a/n Bold and italic are Kai’s thoughts. Plain italics are Krystal’s. Thank you for reading!

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Whenever the moon comes, I can’t help but think of you. I’m sorry.

Whenever the sun rises, I can’t help but think of you. I need you.

Only when you’re gone do I realise how much I need you. Where are you?

Can’t you see me? I’m always here. I’m here for you. Why won’t you see me?

Jongin… it’s my fault. I never should have left you. I was a fool.

Soojung… it’s my fault. Why did I let you leave? I was a fool.

I can’t help but feel you’re so far away. Our love… it that a distant memory as well?

I see you every single day yet you’re out of my reach. Our love… is fleeting right before my eyes.

I miss the way you my hair and nibble on my bottom lips.

I miss the way you ruffled my hair and caressed my cheeks.

I love having long showers because the water clouds my tears whenever I’m thinking of you.

I love walking in the rain because the droplets trickle with my tears as I’m thinking of you.

You were my first. Promise me you won’t forget our love.

You will be my last. I’ll promise that you will never erase our love.

I’m sorry that it had to be this way. I’m sorry that you’re always on my mind and in my heart.

I’m sorry that our story turned out like this. I’m sorry that I can’t seem to forget you.

I love you, Kim Jongin. I’ll only have you, now and forever.

I love you, Jung Soojung. I’ll only need you; past, present and future.

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The crowds were cheering.

The lights were bright.

The feeling was indescribable.

A young man blinked his eyes as he took in the sight. Here he was.

He’d fulfilled his dreams.

“Kai!”

The man waved brightly to the fan who had been trying to catch his attention. He had fans.

Those many years of sweat and hard work finally paid off. He looked around the enormous stadium. This was something he had only imagined before, but he was here now.

Nothing else mattered.

“Thank you everyone for coming to SMTown in Seoul. Thank you so much.” The words spoken by Yunho sunbaenim seemed distant as the young man was still in his own world.

How could he leave when this was what he wanted all these while?

“Jongin. It’s time to end the show.” Suho’s words broke him out of his trance.

He scurried over to his leader, almost tripping along the way. Letting out a small chuckle, the man held hands with Suho and once again, got lost into the sea of fans.

“S-Shall we?”

A voice so sweet called out to him. Jongin had wanted to moan at the familiarity of it all but stopped himself, knowing that he wasn’t Jongin.

He was Kai.

His eyes fleeted to his left, to where the voice had called for him. He gazed upon her neatly tied hair, something he had always disliked because he loved when she put her hair down. His lingering stare then came upon her cold eyes, something he knew wasn’t what it seems because he himself had experienced its’ warmth.

Finally, his eyes came upon her lips and he sighed.

He nodded his head slightly, as if he was giving her permission and in returned, the girl gave a small smile. She held him by his hands tightly, something she hadn’t done in a while.

“Thank you!”

Murmurs of heart-felt thanks whizzed its’ way through every single SMTown member. The bunch bowed, thankful for the support they had received from the audience today and the days before.

Soon, it was time to let go and Kai had been hesitant. He didn’t wanted to leave her. He had missed her touch so badly.

Sadly, the girl broke away, her eyes never onto his the moment their hands separated. He had been curious then. Why was she so nervous?

The man continued staring at the girl and took in her beauty. He felt compelled to grab her waist and carry her over his shoulders as they run far, far away.

But he can’t.

The girl turned around, sensing that a pair of eyes had been on her figure for a long time. Her eyes had met his for a second and the girl had wanted to turn around to avoid it but she didn’t.

She stayed.

It was as if he was challenging her, to see if she would shatter before he did. She hated losing so shatter she didn’t, no matter how much it hurts.

She had won.

The man looked away, his once serious face now turning into a joyful expression. Of course. He always broke down before she did. He always loses.

“Krystal.”

The girl turned around, realising that Victoria had been calling her to return backstage. The girl complied as she walked beside the man that had been hers once.

He was not looking and was not finding for her. He was with s, the sole source of his happiness.

