Only half a week had passed since the day that Toru didn’t open the door even though he knew it was the vocalist who wanted to pay him a visit. He still felt remorse about his behavior that day and his attitude since then. They had almost finished recording the new album and even though he was glad about how smoothly the work was done, he didn’t quite look forward to having a regular day of band practice again because it would make it difficult to avoid his best friend any longer. He didn’t even think of the possibility that even before the recording would be finished he could get in a situation where getting round this certain topic might be out of the question. It was at the end of the second to last day of working in the studio that he left the room after polite goodbyes and noticed Taka leaning against the wall in the hallway. The vocalist’s recordings had ended about 2 hours ago so of course the leader didn’t see it coming to run into the shorter male today. He only saw the other one shortly after his arrival in the morning and greeted him before hurrying away with an excuse he didn’t even remember anymore.

“Hey, why are you still around?” Toru didn’t want to ignore his friend completely and there was no harm in asking this question, right? The elder’s dark orbs stared at him for a short moment before Taka pushed himself away from the wall with a low growl.

“Let’s try to figure the reason out. Ryota and Tomoya finished for today about an hour ago, conclusion: they left the building long ago. There’s nothing I have to discuss with the folks inside so what could I possibly still be doing here, huh? I’m waiting for a certain because I’ve had it up to here with this ridiculous situation. Does this answer your question?” Even though Taka’s voice sounded relatively calm and relaxed, he was obviously pissed and this was never a good sign. So here was the point that Toru overdid it with all his avoiding, denying and hiding. Of course he knew he couldn’t get away forever but he wasn’t prepared that now would be the moment to be horribly scolded by the normally good-natured vocalist.

“Uhm…so you’re waiting for me?” Of course this was a stupid question because the other one made it pretty obvious but the words left his lips before the guitarist could even think about it. Actually his mind wasn’t able to get a clear thought right now and his fastened heartbeat wasn’t very helpful either. Toru had to admit, he was scared of this confrontation.

“Brilliant conclusion, Sherlock. Come on, we should leave this place because I don’t want to disturb anyone here. There are some things I want to make clear and be assured, I’m not willing to act all polite and understanding because this is your own fault!” The curly haired man’s voice had a more gloomy tone to it now and the dark glare was the sign to just nod as an answer. Maybe it would be better to shut up for now and Toru didn’t even dare to even think of an excuse for escaping what was about to happen. They left the building and he walked slightly behind his friend who didn’t seem to care much about this fact. The guitarist didn’t need much time to notice they were heading in the direction of Taka’s place that was located quite close to the recording studio. Both walked the whole way in complete silence and the blonde felt more and more uneasy. He never thought the day would come that he was actually afraid of talking to his best friend or that he could feel even more miserable after the past days.

When they finally arrived at the vocalist’s place he started to get a little nervous and it felt like ages until they entered the building to go upstairs and into the flat of the elder. There was still this heavy silence weighing in the air and after Toru got out of his shoes he followed his friend into the kitchen but stopped in the doorway. At first it seemed like Taka wanted to get something to drink for them but he simply turned around and leaned against the sideboard and fixed his gaze on the guitarist while his eyes darkened a little.

“You know, I really tried to understand and to accept the fact that you wouldn’t talk to me but this is going too far! What have I done to deserve being ignored and completely left out of everything?? The only ‘conversations’ lately are some greetings and aside from that you totally avoid me and don’t dare to tell me that it’s not true! I’m neither blind nor stupid, Toru!” Taka’s voice became a little louder with every sentence and the expression on his face made clear he would let the guitarist get away with any stupid excuses this time. This was exactly the reason why Toru wanted to avoid such a situation so badly. He knew his friend could be persistent and wouldn’t simply give in if he was told to. The curly haired male was very attentive when it came to his friends and most of the time he could see right through a fake smile or dishonest answers. Sometimes it felt like the other one could sense it when something was wrong.

“What am I supposed to say to this? I can only tell you that it’s not your fault.” Maybe saying nothing was better than such a silly phrase and of course it only caused the shorter male to look even more grumpy and annoyed. Most of the time Taka’s fine features would show a happy or mischievous expression but the times of looking so gloomy could be counted on the fingers of one hand.

“Oh, thank you. That clears everything up.” The sarcasm couldn’t be any more audible and Toru let his head sink a bit lower and so did his shoulders. Normally he wasn’t the person to endure scolding or being yelled at without any resistance but there was nothing he could reply without giving the truth away or telling a horrible lie. Every fiber of his body wanted to avoid a fight but it seemed to be inevitable even though it was kinda one-sided. Toru was the leader and normally in charge of the control but he lost said control over the past days, even weeks. To be honest, he had never felt this vulnerable and lost in his whole life.

