Jongin quietly snuck into the room, it was late. He was late. Jongin silently took off his shoes and tip toed into his bedroom to change.

“Jongin?” Jongin cursed under his breath, he thought she was asleep.

“Oh you’re awake, hi honey.” Jongin smiled, relaxing his shoulder in defeat. He walked over to Soojung and planted a kiss on her forehead. She frowned with sleepy eyes.

“You’re late again.” Soojung yawned. “I thought practice would be over early today?”

“It was but I wanted to stay back a bit, I wanted to get the routine down properly.” His show was tomorrow so he's a bit regretful for stressing himself out the night before but it was okay. He wanted the show to be perfect.

“Jongin, I’m sure your performance will be fine” Soojung rubbed her eyes and began to head to bed. “Besides all you have to do is perform, everyone loves you already. Not to mention you paycheck was already dropped off this morning.”

Jongin stopped for a moment, he didn’t reply. His chest felt heavy. he didn’t perform for money; he performed because he loved to dance. He wasn’t practising to impress people; it was his own satisfaction that mattered when he finishes a show. When he stood on stage he wanted the world to see him dance, yes, but he also wants the world to know that he has the privilege to do something he loves. He walks into their room silently hiding his disappointment.

“Are you still coming to the show tomorrow?” Jongin asked as they lay in bed. Soojung faced the other way.

“Oh, about that… Something came up at work, I don’t think I’ll be able to watch it this time, baby.” Jongin felt hurt but not too hurt because for some strange reason, he’d already expected this.

“But hey, I still have the ticket maybe you can ask someone else to go.” Soojung said. Jongin only had one other person in mind. Kyungsoo. Of course Kyungsoo was his best friend after all. He hasn’t seen him in a long time, perhaps he should ask him. At the back of his mind still lingers those thoughts, he remembers the dreams he’s been having recently. Maybe he shouldn’t ask the other boy.

He shook his head, no that’s ridiculous. Dreams were dreams and Kyungsoo was his best friend. Kyungsoo’s never seen Jongin perform professionally yet either, he’d ask him. He pulled out his phone and texts Kyungsoo. Fingers tapping excitingly, he didn't realize how much he missed his friend.

---

Kyungsoo pressed his key into the lock and quickly jumbled the doorknob to enter the house. Shoes were knocked off feet as Chanyeol pushed Kyungsoo against the wall and smashed their lips together. It’s raw; all tongue and teeth but maybe even a little bit of passion if you look hard enough. Kyungsoo wrapped his arms around the older boy as Chanyeol nipped along Kyungsoo’s jaw earning a low moan. They make it to the bed, somehow, a few sloppy kisses against the wall here and there and before he knows it Chanyeol pulled his shirt off and tossed it to the ground. He was a lot taller than Kyungsoo, a lot more built too. Chanyeol helped Kyungsoo slip out of his own shirt before the older boy began to map out his body with kisses. Kyungsoo flushed from the hot kisses Chanyeol laid all throughout Kyungsoo body. He pulled Chanyeol up for another kiss; twisting their tongues as Chanyeol ed Kyungsoo’s jeans. Kyungsoo liked this, liked the feeling of losing himself. Lust driving over everything and numbing all his other emotions and that’s just what he needed.

He just wanted to forget.

Kyungsoo lied in bed as Chanyeol took a shower in the bathroom next door. He can hear him, singing or maybe rapping. He’s not sure, but everyone sings in the shower so Kyungsoo doesn’t judge. He pulled out his cell phone to check the time, it was almost one in the morning and he had work tomorrow. Kyungsoo groans because he hated going to work half asleep. Before he shut off his phone he noticed a message, it was from Jongin.

[Jongin 9:38PM] Kyungsoo, I have a show tomorrow, I have an extra ticket. Do you want to come and watch? I haven’t seen you in a long time.

Kyungsoo feels his stomach turn; it’s true he hadn’t seen Jongin in a really long time. They met up a couple of times for lunch, Soojung was usually there too, but it wasn’t the same. After university Jongin began doing some small shows but it didn’t take too long for his ballet to get noticed and slowly Jongin is climbing up the ladder. Kyungsoo was sure he’ll get far, it’s Jongin after all. Kyungsoo wanted to visit Jongin but a part of him was scared. Scared of old feelings blooming once more, he didn’t want that, he refused to fall into it once more. Either way Kyungsoo was busy tomorrow, he was going to be spending most of his day work anyway.

[Kyungsoo 12:56 AM] Sorry, I have work tomorrow, maybe another time.

Kyungsoo shut off his phone and pulled his blanket over his head.

