[CONTENTID1]Chapter 2: All the pain and scars have left you cold[/CONTENTID1]

[CONTENTID2]Soundtrack: Ashes Remain - Right Here | Progress In Color - It's A Plague (lyrics in italic along the chapter)

[/CONTENTID2][CONTENTID3]

“I can see every tear you've cried
Like an ocean in your eyes
All the pain and the scars have left you cold”

After three years, those moments they spent together were now just memories. Memories that kept Nam Soon able to stand and continue living, in the hope that one day he would be able to see his friend again. Even after all those years, he could never forget Heung Soo’s expression at the moment he broke his leg. And that has haunted him every night and every moment of his days.

All that made Nam Soon change - he was not that warm and happy boy he once had been. Now he was cold, hardly spoke, and looked completely emotionless. He didn’t need those feelings anymore – not without Heung Soo.

But that was until the day he heard that familiar husky voice again.

“I’m Park Heung Soo,” said the new kid transferred to his class. “I hope you’ll take good care of me.”

At the moment Nam Soon looked up from his desk, his heart stopped. Right in front of the blackboard stood the person that he couldn’t forget for all those past years.

When their eyes met, he could sense all those old emotions coming back like a storm and everything was not a memory anymore.

Took him long enough to realize that teacher Kang had already ended the class.

“Class President?” he asked, waiting for Nam Soon’s response. “That’s all,” he repeated, and Nam Soon finally stood up, trying to keep his voice steady.

“Attention… Bow…”

That was enough to get Heung Soo’s attention. He left a mocking smile appear at his face like he had just seen a big joke. Nam Soon was the class president?

It seems that he’s been living really well without him.

“I can see all the fears you face
Through a storm that never goes away
Don't believe all the lies that you've been told”

Even after all those three years Heung Soo could never forget. Even though he tried, Nam Soon was always there - haunting his dreams and memories. He tried to find someone else, someone that would replace that empty hole in his heart. But he was never able to find it.

Although he had promised himself he would not cry anymore, sometimes he would find himself thinking about those times and the tears would involuntarily appear in his eyes. And after finding himself in the same class as Nam Soon, he couldn’t control his emotions. He was hurt and he could not forgive Nam Soon, even though he could perceive every movement the other was making in order to ask for forgiveness.

And even though he knew he couldn’t forget him, he still closed the door after hearing those words coming out from Nam Soon’s mouth.

“Heung Soo… I’m sorry.”

Because he couldn’t believe in those words. Not after seeing how well Nam Soon has been living without him, while he had been alone all those years. Not after seeing Nam Soon with a lot of friends. Was it jealousy? Was it envy? Or was it the resentment that Nam Soon wasn’t suffering just like him all those years they’ve been apart? Why was him - the one who crushed his dreams – able to live well, while Heung Soo couldn’t live anymore?

He could not tell, but all he knew was that he felt totally broken after witnessing those two together. Apparently, in those three years that he couldn’t forget him, Nam Soon even got himself a girlfriend.

“I'll show you how to live again
And heal the brokenness within”

Even after weeks had passed, Heung Soo could not forget the moment when he saw Nam Soon talking alone in class with Ha Kyung. He didn’t know the right reason for him to be feeling this way - one empty sensation in his heart after realizing that he was happy with that girl didn’t pass. Nam Soon had already replaced him and Heung Soo could not ignore it - even though he was trying so hard to hate the boy.

He was standing alone at the rooftop when he heard some steps approaching him. For the sound of them he knew it was Nam Soon. He turned to face him, glancing at those eyes that no longer were the ones that he remembered. Every time he looked at him he maintained that same sad expression - like he wished Heung Soo could see right through it.

But that only made him anger. Did Nam Soon pity him now? He rushed at him, grabbing at his shirt.

“Will you please stop pretending to be nice and that you’re sorry? Because even with your act it doesn’t change anything.”

It doesn’t change the fact that he left him in the moment that he needed him the most. It doesn’t change the fact that Heung Soo was the only one that could not forget.

“Just leave, you ,” Heung Soo said, letting him go and passing right through him. However when he was getting close to the door he heard Nam Soon’s whisper.

“Heung Soo-ya…”

This time he didn’t turn over to face the other.

“More than just new friends, apparently you got yourself a girlfriend too? Song Ha Kyung, the vice-president of the class? The new Nam Soon is doing fine.”

“What? Ha Kyung? She’s not my girlfriend,” Nam Soon answered immediately. Why would he think that? For some reason he was okay if Heung Soo hated him because of what he did. He deserved it and much more. But he didn’t want him to think wrong things about him.

Heung Soo left a sarcastic laugh run throw his lips. He couldn’t make himself believe in anything he said.

“What was hidden behind your smile
Was it love? Or pain in disguise?”

“We are just friends,” Nam Soon explained, but that didn’t turn things better - not at all.

