2.2 Unrequited Love is Painful

Chanyeol has always liked brainless, happy films that other people ed about for having poor plot structures and lousy character depiction. He doesn’t care if those films rank below 20% in Rotten Tomatoes as long as they come with a happy ending and everyone in the films winds up generally happier. He particularly likes it when the films are family-oriented, which is why he prefers the current animated films to fairytales of the past. Because face it, most characters in fairytales did not have happy families.

In high school, he often turned down his classmates’ invitations to join them for action-packed movies or horror flicks. “I’m not really into those,” he’d tell them and they would roll their eyes when he in turn suggested a film to watch.

“Not those again,” they’d groan. “What’s with you and family movies? Haven’t you had enough from home? It’s as if you need to live through these movie characters or something.” And Chanyeol would laugh it off and agree.

Because it’s such a cliché to admit that he indeed finds happiness in fictional families.

Yes, Park Chanyeol is one of those poor boys whose parents got a divorce when he was a child. And if that isn’t enough, he was separated from his beloved hyung, who went to live with their mother while Chanyeol stayed with their emotionally distant father. So once in a while, Chanyeol likes to indulge himself in these seemingly pointless movies, pretending that he is part of a happier family, because once upon a time, he too had parents who took the family out on little trips over the weekends and he too had an older brother who spoiled him and always gave him to him. An older brother who grows up to look very much like a certain colleague of his.

It’s ridiculous and predictable as hell that Chanyeol just had to fall for that colleague. Kris Wu Yi Fan, O Great Director of EXO Studios doesn’t even spare Chanyeol a glimpse. It really isn’t fair to him. In his own eyes, he’s definitely a more capable man than the new EXO Studios assistant director, Yixing. He has mad cinematography skills, okay, he knows what looks good on camera. All Yixing is good at is paperwork. Psh.

He knows he should move on. He may be disgruntled at how things turn out like this, and he may be pissed that Kris came to Yixing’s high school reunion dinner when he’s known to be a little socially awkward outside of work, but Park Chanyeol is not a home wrecker. But it doesn’t mean he has to be happy about watching Kris and Yixing act lovey dovey in front of him. In fact, he’s beginning to wonder why the hell he agreed to attend Baek Hyun’s reunion gathering, because if he hadn’t, he wouldn’t be subjecting himself to torture like this.

Hence the second Baek Hyun excuses himself to the bathroom, Chanyeol mutters something under his breath and stands up abruptly as well. He’s out the restaurant in seconds, hand digging into his back pocket, and draws out a cigarette from the partially crushed box. Chanyeol isn’t much of an addict when it comes to smoking – he’s more of a social smoker – but he finds that it’s the only way now for him to calm the back down or he’s going to leap over the table any time to strangle Kris.

A puff of smoke barely leaves his lips when the slim cigarette is snatched from his fingers and drops onto the ground without warning. Head snapping up in disbelief, Chanyeol meets the eyes of Kris, who is rudely snuffing his cigarette out with the tip of his expensive black leather shoe. Who the does he think he is!?

“What the hell?” he snaps, careful not to raise his volume and embarrass himself in front of Baek Hyun’s ex-classmates. “Was that necessary?”

“I vaguely remember you telling me you hate smokers,” Kris replies with an arch of his eyebrow. “Were you lying?”

He said that? Chanyeol furrows his eyebrows, his anger dissipating a bit as he tries to recall if he really did said that. He hasn’t even talked to Kris the past couple of weeks unless you count the one-word replies he gives when Kris asks him something at work.

Hang on – why does it even matter if he’s said it or not? He shouldn’t even be talking to Kris in the first place. The cinematographer narrows his eyes at Kris. “It’s none of your business,” he bites out in annoyance, wishing for the director to disappear instantly. A scowl forms on Kris’ lips at Chanyeol’s tone; he is clearly displeased with how he is speaking to him. So what? Kris doesn’t pay his salary. Besides, they aren’t even at work.