---

If there is anything Kyungso learned to like over the last two years after Jongin left, it was going to the club. He’d gone before with Jongin and his other friends but not often, rare occasions really. Now Kyungsoo finds himself going often. He liked the big crowd of strangers. You can dance with them today and forget tomorrow. He lost himself in the crowd and drowned in the heavy bass. The loud music along with the hundreds of little voices cancel each other out to a numbing buzz sound in Kyungsoo’s ear where he found peace.

It’s Friday night and Chanyeol insisted that the two of them go out so Kyungsoo fit into his favourite pair of tight black jeans and slips on a jacket before heading out. He sat down in the club waiting for Chanyeol, he didn’t really see the point of dancing when Chanyeol was coming. The two of them probably were not going to be doing any dancing.

“Hey” Kyungsoo heard a low voice and immediately turned; he knew it was Chanyeol’s. The older boy takes a seat next to Kyungsoo. “What’s up?”

“Nothing much.” Kyungsoo said because really nothing has been happening.

“That’s what you always seem to say.” Chanyeol joked.

“Well it’s true, my life’s pretty boring.” Maybe even a little depressing Kyungsoo pondered.

“Looks like you need to have some more fun then.” Chanyeol smirked. He pulls Kyungsoo into a kiss and the other obliged. Chanyeol slipped his tongue in and along the other’s mouth. Kyungsoo pulled Chanyeol’s collar and shifts himself on top of the other boy. They pulled out of the kiss for a moment to take a shallow breath before Chanyeol pulled Kyungsoo in again, he along his jawline leaving wet kisses. Kyungsoo let out a low moan.

“Kyungsoo?” Kyungsoo breaks the kiss and immediately turned to the third voice. It was him. A flood of embarrassment washed over Kyungsoo as he felt the heat rise up his neck and on his cheeks. Jongin stood in front of him, cheeks also flushed realizng he was interrupting the two of them.

“Jongin, it’s so good to see you.” Kyungsoo probably didn’t sound believable at this point. His voice was shakey and his words trailed off. Kyungsoo got off Chanyeol’s lap and sat back on his seat. He told Jongin to have a seat too. He seemed awkward but reluctantly took a seat in front of Kyungsoo and Chanyeol.

“It’s good to see you too, who’s your friend?” Jongin smiles. Kyungsoo froze, he didn’t know how to introduce Chanyeol.

“I’m Chanyeol, nice to meet you! I’m his boyfriend, as you can probably tell.” Chanyeol smiled and shook hands with the other boy. Kyungsoo felt his cheeks deepen a shade darker. He wanted to tell Jongin the truth that Chanyeol isn’t really Kyungsoo’s boyfriend. They weren’t dating. He wasn’t really sure what they were. Perhaps friends, maybe acquaintances? Chanyeol was simply convenient to Kyungsoo as was Kyungsoo to Chanyeol. He slept together but that’s about all they did. So maybe they were like buddies or friends with benefits but both of those terms made Kyungsoo cringe, he’d rather not say it like that. Kyungsoo didn’t really have any feelings for Chanyeol and he was sure Chanyeol felt the same. Besides Kyungsoo always spots Chanyeol watching the bartender here, Baekhyun. He was flirty with everyone at the club. Kyungsoo wasn’t sure why he didn’t talk to him though. He also wasn’t sure why Chanyeol lied about being his boyfriend, but he assumed he had an ulterior motive for it.

“It’s nice to meet you, I didn’t know you were dating, Kyungsoo?” Jongin smiled bright.

“It never came up.” Kyungsoo said shyly.

“Oh hey I just remembered I need to do something, I’ll let you guys catch up. I’ll see you later Kyungsoo!” Chanyeol said. It was a stupid way of excusing himself, Kyungsoo and Jongin both probably knew.

“Don’t mess this up man.” Chanyeol quickly whispered into Kyungsoo’s ear. He pat him on the back, perhaps for support before leaving so abruptly. Kyungsoo noticed him walking towards the bar, hopefully towards Baekhyun.

“So what brings you here?” Kyungsoo says. He hadn’t been alone with Jongin in ages. He felt a little bit awkward, like he needed to break the ice.

“Relieve stress, you know, same old.”

“Relieve stress? What’s so stressful?” Kyungsoo asked.

“Ah, I don’t know. I’ve been feeling tied down lately, I don’t know why. Feels weird.” Jongin said honestly. He moves over and sits beside Kyungsoo.

“How are you and Soojung?”

“Mmm, I don’t know, okay I guess.” Jongin looked down without further explnation. Kyungsoo felt guilty that he still got a little satisfaction knowing him and Soojung are having complications in their relationship. He felt pathetic, he shouldn’t feel happy because he is over this, over Jongin, he mentally tells himself.

“You can always talk to me about anything, you know, nothing’s changed.” Kyungsoo tried to cheer up Jongin. He kept his gaze down, it wasn’t completely evident in his face but Kyungsoo knew Jongin long enough to notice the sadness painted in the boy’s eyes. Jongin had generally been always happy so he could see a contrast quickly.

