11:46: Tick, Tock. The sound of the clock sang as I cover my ears with my gloved hands. I pulled out my cell phone out of my pocket, praying that another minute haven’t passed yet. Maybe it was the fact that I was always checking on the time that the time kept running away. The time kept going and it wouldn’t stop. He was going to be here, I was sure of it. He promised.

I checked my phone one last time. Red digits indicated me that it was 11:47 PM. I didn’t even try to call. Even though I hoped he was coming, even though I believed his words, I knew he wasn’t coming. Why are you so hard on yourself, Lee Jieun?

Maybe it was the phone. It got to be the phone. I took my watch out of my purse. 11:48.

It was me; I was over panicking, exaggerating. He will be there. I watched as the party continued without me. I watched as the couples danced as if no one was watching. But I was there – I was watching. Perhaps I was the only one alone.

How can one be alone on a New Years Eve party? I thought. I snarled, what about that kiss when the clock strikes midnight? Why is it so important? There were many occasion where you could kiss, why is it so important to kiss on the New Year? Why do you care?

11:49. Why did the time kept running? If I was the time, I would stop. People would have the time to do everything they want. Nobody would bother him.  I wouldn’t pester my watch as much.

“Jieun !” someone yelled behind me

I turned around and was greeted by the one and only, Kim Jonghyun. I smiled at him, trying hard not to fake it. He sat beside me and looked at my twirled hands. 11:50. He chuckled “Don’t worry, he will be there” he patted my shoulder and I grinned.

“I hope so” I whispered as he smiled and left me alone, at last.

Was hearing his voice, saying a word as simple as my name that hard to imagine? Lee Jieun, you’re so pathetic. I sipped on my champagne, trying not to look at my watch. Stop pestering. Plus, it hadn’t been a long time since I’ve dated him. It’s no big deal; he shouldn’t feel force to come. It’s just a party.

But it’s your boyfriend, my conscience growled at me. He should come. 

My eyes traveled to the door, for the billion time and I sighed. 11:51. 9 more minutes. He got 9 more minutes to barge into that door.

“9 more minutes ‘till 2013!” someone shouted

People threw their drinks in the air. The countdown would start soon and my heart kept racing in my chest. 11:52.

“Isn’t he coming?”

“I don’t know” I said honestly to Key, as he sat beside me. Key was someone I’ve met quite a long time ago. We’ve been friends ever since we were trainees and I hoped our friendship would go far. He was one of the only person who was honest to me.

“It’s only 11:53. He has 7 minutes to come. 7 minutes may feel like a mere second, but we’re still in the present. We’re not in the past yet”

“What are you saying?” I looked up at him confused

“We’re still in 2012, aren’t we? Past was a minute ago and the Future is in … 6 minutes. “ He winked at me

I smiled at him gratefully. Key always had the words to cheer me up. 11:55.

I bit my lips and expectedly, blood rushed in my mouth. , what if I taste like blood when he kisses me? I opened my bag and pulled a Kleenex on my lips, trying not to remove my lipstick. Lee Jieun, you’re so pathetic.

11:56. Why did I chose red lipstick huh? With one swift move of my hand, I wiped my lipstick away. Don’t cry, I swallowed my tears.

“Lee Jieun, how pathetic are you? Spending 3 hours to do this make up for a boy that you like, only to wipe it away?” I snarled and laughed ironically. People must think that I’ve gone crazy. “Yes, I’m crazy!”

People started to glance at me. “C-R-A-Z-Y” I mouthed at them. They frowned but scurried away. I glanced at the clock wall, 11:57. I laughed. Why was I still waiting? Pathetic, Pathetic, Pathetic. I began to twirl my foot on the sofa.

“Lee Jieun, You barely have friends and a non-existent boyfriend.” I laughed again, a sinister tone gradually appearing as my laughter fell down.

“2 minutes!” someone screamed. The crowd began to cheer, people gathering together and throwing their drinks in the air.

“Did I commit a sin in my past life or is this the world being mad at me?”

“Hey, Lee Jieun!” another voice pondered in and I looked at that person, startled. “He’s going to be there.”

I smiled “I hope so, Minho”

“It’s only 11:58”

I tried to muster a smile and waved him goodbye. I sighed; Maybe I’m just ed up. Just then, people began to scream louder than before.

It was the countdown.

30, 29, 28

I looked around the room. Not a sign of him.

27,26,25

I looked at my phone, no messages.

24,23,22

Maybe he tried to call me? No missed calls.

21,20,19

“Hey, Jonghyun did you see …?” he shook his head.

18,17,16

My eyes drifted to the door again, when was he going to barge in?

15,14,13

Maybe he was in the elevator, going up the levels..

12,11,10

Don’t cry, Lee Jieun. This will only show how pathetic you are.

9,8,7

“Jieun!” I turned my head to the sound of the voice. Onew. “I just wanted to say that…”

6,5,4,3 …

“That I’m here” My eyes drifted to a voice behind him. My voice caught in my throat. There he stood, in all his glory. The eyes, that lopsided smile and …

2,1 …

“Happy New Year” Taemin said taking my hand and pushing me towards him. “Lee Jieun”

And then, just like that, we kissed.