oh sehun abruptly flicks his flip-phone open. 22:28. his thumb angrily jabbed at the keypads, eyes drooping low. his surrounding was pitch black, and the pale moonlight passed through the windows, revealing a clipping from today's newspaper.

total blackout today beginning from 10 pm

with a pained frown and furrowed eyebrows, he checks his inbox.

no new messages.

sehun sighs again, his heart wrenching into pieces. he takes deep breaths, calming himself down. he plops himself on the couch, the phone dangling on his fingers. closing his eyes, he clenches his fingers repeatedly, breathing deeply. he opens his eyes lazily, staring at the ceiling above.

" you," he curses out loud to the air around him.

you, kai.

his fingers travels again to his phone, punching the button that selects new message.

to: kai
holy where are you you promised that you would come tonight. kim jongin you promised to me. tonight. tonight we would go to the movies like the old times.

to: kai
you why aren't you replying to me.

to: kai
you know what i give up you dickhead.

he groans, burying his head on his palms. the screen of his phone flickers, and then suddenly, it went black. sehun curses silently on his mind, but he lets it go. he rises from the couch, and he sits on the table in front of the window. he remembers, this was where they usually sit together, laughing and enjoying a nice big cup of hot cocoa.

the memory was too painful.

sighing in exasperation, he looks at the sky, painted with drips of white, twinkling. the stars.

tonight, he'll just remember. tonight, he'll just wait.

as always.

oh sehun doesn't know why he fell in love with kim jongin.

no, correction, he knows why he fell in love with the old kim jongin. but this jongin - kai, isn't it? - he feels detached from him. sehun scoffs as he pulls out a bottle of beer from the bottom of the desk. he knows it's there, jongin - kai - always stashes them there. initially, he frowned at kai's actions, but as time passed, sehun begins to be grateful. now he doesn't need a trip to the grocery store if he wants them.

one long gulp and his throat feels like fire.

he blinks again, the world around him becoming a blur. he met jongin on the streets when he was going to his dance classroom. they both awkwardly stumbled, sehun hissing a silent and jongin biting his plump lips.

"uh, sorry," was what jongin said after that, with sehun raising his eyebrows at him.

"why are you here?" was what sehun blurted out. he's known for his harsh and blunt sayings.

"err, i'm a student here?" jongin smiled sheepishly. "dance student?"

sehun frowned. "new?"

"transfer student," jongin gulped, lifting himself up. "um- oh sehun-sshi," he said, noticing sehun's nametag, extending his hand. "we don't want to be late, do we?"

sehun only swatted jongin's hands away.

sehun met him again on the stairs, one week later.

"oh, it's you again," sehun sarcastically remarked, leaning to the wall. "you seem to stalk me."

jongin only scoffed, and sehun is mildly surprised. the innocent boy he met back then was gone, replaced by a mildly snarkier one. "well i'm sorry if we always bump at eachother. maybe fate?"

sehun laughed. "there's no such thing as fate, my boy. there's only coincidences or you're stalking me. you are, are you?"

they both laughed again, their sounds echoing around the secluded space.

"my name's jongin," jongin mused. "kim jongin."

"oh sehun," sehun lazily replied, "but you probably knew that already."

jongin rolled his eyes, purposely flicking sehun's forehead. sehun yelped, covering his forehead. "yah! kim jongin! you just made the biggest mistake!"

"oh, really, now?" jongin laughed, sprinting down the stairs.

"yah! come back here, idiot!" sehun roared, following him. jongin only laughed, while sehun's mouth curved into a small smile.

that was the beginning of their friendship.

maybe it was fate, maybe it was a coincidence, but oh sehun didn't care which one is it. it was destined for them to be like that.

the dance instructor told them to choreograph and dance with a partner for the practical examination. jongin almost automatically picked sehun from the class. they were both strong, fluid dancers, and heck, even the boys were swooned at how accurate and how smooth they danced.

"pick the run & gun instrumental," sehun suggested.

"that was what i was going to pick." jongin shrugged, and listed it on the sheet. "fate?" jongin cheekily added.

"there's no such thing as fate, i tell you." sehun mused, grinning.

"seonsaengnim! may we go to our respective dance room to choreograph?" jongin politely asked to the dance instructor. he nodded his head curtly, and when no one was watching, the teacher grinned and gave a thumbs up to jongin and sehun.

i have high hopes for you both, he mouthed.

jongin packed up his things, sehun following suit. "we're his best students," jongin stated, as sehun rolled his eyes and punched him lightly in the arm. they both bowed to the teacher and scuttled off outside.

"so full of yourself," sehun breathed silently, jongin nudging him, frowning.

"hey, i can read your mouth, okay." he pouted.

"only a few months here and you're already so cheeky like that, kiddo," sehun teased, while jongin kept pouting.

sehun guffawed, his laugh echoing through the whole hallway.

the day has come, the day of the practical examination. sehun and jongin were dressed up in their best attires, jongin's hair slicked back with gel and sehun's hair spiked up. the girls whispered, of course, but they both shrugged and proceeded to go the the changing room.

"you look hot," sehun commented idly.

an unnoticeable blush passed on jongin's cheeks. "thanks," he muttered.

"pair number 13, oh sehun and kim jongin, please come out!" the speaker boomed, followed with muffled cheers and screams. jongin dusted his hoodie, and smiled at sehun.

"we can do this," he whispered.

sehun clasped his hand on jongin's shoulder and winked. "come on, you were all cocky 3 weeks ago, don't be nervous now."

jongin rolled his eyes, but he grinned.

back to the present.

sehun weaves his fingers through the strands of his hair, his other hand helping the bottle up, the searing liquid passing through his throat. after that, he breathes again, blinking.

it helps the pain to numb away.

he looks at the clock again, the ticking frustrating him. why can't time just stop? why can't it just rewind? maybe, just maybe, they both can fix the mistakes they did in the past. maybe they both can sit here together every night again, him sipping hot cocoa and jongin sipping his cafe latte. but no, jongin isn't jongin anymore - he's kai. he's now a feisty man who can't even visit his own apartement to meet his boyfriend.

he scowls.

kai can never replace the jongin he met in the past. not now, not ever.

"jongin, please don't go," he mutters miserably.

the first tear rolls down and he wipes it hastily, but they keep falling, cascading, whatever - and he furiously wiped it all, and then he laughs. he laughs so emptily, as if he laughs at this whole world, at its stupidness, at its so called 'fate'.

there's no such thing as fate, and there will never be such thing as fate.

maybe they both knew it was inevitable.

maybe they both knew it was inevitable for them to fall in love - and maybe they both already knew. maybe jongin knew that when they first met, the sparks were already ignited. maybe sehun himself knew that he had already fallen in love with him from the first time he bumped onto jongin.

so when they were finally legal, when they were finally free in this whole big world, when they were celebrating the congratulation-worthy event, when they were both in the club with their friends, maybe it was already decided.

maybe when they were dared to kiss each other, they already decided that they finally found the end of their own red strings.

maybe they already encountered their other half.

and with a searing kiss and muffled shouts and cries of surprise and a couple of woo-hoos, they maybe already decided.

sehun knows he already decided that on that day, but he doesn't know if jongin did.

he hopes for a yes.

kai grits his teeth, the rain still pouring down heavily. he had waited for the taxi to come, but to his dismay, it was hopeless. he clenches his fists, his sharp nails digging into his own flesh.

the rain still pours down, and in his mind, he chants sehun please wait for me please please sehun please please

in the first time for months, jongin was back.

kai faded away.