“Can I stay over at your place tonight? I don’t really want to go home right now.” Jongin spoke to Kyungsoo but his eyes were on the ground, it bothered Kyungsoo so much to see his friend like this.

“Of course, it’s still your place too, you know.” Mostly true, Jongin didn’t take everything with him. When Kyungsoo cleans his closet sometimes he’d find one of Jongin’s shirts he also left behind his alarm clock, it’s a stupid pororo clock but Kyungsoo secretly liked it. He left behind his DVDs and CDs, that weird vase he insisted would look nice at home, his cinnamon toothpaste, his red scarf, that pair of sunglasses he bought in the first year of university. Jongin had left a part of himself at their home.

---

They walked home together in mostly silence. Neither of them knew what to say. Jongin asked Kyungsoo how he's been doing but Kyungsoo always brushed it off and said the same old. It’s been so long and Jongin felt the need to know what Kyungsoo had been doing. Without Jongin, especially. He didn’t care if it was trivial details he simply wanted to know.

Jongin felt the nostalgia hit him as he entered their apartment. There were so many memories packed in this small one bedroom apartment. Nothing had really changed since Jongin had left. Kyungsoo didn’t seem to do any remodelling but it made Jongin feel a little happy. Like he’s taken back years into the past when they’d first moved in, he wasn’t sure why he felt a sudden longing for those days. He couldn’t explain the tightening feeling in his chest. It was already late by the time they’d gotten home so all that was really left to do was go to sleep. Kyungsoo made them a snack before going to bed, Jongin complemented Kyungsoo on his cooking. You’ve managed to get even better, Kyungsoo.

“I think you left some of your clothes here from before, so let me go find them for you to change in.” Kyungsoo said as they went to the bedroom. When they entered Jongin noticed one thing that had changed, Kyungsoo had changed their beds. Kyungsoo and Jongin’s separate single beds were gone in exchange for a large queen sized bed instead.

“Oh , I forgot about the beds. Do you mind?”

“Of course not.” Jongin wasn’t sure why Kyungsoo had to ask. If it was earlier he wouldn’t have ask, it’d be given that they’d share the bed. It nothing they haven't done in the past. He hated the formalities Kyungsoo was putting on. There wasn’t any need to be formal, they were best friends.

Kyungsoo dug around the closet until he found some of Jongin’s old sweats and a T-shirt for him to change into. After the two of them slipped into the bed, Jongin stayed up wide awake. His mind was running. So many thoughts. So many thoughts. He’s reminded again of last night, his dream. It wasn’t the first time that was for sure but it had been a while. He turned around and faced Kyungsoo, who was sleeping faced  the other way.

“Kyungsoo” Jongin said, it’s was soft barely a whisper. Kyungsoo shuffled a little.

“Yeah?”

“Are you awake?”

“No, clearly I’m asleep.” The other boy deadpanned. Jongin laughed softly.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Shoot.”

“It may sound really strange.”

“Just ask Jongin.” Jongin takes a deep breath. He was still talking to the back of Kyungsoo’s head but maybe not looking at his face is better. Less scary to ask.

“Have we ever…Kissed?” Kyungsoo doesn’t move. “Like when I- or we, were tipsy or something.” Kyungsoo stayed silent for a moment.

“What makes you think we kissed?” He hadn’t answered the question.

“It may sound strange… But I’ve had these dreams--I think they're dreams, where we’ve kissed. Everything is blurry in my mind but it seemed like we were coming home from the club. I can’t remember the details of the dream but the more I think about it the more it feels real. Like maybe it isn’t just a dream but also a memory…” Jongin felt stupid, it sounded stupid but he couldn’t help think about it. It didn’t feel like just a dream. It felt very real. He figured he didn't have much to lose since they barely see each other anyway.

“When did you first have your dreams?” Kyungsoo asked, a hint of curiosity in his voice.

“The day before the wedding but I just ignored it.”

Kyungsoo turned around now, completely baffled. He saw Jongin looking down and fiddling with his blanket. That long ago. Kyungsoo wasn’t sure what to say, wishing he’d just fall asleep right now but he knew he wouldn’t lie. Eventually one day he’d find out.

“It’s true. We were coming home on day and you were drunk and extremely hyper and it happened.” Kyungsoo looked down now, he knew what was next to come. The obvious thing to ask.

“W-why didn’t you stop me?” Of course. Kyungsoo was sure Jongin could guess the answer already, maybe he already saw it coming this whole time, that’s why he could feel the tension between the two of them.

“Why do you think, Jongin? I’m sure you know. I liked you. I couldn't bring myself to stop you.” Kyungsoo said, smiling. It was a sad smile and he could feel his eye begin to water. It was dark though, thankfully it shouldn’t be that clear. Jongin wasn't sure why the emphasis on past tense liked made his chest clench.