Chanyeol momentarily forgets that the director has legendary anger management issues until the latter grabs a fistful of his shirt. Oh? Is he planning to punch him? A wave of irritation sweeps through him and he tilts his head up challengingly. Chanyeol isn’t one to back down from a fight – if the director wants to hit him, then he better be prepared that Chanyeol will do the same to him. Temptation to beat Kris into a pulp has Chanyeol’s hands fly up to tightly grip the director’s shoulders.

“Don’t make a scene,” warns Kris edgily, as if he reads Chanyeol’s mind and it annoys the out of him so he tips his head back before smacking it forward against Kris’ in an alarmingly loud crunch. , , ! His own head feels like exploding from the impact, flushed crimson from the hit. Opposite him, Kris echoes his sentiments, except he includes a string of curses directed at Chanyeol.

Perhaps Chanyeol is childish but all he can think about is how Kris has done him wrong in the first place so he totally deserves some ill treatment. Chanyeol stalks past Kris, purposely stomping hard on the other’s foot when he makes his way back to the restaurant with a smirk curled on his lips when he hears the other man tumble backwards with a crash.

“Baek Hyun’s not back from the bathroom?” he questions the table of ten. A woman sitting on the opposite end of the table, whose name Chanyeol can’t quite remember, lets out a quiet cough.

“Baek Hyun just left. Said he had something urgent to attend to,” she says. The varying looks of pity around the table don’t go unnoticed. Chanyeol feels his cheeks warm in embarrassment but he manages to stick a smile on his lips nonetheless and pretends to check his phone just then.

“Ah,” he lies, “I didn’t realise he sent me a text. I’m going to go look for him then. It was great meeting you guys.” Chanyeol waves to the group with forced cheeriness, despite the red blotches on his face giving his humiliation away, and quickly leaves the restaurant.

Embarrassment gives in to anger the moment he steps out. Chanyeol quickly dials Baek Hyun’s number but each time, he only gets the answering machine. What the is going on?

-

 Chanyeol loathes the office. Of the three or four years he’s been working in EXO Studios, the number of times he enters the office can be counted with the fingers on one hand. He is a cinematographer who reports to the Crew Leader and the crew headquarters happen to be on the other side of the EXO Studios, far from the office where the producers and writers are. But today he intentionally reaches work an hour before his reporting time just so he can make it to the office to look for someone who has been avoiding his calls the past weekend.

“Excuse me, where does Byun Baek Hyun sit?” he enquires the first person who walks in his direction and nods his thanks when the other points out the casting section. Apprehension fills the tall cinematographer as his confident strides slow down to a hesitant shuffle. He hasn’t thought this through, what he is going to say to Baek Hyun, but he does remember the annoyance and humiliation at being abandoned at a gathering where he doesn’t know a single person. Baek Hyun invited him there – how could he just walk out of him like that? There better be a good reason.

As he nears the casting section, his eyes fall onto an empty cubicle. It isn’t difficult to tell that the cubicle belongs to Baek Hyun from the numerous photos tacked on his whiteboard and he almost smiles at the huge grins replicated on each and every photo of Baek Hyun. Almost.

“Have you seen Baek Hyun?” he asks the person sitting next to his cubicle. Chanyeol frowns when the person gives him a disgruntled shrug. Did Baek Hyun ask everyone to help hide him or something?

“Baek Hyun took a week off work.” Chanyeol turns around, his gaze dropping to meet the producer of his current project.

“Did he say where he is going?” he asks carefully.

Junmyeon shakes his head and doesn’t offer more answers. Unsatisfied, Chanyeol turns away but just before he is about to leave, he hears something that makes him feel incredibly stuffy.

“What do you mean Kai has requested for a week of leave?” a writer Chanyeol recognises as Kyungsoo snarls a distance away. “Shouldn’t he know better to disappear when we are filming?!” Feeling eyes on him, Kyungsoo looks up from where he is shouting at the phone and narrows a glare at Chanyeol as if he is his fault that Kai isn’t around. He folds his arms crossly and yells across the office at him.

