“Now tell me what’s going on between you and that girl,” Seunghyun and I were at my apartment. He looked unhappy for what had happened at the florist shop.

“Promise me you will keep this secret.”

“When did I not keep my promise?”

“You did. To my parents.”

He looked surprised.

“I wasn't mad though because it was just about time for them to know the truth. Me myself are impressed with how careless they are to me I felt like I had never been born before.”

“I’m sorry Jiyong. I just want them to know how you feel right now. But how did you know that I told them?”

*A year ago

“That stupid doctor is such a hurt. How come he insisting on me stay for one more week without telling me what my disease actually is.”

I mumbled as I looked at a beautiful woman sitting alone on a bench in a park near to the hospital where I had stayed for almost two weeks. I thought I could play with her for awhile to shoo away boredom at hospital. She’s just sitting there and folding some paper craft. She’s using black shade which I thought a bit weird because the weather was not that bright.

“Are you waiting for someone?” I said as I scooted myself closer to her. Usually woman would go gaga over me when I did such a thing. She stopped what she was doing and slowly turned her body to me. I noticed something unusual with the way she turned her face. She didn’t fully look at me so I just see one side of her face.

“I’m waiting for my brother.”

She then proceeded folding the paper without even cared about me. Girls who were passing by in front of us took a glance at me and I flirted a bit. Just a wink and they blushed. I was sure that the girl beside me would regret for not caring about me. But she just stayed like that.

“What’s your name?” I finally asked her because the situation was getting boring there.

“Noona..!!”

A man who looked younger than me called her and when he was there he gave me a dead glare as if I just did a bad thing to her.

“I’ve told you not to come here anymore. There are many jerks that see you as their pry,” he said still with a glare.

“Aigoo.. it’s not the first time for me to come here. Moreover, our house is not that far. Besides, I have a magic stick then can lead me here,” she chuckled while taking a folded stick and lengthened it. I was shocked when I found out that she was actually blind.

Next day, I got medical check up again and the doctor said that he would give me the result the next day. When I was driving my way home, I saw here walking at the sidewalk alone using her stick. I suddenly pulled over my car. I had no idea why should I get off the car and followed her. I was curious actually.

Step by step she walked towards the park. She’s not using any shade that day and I could see her bare face was so beautiful. She’s holding paper craft and I guessed that she was going to make some craft again from that paper.

I silently sat on the bench but it seemed like she noticed my present as she creased her forehead and turned slowly towards me, waited for me to response.

“Uhm.. I’m sorry. I’m not a bad guy okay so you don’t have to worry. There are many people here so it’s impossible for me to do some bad things to you. I don’t take advantage from a blind woman you know.”

I just realized that my words sounded offensive so I corrected it.

“Oh I’m sorry I mean..”

“It’s okay. I’m blind and it’s a fact. Don’t be uneasy about it,” she said as she smiled at me.”

Beautiful. That word appeared in my brain when I saw her smile.

“Thanks.”

I was so embarrassed with myself that the only word could come out from my mouth was just “thanks”.

“Where are you from?” Do you live near here too?”

She asked me out of nowhere while still working on a craft on her hands.

“Me? Uhm.. Yeah I mean no.. I don’t live here. I happened to be hospitalized in that hospital for two weeks because of some health problems but the doctor hasn’t given me the result of those medical examinations.”

“Here. It can make you feel better,” she offered me a small butterfly craft. I reached her palm and took it. A smile escaped from my lips when I saw a cute little yellow butterfly craft on my palm.

“I love butterfly,” I said as I looked at her.

“Really? Why?”

“Because it’s beautiful just like you.”

She blushed and she looked very shy. It me want to hug her tightly. We finally inroduced each other and she told me where she lived together with her family and how she spent her time from 3 pm up to 5 pm at the park because she loved flower and butterfly. Unlike those women who just looked after my money, this girl was different. Her innocence and pure heart weren’t contaminated by this stupid mean world. The next day after work I didn’t see the doctor because I didn’t care anymore about the result. What I cared about was only Dara. I lose my interest in any other girl out there who barely cloth just to impress men.

“Hi. How are you?”

“Jiyong-sii? I’m fine you are early today. How was the result?”

Dara looked different, she wore a light make up and it made her look more beautiful. I wonder where had she been all this time when I was wandering at club with those stupid hoes.

“Jiyong-sii??”