“It’s not like that anymore, don’t worry. You’re married and I’m not stupid.” Kyungsoo tried to clear his throat and wipe the tears forming in his eyes. He was telling the truth, it’s not like that. And as far as Jongin knew, he had Chanyeol. Kyungsoo turned his back to Jongin again and closed his eyes. “Let’s just get some sleep, okay?”

“W-wait! No!” Jongin turned Kyungsoo back around to meet their eyes. “Stop being like this to me, if it’s in the past then let it be but right now in the present, I don’t want us to drift off. You’re my best friend, Kyungsoo, and I haven’t seen you in such a so long time. Why is that? I don’t want us to be like this.” Jongin pled, he sat up from the bed and looked at Kyungsoo. It felt like everything was collapsing on Jongin, everything that held him up but he realized that he just wanted Kyungsoo to be here with him. Even if it’s all falling apart, he just wants Kyungsoo there.

Kyungsoo sat up as well, he stared at the wall for a while, he didn’t respond.

“I needed some time.” Kyungsoo whispered. Jongin was still confused but he waited for the other boy to explain. “Being with you wasn’t going to make my feelings for you go away. So I put some distance between us.”

Silence.

“But I guess I feel better now. I don’t want us to drift off either.” Kyungsoo faced Jongin and smiled. It was a genuine smile, not the formal smile. Jongin feels happiness form inside his chest, he felt all warm and fuzzy but it was amazing. He pulls Kyungsoo into a hug and held him there. Kyungsoo wraps his arms around the other boy too.

“Let’s get some sleep now, I’m so tired. Work was exhausting.” Kyungsoo laughed. Jongin smiled and nodded. Jongin fell onto the bed and finally closed his eyes until sleep took him away.

---

Kyungsoo spends more time with Jongin now. Whenever he had time Jongin was coming over to their apartment or asking him to go outside. Kyungsoo told himself that everything was normal, that they’re two friends spending time together but he still can’t stop his heart beating fast whenever Jongin texted him or his chest tightening when Jongin stod too close but Kyungsoo told himself that it means nothing.

When Kyungsooame home in the evening he found Jongin asleep on the couch with his jacket blanketing him. He has his bag next to him on the ground along with his phone on the coffee table, he appearred as if he just got off work. Kyungsoo puts away his things and joins him in the living room.

“Jongin?”  Kyungsoo whispered. He hears a mumble from Jongin but nothing more of a response. Kyungsoo doesn’t budge he knew Jongin’s probably exhausted from work. Unlike Kyungsoo’s general nine to five job, Jongin’s work involves a lot more time and effort. Dancing, after all, wasn’t easy, but Jongin loved what he did, Kyungsoo knew that’s what matters. Kyungsoo’s thoughts were interrupted by the ringing of Jongin’s phone. Jongin groaned and turned over on the couch, he puled his jacket and covred his ears as he tried to ignore it. Kyungsoo got up and picked up his phone, it’s Soojung.

“Jongin, it’s Soojung, get up.” Kyungsoo said. Jongin groaned again.

“Leave it.” Jongin mumbled as he shuffles on the couch. Kyungsoo’s contemplated picking it up anyway and giving it to Jongin but he ended up deciding against it. Jongin didn’t want to pick it up anyway and Kyungsoo didn't want to meddle in their relationship.

---     

Jongin’s not sure why he felt compelled to come to Kyungsoo’s home all the time now. Something about it felt relaxing. As if he could take a break from his life and go back to the home he lived in and just live like the way he used to, as the simply university student he was. He finds himself going there whenever he had time, sometimes Kyungsoo was home and sometimes Jongin was there alone. He would just take a nap or watch TV, nothing special and yet somehow the feeling was refreshing.

Jongin went into his bag and pulled out the spare key Kyungsoo gave him, his old key. He opened the door and looked around, it didn’t seem like anyone was home until Jongin heard the shower running from the bathroom. So Kyungsoo was probably taking a shower. Jongin considered knocking on the bathroom to let the other boy know he was here but decides not to, he’ll just surprise him instead. The idea sparked in his head, rather than surprise, he’ll scare him. Jongin smiled mischievously before dropping his bag and sneaking to the bedroom. The bedroom was conveniently located right in next to the bathroom so Jongin could hear the other boy from the here. Jongin decided that he’d hide in the room for Kyungsoo to come in. Jongin sat down against the wall hearing the echoes of the water on the other side when suddenly he heard something else. Someone actually.

Jongin froze as he heard Kyungsoo on the other side of the wall singing, he doesn’t move, feeling like any sort of movement will stop the soft voice coming from the other side of the wall. It was a little unclear from the bedroom but still, Jongin felt breathless. It was beautiful and soothing. He leaned his head against the wall and closed his eyes drowning in Kyungsoo’s melodic voice.

