Iseul’s POV

 “I’ll be back soon. Look after him, yea? This is my number. Call me if anything happens.” I said to the nurse in-charge.

On the way home, I headed to the supermarket to buy some ingredients to cook him porridge.

“You’re back early. Not feeling well or something?” My dad asked, looking at me, surprised.

“You’re unwell?” My mom asked, walking out from the kitchen.

“I’m perfectly fine.” I smiled.

“Doodoo is hospitalized.” I said.

“What happened to him?” My mom asked, voice overflowing with concern.

“Is he okay?” My dad asked.

“Got hurt during filming. Not in a serious condition, but painful I guess. Burns and cuts here and there.” I said.

“Should we go visit him?” My mom asked.

“Nah~ It’s fine. He’ll be out tomorrow. I’ ll just cook him porridge and perhaps stay with him for the night.” I said.

She wiggled her eyebrows at me.

“Umma! Are you having cramps there!?” I cupped her face.

“You are the one having cramps. Feeling cramps.” She laughed.

“Aish!!” I grumbled as I stomped up the stairs.

“You know it best yourself!” She shouted.

“Doodoo is my BEST friend!” I yelled back.

“Your Daddy is my best friend too!” She grinned.

“RAWR!!” I stuck out my tongue.

I busied myself in the kitchen, preparing beef porridge for Doojoon.

“Smells good. Do we get a share?” My dad asked, peeking his head into the kitchen.

“Sure.” I smiled.

“I want to be your best friend too.” He said.

“What?” I laughed.

“You’ve never cooked for us, but you even went to buy ingredients just to cook for him.” He said.

“Appa! Enough!” I pouted.

“What? What? I am just saying! I know, Doojoonie is your best friend. I know.” He smiled, but behind his smile it meant something else.

I scooped him a bowl of porridge and handed it to him.

“Eat it, eat it!” I shooed him out.

“Chasing your Appa out because of your best friend! I told you its more beneficial being your best friend!” He teased.

“Noooooooo!!!” I whined.

He laughed and headed outside.

“Stupid Doodoo! All your fault.” I grumbled under my breath.

After I was done with the cooking, I put the porridge in a Tupperware before going off.

“Did he wake up?” I asked the nurse as I arrived.

“Nope, still sleeping very soundly.” The nurse smiled.

“Thanks.” I said as I handed her snacks to share among the other nurses before going in to where Doo was.

I moved as gently as possible so as not to wake him up. I felt his forehead for any fever in fear of infection, but thankfully, he felt okay.  I sat down next to him, watching him sleep. I took out the hearing aid in his bag and stared at it.

/FLASHBACK

 “Come with me!” Doojoon said, grabbing my arm.

“Let go! Who are you to tell me what to do!?” I pushed him away.

“As your friend, I’m telling you to come back with me. NOW!” He yelled into my face.

I slapped him across his face.  He stared at me in shock.

“You…” He muttered.

“What? Surprised?” I asked.

I rolled my eyes at him and looked away.

“Come back with me, Iseul ah. Your parents are worried. What are you doing in a place like that? What went wrong? You were not like that in the past.” He said.

“I am hopeless like that. You may want to go further just in case you get associated with me and it tarnishes your reputation.” I said.

“I never thought that way.” He muttered.

“Just go away, Yoon Doojoon. Leave me to be.” I said.

“No way.” He said, grabbing my arm tightly.

“Let go now. Or if I scream, you’re going to get it.” I threatened him.

“Sure. Anything. Do whatever you please. Just as long as you come back with me.” He said.

“What are you trying to prove here by acting like that!?” I yelled into his face.

“That you are my friend and I love and care for you very much?” He said.

I spat into his face.

“Friends? What friends? Come on, Doojoon ah. Forget it, okay?” I said.

“How could you say things like that so easily?” He asked.

“What rights do you have to call me your friend!? You’re now all handsome and on the route to fame, why would you want a friend like me? The five guys are enough for you. You don’t need another burden.” I said.

“Who said you’re a burden?” He asked.

