4. Windy Days

When I was a kid, my father and my mother had to migrate to Brunei for work, leaving me and my older brother with my grandmother. Anyway, when we were kids – my older brother and I – our dad used to carry us on his shoulders and the wind would blow, and we would act like we were flying; we would soar like free birds. The windy days became our thing, and somehow when our parents left, windy days rarely came around. But when it did, my older brother would hoist me up and carry me on his shoulder (mind you, he was – still is – very skinny and I was – still is – very chubby) and I would do what we always did. It reminded us of those days when our parents were still around; the happy days never forgotten. Again, I know that windy days may not be a reason for you to live. But it could be. If you are feeling suffocated and chained, go out, spread your wings, close your eyes and let the wind pass you by. In that moment, you are, you will be, you can be free.

Suzy pulled aside the velvet colored curtains and looked outside the glass window. Myungsoo’s neighbors were up and doing what she assumed was their usual routine. To her, they looked liked robots, but happy robots. Suzy let out a low chuckle because that somewhat did not make sense. Perhaps it didn’t at all, really. Heaving a sigh, she propped herself back down onto the couch and waited for Myungsoo to finish showering. She could hear the water hitting against the marbled tile of the bathroom and him singing some English song.

Then, the singing and the sound of water stopped. Suzy heard the toilet door open and close; a few seconds after, another door opened and closed. Suzy figured it was the door to his room. She heaved another sigh and looked around for something to do or read. That was one of the disadvantages about being her, she was impatient. After scouring for something to do or read, she found nothing, there was absolutely nothing. Now that Suzy thought of it, Myungsoo didn’t really have plenty of things in his house. And it made her wonder why.

Shaking the thought away for now, she leaned on the couch, closed her eyes and decided to count from one to ten. One, two, three––

“Suzy! Do you hear that?” Myungsoo interjected, causing her eyes to open in surprise. “Come on!”

Before she could respond, Myungsoo pulled her up and off the couch, and out the front door. He smelled good, like strawberries and vanilla. Suzy saw how his hair was still damp and how his low cut v-neck was worn inside out. She decided she should tell him that, “Myung—”

Myungsoo gave her no chance to do so. “Spread your wings, Suzy!” he interrupted, his voice excited.

Confused, Suzy stared at him strangely. She wasn’t sure what Myungsoo was asking of her. What wings; which wings?

Myungsoo chortled. “I meant your arms; spread them like your flying.”

Oh, she said inwardly and proceeded to raising both her arms at the same level. “What are we doing, Myungsoo?” she questioned.

Myungsoo moved behind her, so that, her back was facing him. After that, he placed his hands at each side of her hips and said: “close your eyes and feel the wind.”

Suzy complied. She felt uncomfortable at first but after a few minutes, the feeling went away. Behind her, Myungsoo was laughing. Suddenly, the wind blew strongly; she could hear the trees beating against each other and the howling of the wind.

“Windy days are a reason to live, too,” Myungsoo whispered from behind. Keeping her eyes closed, she listened on. “In Paradise, you will feel free, but in the meantime, here, where and when you are feeling suffocated, windy days will make you feel free.”

Suzy felt tears well up and flow down her cheeks. Windy days, she repeated, will make me feel free. Smiling, she nodded, and with Myungsoo she laughed as the wind continued to blow.