“Daehyun I…”

“It’s okay, you don’t have to say a word, Eunmi.”

I didn’t know what to say, he was my friend and he’d just broken up with his girlfriend. I wasn’t good at this kind of stuff, but I really did want to help him, I just didn’t know how. Plus, I had a dilemma, I liked him, more than I’d ever liked any one person on this planet in my 15 years of existence. There’s over 6 billion people on Earth, and I didn’t want anyone else.

All I could ever think about was him and his ways, the way he’d give me piggy backs around and hug me tightly. The way he’d always be there to cheer me up and the way all he had to do was flash that one in a million smile at me and everything would feel better.

The way his hair fell around his face and how when he was in the shower he would sing loudly in his beautifully angelic voice, I would often find myself standing by the bathroom door and just listening to him, it’d send me into a fantasy world, where I’d imagine he was singing to me.

I knew Daehyun through family, so I was around him quite a bit, it wasn’t helpful at all, usually when you like a boy you only have to see him around school, or in town, I had to see him all of the time, he’d stay over, he’d be at family gatherings and every single one of my birthday parties since I could remember. He’d be there, with a huge smile on his face and kind words spoken in his busan voice.

It had hurt me so badly when he got together with Jiyeon, she was the prettiest girl I knew, and one of the iest. I could see it all going wrong from the word go, I didn’t want to tell him though, didn’t want to risk him thinking I was jealous and discovering my feelings, so I kept it all inside, and now, here he was sitting next to me, his red puffy eyes gave me a pain in my chest. It killed me seeing him like this.

How the could she have the nerve to cheat on him, I found my anger bubbling up inside just thinking of it, he was the nicest boy, ever. So sensitive, so sweet and funny and charming and lovely and…

Ergh, I sat there just looking at him as he stared down not making eye contact. I had to do something, anything, I couldn’t bare seeing him like this. But what could I do,  what in the world could little old me do to try and fix Jung Daehyun’s heart ache. I sat there my mind buzzing searching desperately for words to make him feel better, something, anything, the silence was getting more and more unbearable, I had to speak… now!

“I-I like you.” I spluttered out immediately turning bright red realising what I’d just said. Damn. That definitely wasn’t supposed to come out.

Slowly he looked up and stared at me furrowing his brow slightly, God he looked so y when he did that, but now wasn’t the time, my heart was beating at 100 miles per hour and my throat had gone all dry, I just sat there waiting for him to reply with anything, I don’t know what I was expecting him to reply, I didn’t even mean to tell him in the first place.

“Wait so, you like me? Like, like me like me?”

I couldn’t manage to speak, so just nodded like a little kid.

“Oh.” He said, I knew that oh, he was speechless, and I knew that if he didn’t know what to reply then he obviously didn’t feel the same. Okay so maybe a small part of me expected him to say “Oh my God Eunmi! I like you too” and then pick me up and carry me away, but this is real life, and this was me. So all I got, was an “oh”.

“Eunmi, you’re one of my oldest friends, I’ve never thought of you that way. I’m sorry.”

My eyes were stinging from me trying so desperately to hold back the tears, why did I have to just go and ruin everything. I swallowed hard and went to speak “Oh yeah, don’t worry, I know, I was just yunno, trying to show you that yunno, Jiyeon isn’t the only girl that will ever like you, you’re too good for her anyway.” I forced a smile and leant on his shoulder. His smell was amazing, my favourite smell in the world, I could just stay there for hours breathing it in.

He rested his head on top of mine before quickly kissing the top of my head softly. “You’re so sweet, Eunmi. I couldn’t ask for a better friend.”

I looked up so our eyes met and I smiled sweetly at him, a genuine one this time as he smiled back. He may not have wanted to be more than friends with me, but I’m glad he thought I was at least a good friend.

“You too Daehyun, I don’t know what I’d do without you If I’m quite honest.” he chuckled and brushed his hair back with his hand.

“Oh I’m sure you’d be fine, you’re amazing.” As he said those last words his voice cracked a little, I wasn’t sure why, it was like he was only realising them as they came out of his mouth. For me, as he said them I got serious butterflies in my stomach, he was never that complimentary of me, not in that way and it sounded wonderful coming out of his mouth.

He sat there for a moment, gazing at me looking pensive, the poor boy looked confused and lost, so I thought it was best I should leave him for the day, let him mull over things with Jiyeon.

“Okay Daehyun, I’ll go then, I’ll see you later okay? Please don’t think too much about what I said, I’m sorry.”

Then he did something I wasn’t expecting, he stood up with me, took a step forward and stared straight down into my eyes with a serious look plastered on his face.

“But what if I want to think about it… what then?” His facial expression didn’t change and I had know idea what he meant by what he said, my mouth opened as if to say something but I didn’t know what. He did the same before saying, “wait, let me just… let me just see something okay.”

He tilted my chin up towards him and pulled me in close touching his lips timidly against mine. Hesitantly at first but then parting his lips more and letting his hands explore my body before resting at my waist. I thought my head was about to explode, and my chest, and my stomach, and everything else I could imagine. This was it. He was kissing me. Right now. I couldn’t believe it, I’d waited all my life for this to happen and now it was, I didn’t know what to do with myself as my arms lay awkwardly at my sides. After a minute or so I loosened up, letting my hands slide up his back and into his hair. The one’s I’d stared at constantly for 15 years always wondering what it’d be like to touch them and run my fingers through them. It felt wonderful, they were entwined in my fingers and it only made everything feel ten times better as our lips moved in time not stopping for a second until I realised I hadn’t taken a breath since the kiss started.

Pulling away, he let out a small laugh shaking his head. “This is mad, I never saw it before but, I think I might just like you too Eunmi.”