“If you treat me as a friend, then leave me to be. I’m very happy like that. I like the club. I meet a lot of people. I receive a lot of love. It’s almost like you, no? You meet people and receive a lot of love too. Just that mine is in a club and yours is on stage.” I said.

“You were not like that. What happened?” He asked.

“Nothing happened, Doojoon. I have and will always be like that.” I said.

He shook his head.

“What do you know about me? You know nothing. The Iseul you think you know is a just a cover. This is the real Iseul. Rotten like that. Are you ashamed?” I asked.

“I would never be.” He said softly.

“Good for you. Let me go. I have work to do.” I said.

“No. Don’t go back in there, Iseul ah. Your parents are worried, and…” I kicked him in his stomach before he could finish talking.

He fell to the ground, groaning in pain.

“Stop bootlicking my parents. If you like them so much, then go register yourself under my family registry. They’ll be more than happy to have a successful son like you rather than a rotten daughter like me.” I said.

“Stop saying that about your parents! They have never thought like that! What’s wrong with you!?” He shouted at me.

I smiled at him.

“Is something wrong?” A voice from behind me asked.

I turned to find my gang leader friend looking at us.

“No.” I said.

“Is he harassing you?” He asked.

“No. Let’s go.” I said, tugging onto his arm.

“You are a smart girl, Iseul ah! You have eyes too, and the last time I checked, they were working well!” Doojoon said.

“What are you trying to imply?” My friend asked, pushing Doojoon to the wall.

I should stop him, but for some reason, I did not.

“Just look at yourself. Do you think you’re a good influence to Iseul?” Doojoon asked. Shut up, Doojoon ah. You have no idea what you are getting yourself into.

“Iseul doesn’t need a like you to teach her how to live her life.” He said.

“Well, she doesn’t need a man like you to…” I pulled my friend away before Doojoon could finish.

I slapped him twice and kicked him in his chest.

“ off, Doojoon. Who do you think you are to be here controlling my life? If you’re not happy with the way I live, then look away. Besides, it’s not like it would affect you in any way even if I get myself killed on the streets. Just off, okay?” I said coldly.

“How can you say this? We’re…” I cut him off again.

“No. We’re not friends. As of this moment, we’re not friends. I don’t like ing nerds like you. And seriously, Doojoon, maybe you want to give up auditioning. You know how people always say to give yourself three chances and if you still don’t succeed, it means you’re not cut out for it. Give up already. With this horrendous face, lousy pronunciation and irritating voice, even if they do debut you, you are not going to last long. Being with the group of loser friends, you think you guys would really make it big? Come on~” I insulted him.

He was visibly hurt by my words, but I could not be bothered.

“Do you know why people recycle things? Because they have no money to buy new stuff, and they do not want to appear poor, so they come up with this glamorous explanation but we all know what it means deep down inside. You and your group of friends, you guys fit that definition perfectly. They are taking pity on you guys that’s why they are training you and giving you hope that you’ll debut some day. But you are aware of it, aren’t you? You’re terrible. From head to toe, you are just gross.” I said.

I could see tears watering in his eyes.

“Ahh~ Cry. That’s all you can do? Cry and go back to Umma? Look at you. A little bit of insult and you’re already trembling like that.” I continued.

“Don’t waste your breath on this loser. Let’s go in and get a drink.” My friend said as he put his arm over my shoulders.

“Iseul ah~” Doojoon called out, grabbing my hand.

“I SAID NOT TO TOUCH ME!!!” I yelled, pushing him away with whatever strength I have.

I had pushed him out onto the streets. Little did I know, there was a motorcycle speeding into his direction. Even before I could scream, I watch Doojoon get knock down by the speeding bike. He was thrown towards the lamppost not far from us where it broke his fall.

“DOODOO!!!!!!!!!!” I yelled as I ran towards him.

He was still conscious but looked shocked.

“Doo! Can you see me? Are you okay!?” I shook him.

He nodded, staring at me blankly.