She snapped me back to really because I was too occupied with her beauty.

“Oh.. he said I’m okay. I just needed some rest,” I lied since I saw worried expression on her face.

“It’s a good news then Jiyong-sii. Take this. I made the pink one this time. Pink butterfly,” she extended her hand but I just pulled her to me and kiss her lips. It’s just a peck actually.

She suddenly pushed me and abruptly looked for her stick. She stood up but almost fell down due to nervousness I didn’t know. So I grabbed her arms and hug her.

“I’m sorry. But I think I love you Dara.”

She didn’t move for a couple minutes and it made me worry that she would reject me. But then I felt her arms hold me as she cried on my chest. So I guessed she loved me too. It was the happiest moment in my life.

One day, I got a very bad headache and I threw up. I felt like my stomach was already empty. I called Seunghyun and he went panic when I said I felt like I was going to die. His response made me let out a weak chuckle though. He said “, Jiyong, don’t do such a stupid thing okay! Remember that all problems can be solved so please don’t commit suicide!” then he hang up the phone.

It made me remember my teenage life when I was trying to commit suicide because of my Mom and Dad but Seunghyun would come to the hospital and curse in front of me then finally he would cry. I didn’t fear on death though. I was just tired of seeing Seunghyun took care of me like a baby. That man looked like an old man but had a heart like a lady which was good for me, sometimes. He once argued with his girlfriend because I asked him to stay at my place for a week since I wanted to avoid a woman who went crazy about me. I told the woman that I was gay and my gay boyfriend was Seunghyun. He’s more than just a best friend. He’s my family.

***

 “Mr. Kwon Jiyong we had called you several times but you didn’t answer any of them. We also sent a letter to your apartment but seems like you didn’t read it too. It’s been two weeks now,” the doctor looked upset as he leaned on his desk with a serious expression.

“I’m very busy recently that’s why I had no time,” I gave him my reason but he just heaved a sigh.

“Too bad. So it means that you haven’t known about your disease yet.”

I just shrugged and wished the conversation to end soon because I wanted to meet my Dara.

“Mr. Kwon, you have brain cancer.”

 It was a silence before I finally comprehended what he was saying.

“What? No.. Wait. It can’t be.. I mean how could I not know it before? You’re just trying to threaten me do you? Or did someone tell you to make up such a story? I don’t believe you.” I stood up and was about to left when the doctor said that I could come anytime and it would be better to take care of my disease early because it might be too late. I didn’t say anything and just left the room. That day I felt the world betrayed me. Right when I found my happiness, it took away everything.

***

That night we were going to have a dinner. I had booked a restaurant before and asked them to decorate everything, to serve the best dishes and to play the best romantic songs. When I was driving to her place the doctor’s words kept coming in to my head. I knew I denied what he said but somehow I was afraid that maybe I would die soon and unable to see Dara anymore. But then I shoo away the thoughts.

“Be careful Noona and don’t come back late!” her brother Thunder warned me to take care of his sister. He was being overprotective but I couldn’t blame him though since Dara was unlike those normal girls out there. Their Mom and Dad were staying abroad for awhile to visit her sister Durami so Thunder had to take care of Dara. That’s why I hadn’t met her parents yet. Dealing with Thunder was not an easy thing. At first he didn’t accept me being with his sister. He said that he would protect Dara from a jerk like me. There was a day when he punched my face when I said that I loved her sister and I would marry her so that he could stop worrying about her. Dara cried and yelled at Thunder. I didn’t fight back because Thunder just found out my past from one of women I had dumped before.

I kneeled down and apologized to him and Dara but Thunder just left me there and took Dara with him. We didn’t see each other for two weeks. She didn’t pick up my call nor replied my texts. I told Seunghyun about this matter since I didn’t know what to do anymore but I didn’t say it was Dara that I was talking about.

“If you love her, then fight for her. If you think she is the only one who can bring you happiness, then go for her. Convince her and her brother. Don’t come back even if he should kill you,” Seunghyun patted my shoulder as he left my apartment. I didn’t waste my time. Next day I went to the park but as I had guessed before, she wouldn’t be there since Thunder would forbid her to come. So, I went to her house and pushed the bell. She asked who I was through the speaker at the door. “It’s me Jiyong.”

