_Dara’s POV_

 

Everyone knows he is a player. Everyone tells me he is just playing with me and I don’t deserve all the BS I’m experiencing with him, but what can I do? I love him so much. I have already fallen deeply that I can’t go back anymore.

 

My love for him is never-ending. My whole world revolves around him. I know I can’t live without him anymore by my side. I have met my sweetest nightmare.

 

Kwon Jiyong.

 

“You know I love you so much right?” I said to the man sleeping beside me.

“Of course. And I love you too.” He said sweetly as he pulls me closer to him.

“Where were you last night?” I asked and I felt the sudden tension of his body.

“I was with the guys. Ahm…It was TOP hyung’s birth day. He wanted to celebrate it with the guys first before everyone else.” He said.

 

‘Lie.’ I thought to myself. ‘I can totally smell a woman’s fragrance from you…’

 

“It was our anniversary yesterday…” I said sadly.

“Oh sorry babe. I totally forgot about it but I’ll make it up okay? We can even make it up here today!” He said trying to sound cheerily as he raises my jaw to make me look at him. He leans toward me and captured my lips. He kisses me gently and then it became passionate. He always likes taking the control over me in everything and I like submitting to him.

 

“You are so beautiful, Dara. I cannot let anyone take you away from me…” He breathes to me after our lips parted.

“No one will take you away from me. I’m always yours.” I replied staring at his beautiful face and he smiled back like a little kid with satisfaction. Then his phone rings. He reached for his phone on the table near the bed and looked at the caller i.d and back to my face.

“Hold on. I need to take this call. I’ll be right back.” He said smiling at me as he gets out from the bed and goes inside the bath room. I sat on the bed and wrap the blanket around to cover myself. Few minutes later, he gets out from the bathroom, looking apologetic.

“What’s up?” I asked even though I knowing what is coming.

“I need to go. I’m so sorry baby girl. TOP hyung called me. You know it’s a hyung’s order.” He said as he started dressing up.

 

‘Lie. You are going to go to that woman, don’t you? Don’t go.’

 

“It’s okay. I understand. Maybe next time we can celebrate it.” I said forcing a smile.

“Thank you for understanding baby.” He said and was about to go out of the room when I called him.

“Jiyong ah, where is your bracelet?” I asked not finding the Cartier bracelet we bought for each other as a symbol of our relationship. He looked at his arm and then looked at me, trying to come up with the answer.

“I think I left it at home.” He said sticking his tongue out, trying to destruct me with his cuteness but unexpected question slipped out of my mouth.

 

“Are you only mine, Jiyong ah?” I asked and slowly his smile disappeared. I saw doubts clouding his face and there was a deadly silent in between the two of us before he answers.

“I am.” He said looking at you straight.

 

‘Another lie. How can you say that to me while looking at me straightly?’ My heart aches at this thought but I pushed that feeling away and smiled back at him.

 

“Please send my greeting to TOP Oppa.” I said. He walked back to me and kissed me.

“I love you baby girl.” He said smiling at you sweetly.

“I love you too baby boy.” I replied as I caressed his face gently and he left me.

 

Emptiness and coldness surrounds me after he left me. I looked over to my side where he was sleeping a while ago. I was already missing him. I decided to go out to distract myself so I called my friend, Bom. I’ve waited for her in our usual tent restaurant while I already started drinking by myself. I’m not really a good drinker but that night I just felt like I needed to.

 

“Are you alone, Miss?” A guy from the next table asked me.

“No, she is not.” A familiar voice said and she sat in front of me and gave the man a deadly glare. The man just bowed awkwardly and went back to his table in defeat.

“Yah. I told you to not drink alone. You know guys can’t resist your charms, especially that extra appeal you’re discharging right now when you have a drink.” Bom said and I just chuckled with her over protectiveness. I poured her a shot and she took it.

“Is it because of Jiyong again?” She asked and I just smiled faintly and took another shot of soju.

“Seriously, Dara, just leave him. He is such a douchebag. I can’t believe he is my boyfriend’s best friend.” She said annoyingly.

