12 years old Suzy introduce herself in front of her new friend.

“Hi, my name Kim Suji”

The teacher, Mrs Gil, wait for her next introduction. But Suzy just standing there and act like she didn’t care. Mrs Gil smile at her.

“Do you have anything to say to your new friend Suji?”

Suzy look at Mrs Gil coldly

“No”

Mrs Gil was taken aback with her word. She know that this new student of her is having a hard time now. Her parents just divorce a month ago. She follow her mother moving from Seoul to Busan. Mrs Gil try to control herself, she smile again and clap her hand.

“Ah…kids, Suji just move out from Seoul. Please help her to know our school better. Okay?”

“Yes Mrs Gil”

Mrs Gil show Suzy where her seat is

“Suji, you sit in the back. Unfortunately Myungsoo, who sit beside you, didn’t come to school today. He is a transferred student too. I’m sure you can be good friends”

Suzy didn’t nod or anything. After Mrs Gil show her seat, she just walks to it. She didn’t care about how everyone in the class looking at her. She put her bag on the empty seat next to her, taking her book out from her bag and look at Mrs Gil again.

Mrs Gil sighed, this is the bad effect of divorce. Its children who become the greatest victim here. She smiled to her class

“Ok kids…lets continue our class. You can talk further with Suji when its lunch hour”

So the class begin again.

When its lunch time, everyone take out their food supply except Suzy.She gulp when she see her classmate start to enjoy their lunch. She’s holding her stomach. One of her classmates, a girl named Sulli approach her

“Hi…you don’t bring any lunch? Wants to join me?”

She proudly show off her lunch, it was a fried rice that mold into a bear shape, with sausage and cherry tomato. It looks very delicious. Suzy took a glances of it and backed off

“I don’t like it”

Sulli was surprised to hear such answer

“Try it first…my mom made this special for me”

Suzy become furious

“I said I don’t like it…!”

Sulli frown. She didn’t like this new student. She didn’t say anything and follow her friends to eat with them. They took a glances of Suzy and start to talk about her. A boy named Wooyoung tried his luck. He smiled and approach her

“Hi…Mrs  Gil said that you moved out from Seoul..what is it like to live there?”

Suzy looks at Wooyoung

“It’s 100 times better than this place!”

Wooyoung becomes angry when he heard her reply

“Yahh! What so good with Seoul? You said that it was 100 times better than here…so why you moved here? Just stay at that Seoul of yours!”

Suzy looks at Wooyoung furiously. She didn’t say anything. She run out from the class and slam the door. She run until she found a tree in school’s backyard. She sit there and start to cry. She hate this place. She wants to go back to Seoul to meet her dad and her friends. When she’s back to her class, no one wants to make friend with her. She didn’t care.

The next morning, Suzy walks to school reluctantly. She purposedlygo to school late, because she didn’t want to talk with her classmates. When Suzy get into her class, the atmosphere becomes tense. Everyone in the class stop talking and look at her from up to toe. Suzy ignore them. She see someone sit next to her and remember that yesterday Mrs Gil said there’s one person who’s absent yesterday. The way he look at Suzy was different from her other classmates. Maybe because he’s absent yesterday, she thinks again. When Suzy got into her chair and put her bag, he raised his hand and smile

“Hi…my name Kim Myungsoo. I’m a transferred student too just like you…”

Suzy looks at him. There’s something with this boy that makes her wants to replied his handshake. But Suzy pretend like she didn’t feel it. She didn’t say anything and straight to sit in her chair. Myungsoo smiled when she didn’t shake his hand back. He pulled it off again and act that nothing happened. Luckily the teacher came after that so Suzy could ignore this strange guilty feeling inside her.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

“Doctor Suzy?”

JiEun’svoice snap back Suzy from her daydream

“Ah..y..yes?”

JiEun smiled

“Judging from that expression of yours…I’m sure you know him right?”

Suzy smiled back

“Yes… I knew Kim Myungsoo, he’s an old friend of mine”

She smiled bitterly

“Really? Thanks God we’ve finally found you”

Suzy becomes confused

“What this got to do with Myungsoo?”

JiEun smiled

“This project is for him, doctor Suzy”

Suzy raised her eyebrow

“I don’t get it…”

JiEun sighed

“This is too complicated to say. Its better if you see him first in person”

“See him in person? Where is he now? Why he didn’t see me himself?”

There’s sadness in JiEun’s expression

“I hope you willing to go with me to GwangJu. You’ll know the answer there”

Suzy open to protest, but JiEun raise from her chair and ready to go

“I’m going with next morning flight to GwangJu. I hope you could go with me. This is my number. Called me if you’re willing to go”

JiEun gives Suzy a slight bow

“Thankyou for meeting me doctor Suzy. See you tomorrow”

JiEun walks out Suzy’s room. Suzy raised from her chair and called her, but she didn’t look back. Suzy take the card that JiEun left in her desk. She turn the card over and over again. This is weird….so weird. Min, Jia, and Fei enthusiastically knocked her door after JiEun left the clinic.

