Your POV

My brother and Sunghyun offer to take me out to eat. Inside I’m doing a small dance to celebrate, but I’m sure you can’t really tell since I have a straight face. It’s all from years of acting on fake emotions.

Before everyone leaves I get a hug from Ukiss which makes me even more... Well since... Another time I guess...

“____, are you alright?” my brother asks me.

“Yeah, I’m alright,” I tell him, but really I feel light headed.

“Are you sure you look a bit pale?” Sunghyun says to me moving close to my face.

I move away from him and say, “Yes, I think it’s cause I’m hungry.”

It’s not like I’m lying to them since it’s a good day and I have an appetite. My brother is watching me carefully still and I’m sure he doesn't’ know about what’s up with me.

“Let’s go catch up,” Sunghyun shouts causing me to chuckle.

“Okay let’s go eat some... Ramen!”

My brother looks over at me well he shakes his head, “You and your obsession with ramen.”

“I want to try every flavor before I die,” I tell them not trying to be serious.

“That almost seems impossible there are always places with different flavors and I know you will always eat your favorites.” Kevin says to me.

I look at my brother, “Nothing is impossible, weren’t you the one that told me that?”

He nods his head and looks at Sunghyun, “Are you okay with ramen?”

“Yeah,” he takes my arm, “I know the perfect place to eat.”

“Really?”

“Yes, now let’s go before your stomach growls,” Sunghyun says to me.

“Shut up,” I shove him playfully as I walk ahead of them.

“____, do you remember what my car looks like?”

“Of course I do unless you got a new one since the last time I saw you.”

“Nope, it’s been the same since I moved here.”

I nod my head as we walk up to a small white car that probably hasn’t seen good days for over 10 years and hurts your eyes by looking at it.

We all climb into the car. Sunghyun is sitting up front to give directions to the ramen shop that he knows. When we arrive at the restaurant I smile.

"Wow this reminds me of that shop back home that we would go to every Friday when we were kids."

Sunghyun nods his head, I noticed that as well. I think thats why I eat here because I felt at home again."

We spend what seems like forever eating, but really its still a short time. This is time that I lost and can never get back.  Still this is time well spent.

"Sorry that I can't hang out for longer, but I have practice in an hour."

I smile at him,  "It's alright since we got to catch up on some lost time."

He nods his head as he opens his arms, "Can I get a hug?"

I smile gently at him as I wrap my arms around his waist, I missed you Sunghyun."

I'm glad I got to see you well I still have the time.

I calmly watch as my old friend walks away and I slump in my seat waiting for him to get to my apartment.

"Sis are you sure you want to be living on your own like this?" My brother asks me as he pulls up to my apartment building.

"Kev I'm alright living here."

He sighs looking over at me, "Alright but can you tell me why you ran away from home?"

I shake my head not wanting to look him in the eye. There is so much that I'm hiding and I know if I look him in the eye he'll know what's wrong with me.

"Is there something you are trying to hide from me? Would it have to deal why you left home?"

I shake my head, " I left home because I wanted to get away from mom and dad. To get a new start where people do not know who I am."

"Why would that be?"

It's to make it easier for me to die without being attached to anyone. I can’t feel at home anymore.

I enter my apartment building after leaving my brother there shocked and questioning. I look down at my hand and remember how i would hold onto people never letting them go and now I want to push people away from me.

There’s so much that’s so far away from my grasp and I don't understand how or why.