“How are you and TOP oppa?” I asked.

“We are okay. Didn’t I tell you he is in Japan for few days now? He is there for his business trip.” She said.

 

“I was with the guys. Ahm…It was TOP hyung’s birth day. He wanted to celebrate it with the guys first before everyone else.” He said.

 

“I need to go. I’m so sorry baby girl. TOP hyung called me. You know it’s a hyung’s order.” He said as he started dressing up.

 

My grip to the shot glass tightens as tears started to swell up in my eyes.

“Dara ah…” She called my name softly then I wasn’t able to control my tears anymore.

“I think it’s time to leave him…I can’t watch you anymore like this.” She said caressing my hand gently.

“If I leave him, he will be lonely.” I said. I know him more than anyone else. I know people think of him as a happy go lucky guy but despise that happy image he has, I know more than anyone else how vulnerable he is deep inside. A side I only knows and makes me want to hold onto him. I heard her sighed deeply.

“Even you have a limit, I don’t want you to reach that situation and I’m scared of what you are going to do, Dara ah. Please stop now. If he really loves you, he will not do these things to you.” She said and I just drink my shot silently.

 

I walked inside his apartment as usual. As I got inside his apartment, I saw a woman’s shoes. My heart started racing and my feet were glued in the entrance. I’ve heard the shower was . My feet started walking, betraying my feeling of wanting to leave. I walked through the familiar corridor and my hand reached for the door knob. My hand was shaking terribly while holding the knob but after few minutes of hesitation, I was finally able to retreat my hand away from the knob. I was about to leave when the door opened. A woman in her shoulder length hair appeared in front of me and I froze. I looked at her from foot to head and she was just wearing a bath robe. When your eyes met her, she smirked at you.

 

“You are Dara right? Jiyong is just taking a shower.” She said smugly.

“Wh-what are you doing here?” I stuttered nervously and she just smirked with my reaction.

“Are you seriously asking me that?” She said, sarcastic laughs escaping from . “Oh, I’m sorry if I’ve used your bath robe. I didn’t have anything else to wear.” She added intentionally hurting you. My hand balled in fists as I try my best to control my anger. She saw your reaction and a smile still escaped in her face.

“You want to slap me? Pull me out of his room? Do it, but I’m telling you that doesn’t change anything.” She said and I just glared at her.

“Why are you coming back?” I asked in my voice that is on the verge from crying.

“Because I want him back.” She replied coldly and this time she wasn’t smiling at all. “Why don’t you just let him go now, Dara-shi? You don’t know how much you are being a burden to him.” She said. My eyes drifted to the messy bed sheet in between the door space and hers.

“He hasn’t changed a little bit. He still sleep talk, isn’t he?” She asked me sarcastically, and then I saw a familiar thing on her arm. She noticed where my eyes are as she also looks at it then looks back at me. My hand unconsciously reached for the same thing on my arm and she also noticed that.

“Jiyong gave his to me, just in case you are looking for an answer.” She said smugly. I couldn’t take it anymore. My tears dropped. I quickly turned around and walked back to the door. In the background, I could still hear her chuckling in victory.

 

I don’t know how I got back home. My mind was fuzzy. I went straight to my bed and laid down there. Just like my current feeling, the weather outside started to darken and the night came. I finally rise from my bed and my eyes drifted to the sleeping pills on the side table of my bed.

 

“Dara ah, this is just a bad dream. You just need to sleep it off.” I said to myself. I reached for the pills and took two tablets from it, but drowsiness is still not visiting me like usual. I took two more pills, then two more…and another few pills more. I needed more to fall asleep. I just needed to sleep and everything else will be okay so I just continued to take more until the bottle was empty. The scene a while ago keeps replaying in my mind. I can feel my heart being burned slowly.

 

The room was dead silence not until I’ve heard my telephone ringing. I looked at the number and after few more rings; I decided to pick it up. Upon hearing the voice from the other line, my tears started to resurface again and soon I was already crying then bawling.