“Right… Just friends…” He murmured. Those two words took Heung Soo back to three years ago, when Nam Soon used it to describe their relationship. But now he talked like that wasn’t a big thing. It hurt him and he felt his eyes starting to brim with tears while he remembered that moment they shared together.

But Nam Soon seemed to have already forgotten.

“I know my love never took that away
I know my love was just a plague”

“Why are you compensating?!” Nam Soon asked, grumbling about what just happened. Heung Soo tagged along with a bothered expression.

“So why did you break the glass then?” Heung Soo mumbled.

“I told them that I didn’t steal it, but they kept claiming that I’m a thief!” Nam Soon shouted angrily. “And how come you’re my older brother?!”

“I cleaned up your mess and paid for the glass too. And I was born earlier than you were. So how can I not be your older brother? Go on and humbly thank me,” Heung Soo left the annoyed face and turned it into a mocking one. “Like…” He bowed, laughing “‘…thank you, hyung,” he said, standing up and facing Nam Soon, waiting for his response. The other nodded and mimicked him, bowing.

“Thank you, hyung.”

That caught a bright smile from Heung Soo that patted Nam Soon’s hair while he faced him with a cute smile.

“That’s right, little bro,” he said, Nam Soon’s bangs.

“You thought I would do that?” the younger boy suddenly showed a mischievous smile and Heung Soo didn’t have the time to answer before receiving a painful punch in the stomach.

“You must be joking!” Nam Soon said, laughing and running ahead. Heung Soo took a few steps back pretending he had been hurt. That made the other stop and return to see if he was alright.

“Hey, are you okay? Are you okay?”

Heung Soo seized that moment to strike him, cursing between his laugh.

“You’re dead!” He screamed while they ran together still giggling loud. “Yah!!”

After some minutes they stopped at the little comic book store where they always spent their free afternoons at to read some manhwas.

The old owner of the place grabbed Heung Soo’s shoulder as soon as they entered the store.

“Hey kid, tell your brother to put the manhwas in the right place before you leave, last time he left all of them lying on the ground! Is this his house?” he complained, letting him go. “Kids these days have no manners.”

“He is not my brother!” Nam Soon stood in front, talking harshly. “We’re just friends!”

Heung Soo grabbed Nam Soon’s arm, nodding apologetic to the owner and left to a small room at the back of the store. He brought a good amount of manhwas to read and sat at the corner, leaning against the shelf at the bottom of the room.

“Why do you hate so much the idea of being my brother?” Heung Soo asked while he read one manhwa about soccer.

“People think that we are brothers because we are always together, but I don’t like to let them believe that,” he answered, facing Heung Soo that stared back at him with an inquiring expression on his face.

“But what’s wrong with that?”

Nam Soon let go of the annoyed look. “We are always together because we are friends, not because we happened to be born in the same family. We are not brothers, just friends, because I chose you.” After saying that he made the cutest smile he could, turning his face a little to the side without taking his eyes away from Heung Soo.

“And I chose you, you bastard,” Heung Soo replied, showing a bright smile on his face while he patted Nam Soon’s hair.

They spent the whole afternoon there, laughing, talking and trying to spoil each other readings for fun. It was already dark outside when Heung Soo yawned, feeling his back aching. He glanced at Nam Soon by his side and noticed that he had fallen asleep and looked really comfortable with his mouth a little opened, breathing slowly. There was a small smile appearing at the corner of his lips. He must be having a good dream.

His hair was slightly covering up his eyes and Heung Soo stood close, gently putting it behind his ears. But he didn’t pull back and remained touching at the side of his face. He looked really happy when Heung Soo told him about going to Seoul. He knew Nam Soon was proud of him and Heung Soo was glad, but at the same time he had this feeling that his friend was not being honest with him.

“Nam Soon-ah,” he mumbled without taking his fingers away from his soft skin. “Will you be okay without me?”

His heart skipped a beat when a single tear started forming at Nam Soon’s eyes, dripping through his cheeks. “Is this my fault?” he thought, wiping it with his thumb. “I’m sorry,” he murmured, feeling his own eyes starting to get teary. He didn’t even realize how close he was when the boy’s eyes opened - blinking after noticing the short distance they stood from each other.

“Heung Soo-ya,” Nam Soon whispered in a hoarse voice, without breaking the eye contact. After some seconds that took for Heung Soo to realize the odd situation they were, he pulled back, clearing his throat and biting his lower lip.

“I guess we should go home,” he said and Nam Soon nodded without saying anything else.

“So where am I wrong, in hoping that I might someday realize where I was all along?
And what, what was hidden behind your eyes?
Was it love, or pain in disguise?”

Everytime Heung Soo shouted at him, everytime he accused him and everytime he looked at him with those bitter eyes, Nam Soon told himself that at least he had one last chance to beg for forgiveness, one last chance to let Heung Soo do what he should have done three years ago. And he didn’t mind of being yelled at, if he got hit or if he got hurt. At least, he thought, he was not being ignored. That meant that he still had a place in Heung Soo’s memory. That he was once important to him to the point where he wasn’t forgotten.

