It's funny, really.

If you think about it I've been rejected way before I even confess. But that's not the funniest part, in just a snap of a finger I lost two of my closest friend and I'm here at a cottilion lost in my own thoughts.

My head was full.

I remember the first day we met

I remember his eyes, a bit unsure of what he should do

I remember how we used to fight

how he would apologize to me by offering any sweets he would manage to find

how he awkwardly watch romantic films with me

how he yawn after five minutes of it running

I remember how he stayed with me when my father died

how we laugh it off so hard the tears came bursting out.

I remember.

The memories went fast in my mind, as if testing me on how much I could handle. 

"Are you sure you're okay?" Kyuhyun asked once again. But this time I didn't bother to lie, I didn't bother to say anything at all. I'm not okay, I'm far from it. The person I've liked and still likes for a decade now just turned me down. He wrote off. I've lost him now. Those were the facts. In my head, I was imagining him regretting his decision. But who am I to him anyway? My value as a friend is clearly not much than that of his girlfriend. 

I looked at Kyuhyun whom I've been ignoring for the past few hours now. We've been sitting here when everyone's dancing and chatting and having a great time. And for the first time in a long time, I hated myself. For being unfair, inconsiderate and insensitive.

I looked around but all my friends are nowhere in sight. I don't remember getting here, I was too preoccupied with my own dillema that I haven't even noticed them being gone.

So I took a deep breath.

"Let's go" I told him and as we leave the party, as we walked out that door, I realized this time it was me dragging him around.

At the corner of my eyes, I saw them, the two of them having a talk outside, just by the door.

But I didn't stop walking. I didn't stop to interfere or asked them why they needed to throw me out.

In the corner of my eyes, I saw them

And this time I'm letting them go...