“i love you, Jessica. So much..”

 

The record of the voice was played continously by Jessica. She pressed the speaker to her ear, and didn’t get tired of this. Tears rolled down her cheeks, and she didn’t bother to wipe it. She closed her eyes and cried even more.

 

 

“Jessi..”

 

“yes, baby?”

 

“i need to talk..”

 

“why so serious, honey? What’s wrong?”

 

“......”

 

“Tiff?”

 

“let’s break up..”

 

“what?”

 

“i’m serious, this isn’t right. We both girls, and we’re not supposed to be together..”

 

“but-“

 

“i’m moving out tonight..”

 

 

“if you think that it’s all wrong, why did you accept me in the first place?” Jessica sobbed hardly

 

 

Jessica remembered clearly when her girlfriend moved out from her apartment that night. She remembered clearly the night when she begged on her knees for her girlfriend to stay, but the girl ignored her and keep walking out from the place.

 

 

“class, listen!! This is Tiffany Hwang, new transferred student from United States. Be good to her, okay?” the teacher introduced Tiffany in front of the class, and Tiffany happened to be sitting next to Jessica

 

 

“hi, i’m Tiffany..” Tiffany extended her hand

 

“i-i’m Jessica..” Jessica stuttered, hypnotized by Tiffany’s beauty

 

“well, nice to meet you, Jessica..” Tiffany smiled, showing her eyesmile

 

“n-nice to meet you too..” Jessica replied, and she was sure she got paralysed that time

 

 

Jessica remembered the first time she met her girlfriend. She knew, she wouldn’t be able to be apart from that girl. All she wanted to do was to see those beautiful eyes and that beautiful smile everyday.

 

 

“who caused this???” the teacher asked angrily to his students

 

“......”

 

“i said, who caused this??? Who caused this chaos????” the teacher aske again, scarier than before

 

Tiffany who actually caused the chaos. She fought with one of the student, because that girl mocked Tiffany’s family. And Tiffany wouldn’t stay still.

 

“it’s me, sir. I’m sorry..” Jessica stepped forward, and Tiffany looked in surprise

 

“come with me to my office, now!!!” with that, Jessica ended up running around the football field, when actually Jessica couldn’t run at all

 

 

Jessica sobbed hardly with the memory. Beautiful memory. She never regretted doing that. She would even regret if she didn’t do anything to protect Tiffany.

 

 

“Tiffany!!! Watch out!!!!” Jessica rushed to protect Tiffany, someone threw a vase from upstairs

 

“Jessica!!! Tiffany!!!” few of their friends shouted in shock

 

Jessica released the hug, then cupped Tiffany’s face. With blurry eyes and a great pain in her head, she stared at the other girl.

 

“you okay?” Jessica managed to say

 

“i-i’m okay..” Tiffany nodded

 

“good..” Jessica smiled faintly then collapsed onto the ground, losing all of consciousness

 

 

Without she noticed, someone had entered her room. The person frowned, seeing Jessica in this state. She sighed, and took the phone away from Jessica.

 

 

“when will you stop being like this, Sica?”

 

“Hyoyeon?” Jessica startled

 

“you cry again..”

 

“......”

 

“aren’t you gonna go for work?”

 

“......”

 

“it’s been 2 days since you take days off..”

 

“......”

 

Hyoyeon sighed, “have you taken your pills?”

 

“......”

 

“i just wanna remind you to take your pills, since you never replied my messages and answered my calls..”

 

“i’m fine, Hyo..”

 

“you’re not, stop pretending..”

 

“......”

 

“......”

 

“......”

 

“i’ll just take some water..”

 

“......”

 

 

Hyoyeon decided to go to the kitchen since she got no response from Jessica. But when she was about to go, she heard a loud thud. And when she turned around, she found her friend on the ground unconscious.

 

 

“Sica!!” 

 

---

 

 

 

Hyoyeon was Jessica’s colleague. She didn’t care about Jessica at first, until she saw Jessica collapsed after work, and she found out that Jessica had a cancer. Hepatocellular Carcinoma. Typical of Liver Cancer.