“Come on, Iseul ah~ Let’s go. It’s just a little knock. He wouldn’t die.” My friend said.

“ off! Get the hell back inside!” I yelled at him.

“Where are you hurt? Huh?” I asked, checking his body for injuries.

He had a bleeding bruise on his cheekbone, his skin on his arm was peeling and bleeding grossly, his legs had a few cuts and scratches.

“I’ll send you to the hospital. Can you walk?” I asked, helping him up.

He was still looking at me blankly.

“Come.” I said, helping him stand forcefully.

In the hospital, the doctor patched him up and advised him to be hospitalized for a day. He also told me that he is suffering from a mild brain concussion due to the hard impact on his head when he was thrown onto the lamppost. He warned me that he might be nauseous or experience headaches but it was all part of it. When I was done with registering him and informing his parents, I went to where he was. He was asleep soundly. I sat beside him, studying his face.

“You’re very handsome, Doojoon ah.” I said, touching his features.

He only woke up the next day. I was asleep in a sitting position on the sofa when his coughing awaked me.

“Are you okay?” I pat his back gently as I poured him a glass of water.

“Drink slowly.” I said.

“Better?” I asked when he was done.

He nodded with a small smile.

“Why are you smiling like that?” I laughed.

“You care for me.” He said.

I looked away, embarrassed.

“Iseul ah, I…” He said softly.

“I did not mean any of the insults I threw at you last night.” I said.

He smiled and shook his head.

“I’m serious. I did not mean anything I said. I’m sorry.” I apologized.

“But… what you say is true.” He said.

I shook my head.

“It’s not. It’s really not. You’re so ing handsome I can’t even…” I said.

He laughed, but winced when it hurt him.

“Are you okay?” I asked worriedly.

“Don’t go back there anymore, Iseul ah. That place is not for you. You are not like that.” He said.

He is right. I am not like that. I should not be there. But not there, then where?

“Then where can I go, Doo? I’m not as smart as you. I flunk everything. No school will accept me. I’m hopeless.” I said.

“You’re not. You’re not.” He insisted.

“Let’s drop it, okay?” I said.

“If you want to go back there, then you better prepare for my regular visits.” He said.

“You’re so busy. Where would you have time for me?” I scoffed.

“I’ll make time. ‘I have no time’ is a ed up excuse. We have 24 hours in a day, if we really want to do something, we’ll do it no matter what. Even if we are so dead tired, we’ll drag ourselves to do it. It’s not about having no time, it’s about wanting to do it or not. And in my case, I want to do it, so even if I have to crawl there, I’ll crawl.” He said.

I felt tears sting the back of my eyes.

“Are you stupid or what!?” I shouted at him.

“Maybe?” He smiled.

I smacked his arm. His face scrunched up in discomfort.

“Sorry~” I stuck out my tongue.

“What is a little pain if I can get my best friend back?” He said.

“You’re an idiot.” I said.

“I’m serious, Iseul ah. If you go back there, I’ll just come to you every night. If I get knocked down by cars, motorcycles, an airplane, whatever… I’ll still go.” He said.

“But I…” I muttered.

“There’s always a way. I’ll help you, if you let me.” He said, holding my hand.

I went to the other side of his bed and squeezed myself in with him. He smiled and gladly let me take up his space.

“Thank you.” I whispered into his ear.

I was surprised when he showed no response. Usually he would jump when I whisper into his ear. He found it ticklish and I enjoyed teasing him like that.

“Doojoon?” I whispered again.

“Doojoon, can you hear me?” I whispered again when he did not respond.

I stare in horror as he continued staring at his fingers as if I had not said anything. My tears fell. Did he lose his hearing? Or is he ignoring me?

“Why are you crying?” He asked, looking surprised when he turned over and saw me crying.

“You… Did you… hear what I said… just now?” I asked.

“Did you say anything?” He asked.

“I’m calling the doctor.” I said as I ran out.

He looked confused when the doctor came and took him for a scan and did all sorts of tests on him.

“What’s going on?” He asked, looking exhausted.

I had no idea how to break it to him.

