“Can I have one more kiss before I tell you a thing, Ji Hyo-ah?”

Desperately Jong Kook asked her with a low voice. He felt like he didn’t even have any strength to say one more word. He was drawned to deep in Ji Hyo’s beautiful eyes, and that was the only thing he knew.

 “What thing, oppa?”

Ji Hyo seemed confused but she managed to hold back her questions. She fixed untidy hair which was falling messily just above her eyebrows.

“Umm… can I have the kiss first?” Jong Kook said with an awkward smile on his face.

Ji Hyo could only guess what was in her oppa’s mind at that time. He seemed to be joking but somehow she knew he wasn’t. There was something wrong and she couldn’t help but feel curious about it.

“Tell me first oppa.”

“Ji Hyo-ah, you know I’m always bad at expressing my feelings.”

Jong Kook stopped for awhile, trying to arrange words in his head. He didn’t know how to say it without hurting her even more. He was trapped between his decision and his intuition. Reluctantly he told her about the crash he almost had earlier. Word by word he told her every detail of the story. Even how he thought he heard Ji Hyo’s voice when he drove.

Throughout the whole story Ji Hyo just stood still. She listened to every word Jong Kook had said. The young woman tried her best to keep up with his story even though she didn’t know what Jong Kook’s point was.

When it had come to the end, Jong Kook stopped again for taking a deep breath then continued,

“I love you. I really love you.”

There was a long silence before Ji Hyo finally asked him something.

“What’s your point oppa? I love you, you love me. Why do you look so miserable? I know I was the one who asked for a break up but I honestly regret it. I don’t mind getting back together with you. It isn’t something we should be ashamed for.”

“It’s not it. It’s just… There isn’t any point of us going back together. I just… It won’t work out.” Frusteratedly he spoke his mind in a really small voice.

The words seemed to shock Ji Hyo. She didn’t think she could ever understand this oppa. What was the kiss for? Why did he come to her house? Why did he say he love her if this was all he wanted to say?

“So that’s it? Another goodbye? This is why you come here for?” Desperately she sat on the floor right where she used to stand before.

“No, that’s not it, Ji Hyo-ah.” Desperately he knelt down on his knees before sitting beside her. It was hard for him to explain to her because he himself didn’t really know what he wanted. He just felt that he needed to do that to save both of them.

“The ‘crash’ makes me think that maybe we don’t belong to each other. I feel like the whole universe doesn’t want us to be with each other…. At least for now.” Sadly Jong Kook placed his hand on hers.

“Oppa…” Sadly Ji Hyo hid her face behind her messy hair.

“I’m really sorry.” He wrapped his arms around her back and pulled her closer to him, letting her rested her head on his chest. He knew she was crying. It was too obvious because she made sobbing sounds.

“I don’t know whether I should feel mad or sad, oppa. I can’t decide.” Getting more comfortable, she started to place her arms around Jong Kook’s neck, trying to hold him tighter.

“I’m a jerk. I’m such a jerk.”

“No you’re no—well, you kinda get the point there.” Ji Hyo replied sarcastically, trying to make a joke in the middle of a hearbreaking situation. She realized there was no use of grieving about the goodbye.

Ji Hyo knew she could do nothing about that. She did agree that maybe both of them weren’t meant for each other—at least for now. She understood clearly that they the relationship couldn’t work out well. She had seen enough that she couldn’t make him happy. That was the reason she wanted to breakup. So for Ji Hyo, the whole goodbye thing made a perfect sense.

None of them cared about the cold they felt due to sitting on the floor. The shared a kiss right there, hoping that wasn’t the last time for them. But still the time was ticking and sooner or later they had to part. Sometimes the best kind of love is love that lets go and both of them thought that was the right thing to do at that time: letting go.

The next days flew slowly as they still couldn’t take the goodbye easily. It was hard for both of them, especially after knowing that they both loved each other sincerely. Running Man filming session wasn’t awkward though. The two acted professionally, pretending that there was nothing between them. Pretending that they were never a couple in the first place.