Jongin couldn't explain his heart beating faster as Kyungsoo began to sing only that it did.

"Baby don't cry, tonight." It was ironic because somehow Jongin felt tears peeking out. Jongin wiped them immediately not sure why he felt so moved by Kyungsoo's singing. More importantly not knowing why he wasn’t aware of Kyungsoo’s singing ability. It vexed the boy, he spent years after years with Kyungsoo but how much did he really know about him? Jongin knew his favourite order at Starbucks and that he liked extra cheese on his spaghetti but did that matter? Jongin didn't know what Kyungsoo thought about love, if he was content with his life, where he saw himself in ten years. But Jongin wanted to know, not just as a good friend but simply because it was Kyungsoo and he wanted to know about Kyungsoo.

Jongin didn't end up scaring Kyungsoo. Instead he took Kyungsoo in his arms and spent the day with him talking about the past. Talking about the future. Everything else in between.

And Jongin felt that. maybe, maybe he's falling.

---

Jongin took Kyungsoo to see his first ballet, The Nutcracker. Jongin told him it was Jongin's first ballet too.

"It was what got me into dancing. When I saw them perform I thought that, this, this is what I want to do." Jongin says proudly. They give their tickets in and take their seat near the front.

"I still don't understand why you're spontaneously taking me to watch this." Kyungsoo questioned. "Not that I mind of course."

"Spontaneous because I only found out about them performing here a couple of days ago. You because, well, I wanted you to see it." Jongin smiled wide and holds Kyungsoo's hand, his eyes form perfect crescents and he suddenly seem glow ten times brighter than anyone else in the room. Kyungsoo felt himself flush and avert his gaze.

"I'm glad."

The show was nothing like he'd expected, it was everything more and simply watching it with Jongin made it even more memorable. Jongin would whisper and explain certain dance moves the dancers had executed, telling him how it was really hard to do. He turned to Jongin who was at the edge of seat, his eyes sparkled and drank in every moment of the play; it was simply beautiful. Watching Jongin made Kyungsoo chest tighten and he could feel it. This familiar feeling; never really gone but perhaps just dormant.

He was falling, falling again.

Soon after watching The Nutcracker, Kyungsoo watched Jongin perform for the first time too. Kyungsoo’s seen Jongin perform before but not quite like this. It was usually in the studio or by himself but this was different. Jongin was a part of something now, he was small piece that fit into the big picture.

Kyungsoo found a seat close to the stage, having come earlier because the theatre had a first come first serve basis. He sat down, getting himself comfortable when a wide smile spread on his face thinking about the show. He didn’t really know too much about it since Jongin said it was a secret but just the thought of Jongin performing professionally under the bright lights of this theatre filled Kyungsoo with joy and pride. He was excited, thrilled, ecstatic. He felt his heart beating fast as the lights dimmed and the curtains drew open.

The play was a romantic one filled with sad unrequited love, the protagonist (Jongin) loving someone from afar but the ending was a happy one. Kyungsoo laughed to himself because of the irony, the play on stage almost mirrored his life except it was Jongin here who was heart-broken but at the end he was with his love. Kyungsoo wondered how his ending would be.

The performance was breath taking; every swift move crafted by Jongin’s body was filled with grace and elegance capturing every emotion so perfectly. He was swift and glided through the air and in the final moments of the play Jongin looked beautiful. When he had won the heart of his lover, the lights shined on his face so perfectly. Little droplets of sweat trickled down his forehead and down his neck which shined from the bright lights. Jongin began to sparkle, he became a star.

The curtains fell soon after and the lights turned back on. Jongin had given Kyungsoo a pass to meet him backstage so Kyungsoo quickly shuffled through the crowd to find him. Kyungsoo searched around backstage until he found Jongin changed from his costume into his sweats and hoodie. Kyungsoo walked up to him quickly and found himself wrapped in his arms.

“Hey, how’d you like the show?”

“Jongin, it was amazing, I’m taken away. I-I don’t know what to say except that I’m so proud of you. You’ve made it so far and I’m happy that I’ve seen you grow. Thank you for inviting me.” Kyungsoo stared at Jongin with twinkling eyes. Jongin had a soft smile as he looked back at Kyungsoo.

“You know, even now, you’re the only who will always support me undoubtedly.” Jongin laughed gently but it was had a bit of longing. Kyungsoo’s not sure why he felt sad hearing that.

“What do you mean only one?” Kyungsoo said quietly. What about Soojung, is what Kyungsoo meant, but he didn’t need to spell it out.

“I-I don’t really know, let’s not worry about it.” Jongin smiled looking at the ground and tugged on Kyungsoo’s arm to take him to the exit. “So this is your first time watching me, no roses?” Jongin joked.