“Just rest for now.” I forced a smile.

“it’s my body. I have the rights to know.” He said.

“Rest.” I said, tucking him into bed.

He was too tired to defy me. I waited anxiously for the doctor to return.

“How is it?” I asked worriedly.

“It seems like he is suffering from a temporary hearing loss due to the trauma his head received when he hit the lamppost.” The doctor said.

“You didn’t say he…” I muttered.

“It did not look that serious before, but now that we looked closer with scans and in-depth tests, it shows.” He said.

“Is he going to regain his hearing?” I asked.

“In most cases, he should recover in two months, or the most, six.” He said.

“So, he’ll regain his hearing?” I asked again.

“In most cases, yes.” He said.

“How about in other cases?” I asked.

“Huh?” He looked at me.

“Didn’t he say in most cases, I’ll regain my hearing. I’m a very normal person. Nothing unique will happen to me.” Doojoon said suddenly, smiling at me.

He was awake and had heard everything. Should I be happy that I need not break the news to him myself?

“Thank you.” He thanked the doctor.

“I’m so sorry.” I cried when the doctor left.

“Hey~ Why are you crying? It’s fine It’s just two months, at most six. And besides, I still hear you with my right ear.” He consoled me.

Every month, I go to the doctor with him, but every time we would leave disappointed. There was no improvement at all.

“YOU SAID SIX MONTHS AT MAX!!!!!!! IT’S BEEN EIGHT MONTHS NOW!!!” I yelled, grabbing the doctor by his collar.

“I said in most cases!” He defended himself, looking scared.

“Sorry, sorry. Iseul! Enough!” Doojoon dragged me out of the room.

I collapsed onto the floor and broke down.

“Iseul ah~” Doojoon hugged me, letting me cry into his chest.

“I’m so, so, so sorry. What do we do now with you like that? I’m so sorry.” I cried hard.

“Shhhh~ It’s okay.” He smoothed my hair.

“It’s not okay! It’s not! It’s not!!” I cried.

Why is he consoling me when in fact he was the one who needed it the most? Doojoon, are you mad?

“I’m used to it already, Iseul ah~ It’s fine. I’m okay. I kind of like only listening with one ear. It’s not so noisy and I can hear things more clearly with no other disruption.” He smiled.

He was just trying to make me feel better.

“It’s all my fault.” I mumbled.

“It’s not. I lost my footing that day. I stumbled out on the road on my own. Did you really think you’re that strong to push me? Hahaha! Dream on!” He laughed.

I looked at him. He was smiling and laughing, but what is really going on deep inside in, I have no idea. I used to have an idea, but his overoptimistic attitude is scary.

“Doojoon ah, I…” He cut me off before I could finish.

“Let’s go get some food, shall we? I’m starving.” He said.

“Doojoon.” I called out.

He turned back to look at me.

“Or maybe, we should go get a hearing aid instead?” He asked, letting the tears that he must have been holding back for a long time fall finally.

“I’m so sorry.” I hugged him tightly.

/END OF FLASHBACK

I snapped out of my thoughts when I felt someone touch my face. Doojoon was awake and looking at me worriedly.

“Why are you crying?” He asked.

“Huh? I.. I.. Erm.. Nothing. Just..” I mumbled as I hurriedly wiped off my tears.

“I erm.. made you porridge. Beef porridge. Want to eat some?” I asked.

“Sure. I’m so damn hungry.” He chuckled.

“I’ll go get them heat it up.” I said.

When I came back, I saw him fumbling with the hearing aid, trying to put it on but his arm was injured.

“Come, I’ll do it.” I said, giving him a helping hand.

“Is it okay?” I asked after I was done.

He nodded and smiled.

“Thanks.” He said.

“You’re still using this old one.” I said.

“You bought it for me. I’ll use it even if it’s spoil.” He said.

“Are you crazy or what?” I laughed.

“Yea. Crazy for you.” He said.

I laughed and rolled my eyes at him.

“Did your mom cook this?” He asked as I fed him.