She gritted her teeth in annoyance as she remembered she was no longer that source. It was her mistake anyway, so she only had herself to blame.

She had left him when she was given a choice not to. She had taken the other route.

But paths often intertwined even though they separate at first, right? No matter where one will be, they all came from the same starting point. It only made sense if their destination was the same, at the end of the day.

“Y-You did g-good.” She found herself stuttering alone.

Her gaze was averted to the floor but he knew who she was talking to. She always talked to inanimate objects, walls and floorings when she was shy.

“Thank you. You… You did good as well.” Kai conversed to Sehun who was lost to why would utter a thank you to him.

Krystal knew though, that he was replying her then. She grinned a little as she felt her heart skip a beat.

 Oh how long she had waited for his voice.

The girl looked up to face him and her stomach churned as he returned her stare.  She was certain that she must not look away if she was insistent on finding that destination.

She must never get lost again.

“But you were the best.” Krystal found her courage as she showed him a thumbs up sign. “You’re always the best, Jong-… Kai.”

The man laughed as he nodded to agree with her. He turned around to walk with s and the girl couldn’t help but feel disappointed.

All her efforts… had gone to waste. He wasn’t interested in her now of course. Why would he when she had run away from him?

it up, the girl went to walk alone, leaving herself in her own world. If it wasn’t because she had tripped on wires, Krystal would never have realised that she was already back stage.

“Stupid girl.” She muttered as she dusted herself.

Did she care that she received a few weird looks from her seniors? Nope. They knew how… interesting the girl was. Shrugging off a concerned Jessica, the girl sighed and continued to walk forward.

“Someone’s still as talkative as ever.” She heard a chuckle from behind.

It was him. Was he talking to her?

“Someone’s still as nosy as ever.” Krystal huffed as she avoided eye contact in case her heart broke again. “Don’t you have somewhere to go Jong-… Kai?”

“Don’t you want to return?” He asked her seriously.

“To my members? Of course.” Lies. Her feet was still frozen on the floor.

“I see.” She sensed disappointment in his voice. “I thought… Nah. It doesn’t matter anyway. Goodnight.”

Thud.

Those were his footsteps, walking away from her.

Thud Thud.

He won’t go too far, would he? He can’t. She…

Thud Thud Thud.

She wanted to be his destination, didn’t she? So why…

“S-Stop!” Krystal cried out to the young man.

Kai turned around, a small smirk evident on his lips. “Yes?”

“W-What did you wanted to s-say?” She squeaked because well, she was feeling as tiny as a mouse.

“No no. You got me wrong.” The man shook his head. “More of like what did YOU wanted to say?”

“H-Huh?”

“Tell me. Why did you stopped yourself from saying my name? Do you loathe Jongin so much? Is Kai an easier escape route from Jongin? Does Jongin not deserve to be talked to?”

“W-What? I-” Her heart beats fast as she took in his words.

“Soojung.” His voice commanded her. “Tell me what you want.”

“I…”

“I see.”

No. Wait! What did he see?! I… Jongin… I…

The man sighed as he turned away again. “See you around, Krystal sunbaenim.”

Before he could walk away, the girl had ran and buried her face into his back. Her arms were tightly holding on to the man and he felt his back soaking.

She was crying.

“I’m sorry that I had left not once, not twice but many times. I’m sorry.” Krystal let go and covered her face instead. “I’m so awfully sorry.”

“As I’m sorry for letting you go, Soojung. I… miss you. I wanted you so bad… I… need you.” Jongin hugged the girl in tight embrace and her hair. “Now tell me. What do you want?”

As the girl looked up, Jongin wiped her tears away so that he could see those beautiful icy warm eyes of hers.

“I want you.”

The pair grinned and chuckled over the awkwardness of it all.

“I love you, Kim Jongin. I’ll only have you, now and forever.”

“Like I love you, Jung Soojung. I’ll only need you; past, present and future.”

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a/n Was this awkward? haha. okay, i hope you guys like it as much as I enjoyed (feeling depressed) writing it. Subscribes and Comments are welcome! ^^