He had come to terms with it all.

                How does one forget that word?

                Murderer.

                He had needed to come to terms with it all.

                And when that happened, a wave of relief had swept over Him. He hadn’t known how heavy the weight of it all was until it had been taken off of Him.

                Perhaps this would be the night where He could finally sleep without a single worry.

                “Appa,” a small voice in the distance, “Appa.”

                All feelings of peace disappear. He is left feeling like He is about to vomit. He tastes something bitter and acidic in His mouth; His throat is burning. Only moments ago, was He in the middle of peace. Now He is…. He is Nowhere. He closes his eyes: Darkness. He opens them: Darkness. He squints and His eyes strain to focus on something in the distance.

                “Appa,” the small voice repeats.

                “Appa” – Father – Daddy – His son. His son.

                His son?

                As if He is tied to a cord, His body jerks forward until He is standing on a grey circle. In the distant, He hears the familiar music of a Flash. His head spins. Again, His eyes are straining to focus on something in the distance. He makes out two figures.

                “Appa,” this time the voice is urgent, “Look at me!” He turns toward the voice.

                Su Jong sits alone on a wooden chair. No Taehyung sits on the chair. Just like Mr. Jackson on that chair.

“Su Jong. Why are you calling me ‘Appa’? You’re only my imagination.”

                Su Jong shakes his head.

An unsettling feeling washes over Him.

                “I don’t understand. I don’t understand why I’m here. Why are you here? I thought you were dead. I pushed you out of my thoughts but why are you back?” His voice rises in hysteria.

                “You’re fighting. Stop fighting. You’ve already won.”

                He stares. His head is pounding; that is the only sensation He feels.

                 Dum. Dum. Dum. Dum.

                He doesn’t feel any heartbeat.

                Dum. Dum. Dum.

                He feels only the heat.

                “What do you see?” Su Jong gestures to the two figures that He has been trying to identify.

                He turns. Everything is clear. He observes a man and a woman. They’re holding hands. They look incredibly happy to be together. The joy that they’re sharing emanates off of them like a heavenly glow and His heart lifts for a brief moment. The two of them turn and He sees their faces. It is Sunny and He. They laugh and then beckon to someone else behind them. Like a ghost, a child in a yellow t-shirt runs through His currently standing body and joins the illusion of Sunny and He. They each grab the child’s hand and He hears their voices in His head saying, “One, two, three!” then they life the child into the air. he giggles.

                “What is this?” He looks back at Su Jong. The child is still sitting on the chair except this time he looks grey. There are shadows underneath his eyes and the left side of his mouth twitches. He looks at Him and says in a hollow voice, “You don’t know? It’s a Remember.”

                He echoes, “A Remember?”

                But a Remember means a real memory.

                “No. I never had a child. It was just Sunny and I.” He fully turns to talk to Su Jong. The instant He does so, the Darkness rushes around Him. Where His heart had been lifted a minute ago, it is being pressed down by a heavy, strenuous weight. He is forced to exhale as his insides are being compressed in and He is deflated like a balloon.

                “It’s a Remember,” he states matter-of-factly. Su Jong his head slightly. He looks a shade greyer.

                He deflates a little bit more.

                “See, stop fighting. You’ve already won.”

                He shakes and when He inhales, it is the most difficult thing to do.

                “Appa, look back.”

                He is rigid. His body is forced to turn around and Su Jong stands by His side as they look into the Darkness.

                The Remember is back. But this time he sees Seokjin holding Sunny’s hand. There is a sweet innocence to them as she looks up shyly. he brushes her hair away from her eyes and holds the back of her neck. Her fingers daintily rises up until her palm is flat against his chest. Their hearts are beating as one. he bends down towards her.

                He looks away.

                “Do you think they are perfect for one another?” Su Jong asks.

                He catches the faintest of echoes in his voice, making it sound hollower than ever. Still looking down, He utters a single world, “Yes.”

                That is what He has to come to terms with.

                He is a murderer.

                He murdered the happiness that was once between Sunny and himself. He killed it. She deserved so much better.

                “No. They’re not. If you believed so, you wouldn’t be looking away,” Su Jong’s hollow voice becomes deeper.

                He looks up. Their kiss deepens. The pain that grips His heart causes His breath to catch in His throat. When He can finally breathe, He whispers, “They are perfect.”

                “Liar,” Su Jong sneers, “You are a goddamn liar.”

                His body quivers. He watches as the Darkness continues to settle around Him and the shadows around Su Jong’s face become a menacing shade of dark grey.

                Su Jong brings into focus the first Remember. Or maybe not. Because although He sees the three of them smiling happily, something feels wrong. It’s the feeling of when a parent lies and buys a new puppy for their child, replacing the one that had died the previous night before; the lie that comes with saying that the new is the old.

“Appa, this is perfection. This is right,” gesturing to the scene of the three of them without Seokjin.

                “No,” He says, more confident than before, “No. Sunny deserves to be with Seokjin. he has been there for her since the beginning. They are the perfect match. I came in and ruined it all. I don’t deserve her at all. I never had and never will.” He brushes away the image of Himself and replaces it with Seokjin. The Sunny He sees stops swinging the child and lifts him into her embrace. She grabs Seokjin’s hand.

                The thundering anger from Su Jong’s voice snaps him back into the Darkness. “NO. You are a stupid delusional and crazy fool. You have already won. You have a child with her. You are an idiot for letting her just walk away. You are an imbecile for not doing anything about it. You are a ing coward.”

                He moans, “Stop it. I’m not.”

                Although Su Jong is just a child, he feels like Su Jong towers above him as the child continues to scream. Su Jong emits such a horrific fury that even with the Darkness around them, he is darker.  As sudden as the anger came, he pulls back. Su Jong is again a small child in his eyes. “I know what to do. I know how to make this all go away.”

                They both turn back towards Seokjin and Sunny. They continue to walk away from them. His palms are sweaty and he is empty of emotions. “Here, take this,” Su Jong sweetly says beside him.

He feels nauseous again.

                Su Jong is standing beside Him holding a knife. Its wicked blade gleams even though there is no light around them.

“What are you doing?” He gasps in horror.

                “I’m not doing anything. But you are. You’re going to fix this problem. Come on, take it,” he coaxes Him again.

                He shakes his head but nevertheless finds Himself reaching for the blade. His fingers enclose around it. It vibrates in his touch. “No,” He whispers to nobody in particular.

                And as such, Nobody answers him.

                “Come on. Do it. Kill him.”

                “You plan. You watch. You gather everything you know about that other person; all the things that would make them hurt and cry out and be in pain just like how they made you feel. Then when they least expect it. You kill them.”

                His arm moves back.

                Taehyung screams.

                The blade digs into flesh.