“How is it doctor? What did she said to you? Did you get any role in the drama?”

Suzy shake her head.

“I don’t know…she didn’t said anything about the role”

Jia feel disappointed

“So that’s mean that you’re not the one they looking for?”

Suzy didn’t answer the question. She’s thinking hard, but she couldn’t find the answer. Suddenly something came into her mind.

“Jia…what time does the drama usually started?”

Jia look at her watch

“Well…it’s going to start in the next five minutes doctor. Why?”

Suzy walks out from her room

“Good…I want to see it”

The three girls look at each other with puzzled look. Suzy usually didn’t like to watch any drama. She prefer to watch tv cable that present documentary show like national geographic, or oprahwinfrey. Jia shrugged her shoulder and follow her boss. Min and Fei didn’t have any choice than follow her action.

Suzy watch the drama enthusiastically. She’s surprised when knowing the lead role’s name are myungsoo and suji. The drama tell about Myungsoo and Suji who fell in love when they’re in elementary school. CheerfullSuji always help Myungsoowho’s a little bit introvert. Thanks to Suji, he could open his heart to everyone around him. They were connected by a painting because they had the same hobby which is drawing. Suji paints two hands that connected by red strings. Because Myungsoo said that everyone in this world are connected with the red string with their soulmate. When they realize that they like each other, suddenly Myungsoo moved out because his grandparent took him. When he comeback to find Suji, he couldn’t find her. No one knows where she is.

The girls get surprised when they see Suzy cries.

“Doctor? Are you allright?”

Suzy shake her head. She couldn’t say anything. She try to stand up but suddenly her feet feels weak. She almost fall if only Min didn’t catch her. Min and Fei put her back on the couch. They ask her what is going on, but Suzy still keep silence. A minutes later Seunghyun came to picked up Suzy. He was surprised when he saw her crying. Hurriedly he approach her and soothe her.

“Hei…Suzy..what’s going on?”

He look at Jia, asking for an explanation. But Jia couldn’t answer. Suddenly Suzy speaks with small voice

“Seunghyun….could you take me to the car? Please?”

Seunghyun hurriedly nod and help her to walk to the car. He left her in the car to get her stuff inside. Seunghyun ask Jia again what had happened with Suzy, she could only answer that she’s crying after she watched a drama. Seunghyun thanked her. He get Suzy’s stuff and go back to car.

Suzy was drown into her mind when Seunghyun get back to the car. He put Suzy’s bag on the backseat and started the engine. He looks at her with worry. She never act like this before. After a while driving, he braced himself asking

“Hei…are you allright?”

Suzy look at him and smile. She’s stop crying now

Seunghyun replied her smile

“What happen? Jia told me it was because you saw a drama”

Suzy bite her lips. Somehow, she didn’t want to tell Seunghyun about this, but she know that he had the right to know.

“I’m going to GwangJu tomorrow morning”

Seunghyun get surprised

“Eh? Why?”

“I had to meet an old friend”

“Old friend? Who’s she?

Suzy sighed

“His name is Myungsoo….”

Senghyun suddenly stop his car

“A man? Why I never heard about him from you?”

Suzy look at Seunghyun

“Because I never met him again since I was 12”

There’s silence between them

“What did he wants from you?”

Suzy shake her head

“I don’t know”

Seunghyun take a close look at Suzy. Somehow he got a bad feeling about this but he didn’t want to insist her. He take a deep breath

“Do you want me to take you to the airport tomorrow?”

Suzy smiled at him

“No…I’ll get a taxi. Besides, you get night shift today right? You’ll get exhausted”

Seunghyun hold Suzy’s hand. He saw their engagement ring in her finger

“Promise me that you’ll let me know if you arrived there”

Suzy squeeze Seunghyun hand’s gently. Try to make him better

“Promise…”

Seunghyun smiled and turned his car again. He drive Suzy to her house. She get off the car and wave him goodbye. Seunghyun waits until Suzy go in her house then he drive his car back to the hospital.

That afternoon, Suzy called JiEun, telling her that she’ll go with her. JiEun was happy to hear that. She give her detail about what time they’ll go. After done with JiEun, Suzy calling some of her colleagues, asking if they could replace her for a day. Suzy didn’t packed her stuff. Their flight will be a short flight so she thinks she could comeback with the next flight on the same day after she meets Myungsoo.

Suzy sit on her bed, wandering.

“Myungsoo…what is he looked like now?”