 

“Jiyong ah...why did you do this to me? Why?...was I not a good girlfriend enough for you? Did she love you more than I loved you? I couldn’t take this anymore…I loved you so much but why…I love you Jiyong ah…please…I love you…please only love me…I love y--” Before I was able to finish my sentence, everything turned black in front of me.

 

_End of POV_

 

_Jiyong’s POV_

 

Everyone thinks being Kwon Jiyong is awesome. I admit, it’s awesome but not everything. Everyone one thinks I’m a player but everyone doesn’t know that behind that is a woman who made me into that. I loved her with all of my heart but she broke my heart in thousand pieces. She told me she thought I wasn’t serious with her so she wasn’t serious at me.

 

“Don’t tell me, you seriously love me right? That wouldn’t be Kwon Jiyong that everyone knows.” She said sarcastically.

 

At the end of the day, she liked me because of my exterior and the good package that comes with me. I hated myself. I hated myself because I let everyone defines me who I am. I realized then how coward I am. I become scared to show my real self. I become scared to love someone again and I came up with a conclusion that it is better to be loved than to love.

 

Then I met this girl, Dara Park. She was different from other girls. She picked up the broken pieces of my heart and fixed it. She stays beside me even during my childish tantrums. She embraces the bad package that comes with me. She understands how vulnerable I am. She loves me more than anyone else and I also learn to love her. Everyone told me how lucky I am to have her in my life. I tried to change for her and days passed by going smoothly with her. She was totally a good to be true girlfriend for me.

 

But that was her problem for me. She is too much a good to be true girlfriend for me. She is too much a nice girlfriend for me. I wasn’t able to see her flaw while I felt like I’m full with it. I became insecure and scared of our relationship. What if she sees a better man than me? What if one day she realizes she is too good for me? As my feelings for her grew, so does my insecurities. I started to put distance on her since every time I see her my insecurities are killing me. Then the feeling of wanting to test her was born inside of me. I wanted to test how much she loves me and just like an evil’s temptation, I run into my ex-girlfriend. And just like Adam wasn’t able to resist eating the apple with Eve’s seduction, I took the bait.

 

I felt horrible waking up and seeing a woman beside me that’s not her. I quickly got up from the bed and left my house. It was still 5 a.m. in the morning but my feel brought me to her place. I opened the door and the room was still dark. I walked into her room and there I saw an angel sleeping peacefully in her bed. I went closer to her and sat on the side of the bed. I leaned to take a look at this beautiful creature and my finger pushed the hairs on her face back to her ear. Noticing my presence, she opened her eyes sleepily.

“Jiyong ah…I called you so many times…” She said sleepily and I looked at my phone and saw few missed calls and messages from her.

“I’m sorry baby, I didn’t notice it.” I whispered.

“What time is it…” She asked and was about to get up when I pushed her back to the bed and kissed her. I needed her now. I needed to erase that woman’s feeling in me. I looked at her after we broke our kiss and she looked back at me in hint of painful expression. Does she know I slept with other girl? Probably, yes, with the smell of the perfume in me. Is she going to be mad at me and tell me it’s over? I’ve waited for her reaction but she just looked at me quietly and reached for my face and caressed it gently. I apologized so many times within myself while I was holding and making love with her the whole times. I wanted to tell her through my body, how much I love her more than anything else.

 

I woke up with the sun rays hitting my face. I looked at the girl beside me nervously and there I saw her sleeping and perfectly fitting inside my arm. I thought to myself, I should really stop this foolish game of mine. I need to take care of this girl for my entire life but Karma was just too fast.

 

“Hello. What do you want?” I said coldly upon answering the call.

“I have something to show you. Check your phone.” She said funnily over the line. I hold the call and check my inbox then I saw a picture of me in the bed with her. I froze.

“He-hello?” You stuttered.