Hyoyeon felt a pity towards Jessica, but then it changed. She and the other friends of Jessica were really care towards her. Moreover, when they figured out that Jessica lived alone without family, and they found out that her girlfriend left her for stupid reason. But still, what Jessica needed was her girlfriend. She needed her girlfriend to live.

 

 

“are you, Tiffany Hwang?”

 

“yes, and who are you?”

 

“i’m Hyoyeon, and she’s Sooyoung. We’re Jessica’s colleagues..”

 

“uhm sorry, but you get the wrong place. Jessica isn’t here..”

 

“we want to tell you that she’s sick. She needs you..”

 

“sick?”

 

“yes, Liver Cancer..”

 

“what?”

 

“she’s dying, and she refuses to take the surgery. If you don’t mind, please talk to her. Tell her to take the surgery..”

 

“......”

 

“......”

 

“where’s she?”

 

---

 

 

 

“why don’t you just take the surgery, Sica?”

 

Jessica sighed, “i have no reason to live, Sooyoung..”

 

“you should try to move on..”

 

“i can’t. My heart beats only for Tiffany. She leaves me, that means my heart can’t beat anymore. So it’s better for me to die..”

 

 

 

“Jessi..” Tiffany entered the hospital room and found Jessica sleeping with oxygen mask and some wires connected to her body

 

Tiffany stepped closer to the sleeping figure, her hands trembling as her tears escaped freely from her eyes. She still loved Jessica to be honest. That’s why she always avoided her boyfriend everytime he talked about marriage. She realized that she was so stupid for leaving Jessica, but she just couldn’t come back to the certain girl although she really wanted it.

 

 

 

“i’m sorry, Jessica..”

 

 

---

 

 

 

Days passed, and it’s been 3 days since Jessica lost her consciousness. And for Tiffany, she stayed in the hospital, and never left the other girl’s side. She thought of breaking up with her boyfriend. And she wondered, would Jessica accept her again?

 

 

“Jessica??” Tiffany came back to her sense when she saw Jessica opened her eyes slowly

 

“Jessi, you’re up. I’ll call doctor, okay?” Tiffany was about to go, but Jessica held her hand

 

“stay..” Jessica said weakly behind the oxygen mask

 

“but-“

 

“please..”

 

---

 

 

 

“you should eat, Jess..”

 

“i’m not hungry..”

 

 

It’s been 2 days since Jessica woke up, but doctor hadn’t allowed Jessica to go home. And Tiffany, still in Jessica’s side. They acted like there was nothing happened between them before. They acted like when they were in the past, as girlfriends.

Neither of them wanted to talk about that. For Jessica, she wanted to enjoy this moment, because she thought Tiffany would probably leave her again later. And for Tiffany, she didn’t dare to talk about it, because she didn’t want Jessica to reject her for being there.

 

 

“Jess..”

 

“hmm?”

 

“......”

 

“what?” Jessica was confused because Tiffany stared at her with unusual look

 

 

“do you still love me?” Tiffany managed to say

 

“i do..” Jessica said without hesitation

 

“really?”

 

“yes..”

 

 

“then, please take the surgery..”

 

“......”

 

“please, Jessi..”

 

“......”

 

“i’ll stay with you after that, and we can be together. I won’t leave you again..” Tiffany pleaded

 

“don’t..”

 

“huh?”

 

“don’t push yourself to me..”

 

“but-“

 

“i’ll take the surgery, and i want you to be happy. So please, don’t force yourself to stay with me if you don’t want to..” Jessica said firmly

 

---

 

 

 

“are you happy with him?”

 

“......”

 

“stupid me, of course you’re happy..” Jessica chuckled bitterly

 

“Jess..”

 

“look, i’m happy to see you again. I want you to stay healthy and please take a good care of yourself, because i don’t think i can make it..”