Suzy search inside her cabinet. After a while looking, she found what she’s been searching for. A photo album. She turn the pages one by one until she found the only Myungsoo picture that she had. The picture was taken when their class won the athletic race at the class meeting. All of her classmates were there. Including Myungsoo. Suzy was one of the runner, she’s smiling happily with the trophy in her hand. Myungsoo is next to her, he is smiling. When Suzy take a closer look at the picture, she found out that Myungsoo was smiling while watching her, not the camera. She touchMyungsoo’s face gently.

“Myungsoo….why I still get this heartbeat everytime I remember you”

That night Suzy had a dream…a scene that happened years ago between her and Myungsoo.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

13 years ago

Suzy really had a hard time to mingle with her classmates. She never stay in class during lunch and prefer to stay in her hide out. She act like a brat. She didn’t like to live there. But days go by, she noticed something strange with him. She noticed that Myungsoo never join them during PE class. Noticed that no matter the weather is, hot or cold, he always wrap himself with a jacket and a gloves. He also put a masker. He just sit under the tree, watching his classmates. Suzy noticed that he looks lonely. Sometimes he just sit in the classroom waiting for them to finish PE class. He also absent to the class often. Well, everyone in their classmates seems to get used to it. One day, Suzy accidently look at his desk space. What she saw there makes her smile a little. It turns out that Myungsoo had talent on drawing. He draw his classmates without them noticing. One drawing attract Suzy’s attention. It’s her, sitting under the tree. She sit in his chair and look around. And finally she realizes that Myungsoo could see her from the class.

At that time, Suzy always had a thing with people who had talent on drawing. She likes to watch anime and reading comic, and knowing that Myungsoo had talent on drawing, makes her interested in him. So when Myungsoo come to school the next day, Suzy ask him about the sketch. She ask him to teach her how to draw. Myungsoo smiled and accept her plea. From that day eventually they become good friends. Suzy start to open her heart and so did Myungsoo. Most of the time, they spent their free time in Suzy’s hideout. If they in the class, they’ll busy drawing and comment at each other sketch.

And the happiest moment is when their other classmates noted their hobby. They praised them and tell them to make a comic about them. Suzy and Myungsoo finally had a friend. They made sketch about their class activities and hang it around the class, makes some ornament to decorate their class.

Myungsoo smiled when he saw Suzy’s smile. He know that this girl had a beautiful smile since the first time he saw her. When accidently he saw her on her hideout tree, smiling to the rabbit school’s pet, he know he liked her. He’s so happy when Suzy finally could open herself to him and their classmates. When Suzy tell him that she think of him as her best friend, he felt like the happiest person on earth.

He told her many stories and fairy tale, one of them is stories about soulmate that attached by red strings on their finger. Suzy’s eyes becomes wider when she heard that story. She look at her finger and thinking who’s her soulmate could be, and she couldn’t stop her blushing when Myungsoo’s face came across her mind. She know she liked her more than friend.

So, Suzy draws a girl from behind. The girl was sitting, and there’s sea in front of her. Red strings comes out from her finger but she didn’t draw where the strings ended. Suzy also wrote a letter that tellMyungsoo that she like him more than friend. If he had the same feeling as her, she ask him to meet her at their hideout at 5pm. Suzy secretly put the two item in Myungsoo’s school bag and crossed her finger, wishing that Myungsoo would reply her feeling.

The school over at 1pm. Suzy hurriedly go home without saying goodbye to Myungsoo like she used to do, because she know her face would tell him what her heart’s feeling. Myungsoo feel a little bit disappointed when Suzy run passing him without saying anything. He didn’t know yet about the truth behind her strange behavior.

Suzy came to the place at 4pm. She’s afraid that Myungsoo would come in early and go home when he couldn’t find her there. She waited with her heartbeat goes crazy. Every minute passed makes her heart beat faster. She walks around the tree over and over again. Couldn’t stop to take a peek on her watch every 5 seconds. When it’s 5pm already, she still didn’t see Myungsoo coming. She sighed but she still waiting. She keep her positive mind and tell herself that maybe he’s late. Time goes by but she still couldn’t see him. She waited there for almost 4 hours when finally she gives up. She couldn’t stop her tears feeling his rejection.

“He only think of me as his friend”

When she could face the reality that Myungsoo only think of her as his friend, she wipe her tears. She won’t force Myungsoo to accept her feeling. If he only think of her as his friend, then let her be his best friend forever and ever. She force a smile to herself even that she knows that her heart breaks. She walks home slowly. She lied to her mother, tell her that she go study in her friend’s house. She cries again when she thinks about him. It’s the first time she like someone, and had rejected like that makes her heart hurt. She didn’t know what will she said to him when they meet at school tomorrow.

