Dara’s POV

“Love.”

Whenever I hear of that word, all I could do is think about him – the guy that I loved. He’s the one that I kept on thinking every night. It was when I met him that I understood the meaning of love. It was also when I met him that I understood why heartbroken people cried and why they stay away from everyone when their hearts shattered. It was when I met him that I understood what life was all about.

It was spring time when I first saw him in the Supermarket shopping for groceries. He was in the pastry isle and I was across him in the pasta isle. He was wearing a faded jeans and a white shirt with a pair of black and white sneakers. On his right hand was a condensed milk and on the other hand is an evaporated milk. As I was cautiously watching him, I can see him furrowed his eye brows as he chose one from the other. He loves baking pastries, for sure. I headed to his isle and stopped short near him. I intended on helping him choose the best since I am a culinary student.

I engaged a talk with him and was able to find out that he just ran an errand for his younger sister. I helped him out on the right ingredient and went back on the pasta isle. I was thinking of cooking spaghetti for myself this dinner. I went to the counter to wrap up my things.

“Hey” a voice behind me said.

I tilted my head and was welcomed by his smiling face. “Oh hey!” I smiled cheekily.

“Thank you for helping me out. I’m sure my sister will kill me if I choose the wrong one” he chuckled.

I laughed. “It’s my pleasure to help a confused and lost guy in the pastry isle.”

The lady behind the counter gives me my things and my credit card back.

“See you soon” I waved shortly at him and walked off. I waited outside the supermarket for a vacant cab. It was raining and I didn’t bring my umbrella with me. What a luck!

The rain haven’t stop and there’s no cab coming on me. I fished out my earphone and picked an upbeat song in my phone. I was too engrossed with the song that I didn’t realize the car in front of me. The windshield was down and Mr. Pastry Isle guy was waving at me. He was saying something I can’t hear and gestured his hand in the seat beside him. I pull out my right earphone and shouted, “What?”

“Come on in inside. Cabs are not coming when it rain cats and dogs!!” he shouted back.

“Okay!” I acquiesce and take off the other earphone and stuck it inside my bag. He opened the door and like a ninja, I ran to it trying not to get wet. “Thanks” I muttered.

“It’s not nice to let a gorgeous lady wait for a cab in this cold afternoon” he said and grinned.

Mr. Pastry Isle guy is handsome, mind you. His smile makes his right dimple visible and forms a crescent shape in his eyes. His sharp nose and firm jaw makes his face an eye-candy.

“I’m Jiyong, by the way” he said and offered his right hand to me. He glanced at me briefly and went to focus on the road.

“Dara” I shook our hands and smiled.

Starting on that day, we always see each other out. Sometimes, we hang out in their house since his sister is an aspiring pastry chef. I taught both of them how to bake cakes and other pastries. I already met his parents. They’re both nice and very heart-warming. I learned that he’s an engineering student. Both of us are candidate for graduating this March.

After around 3 months, we’re officially dating. I could say that he’s my idea of perfect. There’s no dull moment in us.  My life was so colorful and jolly when he came in. I don’t know why but every time I see him, I fall even hard for him. I love him, that’s the bottom line.

March came in and I am in our toga, waiting in the gymnasium to be called and be announced as graduates. He’s studying in other school and his graduation isn’t on until the day after tomorrow. I gave my valedictory speech and from the stage, I saw him smiling at me beside my parents. He even blew a kiss from afar. I smiled and winked.

Time passes by quickly and both of us had our job. He was on a known company in the city as an engineer and me on our café. As a graduation gift, my parents gave me this café to run on and that was one of the best gift that I’ve received.

One time, when I am on our café busy baking cakes, I received a call from his mom telling me that Jiyong was rushed in the hospital. I am beyond shock and stunned at the same time. I told my assistant to take care of the café as I go to him.

When I reached the place, his mother sobbed right in front of me. His father was on the bench sitting and his younger sister was beside me, comforting his mother. We sat down beside his father and I asked them what happened. I won’t believe if they tell me that he was not feeling well because just this morning he was still at his best condition.

“Dara dear, Jiyong has been suffering from a heart disease for almost 3 years” his father informed me. His mother sobbed again and tears rolled down on his sister’s cheek.

“He didn’t tell me that” I said in almost a whisper. Why on earth didn’t he inform me that? We were dating for almost a year and he hasn’t uttered a word or even discussed it. I could feel my lips trembling. I’m almost eaten up by my emotion. I’m trying to be strong but I can’t. Jiyong with a heart disease? I don’t know if I can even imagine that.

He was transferred into a private room after the surgery in the ER. I sat beside him, holding his hand.

“Dara” he smiled at me as he squeezed my hand. “Hi.”

“Oh Jiyong, why didn’t you tell me about this?” Tears ran down on my cheek as I glance at the wires and cord on his hand and on his nose.

“I don’t want you to worry about me” he rubbed his thumb on my knuckles, his voice is so low.

“But still, I can be aware of that. Look at you” I caressed his face carefully.

“Babe, I’m still alive.”

“I know.”

Jiyong was in the hospital for almost five months and he was still not going out. He needs to be within the reach of the doctor for immediate medication in case of a heart failure again. As I counted, he had four heart attacks in between those months. I don’t want to imagine the scene again. I started to hate the ambiance of the hospital. Shiny floors, white gowns, IV, oxygen tanks, syringes, stressed doctors, grumpy nurses, wheelchairs and everything.

We were on our own since his parents went home to get something. I scanned the T.V. for something good to watch when his hand reached for me.

“Dara, sweets” he called me with his weak voice. I’m starting to get used by his weak voice and weak body. I shifted my position and interlaced my fingers with his.

“Yes babe?”

“In case I’ll be in this hospital forever, will you still love me?” he asked out of nowhere.

“Jiyong please, you’re going to be okay. You’re going home” I frowned at him.

“Just in case”

I sighed and nodded “Of course, I will still love you. There’s no other Jiyong in this world.”

“Really?”

“Really” I smiled at him as he kissed my hand.

I went back on watching the movie with my hand interlaced with his. Suddenly, he poked my hand to catch my attention. I cocked my head to him and was welcomed by a diamond ring. I stared at it for a moment then to him, who was grinning despite of his condition, and back to the ring.

“Will you be my girl forever, sweets?” he asked. My heart was in my throat. I can’t speak. Words were caught up in my throat.

He grinned and poked my arm, “Dara?”

I smiled widely and nodded, “Yes” it was a breathy answer.

“Yes?”

“Yes, yes, yes” I nodded my head endlessly.

“I love you Dara.”

“I love you more Jiyong.”

That was the last words I hear from him. His heart failed for the last time, doctors and surgeons can do nothing about it. He needed to have a heart transplant but there’s no donor arrived. It’s needed to be compatible to him also. But luck wasn’t on our side. Jiyong, my one and only Jiyong left me.

It was hard months for me and his family to move on. I kept on crying every night. No one can comfort me. Not even an ice cream or a doughnut or any Will Ferrell comedy flick.

I still have his ring at my right ring finger. I’m still engage with him. I still love him after all these years. I’m still hoping that someday, just maybe someday, I can turn back the time when we first met, our first date, our first kiss and all of our firsts that we shared in the world.

“Dara, my love, I know I can’t be with you forever but I promise you I am watching you from somewhere. Someday, I hope you can find someone who’s better and well than me. I love you and will always be.”

It was a letter from Jiyong, scribbled at the back of the prescription of his medicine. The nurse found this underneath his pillow and gave it to me. His last treasure he gave me after the ring. Even though his not in our human world, I know our love is just around us in the air like the dust. Our love dust.

“You will always be my Jiyong. I love you and I miss you …”