The good news is Joong Ki would join Running Man for a month and the members were all excited about that. Even the PDs were planning on holding a special episode.

Joong Ki remembered clearly that it was on the 14^th of July when a Running Man PD called him to explain some important things he would need to know about the next episode. However it was just unuseful information of where the filming would take place. He hated when the PD tried to act all mysterious.

Being as perfectionist as usual, Joong Ki did a little research on the filming place and was quite shocked when he found out that they would hold the show in a forest. It wasn’t a wild ‘wild’ forest though. The Saneum Recreational Forest was obviously a recreational forest so he supposed they wouldn’t face something dangerous there. But still it made him worried. From what he got on the internet, the forest wasn’t far from Seoul. It was located in Yangpyeong-gun and it might only take a couple of hours driving.

For awhile Joong Ki looked away from the laptop which was placed on his bed. He had been sitting there lazily since the afternoon. Staying alone in his hotel room was surely something he couldn’t enjoy that much. Despite his introverted side, he also missed being surrounded by friends. Lately no one came to visit him. Everybody was busy with work and family.

Vacantly he stared at the big hotel window. The city’s sky was getting darker as it almost reached night. He silently watched some of the buildings their lights, giving a lively appearance to the crowded city. Once again he felt lonely.

There was something wrong with him lately. It seemed like something was missing and he didn’t know—or didn’t remember what. The week was a chaos to him, with Jong Kook and Ji Hyo’s breakup and all. He couldn’t pretend he wasn’t involved in it, since he was. He saw it happened and he felt responsible for lying to Ji Hyo about the whole phone call thing. He also felt guilty for thinking that he might have an opportunity to be with his noona since she was single at the moment.

But somehow he knew it wasn’t those things that bothered him. It was something else. It was something about that day, about 14^th of July. Cluelessly he kept on staring at the city lights.

Then suddenly an email notification popped out from the monitor. He took a quick glance at it and let out a single sigh. Just another spam.

Desperately he looked back at the window, thinking through his memory, trying to find something that seemed to be forgotten. He threw his back to the bed, resting his head comfortably on the pillow.

I swear there’s something about 14^th of July. How can’t I remember it?

Still lying on his bed with his laptop on, he closed his eyes and starting to drift into a deep sleep.

“Oppa, don’t get into the forest!” A small voice made the young boy flustered. He turned his head to face the source of the sound and even more surprised to see a little girl standing still behind him.

“Omma told us not to go too far… Let’s go back Joong Ki oppa.” He saw fear on the little girl’s eyes and soon he realized who the girl was.

Joong Ki woke up in a very uncomfortable position. He didn’t remember the rest of the dream but he was sure he knew how it ended. It wasn’t a good dream and he wasn’t surprised about it. He used to have the similar dream when he was younger.

14^th of July…. It was the day she died.

That surely answered the whole thing. The loneliness, the emptiness, the bad feeling he had lately. Now he understood why he was so worried about the next filming place. It brought back those awful memories that he just couldn’t erase no matter how hard he tried to.

Lying helplessly on the bed, Joong Ki started to feel the fear and sadness creapt into his mind. The young man cried at the fact that he was the one to blame for his sister’s accident.

Mianhe.

A/N: So basically all I can say is I'm sorry. I'm really really reaaally sorry for not updating in umm... almost 2 months 0:-) Okay so I'll just confess that I was really busy and then I ran away to have a peaceful holiday. Not an acceptable reason huh? Anyway, I'll pretend that I'm innocent and continue to the next apology.

I don't know much about Korea, the geographical places, and blah blah blah, so I just did a little reasearch on the internet and randomly picked Saneum Recreational Forest to be the setting of my story. So technically the Saneum in my fanfiction is a fiction, purely based on my imagination. I just borrow the name cause I don't wanna be too imaginative.

This chapter is kinda absurd, the author's note is absurd too, and the apologies are even more absurd. So please forgive me :)