“Aren’t you supposed to be seeing Byun Baek Hyun?” he calls snappishly. “Can you explain to me why he has kidnapped my second talent away for a holiday?”

A what? "Why would they go on a holiday together?" Chanyeol blurted out.

Clearly that isn't the answer Kyungsoo is expecting. If the snarky writer’s eyes are made of laser, there’d be holes in Chanyeol already. “You tell me,” he shoots back and slams the door to the meeting room shut with a loud bang, leaving Chanyeol with a sense of dread and more questions than he has answers for.

Is Baek Hyun seeing Kai? What is their relationship? If they are dating... then why did Baek Hyun ask him to go to his high school reunion? Did the casting director use him as cover because he couldn't take a celebrity there without causing a scandal? All these questions leave a bitter taste in his mouth. He needs answers.

His most detested person in EXO Studios passes by and Chanyeol's hand snakes out to grab his wrist. Yixing blinks at him with the signature dazed expression in his eyes but it quickly turns to wariness. He arches a inquiring eyebrow at Chanyeol's hand. “Is something wrong?”

“I need Baek Hyun's address,” he tells him flatly. Yixing's eyebrows shoot up into his bangs.

“Don't you already have it?” the assistant director asks carefully.

Chanyeol purses his lips, not at all happy with how Yixing is stalling for time. “I lost it,” he fibs, “I have something urgent to speak to him about—” His hand is wrenched away from Yixing before he gets to finish his sentence, and his view of the smaller man is blocked by someone his size. Kris.

“What do you think you're doing?” Kris snarls. Chanyeol almost wants to laugh at how protective Kris is – but instead it only hurts that the director thinks of him as someone who is capable of hurting a person. “Stay professional for 's sake.” He drags the stammering assistant director out of the office, not giving Chanyeol a chance to explain at all. Heat flushes throughout his body; Chanyeol grinds his teeth and grips the low cubicle wall tightly to stop himself from chasing after them.

His urge to fight Kris is momentarily subdued by the shrill sound of his mobile phone, announcing a received text message. Chanyeol peels his fingers off the wall to take the phone out and releases a soft grateful breath. Yixing has texted him Baek Hyun's address.

-

The twelve hour shift feels even longer than usual. Chanyeol’s patience with Kris is wearing thin and almost every word from the director’s mouth offends him. Yixing looks perpetually like a deer caught in the headlights between them; even their first lead actor, who usually only cares about himself, is noticing something odd between them. Ever since Kris has rejected him and entered a relationship with Yixing, Chanyeol has nothing but animosity for the director. But even then, he is quiet about it, only giving the slightly taller man death glares and non-committal answers. It hasn’t been this bad before, where Chanyeol’s practically spitting out curses with as much fervour as Kris’ swear words.

The second the director tiredly calls out “It’s a wrap”, Chanyeol moves faster in the minute than he has the entire day. He coils the cables neatly back to the side of the studio where the rest of the cameras are and without a word to anyone else, he escapes to the staff room to grab his backpack and leaves the studio. 

It is nearly midnight when Chanyeol steps down from the last bus. He double checks the address on his mobile phone and the street sign and with a set jaw, Chanyeol strides up to the apartment building determinedly. He doesn’t really understand why his heart is pounding like this, nor does he pause to think if it really is necessary to do a confrontation at this time of the night. For all he knew, Baek Hyun might really be on a holiday, then wouldn’t that make this a wasted trip?

Squelching down the sudden anxiety, Chanyeol presses the doorbell hesitantly and holds his breath. “Please let him be in,” he mutters under his breath. It shouldn’t matter so much, but it does for some reason.

A wave of relief floods Chanyeol when the door opens and there stands a stunned Baek Hyun, staring at him as if he has somehow grown horns on top of his head. Chanyeol’s so relieved to see him he can’t help the huge grin that takes over his face. So he isn’t on a holiday with Kai! Silly Kyungsoo must be jumping to conclusions.

