From the moment he woke up, Kai realised something was wrong.  Moving his eyeballs hurt a lot for a reason he could not fathom, and his entire body felt clammy, as though he’d had a nightmare.  The lanky dancer tried to get up into a sitting position.  Immediately, the room in front of his eyes spun, forcing him to collapse back onto his pillow.

“.  It had better not be a fever or else-“  A single touch of his forehead with the back of one hand confirmed his suspicions, releasing a string of profanities uttered under his breath.

Of all the times to succumb to illness, why now?  It was the most crucial period, right before EXO’s comeback, yet his stupid immune system just had to fail on him now.  Gritting his teeth, Kai tried lifting his body off the mattress again, only this time much more gradually so as not to aggravate the pounding headache.

Even though there was nothing in his stomach, he was bloated and nauseous, bile rising up his throat.  As if all the symptoms fever inflicted on him weren’t enough, his muscles were either stiff or aching thanks to weeks of intensive practicing.  He would have thought that, put under such torture for years already, his body would have adapted to better accommodate by now, but no.

In short, Kai felt like he was dying.

Still, telling the manager “Hey, I feel like I’m dying right now, so can I be let off for today?” would not work in the least bit, instead probably earning him a kick in the shins and a sharp “Get out of bed now, you lazy punk” – or something to that extent, anyways. 

So half smiling bitterly, Kai willed himself into leaving the comforts of his bed and staggered out the room, down the hall – why the was the bathroom located so ing far away from his room? – into said bathroom.  He struggled out of his clothes, slamming against the door and the wall alternately, nearly smashing the back of his head into the row of pegs ingeniously installed at that precise height.  After untangling himself from the shower curtains, Kai turned the shower on at full blast, letting a waterfall-like gush of water wash away the fever’s stickiness and somewhat clear his groggy mind.

By the time he stood, hands clutching the edge of the sink, wet hair dripping, inspecting how bad he looked in the mirror, Kai almost felt like he was restored to his usual self.  Almost.  In his current condition though, he couldn’t complain; he’d take what he could get.

Somehow, one way or the other, he would live through this day.  Somehow.

Once again, Lay’s waist was killing him. 

There was a sensation of being bent backwards at midriff slowly until he reached the point of snapping cleanly – or perhaps not really cleanly, he supposed, since muscles don’t exactly break the same way bones do – in half.

“You look like you’re trying to murder your reflection, hyung,” Sehun joked, appearing out of nowhere behind him.  In response, Lay could only manage a rather wry smile resembling more of a grimace than he intended.  Morbid thoughts indeed.

If he was alone, he wouldn’t have hesitated to just sprawl on the floor or whatever flat surface around, never mind how dirty it was.  Unfortunately for him, the entity of EXO was gathered together in their shared practice room in a rare shared practice.  Had it only been the M subgroup, Lay might confess about the triggered affliction.  However, in front of the K group whom he honestly wasn’t that close to, the reserved dancer refused to let on how weak he was.  Specifically, he would hate to admit he was flawed in the presence of a certain Kim Jongin.

It was in situations like this when Lay could only be grateful that his default facial expression masked any emotions.  Taking one last swallow from the plastic bottle, he tried to temporarily shelve the throbbing ache in his waist to the back of his mind, covering it up with a dimple, albeit tight, smile.

He spun around 180 degrees to face the rest of the room.  “C’mon guys, let’s go through the dance for ‘Wolf’ again!”  Too occupied with clowning around, the other members didn’t appear to hear him.  Knitting his eyebrows oh-so-slightly in a small frown, Lay repeated his words in a louder voice.

They reluctantly turned their attention to him only after the fourth time.  A chorus of grumbly “But I’m too tired” variations protested.

Messing up his newly cut hair in suppressed frustration, Lay let a few seconds lapse before opening his mouth again.  He never got to say what he wanted to, because one by one, as though through unspoken consensus he was excluded from, the members filed out of the room in an indirect rebellion.

The Chinese dancer stifled a groan.  Sure, he understood that they would be exhausted from the five hours straight of relentless practice, especially when dancing wasn’t in their list of ‘Top Ten Things I Love To Do”.  He considered himself a pretty empathetic person, and in a group he was usually the peacemaker, but the sole thought running through his mind at their leaving was something along the lines of ‘ you all’.