“NO! I did, okay!” I said.

“I never knew you could cook.” He said.

“I was alone for three years, Doodoo~ Sometimes we have to learn some stuff whether we like it or not.” I said.

He smiled and continued to eat.

“Is this all?” He asked when he had finished everything.

“Yea. You’re still hungry?” I asked.

“Kind of.” He said, blushing slightly.

“Shall we go down for more food then?” I asked.

“Go down?” He asked.

Oh right. He can’t. He will be mobbed.

“I’ll go buy you food then. What do you want to eat?” I asked.

“Anything.” He smiled. That means, buy me everything you think I would like.

“I’ll be back.” I said.

I headed downstairs and got him some sandwiches and other pastries. When I came back, he was poking on his iPad, playing some sort of game.

“Yay! Food!” He squealed happily when I took out what I bought.

“Your appetite grew in three years.” I .

“It’s not that. I haven’t eaten since yesterday afternoon.” He said as he stuffed his mouth with bread.

“What?” I asked, shocked.

“We were busy filming and…” I cut him off before he finished speaking.

“It’s not an excuse!” I yelled.

He stared at me with wide eyes.

“Firstly you don’t put on your hearing aid, and next you starve!? Are you trying to get yourself killed!?” I scolded him.

He shook his head, looking so adorable I cannot seem to go on yelling at him.

I sighed and wiped the corner of his mouth.

“I mean, you got to eat, right?” I said calmly.

He nodded, cheeks still stuffed with bread.

“Stop looking at me like that! Just swallow your food.” I laughed.

I watch him eat hungrily, wiping his mouth every now and then. He still eats messily, like a little boy.

“Eat slowly. It’s all yours.” I laughed.

He smiled awkwardly, but continued stuffing his cheeks with food.

“Doojoon ah~” I called out.

“Hmm?” He looked at me. I burst into laughter picturing him as a hamster.

He narrowed his eyes at me.

“Sorry, sorry.” I said.

“Doojoon, I…” I sighed.

“What?” He asked, finally swallowing his food.

“I am…” He covered my mouth, not letting me speak.

“If you’re going to say ‘Doojoon ah, I’m sorry.’, then save it. I rather hear ‘Doodoo, do you want more food?’.” He said.

“But I’m really…” I looked down.

“No. Okay? No. Don’t be sorry. It’s not your fault. It never was. And besides, I see this as a blessing in disguise.” He said, pointing to his left ear.

“Sometimes when people say mean stuff about us, about me, I have the luxury to literally switch my hearing off.” He smiled.

“Who says mean stuff about you guys? Who? Tell me? I’ll have them sent to my operating table so I can work my hands on them!” I pouted.

He laughed and shrugged his shoulders.

“You guys are the most precious group in the industry. I’m not saying this because you guys are my friends, but because I personally believe in effort. You showed everyone that with determination and effort, nothing is impossible. You guys are hope for people who cannot see the light.” I said, cupping his cheeks.

 “But while you always give it your all, it is time you receive what you deserve too. And you do not deserve those harsh words from clueless people. Some people say mean things just for the sake of saying it, and one day their words would come back and haunt them. I want you to know that you don’t deserve any of those because you worked hard, all of you did, and all you guys deserve are none other than love and praises.” I said.

He smiled and looked away shyly.

“Ayeee~” He responded, smacking me like a girl.  

Doojoon ah, you were my light when darkness engulfed my world. You forced me out of the wreck I landed myself into and literally pushed me onto the right path. I do not deserve a friend like you, but you never once left me. I am thankful to you, but at the same time, I wish you did not do what you did, then perhaps, your life today would be much different. 

***
Friend: Iseul doesn’t need a like you to teach her how to live her life.

Iseul: No. We’re not friends. As of this moment, we’re not friends.

Iseul: You’re terrible. From head to toe, you are just gross

Iseul: It’s not. It’s really not. You’re so ing handsome I can’t even…

Iseul: Eat slowly. It’s all yours.

Iseul: You guys are hope for people who cannot see the light.