I was at home, laying on the couch. I was still drunk. I heard the door open and shut. She walked in with the prettiest smile on her face. Then it faltered, I hate myself, because I'm the reason she becomes sad. I can't help being an alchoholic. I slugishly get up. She starts tearing up.

                "Please don't leave." Of course my words were slurred.

                "You said you would stop! It's the same thing with you!"

                "I know, but-"

                "You lied! Why can't you just stop! It's not worth you dying!"

                "I just-"

                "I can't take this anymore!"

                "Please, I love you."

                "Do you love me enough to quit drinking!?" She screamed. My eyes moved around the room. I looked everywhere but at her.

                I started to speak but my voice was raw and it wouldn't come out. I swallowed hard. I looked up at her.

                "I can't say that I'll be able to." Tears started spilling over the rims of her eyes. "Ple-" My voice cut out again. I swallowed. "Please. Please don't leave me." She shook her head. Now it was me who started crying. "Please. You're all I have, please."

                She looked down and shut her eyes. She opened them again, slowly. In a quiet voice, I almost couldn't hear her, she said "I'm sorry. Goodbye Taeyang." Then she turned and left. The door clicking behind her.

                I blinked a couple of times, to try to get the tears out of my eyes, but they kept coming. I stumbled backward, still in my drunken stupor. I reached my hand out and hit some pictures off the shelf. I started to get angry at myself. At how I could put her through this.

                I started walking clumsily through the room. I knocked over everything that could possibly break, and everything else too. I grabbed the TV and threw it on the ground. I had no idea I could feel so sad and lone and... depressed. I can't live anymore.

                The tears continued flowing , I was moving so fast. Everything moving so fast. I passed through the barrier of my room, I wrote a note. Saying that I loved her and that I couldn't bear to be without her. I couldn't live... without her.

                I got tear stains on the note and cursed myself for messing some of it up. But I kept writing. After I was finished I folded it, unevenly, but I tried the best I could for a drunk. I made my way to the balcony, each heartbeat pounding in my ear, I climbed onto the balcony. I stood with my back to the wind. I was several stories up, since my apartment was on the 6th story.

                I felt the cool, brisk air. Everything was going in slow motion. I started leaning slowly backwards. I was halfway from falling off when I heard a scream.

                "NOOO! DON'T TAEYANG PLEASE! STOP!" Then, I fell and it was too late.