 

“Jessi, please..” Tiffany said almost pleaded

 

 

“my life is nothing without you, that’s why i choose to die when you left me. I’d rather ignore the surgery and die slowly than living a life without you in it. When you walked out of my life, i can’t see anything but darkness..” Jessica said, sadness visible in her eyes

 

“......”

 

“i was a mess before you came. But when i met you, i can see the light that i’ve been searching for. You’ve changed my life into a better one..”

 

“......”

 

“and when you became a part of my life, i can’t feel anything but happiness. Eventhough my life still going upside down, but seeing you and hearing your voice everyday could enlighten my day..” Jessica bit her bottom lip, holding back her tears that threatened to fall

 

“......”

 

“you’re everything to me, but maybe fate chose you not to be with me..”

 

“stop it..” Tiffany couldn’t help it anymore, her tears already rolled down her cheeks

 

 

“you always chose the best. So, when you chose him over me, i know he’s the best for you. Meanwhile, when you were with me, i realised i wasn’t the right decision. And you need to find someone better..”

 

“please stop..”

 

“i really do love you, Tiffany. Thank you for coming into my life and make it perfect. Never been in my life thought of regretting all of these. Because loving you is the best thing i’ve ever done..”

 

“i said stop!!!” Tiffany screamed, not wanting to hear Jessica’s words anymore

 

“If goodbye will be the last word I have to say before I die, I wouldn’t let it be spoken. I’d rather die than to say goodbye to you, the person that I don’t want to give up even after eternal life..” with that, Jessica’s tears escaped freely from her eyes

 

 

“you don’t know what i truly feel, Jessi. I realised that the person who could love me best is you, and i realised that what i really want is to be with you. But i never have the courage to come back, because i thought i don’t deserve you anymore..”

 

“......”

 

“i broke your heart, so i thought you would never accept me again. That’s why i decided to stay with him..”

 

“you know it’s not true, Tiff..” Jessica squeezed Tiffany’s hand gently

 

“i love you so much, Jessica. And i’m so sorry for what i’ve done..”

 

“......”

 

“please stay, and don’t leave me. Promise me you’ll through the surgery well, and recovery soon. So, we can start all over again..”

 

“......”

 

“please, Jessi....please..” Tiffany said, and this time, completely pleaded

 

 

“excuse me, Ms.Jung. It’s time to go to the operation room..” a nurse came, interrupting them

 

“give me a minute, please..” Jessica said in response

 

“okay, i’ll just wait outside..” the nurse nodded and proceeded to go out

 

 

 

“listen, i love you so much. It always been you and will never be you. Take care of yourself and be happy..”

 

 

With that, Jessica pressed her lips against Tiffany, and Tiffany kissed her back without waiting any further. Tears fell uncontrolably from both of their eyes. They kissed like it was the last time for them to share a kiss. Ironic, but maybe it was true.

 

 

 

“i love you..” Jessica broke the kiss

 

“i love you too..” Tiffany sobbed

 

 

“stop crying, please..” Jessica cupped the other girl’s face and the latter nodded cutely

 

“good..” Jessica smiled

 

 

Jessica stood up, and was about to walk when the pain in her chest came back all of sudden. She clutched her chest in pain. She wasn’t able to breath and collapsed onto the floor when Tiffany rushed to help her.

 

 

“SOMEBODY, PLEASE HELP!!! MY GIRLFRIEND CAN’T BREATH!!!”

 

 

 

Doctor and nurses rushed inside the room to check on Jessica. They carried Jessica back on the bed. Put the oxygen mask on Jessica’s face immadiately, and sent Tiffany out of the room.

Tiffany was shaking due to the great amount of shock. She leaned against the wall, lowering herself slowly to the floor, then hugged her knees with trembling hands. She couldn’t think properly, and what she could do was only crying and praying continously for everything to be fine.

 

Meanwhile, the doctor cursed silently when he saw the flat line on the monitor. The heart rate monitor showed a hopeless flat line and monotonous beeping sound for over 20 minutes. The nurse then turned off the monitor, knowing that they couldn’t do anything to help.

 

 

 

“time of death, 9.19am,.”