She didn’t say anything but I just stayed there waiting for her to open the door and she did it. I hugged her tightly and told her how I miss her so much. “I’m sorry Dara for not telling you about my past I just thought it was still too early. It just a past and I don’t want it to affect our future. I love you.”

Then she cried again and hugged me. “I love you too Jiyong. Will you promise not to go away from me? You are the first man I love and you made me feel something that I never felt before. I didn’t know how it felt like to love someone. I always thought that I don’t deserve to be loved because I’m blind.”

I cupped her face and wiped tears on her both cheeks. My butterfly looked so fragile. I stare at her for awhile before placing my lips on hers kissing her softly. She trailed her hands from my back up to my shoulder. I bent down a bit as I maintained the kissing. It was not a kissing which two people molesting each other’s lips like they want to eat up each other’s mouth. It’s something indescribable. Something I had never felt before. When we broke our kissing, she smiled as she touched my face. “This is the face of a man who stole my first kiss and my heart but I love him so much.” It was the sweetest word I ever heard from a woman. Despite her disability, her warm heart and soul could radiate everyone around her. I was lucky to have her.

My problem with Thunder hadn’t solved even though Dara had told him that she didn’t care about my past. However, he finally accepted me after that afternoon when she came to the park where me and Dara regularly visit every week.

“Noona. How many times should I say to you not to meet this bastard anymore?” He looked so mad and we glared each other. Dara smiled bitterly and she looked like she was trying to hold back her tears.

“I see. Your Noona is just a useless woman who can’t find her own man. Your noona who can’t see anything doesn’t have any right to love someone. Your noona..” she couldn’t finish her sentence because the tears are now falling on her face. I grabbed her arms and hold her tight and squeeze her arms to console her. As I caressed her back, I kissed her head. I really wanted to beat Thunder and punched the hell out of him but I restrained myself. Thunder just stood still like a statue and balled his fist. His jaw was clenched and I could see anger on his face. I knew he was mad at himself for making her sister saying such a word. He just left us alone there. The next day, Dara told me that Thunder apologized for not thinking about Dara’s feeling and for making her cry. After all these things I granted my life only for Dara.

“Jiyong.. Are you okay? You didn’t answer my question,” Dara snapped me back to reality when we’re driving our way to the restaurant.

“Oh.. I’m sorry. I just concentrated in driving. What was your question anyway babe?“ I said as I intertwined my right hand with hers.

“It’s nothing. Just keep driving,” she gave me a smile to assure me.

I was curious about her question so I asked it again when we arrived at the restaurant.

“Do you like the food babe?”

“I never eat them before Jiyong! I love them all…! I think my tummy is going to explode,” she held her tummy and acted like she was going to faint. Very cute.

“Uhmmm. Actually, I want to know what were you asking back then at the car.”

Her expression changed but she smiled a bit.

“I was wondering how our future would be like and I asked you about it. I haven’t met your parents and I also haven’t known any of your friends. I really wanted to know them too so that I know how to be Jiyong’s best woman.”

I heaved a sigh as I heard the words. She was thinking about our future. She even wanted to meet my Mam and Dad. How could I explain everything to her?

Instead of telling her about my parents and friends I asked her what kind of marriage she wanted.

“I really want to have a florist shop where I can spend my time with so many flowers while waiting for you to come back from work. I can’t see but I recognize flowers from their smells. I will decorate the shop with many butterfly crafts. Our children will play around and……”

She kept talking and talking but I didn’t mind at all. I just stared at her with a smile crept on my face. Oh gosh I could stare at her for the rest of my life.

“Jiyong? Are you still listening? I’m sorry I talked too much I think,” she ducked her head.

“I love it. I love it when you talk, when you smile, when you pout, I love everything about you. You are the only woman that I want to spend my life with until I die. You don’t have to find out what things can make you be the best woman for me. Because I love you no matter what,” I kissed her hand and she smiled at me.

“Thank you Jiyong.”

I still held her hand as I took a small box out of my pocket. It was a ring which had my name curved on it. I took the ring finger and slid it.

“Happy first month anniversary Dara. I love you.”

***

Next day in the morning, my head was throbbing like hell and threw up again so I decided to see the doctor.

“Do I still have a chance to live?” I asked right after Doctor Kim examined me.

“Yes you do. But I’m afraid it’s very little. You should have come here earlier Mr. Kwon, I’m so sorry. We could do therapy but it just to block the dishes spread all over you vital organs.” I heaved a deep sigh smiled bitterly.

