, telling the truth and hanging his jacket at the hanger on the side of the door.

Joo Mi sighed sarcastically, looking away and then back at him, demonstrating how annoyed she was about all of this.

“Are you going to live with him now?” She asked with a stern voice, demonstrating how unpleasant she felt. She forgot how they were like before Nam Soon moved in. Now she didn’t want to think about him sleeping at his place. That wasn’t right. “Can’t you see this is too much? You two... What will you do when Nam Soon finds a girlfriend?” She asked but not really waiting for his answer. Heung Soo bit his lips and held his breath.

If he didn’t talk now he was afraid he wouldn’t have the courage later. He had to tell her now.

Without thinking about the consequences, he finally said what was stuck in his throat since a long time. Since years ago. Since Nam Soon first left him, and his mother died, and he had no one else to talk about it. Since he first realized something was wrong with him. Since he found Nam Soon again and they started dating. Since their love became real.

“That will not happen,” Heung Soo said, a tone of certainty in his voice and one anxious expression like he was waiting for something that didn’t come.

Joo Mi held her breath, staring everywhere but him. She didn’t want to listen. So why couldn’t she turn around? She thought about doing so but Heung Soo was faster.

“I love him,” Heung Soo whispered and he knew she heard him. He knew she was listening even though she wasn’t looking at him. “We are dating. Since a long time now.”

Joo Mi stared blank at him for a moment and slowly blinked her eyes. Heung Soo stayed quiet, holding his breath and waiting for her reaction - one that wasn’t coming.

“You…” She whispered, the fear and hesitancy in her words. She didn’t want to mention it or to hear it. But she still asked. “Are you telling me that you are gay?”

Heung Soo blinked, staring at the ground and then back at her again. It’s not that. It was not because Nam Soon was a boy. Heung Soo had been with girls before. It was never about being gay.

“It’s not a gender thing,” He explained it. Heung Soo didn’t want to have the conversation to make her accept the fact that he was gay - or bi. It didn’t matter. It didn’t matter, because Heung Soo didn’t have any plans of having any other boy or girl in his life. Heung Soo needed her to accept his relationship with Nam Soon. If being with Nam Soon would make him gay, then so be it, but that was not the issue. Nam Soon’s gender didn’t matter. It was just him. It was ever, only him. “For me, there’s just him. So… I’m telling you that I love him. That’s what I needed you to know. It won’t be anyone else.”

Joo Mi shuddered and then shook her head slowly in denial, an expression that showed she must be hearing things. She didn’t want to hear those things. It didn’t make sense. Her brother didn’t have interest in boys, her brother wouldn’t fall for a guy, he was not like that.

“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” she said, standing up and giving him her back. Heung Soo didn’t expect that answer. He didn’t know what he expected, but this wasn’t it. She thought he was joking?

He reached forward, touching her arms to avoid her to leave but she brushed his hands away, staring at him. He didn’t know what to think of her expression but she certainly didn’t look happy.

“Noona, we need to talk about it,” he whispered, hoping she would listen, that she would react.

“There is nothing to talk. You’ve been through a lot, you are confused,” she said, her eyes staring everywhere but him. “You just need some time. It will pass,” she whispered, giving her back again and slowly returning to her room.

“It’s not a phase, Noona,” Heung Soo said, walking behind her. But Joo Mi didn’t look back and entered her room, closing the door between them.

She wouldn’t listen to any more of this. It was all that boy’s fault. She knew he would end up ruining her brother’s life again. She knew it was too much.

Heung Soo was not like that, her brother couldn’t be like that. 

“I swore I'd never fall again

But this don't even feel like falling

Gravity can't forget

To pull me back to the ground again”

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[CONTENTID4]

(UPDATE 2015/01 : Chapter last edited and revised on this current date)

"Our New Fate" 

And Thanks for Yoselin (tumblr: stormpiece.tumblr.com ) for reviewing the chapter for me again!  and for anaapenas, that always read the chapters first and tell me when I should change something ^^ And for everyone that follows and comment here! ^^

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