“Oh well I was going to! But I t-thought that maybe you could come over and I could cook you dinner instead since you’re probably tired and hungry.” Kyungsoo stuttered, he wasn’t sure why he was nervous, maybe because it was usually Jongin inviting himself over rather than Kyungsoo telling Jongin to come. Jongin pulled Kyungsoo closer to him with his hands snaking around his waist making Kyungsoo’s cheeks instantly hue pink.

“Yeah that sounds a lot better than roses.”

---

She wasn't happy, Jongin knew it. Jongin lived through the day barely getting by; waking up and sleeping, a repeating the cycle until he can see Kyungsoo and forget. Because Kyungsoo makes him forget and avoid his problems. Kyungsoo makes Jongin forget that his relationship with his wife is slowly falling apart. Jongin wasn't sure when it happened, it wasn't a particular moment but really, just a slow drift.

"I don't know what I'm doing anymore. I don't know what he's doing anymore. I just- I feel so lost." Jongin overheard Soojung on the phone. He slipped into the house a moment ago, late from practice at the studio. He stood still and continued to listen because he knew that eventually he'd have to face this.

"He's working in theatre, performing in plays and what not but only like once every few months. The rest of the time he just practices alone quietly. It's not a job, it might as well be a hobby."

Silence. Jongin feels like he's been punched in the stomach but still expected as much.

"I just don't really feel happy with him anymore. I mean how could I? I'm barely even with him. He's at work when I'm home and vise versa and when our schedules don't clash he is always with Kyungsoo."

Silence.

"Yeah, Kyungsoo's his best friend. I'm friends with him too but you know, just not how he is."

Silence.

"I don't know what to do anymore."

Silence. Jongin thinks he's heard enough. He walked away from their bedroom and quietly left the house again. He's stood there for a moment, leaning against the door. Jongin wasn't very surprised, inside himself he knew this. It wasn't any different for him. He no longer felt 'happy' to come home and be with his wife, he felt rather obligated. He wasn't sure where to go, home didn't feel right but neither did Kyungsoo's home. He needed some time alone, he decided. He spent the night at his parent's house. They don't ask questions only happy to see their little boy home along with some criticizing that he never visits, it felt good. Jongin lied in his old bed, it was ages ago since he slept here but it was still felt warm and full of memories. Jongin stayed up most of the night thinking. Trying not to be rash or make any wrong decisions but when he went to sleep he dreams that dream again and Jongin knows what needs to do.

The next few days were harsh. His parents were upset but they supported Jongin's decisions and he loved them for that. He didn’t tell Kyungsoo because he wasn’t sure how to mention it. But there was no regret, that’s how Jongin knew he wasn’t making a mistake. There was no double guessing himself or fear, everything seemed right, for the better.

“I know you’re not happy, and neither am I. You’re a beautiful woman and you have a lot going for you and it’s time you found someone who can appreciate you better than I can because you do deserve it, you know that right?”

---

Kyungsoo was home on a Sunday morning and for the first time in a long time he felt sort of lonely. He hadn’t seen Jongin in a while and because he visited so often Kyungsoo had gotten used to Jongin’s company. Maybe he should meet up with some of his other friends. Maybe he should check up on Chanyeol. It’s been a long time since he’s seen him, the last time was that night in the club actually. He decided to go text the older boy.

[Kyungsoo 11:46 AM] Hey what’s up?

Just as Kyungsoo pressed send there was a knock on the door. It couldn’t be Chanyeol could it? Confused, Kyungsoo get up and opened the door.

“Jongin? What’s up?” Kyungsoo says as he sees the Jongin before him. He looked different. Kyungsoo couldn’t quite find the correct emotion that he could use to describe him but he seemed off.

“Uh, nothing, just came to hang out like usual.”

“Is everything okay? You seem weird.” Maybe it was after years of experience that gave Kyungsoo the ability to read Jongin’s face like an open book but it bother him that he couldn’t understand right now.

“Yeah yeah, I’m fine.” Jongin waved his hands in defense. Kyungsoo’s phone alarm goes off notifying a text message, Chanyeol.

[Chanyeol 11:50AM] Nothing much, haven’t seen you in a while, what’re you up to?

Kyungsoo scowled, he was going to tell Chanyeol to go out with him but now Jongin was here. Maybe he’d tell him to come over then.

“What’s up?” Jongin asked looking at Kyungsoo’s confused face.

“Oh nothing, I was just texting Chanyeol, maybe I should tell him to come over.” Kyungsoo said casually.

“Chanyeol, oh… Your boyfriend right?” Jongin asked. Oh right, Kyungsoo almost forgot. He wanted to tell Jongin the truth about them but then it made him feel pathetic. Jongin married his high school sweet heart while Kyungsoo’s been in some sort of friends with benefits relationship where the both of them are clearly in love with someone else.