Did they not care that the CEO was already unhappy with their progress – or rather, their lack thereof?  Early in the morning, Lee Soo Man had called them into his office and proceeded to talk their ears of, largely complaints about how EXOtics were getting restless because SM had to push back their comeback date one too many times.  In his exact words, “Your fans are accusing the company for being trolls, I tell you, trolls!  Why do I get all the blame?  If I could, I would tell them what terrible slacker ingrates of idols the members of EXO are.  Why can’t you learn from your seniors?  Practice, practice and more practice!  Go now or I will burn up all your contracts!”

Was he the only one who cared?  Even Kris and Suho simply walked out without so much of a backwards glance.  Great way to set an example, leaders.

Truthfully, a part of him wanted to follow suit; any longer and the pain would become overpowering.  But Lay knew he couldn’t back out, not now.

Trailing behind the rest, Sehun paused suddenly, turning around.  “Aren’t you guys coming to rest too?”

“Nope.  I’m not tired yet.”  Lies, lies, lies, you’re full of lies.  Lay put the bottle in a corner, then made a move to press the music player’s ‘play’ button.  A dark-skinned hand beat him to it.  Startled, Lay’s head snapped up to meet shaded eyes and an arrogant smirk.

His unofficial archenemy sauntered to the middle of the room and got into position.  “Practicing with EXO was just a warm-up.”

Two can play at this game.  Recovering quickly, the skinnier dancer took his place next to Kai in a deliberate action.

“Uh… okay.  Don’t tire yourselves too much!”  Sensing the undercurrents of intense rivalry, Sehun made the smart decision to immediately, leaving the door to slam shut on EXO’s main dancers.

I can’t give in to him.

In a sea of convoluted, tangled voices, one rose persistently above the rest, urging him to continue dancing no matter what.  Holding onto it as a lifeline, Kai forced himself to keep in time with the deafening beats of the music that pounded against his eardrums, doing nothing to relieve his headache.

His vision swam, unfocused then focused, creating a dizzying effect.  Black dots began blotting out his consciousness.

, , .  Don’t you dare faint, Kim Jongin.

Beside him, the threat to his existence executed dance moves in almost effortless, fluid motions.  Dimple showing on his right cheek, that mild expression issued a silent challenge.  It was enough to fire up Kai’s resentment.  Concentrating solely on controlling his body, the younger man shut off the fever’s burning and the unrelenting nausea.

Little did he know, Lay wasn’t in a much better shape than him.

Pain-induced tears pricked at the corners of his eyes, blurring his vision.  Not that it really made a difference, anyways; either way, his mind was unable to register anything, disconnected from his senses, distancing his consciousness from reality.  Looking but not seeing, listening but not hearing.

Despite his current strange state of detachment, Lay still aware of the pain constantly shooting up his spine from his spiteful waist.  Though it had dulled to a numb throb, the anguish caused only increased.  A bitter taste flooded into his mouth when he recalled his ex-instructor’s scornful, sardonic remark, “Pain is good!  It means you’re alive!”

Good going, Zhang Yixing.  At the very least, you can confirm that you’re alive.  Remembering how twisted his instructor’s ‘encouragement’ was, Lay felt sick to the bottom of his empty stomach.

The lousy old clock hanging tauntingly on the wall opposite the mirror gave no indication of the amount of time passed from when the others had walked out.  Lay only knew that he had exceeded his physical limits and exhausted his energy somewhere between then and this moment.

Similarly, Kai had long since crossed the boundaries of humanely possible physical exertion, taking the high fever messing up his mind into account.  The basic act of kicking a leg out was enough to unbalance him, that was how weak he was.

Yet neither was willing to break first.  Unwavering eye contact held their reflections dared each other to admit he couldn’t go on any longer.

No one knew their undeclared rivalry existed.  In fact, their corresponding positions as ‘dancing machines’ in their respective sub-groups was a rather overlooked detail.  Instead, everyone simply assumed the duo would bond over their love of dancing.  It wasn’t too far off from the truth; that was the manner in which they started out.  Over time, both realised no matter what anyone said about EXO being big enough to accommodate two star dancers, one would always, always shine brighter.

Reality, unfortunately, is cruel.  Equality is but a dream.  Those who come in second place are as good as in last place, because people only care about the champion.

Two pairs of dark eyes shrouded in overwhelming agony met defiantly in the mirror, fueling each other onwards.

They both knew rising up on top in the entertainment industry wasn’t an easy feat.  It was a path paved by grime, sweat, and a hell lot of hard work.

Just like how life could be summed up as ‘it goes on’, their passion too, could be described in three words: Never give in.