It is when Baek Hyun waves his small hand in front of Chanyeol’s eyes that Chanyeol snaps out of it and glances down at the shorter man. “What are you doing here, Chanyeol?” the casting director asks brusquely. “How did you get my address?”

He falters slightly. This is a reaction Chanyeol isn’t expecting. (He had kind of hoped that Baek Hyun would jump into his arms happily… or something along those lines.) But then he remembers that, hey, Baek Hyun is in the wrong here so he really doesn’t need to explain anything to the casting director. If anything, it should be the other way round.

“You have been avoiding my calls,” points out Chanyeol shortly. “Ever since you left me at the restaurant last Saturday. What the , Baek Hyun? Don’t you think that’s a little rude?”

The words rouse a reaction out of Baek Hyun, who has until then remained indifferent and detached. Baek Hyun folds his arms and successfully manages to stare down Chanyeol, even though he is substantially shorter than him. “Excuse me?” he spits, his voice taking on a note of fury that Chanyeol doesn’t quite comprehend. “You think that’s rude? What about you? Don’t you think it’s a little rude to be kissing someone else when I invited you there? Shouldn’t you show me some respect?”

Wha – what? Chanyeol blinks at him with wide eyes, taken aback by Baek Hyun’s reaction. “W-what do you mean by kissing someone else?” he splutters dumbly, “I didn’t kiss anyone?”

A snort escapes Baek Hyun’s lips and he rolls his eyes skyward, fixing his stare at the ceiling instead of Chanyeol. “Sure, sure, whatever you say. I know what I saw.”

It takes him a while but it suddenly occurs to him that , Baek Hyun must have seen him with Kris. Is that what he thinks they were doing? Kissing? A laugh bubbles in his throat and his previous annoyance fades away somewhat. “You’re silly,” Chanyeol tells him in amusement. He is about to clarify the misunderstanding when he spies an all too familiar figure behind Baek Hyun. His blood freezes over when he recognises that face to be Kai, dressed in nothing but boxers.

“Who is it, Baek?” Kai calls out sleepily before he appears behind Baek Hyun. Recognition flashes in Kai’s eyes at the sight of Chanyeol but they haven’t spoken before, unless you count the times where Chanyeol tells him to stand at certain spots so the camera catches him in a better light. “Aren’t you...?”

Chanyeol’s eyes flicker back to Baek Hyun but the casting director doesn’t offer an explanation right away. “Go back to bed, Kai,” he says without turning back to look at the actor, pushing Chanyeol back so he can shut the door and step out onto the hallway. He gazes up at Chanyeol quietly and the tall man wants to wilt underneath his heavy stare. Something burns in his chest; unlike the dull ache he gets when he sees Kris with Yixing, this burning feels more like acid corroding his insides, tearing him apart in agonizingly slow speed. Unable to stand Baek Hyun’s scrutiny, he breaks the silence first.

“Why does it matter to you who I was kissing?”

Baek Hyun breaks off his stare to roll his eyes and without any warning, he shoves Chanyeol. His back hits the wall but the pain doesn’t register when the shorter man is advancing on him with that look in his eyes.

“Are you that oblivious?” he hisses. “I like you, Park Chanyeol. Ever since you were just a stupid camera assistant. I’m not the amazing ‘Kris hyung’ but don’t you think it’s time to give up on him? Why did you think I invited you to the reunion dinner? To watch you stare at Kris for 3 hours?”

It is a good thing Chanyeol is already leaning against the wall because Baek Hyun’s confession would have caused him to reel backwards and topple off the flight of stairs next to his apartment unit. His eyes go impossibly wide. Byun Baek Hyun likes him? His stomach lurches and flips like it’s taking part in some aerobics competition, and he has to squash his hand over it to calm it down.

“W-why are you telling me now?” he stutters and nods towards Baek Hyun’s door. “Why are you telling me now, when you have Kai in your apartment?”

His response is obviously not what Baek Hyun has hoped it would be. Perhaps the other thought that Chanyeol will declare his love for him too but he is far too taken aback by the sudden statement to properly think his actions through. The look of utter disappointment on Baek Hyun’s face eats at him guiltily but before he can think of something else to say, Baek Hyun interrupts him.