“I’ll be waiting at your place. Come here now if you don’t want me to send this to your girlfriend.” She said threateningly. I cursed after ending the call. I got out from the bath room and quickly got dress. I need to fix this mess or else I’ll lose her. I was so panicky deep inside to leave that I missed how her expression was clouded.

 

“Are you only mine, Jiyong ah?” She asked and slowly my smile disappeared. I was surprised by her sudden question and why is she asking me this now? Should I tell her? But how? Questions are bombarding me that I lost words, but if I keep my silence, she will misunderstood me more so I’ve finally decided to answer.

“I am.” I said looking straight at her.

 

‘Please believe me baby girl. You are the only girl in my life.’ Even the fact proves that I cheated on her, the answer I gave her at that time was sincere.

 

“Please send my greeting to TOP Oppa.” She said. I walked back to her and kissed her.

“I love you baby girl.” I said smiling at her sweetly.

“I love you too baby boy.” She replied as she caressed my face gently and I finally left me.

 

‘Everything will be alright, baby girl. I promise I won’t lie to you anymore. I won’t test you anymore. I’ll stop being insecure and blamed you for it, so please believe me and I’ll fix everything.’ I thought to myself as I was on my way back to my apartment.

 

“I want you back, Jiyong ah.” Kiko, my ex-girlfriend said.

“What happened to us last night is a mistake. I’m so sorry, Kiko but I love my girlfriend.” I said clearly and I saw the hurt in her face. She was once the apple of your life but she also left you wounded.

“I’m okay if I’m not your no. 1.” She said.

“I’m sorry, please just go home. We will not see each other ever again.” I said and decided to take a shower. I have done something unforgivable to Dara and how I wish shower can wash away all of those.

 

Few weeks later:

 

After that day, I can’t reach Dara’s phone anymore. I’ve went to her place but no one is answering. She just disappeared like a bubble. I was devastated.

 

“Yah, Jiyong ah, stop drinking every night.” Taeyang, my friend said as he took away the shot glass from my hand.

“You haven’t heard about her from Bom, TOP hyung?” Seungri asked TOP hyung.

“Nah. Even Bom can’t reach her suddenly.” TOP hyung answered.

“Dara noona is not the type of girl who disappears suddenly….” Daesung said.

“I need to go to a club.” I answered with the alcohol kicking on me.

“Are you serious? In this state?” Taeyang asked in astonishment.

“I’m not drunk yet, okay? Just leave me alone if you guys don’t want to come with me.” I said feeling irritated with my friends over reaction. I needed destruction or else I will go crazy just thinking about her. Upon getting a table in the club with my friends, I just keep ordering drinks and trying to have fun when a familiar girl caught my attention in the middle of the dance floor. My eyes couldn’t believe what I was seeing in front of me. I rushed to the dance floor and looked for her and but I couldn’t find her nowhere.

 

‘Did I just mistake her with someone?’ I thought to myself. I can feel myself sobering up and everything feel meaningless anymore, so I decided to leave when someone wrapped her arm around my waist.

“Are you looking for me?” She breathes to my ear. That voice. I know that voice. I turned around and saw the girl that I’ve been looking around for the past few weeks.

“Dara ah…” I called her name longingly.

“Did you miss me, Jiyong ah?” She said while caressing my face. I pulled her and hugged her tightly.

“Where have you been? I was looking for you badly. I thought you leave me…I missed you so much baby girl. I missed you so much…” I said as tear run down my cheek as I continued to hug her in my arms.

 

_End of POV_

 

_Third Person POV_

 

She puts her eyeliner on and stared at her face with satisfaction. She grabs her purse and heads off to a club. As soon as she enters the place, everyone is already looking at her. A smirk escaped her goddess face. She orders a shot in the bar, ignoring all the invitation she was getting from all other men. She looks around the place and finally found who she is looking for. She took the shot and walked to the middle of the dance floor, where he could spot her. She started dancing along with the club music and ignoring all those guys who try to dance with her. Her objective was just one. She saw her target looking at her, so it’s already a start of her game time. She quickly hides herself in the crowd and just watches the man looks for her. She watches him from a little far. How beautiful he is compare to other men in there. How he looks so sad standing all alone there like a dead person. When she noticed that he was about to leave she heads her way to him. She wraps her arms around him, inhaling his manly scent.