“Uh yeah, do you mind if I call him over?” Kyungsoo said idly as he unlocks his phone and began to text Chanyeol.

“Do you have to?” Jongin said, his voice was low like a whisper.

“Hmm?” Kyungsoo looked up from his phone and glanced at Jongin, he lookd mad or sad. Maybe both. Kyungsoo suddenly felt confused.

“Don’t call him.” Jongin said, it was a little forced.

“Why not?”

“Because I-I don’t like him.” Jongin said, he stepped closer to Kyungsoo until he’s inches away. Kyungsoo took a small step back, confused but Jongin steps closer, subtly, until Kyungsoo has his back against the wall. Kyungsoo’s eyes were wide, Jongin didn’t say anything, only looking at Kyungsoo with anger. But Kyungsoo saw a little bit of something else in his eyes, maybe desperation.

“Why are you with him?” Jongin mumbled, barely audible.

“What do you mean, why do you care?”

“Why do I care? Why do I care?” Jongin repeated in a quiet murmur, asking himself, why did he care? Kyungsoo’s heart was racing, with every little inch Jongin got closer, Kyungsoo heart beat faster and faster to the point it felt like it would beat right out of his chest.

“Jongin… Stop, you’re acting strange.” Kyungsoo said nervously. Jongin was taller and bigger than Kyungsoo, making Kyungsoo feel so small against the wall.

“You’re right.” Jongin said. He stepped away, opening the door a leaves. Kyungsoo wanted to run after him and ask him what’s wrong but instead he just stod there, frozen, he can’t bring himself to move.

[Kyungsoo 12:10PM] Can you come over?

---

“So he pushed you against the wall and then left you?” Chanyeol summarized everything Kyungsoo had just told him. They’re sitting down on the couch while Chanyeol is lazily eating a bag of chips. Kyungsoo tried calling Jongin but the boy wouldn’t pick up so he ended up calling Chanyeol. He needed someone to talk to. Even though Kyungsoo never really spoke about Jongin to Chanyeol, the one meeting at the club was apparently enough for Chanyeol to get the idea.

“Yeah, he got mad when I mentioned you.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know! It’s because you told him we’re dating! He probably doesn’t like me dating you.”

“And why is that?” Kyungsoo opened his mouth to answer and closed it. Why was that anyway? Did Chanyeol look like a bad guy to Jongin? Kyungsoo looked at him, he was in a hoodie and jeans with his glasses on, he made a mess with his chips which Kyungsoo wanted to yell at him for but he doesn’t look particularly menacing. Kyungsoo admitted Chanyeol looked sort of stupid sometimes (particularly when he’s laughing) but not mean, he wasn’t mean and he’s not sure how that could even get Jongin so upset. Jongin rarely got upset.

“I think I know why.” Chanyeol smiled mischievously.

“Why?” Kyungsoo said, eyes wide, waiting for an explanation.

“Won’t tell. Jongin’s gotta tell you himself. I don’t want to ruin it.”

“Ruin what?”

“Your little love story, just don’t worry. Give him some time. If he’s not responding to you that means he needs some space but don’t worry, things will fall into place, Kyungsoo.” Chanyeol smiled, the weird smile that made him look stupid but it was still a reassuring smile. Kyungsoo trustedChanyeol’s words. Chanyeol ruffled his hair like one would to a little kid earning a punch in the stomach from the younger.

“Okay, I believe you.” Kyungsoo smiled while readjusting his hair. “So how are things with you? Have you talked to Baekhyun yet?” Chanyeol suddenly turned beet red as Kyungsoo mentioned the cute bartender.

“W-what are you talking about?”

“Chanyeo,l you’re always watching him. I understand.” Chanyeol smiled nervously and fixed his gaxe on the ground.

“Yes we talk a lot now. That night.. When I last saw you at the club, when I saw you with Jongin I could tell you liked him which is why I told him we were dating I wanted to see if maybe he’d get jealous not to mention it'd probably be weird to tell him we weren't dating since we were, you know, making out but anyway, I thought it was nice, you had a chance with the person you liked and I thought maybe I shouldn’t waste mine.” Chanyeol was looking down fiddling with his fingers, his cheeks were still red and honestly, he looks adorable, Kyungsoo can’t lie. He could see the way Chanyeol was head over heels.

“I’m so happy for you guys.” Kyungsoo said earnestly.

“Nothing’s official yet, don’t get me wrong! We’re just friends right now.” Chanyeol rubbed the back of his neck. “I don’t know actually, it’s all weird but a good weird.”

Kyungsoo was happy to hear Chanyeol talk about Baekhyun, to see his progression. He knew Chanyeol was a good guy and definitely good for Baekhyun (Kyungsoo just so happens to know he’s good in bed too, so he’s sure Baekhyun will enjoy) but Kyungsoo’s mind was stuck on something Chanyeol had said.