“… Because I give up,” Baek Hyun says quietly. “I’m never going to be someone you want to be with – heck, I’m nothing like Kris.” He shrugs and glances away, although not before Chanyeol sees the flicker of hurt in his eyes. “So yeah, I’m telling you now so that you’ll avoid me and leave me alone and we can go on our merry ways doing our individual jobs—” and Baek Hyun will have gone on and on if Chanyeol doesn’t shut him up by pressing his lips against his.

It’s a cliché move, copied and reproduced in several of the movies Chanyeol enjoys watching. It is a cliché move that Chanyeol least imagines himself to replicate. But it is also a cliché move where the man gets the chick and the movie finishes with a happy ending. A happy ending Chanyeol badly wants right now… but he doesn’t get.

His head knocks back onto the wall when Baek Hyun pushes him away and proceeds to rub his lips with the back of his hand as though doing so will erase the imprint of Chanyeol’s kiss in his mind. It is not a cliché move, Baek Hyun’s eyes seem to tell him, but a move.

“I am not your rebound,” Baek Hyun spits, and disappears back into his apartment.

-

It is at his follow-up checkup at the hospital, where Baek Hyun took him the other day after a studio light fell on his leg, that it finally hits him that he doesn’t need a doctor to tell him the gaping hole in his chest is due to the lack of the other man’s presence. It’s funny why Chanyeol hasn’t noticed it earlier; how Baek Hyun had been so quick to come to his defence when idiotic Kris was swearing at him for not being careful on set and how he had been diligently looking after Chanyeol even though it is evident the other has never taken care of another person before. Baek Hyun can hardly cook, but for Chanyeol, he had been poring over recipe books to make him meals because it wasn’t convenient for Chanyeol to get around with an injured foot.

“Where’s your boyfriend?” the nurse at the reception desk asks. “He looked so nervous waiting for you the other time I thought he would have insisted on coming today.”

Chanyeol offers her a tight-lipped smile and when she gives him his receipt, he mutters a soft “thanks” before turning away. Some boyfriend… he kissed Baek Hyun and was still pushed away. Rebound? What rubbish. It’s just an excuse for him to go back to Kai, who’s y and pretty and less awkward than Chanyeol. After two weeks of Baek Hyun never leaving his sight, it feels odd to be all alone. He’s gotten quite used to the way the other man bustles around him, offering his shoulder to Chanyeol for support when he totters around with his crutch.

He walks down the stairs towards the bus stop slowly. There’s something about Baek Hyun he doesn’t quite understand. Did he really mean it when he said he liked him for years? So Chanyeol wasn’t actually invited to the reunion dinner as a cover up for Kai but as an actual guest? And when Baek Hyun thought he was kissing Kris, he ran away from his own reunion? Chanyeol bit down hard on his lip. Did he essentially just let his own happy ending pass by?

An annoyingly loud ringtone startled Chanyeol out of his reverie. Eyeing the dubious anonymous caller on his screen, he contemplated for a while before picking it up.

“Hello?” he says cautiously. “Who is this?”

“… I told you to quit moping or I will—” the voice suddenly breaks off and all Chanyeol hears is a lot of rustling before a click, and when the speaker talks again, his voice is echoing a lot. Chanyeol furrows his eyebrows. Is he in the bathroom? “—Hello?? Is this Park Chanyeol?”

“… Yeeess…” Chanyeol drags out the word slowly, baffled. “Who are you?”

“Kai,” says the caller shortly. “Can you come by Baek’s apartment in 15 minutes? He wants to see you.”

“Baek Hyun wants to see me?” he echoes, blinking furiously. Wait, why is Kai calling him? Aren’t the two lovers?

“Yep. 15 minutes. Hurry.” And the actor hangs up.