 

“Are you looking for me?” She breathes to his ear. He quickly turned around and looked surprised seeing her.

“Dara ah…” He called her name longingly.

“Did you miss me, Jiyong ah?” She said while caressing his face. He pulled her and hugged her tightly.

“Where have you been? I was looking for you badly. I thought you leave me…I missed you so much baby girl. I missed you so much…” He said as tear run down his cheek as he continued to hug her in his arms.

 

“I got you, Kwon Jiyong.” She mouthed behind him with spiteful grin on her face.

 

_POV

 

_Sandara’S POV_

 

My eyes caught an old notebook on the desk. I walked towards it and took the notebook in my hand. It’s a diary. I opened it and started reading. It’s was stuff all about Kwon Jiyong and how she felt as their relationship deepen. My heart aches as I get closer to its end. Just thinking how she went through all of this painful stuff alone suffocates me. I closed the diary and left it there on the desk. I walked around the room and found a picture frame near the bed. I picked up the picture frame and just stare at the happy couple in it. I looked at carefully the face of the man like burning it in my memory, and then an empty bottle of sleeping pills caught my eyes. My eyes then roamed around the room, imagining what happened in this room. How she was crying all alone in this room. Anger lights inside of me.

 

“What should I do?” I asked to myself upon looking up to the mirror on the wall near the bed. I looked at myself and smirked, and then I looked back to the picture frame I was still holding. I walked back to the living room, where I left my bag to get something. As I found what I was looking for I put it in my arm and traced the name engraved into the Cartier bracelet.

 

“Daragon”

 

“Wait for me, Jiyong ah. I’ll come for you.” I said as I stare at the man in the picture, who looks so happy, coldly.

 

Weeks passed by as my phone continuous to ring from his calls and messages. I needed him to long for me. I needed him to know his position. I needed time to face him and after a long period of time, I’ve finally decided to meet him. Meet the apple of my life. After founding me in the club, he pulled me outside of it for a talk. I looked at him. He looks so wasted and miserable.

 

‘Am I seeing the right man in front of me? Is he really the “Kwon Jiyong”?’ I thought to myself.

“I’ve been looking for you everywhere, Dara ah. Why did you leave me suddenly?” He asked as he reached for my hands and held it firmly.

“I needed time for myself.” I replied and he looked at me speechlessly. “You know, Jiyong ah, I’ve been thinking…I don’t think we should continue our relationship.” I said and I see a mixed emotion from his face. He looks surprised, confused and heartbroken.

“Wha-what are you talking about, baby? Did something happen while you were away?” You are just playing pranks on me right now, don’t you?” He said while forcefully chuckling. I shook my head in denial and the smile fades away from his face again.

“The Dara Park that you love is gone. I’m no longer the Dara you know.” I said coldly.

“No…baby girl please…if there is something that you want me to fix, I’ll do it, just don’t break up with me. I love you so much…” He said desperately as tears started to pour down his cheeks while still holding my hands.

“Too bad I don’t love you anymore.” I said coldly while he looks up to you in hurt expression. “In fact, I HATE YOU. I hate you so much that it disgusts me.” I said spitefully and I just watch him crumble down to his knees.

 

‘Is this only your limit, Kwon Jiyong?’ I thought to myself in disappointment. I was about to leave when he hugged me from behind.

 

“Please let me stay beside you…I swear I’ll be good from now on. I will not make you cry no more…just please Dara ah, don’t leave me…” He said hugging me tightly. A smirked escaped my face.

“Are you sure you will be able to stay with me no matter what?” I asked as I turned around to face this desperate man in front of me.

“If that will make me win you back, I’ll do it.” He said with a little hope in his eyes.

“From now on, I’ll do all the thing I wasn’t able to do when I was with you.” I told him with grin in my face.