“Are you okay? I think you should tell your family about this,” his voice sounded very serious.

“I’ll handle it. May I ask you a favor? Please, stop showing me that pity look of yours. I’m not going to die because I have someone to protect.

I slammed the door and left.

My mind went blank as I took another beer can in front of me. I had my eyes set on TV but my mind was not there. Suddenly out of nowhere I threw the beer and screamed my lungs out. I questioned myself for things I got right at the moment. I wondered what did I do wrong that I faced all of these miserable things.

I locked myself in my apartment and didn’t go to work. I didn’t pick any call even when it was Dara who called me. I didn’t eat my proper meal. I felt like a walking death. Well, death was about to come anyway. When I sat down on my bedroom floor, a small thing was fallen on my lap. It should be the wind flew it from my desk. It’s Dara’s butterfly paper craft. She said it could make me happy. I played it awhile on my palm as I heaved a sigh and stoop up immediately.

That day I shaved and wore my best outfit and called Dara. We hadn’t met for a week and the moment I called her, she went panic and asked me so many questions. She was like a wife and I love it . I didn’t know whether I would have a chance to call her my wife. Seunghyun was mad too and he said he was going to come back to Seoul and beat me up. He was in Japan for a business trip.

“Do you miss me that much??” I asked Dara who held my arm tightly as she slowly placed her head on my right shoulder. She nodded and fidgeting herself.

It was dusk when we sat on a bench near Han River. The water looked so calm as calm as my feeling when she was beside me. I really wanted to stop the time and let us stayed like that forever.

“Jiyong. I’m so happy today but you are very quiet. Is there something wrong? I was worried when you didn’t show up for a week. I thought you left me and would never come back and…”

I sealed her lips with mine and it made her surprised. It was just a peck but enough to make her blush.

“I will never leave you. I promise.” I pulled her in to a hug and held her tightly.

“Yeobeoseyo. Dr.Kim please tell me everything that you can do to help me because I don’t want to die.”

First week I got chemotherapy and it was very painful but I tried to picture Dara’s smile that was waiting for me. Every time I had the therapy, I would call Dara that I should go out of the city for business trip. Day after day, the cancer was getting worse and the doctor said I should go abroad for having better medical treatment. Seunghyun had find it out about my sickness and he cried, said that if only he could change my place with him so that I didn’t have to suffer the pain. That day before I left Seoul, I made my own decision that would change my future and Dara.

“Jiyong,, I miss you so much. When will you come back here?

“I miss you too babe. Tomorrow let’s meet up at the park ne?”

“Eh? You won’t pick me up?  I want to introduce you with my Mom,Dad and Durami.”

“Oh. Just send my regards to them. I can’t pick you up tomorrow because my car is being repaired.”

“Uhmm.. okay..see you tomorrow. I love you.”

“Love you too Dara.”

I hang up the phone and threw myself on the bed. At first I had planned on telling Dara about my sickness but I was afraid that she would mourn for the rest of her own life because of my death and I didn’t want it happen.

“Let’s break up,” I said coldly.

“Jiyong. Are you okay?”

“I’m fine. I’m sorry but I think our relationship should be end up this way. You deserve a better guy.” I balled my fist and really wanted to kill myself.

“No. You’re hiding something from me I can feel it. I might be blind but I can feel something when it goes wrong. Please don’t hide anything from me Jiyong. I’m not that weak.”

Her words moved me but I had decided that I would take her away from the greater pain . She reached for my hands and kissed them. Tears were rolling down from her eyes. I couldn’t help myself to hug her and caressed her hair. She was sobbing and her shoulder was trembling.

“Tell me that you love me Jiyong. Please don’t lie to me. Please.”

“I’m sorry Dara. I don’t love you anymore. You can hate me as much as you want. It’s an easy way to forget me. I will never about forget you.”

She clutched her chest, sobbing while I cried silently with her. 

I left her there and called Thunder to pick her up. I watched them from a far until they left.

That was what happened eight months ago.

***

______________

Hello silent readers!! I have plenty of time to update so I update ! kekekekke~

I'm thinking about writing based on Dara POV next chap maybe ^^

ahh forgive me for my poor english grammar T.T

my beta is being busy with her fanfics so i don't want to annoy her :D

please drop a comment, critic whatever it is ^^ 

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@cray_on_u 

annyeong..!!