Chanyeol really doesn’t understand his own actions but somehow he’s flagging down a cab and nagging at the driver to go quicker. Why did Kai call him to go to Baek Hyun’s place? What’s wrong with Baek Hyun? Why does he want to see him? His head is starting to throb from the confusion and it doesn’t ease up even when Baek Hyun’s apartment building comes into view. He doesn’t even collect the change from the cab driver before he races into the building, impatiently jabbing at the elevator button.

In his hurry to get in the elevator, Chanyeol crashes into a smaller man coming out and the two of them fall onto the ground of the elevator as the doors shut. Instinctively, Chanyeol pulls the other man towards him to prevent his head from knocking onto the wall and only looks down when he feels the other man tense.

“B-Baek Hyun!” he exclaims, cheeks reddening at the position they are in. Chanyeol loosens his embrace on Baek Hyun, his arms protesting the sudden loss of warmth. His embarrassment is forgotten, however, when he remembers what Kai said and he narrows his eyes at the casting director. “Are you running away from me?”

Baek Hyun swears under his breath. Words like “murder”, “” and “Kai” float to Chanyeol’s ears but he ignores them, choosing instead to corner Baek Hyun by placing two arms on each side of his head. The casting director’s small eyes go large at the sudden proximity. “Don’t you dare kiss me again,” he warns shakily and folds his arms as if that will strengthen his point. “I will kick you.”

The way Baek Hyun’s lower lip quivers doesn’t escape Chanyeol’s gaze. He lowers his head to his experimentally, pulse racing, when the other man squeezes his eyes shut. Despite Baek Hyun’s threat, it’s obvious he wants to be kissed. “You didn’t answer my question,” whispers Chanyeol as the tips of their noses touch and his warm breath caresses his lips. “Are you running away from me.”

Baek Hyun’s little shiver is felt down to his toes. He opens an eye to look at Chanyeol. “I’m not—” he squeaks. “—I’m not running away from you.”

“Liar.” A smirk curls onto Chanyeol’s lips. “Where are you running off to then, when Kai told me to come and see you?”

“I was just… just taking out the garbage,” he mutters but both of them know he’s lying. He isn’t even holding anything! Chanyeol wiggles his eyebrows and grins, his eyes twinkling with amusement and mischief.

“I heard you were moping,” he starts but Baek Hyun interrupts him with a scoff.

“Was not. Kai is a great liar–”

Pretending Baek Hyun hasn’t spoken, Chanyeol continues by counting the signs down with his fingers. “Number one, you were moping. Number two, you think I was making you a rebound. Three, you’re avoiding me. Four, you can’t even come up with a decent lie… If I didn’t know better, I’d say you’re still in love with me.” He raises an eyebrow. “Do I need to continue?”

Baek Hyun purses his lips but says nothing.

Chanyeol gazes at him for a long moment before he sighs. “You are not my rebound, Baek Hyunnie,” he says softly. “I have stopped liking Kris for a while now. I wasn’t kissing him that day. I was actually giving him a headbutt.” He grimaces. Okay, that sounded a lot less silly when he was doing it. He clears his throat shyly. “I miss you, Baek Hyunnie. And I like you. And judging from Kai’s call, I’d even go as far as to say that you… still like me.” His grin wavers a little by now. “Will you give me a chance?”

The array of expressions on Baek Hyun’s face will have been entertaining if Chanyeol isn’t so nervous. When Baek Hyun places his hands on Chanyeol’s chest, the cinematographer prepares himself to be pushed away again. But no, Baek Hyun doesn’t shove him away nor does he kick him. Baek Hyun only tiptoes and plants his lips on his.

“If you break my heart, I will break your legs,” he whispers against Chanyeol’s lips, eyes crinkling so prettily Chanyeol’s heart jumps out of his chest.

“I won’t.”

-

Sneak Preview

A/N: PLEASE EXCUSE THE RAMBLING OF THIS CHAPTER. Idk why it gets longer and longer each part. T__T Baekyeol's really difficult for me to write.... but I hope it wasn't too painful a read for you guys. On another note... KAISOO'S NEXT!!! And they're going to Jeju! Guess who will be rooming together~~~

Comment and upvote please!