‘you had a chance with the person you liked’

Kyungsoo’s been lying to himself about his feeling for Jongin. Nothing really changed did it? He spent what felt like forever trying to forget Jongin but then Jongin walts back into his life and any feeling Kyungsoo had tried to supress was reborn again. He was in love with Jongin, always was. But what chance did Kyungsoo have? He became close to Jongin but Jongin wasn’t his, he was Soojung’s. Kyungsoo felt a heavy weight in his chest. It was familiar and painful. The feeling of unrequited love had hit him again, perhaps it would’ve been better to stay ignorant to his feelings; it kept him happy.

---

Jongin was an idiot. How naïve could he be. He’s no longer married with Soojung and he thinks his life with Kyungsoo would just happily fall into place. Jongin didn’t reply to Kyungsoo for the last few days. He didn’t really do anything for the last few days. He sat in his old room and slept. And when he didn’t sleep he went to the studio. That was all. He didn’t know what he really could do.

He’s spent all his life with Kyungsoo and now things have changed.

Now he’s fallen in love.

Jongin his phone to see a message. He hadn’t replied to any of Kyungsoo’s message that day he ran from his house and eventually Kyungsoo stopped sending any but he was surprised to see this one was from Kyungsoo.

[Kyungsoo 11:31PM] I’ll wait, you can talk to me when you’re ready. I’ll be here.

Jongin felt his chest tighten. It didn’t feel right. Somehow Jongin knew he owed Kyungsoo an explanation. He owed him the truth. Kyungsoo had gone through so much because of Jongin and he felt like he needed to tell Kyungsoo the truth. Jongin got out of bed. It was late but Jongin’s barged into the other’s house even later in the past.

Jongin left.

---

Kyungsoo was just about to fall into bed when he hears the door knock. He doesn’t want to get his hopes up but there’s only one person he knows who would come to his house at this time. Kyungsoo walks towards the door nervously, not sure what to expect. When he opens the door he sees an exhausted Jongin in front of him.

“Jongin?”

"Is it too late?" Jongin says, breath still heavy. Kyungsoo stopped. 

"Too late for what?"

"To fall in love with my best friend." Jongin paused. He took a step forward, Kyungsoo doesn't move. "Because I think I already did."

Jongin moved forward, closer. He was an inch away from the boy and he knew it’s do or die now. He cupped Kyungsoo's face and pressed his lips to the other. It was a gentle kiss, ever so softly. Jongin kept his eyes closed and presses a little further. He felt something wet on his hands as he holds the smaller boy.

Kyungsoo wished he wasn't crying right now.

Jongin felt he heart beat faster. It was beating so fast and the feeling was overwhelming as his fingers caressed Kyungsoo and wiped his tears. He wrapped his arms around him feeling his shirt get damp. It didn't matter though. He rested his head on the crook of the other boy’s neck. He felt the tears streaming down his own face now.

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." Jongin mumbled apologies. Sorry. I'm sorry. I hurt you so much. I’m so stupid. Kyungsoo didn't know what to say. He clutched on to Jongin's shirt in front of him. He wasn't sure why he was crying, maybe because this all seemed surreal.

He hated Jongin. Kyungsoo worked so hard the last two years putting himself back together, to forget Jongin. But Jongin came back into his life with all smiles and smooth moves and broke the walls Kyungsoo built.

"Shut up." Kyungsoo wiped his tears, telling Jongin to stop apologizing. He pulled on Jongin's collar and crushes their lips together.

This is what Chanyeol had meant. Everything would fall into place. Kyungsoo laughed in between his tears.

“I know, I’m selfish, I’ve made you suffer for so long but Kyungsoo, don’t leave me.” Jongin cupped Kyungsoo’s face in his hand, desperation seeped through his words. Kyungsoo felt more tears swell up because Jongin didn’t understand that Kyungsoo couldn’t leave even if he wanted to.

Kyungsoo fell asleep in Jongin’s arms that night. He explained that Chanyeol isn’t really his boyfriend and Jongin explained his divorce. Jongin thought Kyungsoo was an idiot for lying and Kyungsoo worried if Jongin’s really ready for this. But it was okay, Kyungsoo decides it’s not worth living in the past, the present is now, and now he and Jongin were in love so he’ll stay content with just that because that is all he needs. It was only at the end of Jongin’s play when Jongin’s character is truly happy, that’s why it was his happy ending but for Kyungsoo and for Jongin it wasn’t their happy ending, it was their happy beginning.

author's note--

I will post another chapter after this! Because hey after a happy ending I think you need some hot yy times so I'll have a another little chapter. ANNNND thank you all for subscribing and commenting, it's filled me with joy, please let me know what you think! (/ω＼)