For the next few weeks, Jiyong tried his best to avoid Seungri. He didn’t know how to face Seungri until he had figured everything out and he can’t pretend that nothing happened. He knows Seungri is trying to tell him to not fall for him but what Seungri doesn’t know is, he already did. On one hand, he can’t seem to convince himself to let go of Seungri but on the other hand, he thinks that he should.

Jiyong will make sure that he gets up early or sleep-in in the morning to avoid bumping into Seungri when he goes to work and he will make sure he gets back late at night so that Seungri would be asleep by then. Sometimes when his plan failed and bumps into Seungri, he would just smile and keep the conversation short. Seungri noticed the change too but didn’t know what to do. He wants to maintain the friendship with his hyung but he didn’t want to hurt him too.

__

It was just another week like the past recent ones and Seungri is watching the television alone in the living room. Jiyong is purposely trying to be home late again. He was just about to get to sleep when he heard some noise at the door and it sounded like someone is trying hard to unlock the door with the keys. He went ahead and open the door when he saw Jiyong leaning on a man for support, completely drunk.

‘Oh, hey thanks for the help. It’s hard for me to try unlocking the door and at the same time balancing this drunk freak.’ The man went ahead and carried Jiyong to his room without Seungri directing. Seungri figured out he must be close with Jiyong to know his house well.

The man lay Jiyong down on his bed and walks out the room. He approached Seungri and let out his hand for a shake. ‘Hi, I’m Taeyang and that’s your drunk hyung back there in case you couldn’t recognise him in that freak state.’

‘I’m Seungri, Jiyong mentioned a lot about you before. Do you want some drink?’ Seungri said as he extend his hand for a shake.

‘Yeah, water will be fine. Wow, I’m amazed he does mention me to you. Thought his time with you must be too precious to talk about me.’ Taeyang smirked and went ahead to sit on the couch.

‘What do you mean?’ Seungri asked as he pass the glass of water to Taeyang and sit opposite of him.

Taeyang’s face suddenly got all serious and sighed. ‘You know what I meant. It’s what got Jiyong in this state too. I’ve never seen him so upset about anything. It seems like he had fall the hardest this time.’

Seungri gave a slight nod and stay silent. He didn’t know what to say and he’s feeling too guilty. ‘I don’t mean for this to happen…’ and Seungri walks to the window and look outside, taking in the beautiful view of the night city.

Taeyang looks at Seungri, not knowing if he should say what he’s about to say. Then he let out another sigh and continued. ‘You know, if you can’t reciprocate his feelings then maybe you should just… leave.’ Taeyang waited for Seungri to say something but Seungri stayed silent. ‘Well, I guess I should go. Nice meeting you, bye!’ and Taeyang let himself out of the house.

Seungri continued looking outside the window for a while. He then proceeded to Jiyong’s room to check on him. He tucked Jiyong’s hand under the blanket to prevent him from getting cold and just as he’s about to walk out, a hand reach out and grabbed him.

‘Please… don’t go. Stay with me, just one night.’ Jiyong begged.

Seungri tried to pull his hand away but the hand grip just got tighter. He gave up trying and got into the bed with his hyung. Jiyong wrap his arms around his waist and snuggled close to him.

‘You’re so warm…’ Jiyong said and smiled. The smile that Seungri hasn’t seen for weeks. Then, Jiyong started crying. ‘Seungri… I don’t know what to do. I think I have fallen hard for you and I don’t know how to get out. I love you so much and it’s because I love you, I can’t be selfish with you. I can’t force you to love me when you’ve gone through so much… I hate you for making me love you… but I hate myself more for not hating you, not even a little bit.’

‘Shhh, everything will be okay… Go to sleep hyung.’ Seungri comforted and he reach out his hesitant hand to wipe the tears off Jiyong’s face. He watch Jiyong fall asleep before he does with his heart breaking into a million pieces seeing his hyung like that.

___

Seungri softly moved Jiyong’s arm away from his waist and quietly get up from his bed. It’s already in the noon but he didn’t want to wake Jiyong up.

Jiyong woke up and he grabbed his head as he felt the headache coming. He then tried to remember what happened and his eyes widened in shock. He remembered drinking with Taeyang, trying to drink himself to forget about Seungri and… confessing to Seungri. He cursed himself under his breath and got out of his room to wash up hoping that everything wasn't real.

‘You’re awake. Wash yourself up and come eat. I made lunch.’ Seungri smiled as he saw Jiyong walks out of his room.

Jiyong was in the bathroom trying to figure out what just happened. Why is Seungri making lunch for him? Is he trying to tell him that he’s okay with his confession? Is he gonna try loving again? Jiyong walks to the kitchen still not having any conclusion.

‘How are you feeling?’ Seungri asked.

‘Bad painful headache’ Jiyong tried to reply nonchalantly.

‘We need to talk, but you need to eat first.’ Seungri said and Jiyong proceed to have the most uneasy lunch of his life trying to figure out what it is.

‘It’s delicious.’ Jiyong said and signalled that he’s done with his lunch. ‘So, what is it that you wanna talk about?’ He asked. Hopeful.

‘I… I think I should move out.’

Again, Jiyong felt the pain. Not in his head, but in his heart.