 

After that night, he follows me around like a desperate dog. I didn’t care about him at all. I literally went out almost every night, showing him I was totally happy without him. I flirted with other men, just like he has done. I skipped my dates with him purposely. I threw tantrums on him. Everything he has done, I made sure I paid it back to him until that one last day I prepared for him.

 

“Where are we going?” He asked.

“It’s a surprise.” I replied to him as I wrap my arms to his sweetly and I saw him smile.

“I’m so happy that you have made time for me.” He said happily.

“Of course, you’ve been through a lot of stuff these past few weeks with me.” I replied smiling to him sweetly.

 

‘Smile, Jiyong ah, smile since this will be the last time you will be able to smile.’ A voice in me said coldly. We arrived in our destination and I saw the change of reaction of his face. He looked at me in question.

“Dara ah, why are we in the hospital?” He asked me worriedly.

“There is someone I really want you to meet.” I said happily and pulled him inside. We got in front of the room and I turned to look at him. He still looks unsure about the situation.

“Don’t worry, you just need to meet someone. Besides, you are with me.” I told him cheerfully and I saw him smiled back. I opened the door and walked inside as he follows me.

 

“Who is in he-” He continues to ask as he looks around the room but when he finally saw the person lying in bed, he lost his word and froze.

“Jiyong ah, you told me you missed her, so I brought you here.” I told him as I stood beside the bed.

“No…this is impossible…” He said as he looks at my face and her face alternately.

“It is possible. I’m Dara’s twins’ sister, Sandara.” I told him, smile disappearing from my face. He shook his head in denial as his eye catches the picture of me and Dara, when we were young in the table.

“I told you from the beginning. The Dara that you love is gone. You made her into this. You drove my sister into comatose!” I shouted at him in fury.

 

I took my phone and dialed excitedly the familiar number on my phone. After a few ring, the other line finally answered.

“Dara ah! I’m back in Seoul! I’m heading to your place.” I said happily but you only hear sobs from the other line.

“Dara ah? Is there something wrong?” I asked worriedly.

“Sandara, I’m sorry…I don’t think I can welcome you.” She said weakly.

“Are you crying because of that? You are so silly. Don’t worry, I can wait for you outside your apartment. What time are you coming home?” I asked.

“I really wanted to see you before I leave, Sandara.” She said.

“Yah, Dara, where are you going? You are freaking me out.” I said nervously.

“I wish I’m strong like you Sandara. Maybe if I was more like you, Jiyong wouldn’t be bored with me…” She said in between her cries.

“Did you guys fight again? Let’s talk about this when I get there okay? Don’t worry about it.” I said trying to comfort her.

“Jiyong ah...why did you do this to me? Why?...was I not a good girlfriend enough for you? Did she love you more than I loved you? I couldn’t take this anymore…I loved you so much but why…I love you Jiyong ah…please…I love you…please only love me…I love y--”

 

“No…Dara ah…” He said and walked closer to her. His hands were shaking as he reaches out to touch her face. Tears pouring out from his eyes endlessly. Tears also started to swell up in my eyes. Anger and despair were fighting inside of me. I watched him crying, kneeling in front of her thinking that he deserves all of this. This is even nothing comparing to my lost. He looked up on me with question in his face.

“No matter how much you look at me, the fact that I’m not her is not going to change.” I told to him heartlessly.

“Why…why did you just tell me sooner…” He asked in between his cries.

“I wanted revenge.” I answered and he just turned quiet.

 

“I wanted you to experience what she experienced. I wanted you to suffer thinking that I’m her. I wanted to say I hate you from the same face of the woman you love and from now on, I want you to be remembered of what you have done to the woman who only knew how to love you by seeing my face. Continue to live loving me thinking that I’m her while I continue to live hating you from the bottom of my heart. That’s your punishment, Kwon Jiyong.” I said as tear run down my cheeks.

 

_End of POV_

 

Kindly let me know of what you think about this fic! and also don't forget to check out my other fics :)))

Sincerely,

ilovehim