And he wasn’t going to let this chance pass by. Even if he didn’t get his forgiveness, at least he had to make sure that Heung Soo was okay - that he was happy. But this was not the case right now so he couldn’t let him go. Not like this.

He followed him soon after he left the class during the exams. If Heung Soo was going to get himself almost expelled again, he had to do something about it.

Heung Soo entered the storage room and Nam Soon found him grabbing a cigarette, just about to light it up. He closed the door behind them and stared at him.

“Are you not going to take the rest of the exam?”

Heung Soo faced him back, annoyed.

“What is it to you?” He grumbled, lightening the cigarette.

Nam Soon could hear some steps coming close to them and quickly grabbed his wrist, forcing them inside the closet right behind Heung Soo. It was a really small space, probably used to storage brooms. Heung Soo almost couldn’t fit alone in it, worst even with Nam Soon.

Their bodies were so close together that Heung Soo could smell the soap from Nam Soon’s skin. His face stood right next to his collarbone and he could feel his breath running slowly at his neck, making him shiver. His chest was completely stuck to the other to the point where he could feel his slim body all over his. He tried to back him away, but Nam Soon just made an annoyed expression and kept his body even closer to his - more than he though was possible as his hand uncomfortably touched at Nam Soon’s slim waist.

He felt his heart racing because of the proximity, his body starting to tense as the heat became almost intolerable. He held his breath when he realized that he was starting to get hard - he shouldn’t be feeling like this, and even worst if Nam Soon noticed it. He would feel disgusted.

But being that close to Nam Soon’s body was making him insane to the point where he couldn’t stand it anymore.

He took a deep breath when he heard the door from the room being closed and slammed the closet open with Nam Soon following him right behind.

“Skipping the exam and smoking… If you get caught again, don’t you realize you’ll get kicked out?” Nam Soon came back to the previous subject like nothing had happened. “You’ll be forced to transfer again without being given another chance.”

Heung Soon made and annoyed expression, turning his back to him and headed for the door, just to find it locked. He banged it trying to open it, but apparently someone just passed a padlock through it.

He sighed, turning back to face Nam Soon.

“Hey… Call one of your friends.”

Nam Soon looked for his cell phone, but soon realized he didn’t have it - they gave their cellphones because of the exam, so it stayed in the classroom. Heung Soo rolled his eyes after realizing it.

“Great,” Heung Soo mumbled. Now he was locked in the storage room with Nam Soon - as if being looked in that small closet with him wasn’t enough. He could still feel his slim body touching him as his own was still hot because of the proximity they just shared.

He took a deep breath since there’s nothing else he could do about it.

“With everyday I pray you'd say I brought you joy in some way.
But that's not the case, cause I took it away, I turned your joy into pain.”

He didn’t know why he did it. He promised himself to let go, that he would never be able to be friends with him again. That what happened between him and Nam Soon was over three years ago. However, even after all these years, those moments they spent together were still vivid in his mind. Even though he tried so hard to forget him, he couldn’t. And if he couldn’t forget, didn’t it mean that things between them haven’t yet come to an end? Perhaps, just perhaps, it was not their fate to end like that. So, when Heung Soo heard that Nam Soon would have to transfer because of him, he ended up opening that door - that door back to their long lost friendship.

“Go Nam Soon…” He mumbled, trying to find the words that were buried in his heart for too long, “…has no reason to transfer,” Nam Soon was staring at him with a confused expression. “I’m not the victim. Go Nam Soon is not the assailant,” he tried not to stare at Nam Soon’s red eyes because he knew that if he did it he wouldn’t be able to complete the sentence.

“We’re just…” It took him some time to continue it, his heart skipping a bit and his throat beginning to dry. “Friends, really unlucky ones, and right now...” He could feel that his eyes were about to get teary but he managed to finish it. “…We’re in the process of making up.”

“When day break seems so far away
Reach for my hand”

And then he was able to breathe again, feeling a big weight lifted off his shoulders - a weight that had been there for too long.

Nam Soon couldn’t stop the tears from dripping down his cheeks. He had to control himself to not start sobbing right in front of his teacher. He was so happy and glad that he could scream. The last thing he expected were those words coming out from Heung Soo’s mouth.

He had his friend back. He had his life back, and was finally able to breathe again.

“When the rain falls I won't let go
I'll be right here.”

[/CONTENTID3]

[CONTENTID4]

(UPDATE 2014/11 : Chapter last edited and revised on this current date)

I need to thank you all for the comments! I really apreciate it ^_^ I hope you like the second chapter, and I would like to say thanks to "anaapenas" and "yue" because they helped me a lot in this chapter againg, so thanks girls!! :D

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