“Taka…” He wanted to explain so badly but there was no way he could simply blur out his true feelings in such a situation. There was no chance for this to happen in any other situation either. Whatever he intended to say right now the vocalist wouldn’t let him anyway by cutting him off with a disapproving growl before crossing the arms in front of his chest.

“Just shut up! I know the words that would come out would either be obvious excuses or something similar but not the truth. I never thought the moment would come that I feel the urge to slap you but right now it might make me feel at least a little better. You are a thick-headed , always trying to protect everyone and forgetting about yourself in the meantime. Why can’t you for once depend on someone? Depend on me? I can’t even count the many times that I came to you, seeking for help or just soothing words because I felt miserable. I guess you’re the only one who saw me in my worst moments but still kept calm and did help me without hesitation. You always managed to make it better, to make me feel less bad about myself. Why can you do this for me but feel like you can’t allow yourself to show weakness? I’m the last person on earth to judge you or to push you away. I will listen but therefore you have to start talking to me again.” Taka paused for a moment and had to take a proper breath again because he neglected this during all the talking. He still sounded very angry but also bitter and there was also a pleading tone mixed into it. A small part of Toru was actually a little bit happy about some of the things he was just told but the greater part of him could only feel pain because the other one was obviously very upset thanks to him. Honestly, the guitarist didn't even consider that his friend might react this strong and would be more focusing on his girlfriend but when this thought crossed his mind now he realized how stuipd it sounded. Taka was too kind and thoughtful so there was no way he could not care much about it. Toru should know better than thinking this bad of the elder because he knew exactly how sensitive Taka was. He had been too wrapped up in his self-pity to think straight. Even though the moment of silence lasted longer than expected, the leader didn't even try to say something and only bit his bottom lip.
"So now you're not even saying a single word to me anymore? I don't want to have this kind of conversation either and I don't want to yell at you and be angry. It's just...I dunno what to do or say to get through to you. You seem to be so depressed and worn out, I can't stand to watch this in silence. I can't stand to see this broken expression on your face. It hurts to see you like this and I want to make you feel better but...how to do that when I know nothing? This started after I told you about A~chan and you can't tell me it has nothing to do with this." The curly haired man might have been yelling before but now his voice got a lot lower and the pleading tone became even clearer. Toru's heart pounded painfully against his ribcage and hearing Taka say that it hurt him how things were lately was only making it more unbearable than it already had been.
"It doesn't matter if it's because of her or not. I don't have the right to complain about you being in a relationship. I'm not this kind of person and you should kno-" The guitarist stopped in the middle of the sentence because of some low mumbled words that had left the other's lips while he was talking. He wasn't sure if he understood right so Toru couldn't suppress to ask what the shorter male had just said.
"I said: I'm not. I'm not in a relationship." Now it was Taka’s head that was a bit lowered while the taller male lifted his again and confusion was written all over his face. The vocalist wasn’t in a relationship? But that’s exactly what he had told or did the leader get the information wrong?

“But you said…” Toru was totally confused by now and even forgot his own miserable feelings for a short moment. What was going on right now? His friend’s expression had been so angry and disappointed before but now it looked more like guilt with a hint of sadness. Obviously the blonde wasn’t the only one hiding something and this made him relax at least a tiny bit.

“I know this isn’t an excuse but it was A~chan’s idea to tell you that we’re dating even though we never were. Actually she has someone she’s going out with and I’m not interested in her at all, we’re just good friends and that’s all that is to it.” The leader had never felt more relieved about such news as he was right now. But he couldn’t really be happy about the fact that the person of his interest wasn’t taken because he didn’t understand why he was told such a story in the first place. The explanation gave away that he had been the only one Taka had told this untrue fact and he wondered why this was the case. Did he do something wrong to deserve being played such a trick on?

“Uh…I guess I’ve got to explain it some more now. You should know that it was never my intention to hurt you and this wasn’t supposed to kid you. It was…How should I put this? Nh…this is going to be the worst confession ever…” Taka only mumbled the last sentence and the younger almost didn’t understand the words. Confession? What kind of confession was he talking about? He couldn’t possibly mean… Toru’s heart started beating a tad faster again and he felt the nerviness rising once again. The curly haired male seemed to be kinda shy all of a sudden and rubbed his neck in an embarrassed manner before letting out a soft sigh. It felt like an eternity until the deep brown orbs were directed at the blonde again and the vocalist’s fine shaped lips opened to finally clear the meaning behind this up.

-to be continued-