The next day, Suzy woke up with heavy feeling. She really didn’t want to go to school today or at least a few days later. But her mother keep nagging her and the fact that they had a test today force her to get up and get ready to go to school. She didn’t surprise when Myungsoo’s not there yet. These days he always comes late to school and he looks paler than usual. When she ask is he sick or something, he just answered that his body is weak so he couldn’t do physical activities. First class over and now the second class.Until the fourth class where the test begin, Myungsoo still absent. Somehow Suzy feel glad because she didn’t have to look at him today, but she couldn’t lie to herself that she missed him. That day Myungsoo didn’t go to school.

The next morning, Suzy waited for Myungsoo but he didn’t come. She started to worry about him. She askMrs Gil if she knows about Myungsoo’swhereabout. Mrs Gil tell her that she’ll ask to his grandfather about Myungsoo. And the next day Mrs Gil inform the class that Myungsoo had moved out from Busan.

“I just got the news from Myungsoo’s grandparent that they moved out from Busan two days ago. Unfortunately he didn’t tell me their new address. Let’s just hope that Myungsoo will be happy in his new place”

Everyone in the class feel sad but none of them could feel sadder than Suzy. She felt lonely and sad without Myungsoo. She couldn’t stop thinking whether he’s move out because her feelings for him or not. She hated herself why she act careless…giving him that drawing and that love letter. If she know that this going to happen, she would just keep her feeling to herself. With Myungsoo gone, there’s something missing in Suzy’s too. She remind herself to keep her feelings for herself. She didn’t want to fall in love again or at least say the word ‘love’ again. She didn’t act like a brat, but she take distance again with her classmates. When three months later her mother married again with MrBae and they decided to go to Canada, she didn’t feel sad about leaving her classmates. She never contacted them again since then, not even when they moved back to Korea.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

The next morning, Suzy prepare herself to go to Gwangju. She wears a green knitted blouse with cream skirt and matching shoes and bag. She do ponytail to her hair, apply some mascara and lipgloss to her face just to make her not looking so pale. She kissed her mother goodbye, telling her that she just doing some sort trip to Gwangju and will be home at the same day. She inhale and exhale a big breath when she comes out from her house and waiting for the taxi she ordered the night before. On her way to the airport she try not to think something weird. But she is nervous. She didn’t expect that after these years Myungsoo would looking for her and with mysterious way like this. Seunghyun called her to wish her a safe trip to Gwangju.

“Call me when you got there okay?”

Suzy laughed, she thinks Seunghyun sometimes is too protective to her

“Ok..ok..i get it Seunghyun”

“If anything happens…let me know as soon as possible”

“Okay..i’ll let you be the first person I tell when something’s happen. Is there anything else?it’s just a short trip Seunghyun..”

Seunghyun didn’t answer

“hello…Seunghyun…are you there?”

“Suzy…”

“mmm?”

“I love you…always and forever”

Somehow Suzy felt a guilt in her heart. She is now on her way to meet Myungsoo, her first love. She couldn’t help but feeling guilty to Seunghyun.

“Suzy?”

“…mmm…I know Seunghyun. Got to hung up now. Bye”

Suzy ended the phone call. She had arrived to the airport. She pays the taxi bill and run inside to meet JiEun. Meanwhile Seunghyun still look at his phone. Suzy’s face become his screen saver. He touch her face gently and sighed

“Why I couldn’t stop myself thinking that this trip is a bad idea? I shouldn’t let you meet him”

Suzy greet JiEun once they met. JiEun smiled and hand her the plane ticket

“I’m so glad you could go with me doctor Suzy”

“Ahh…just call me Suzy…after all, you’re not my patient are you?”

“Allright..”

They check in and waited for the boarding call. JiEun buy some bread and a cup of coffee. She offered Suzy but she refuses, she had her breakfast already. Suzy watched JiEun eat her bread and after some time, she couldn’t hold her curiosity.

“So JiEun…could you tell me why Myungsoo didn’t come and see me in person?”

JiEun swallow her bread before answer

“I’m sorry Suzy, but I couldn’t tell you now. Don’t worry, soon you will see him”

Suzy pout a bit

“AishMyungsoo….wait till I meet you..”

JiEun watched Suzy closely

“You…you and Myungsoo really a good friend aren’t you?”

Suzy bit her lips

“I don’t know…maybe it’s only me who think like that”

JiEun hold Suzy’s hand

“He always think about you..”

Suzy look back at JiEun

“Really?is what happened in the drama is the truth?”

But JiEun didn’t answer her question.

Their plane has arrived in the airport. Suzy got a seat near the window and JiEun sit next to her. They didn’t talk inside the plane. JiEun seems hard enough to be persuaded, so Suzy give up and just let it flow. She look at the view behind the window. Thinking about Myungsoo and what will she said to him after all these years. Did he change? Will she ask why he suddenly moved out? Why he never contact her again? And…did he think of her only as friend?.

“Not like I care about it now…I had Seunghyun now”, Suzy tell herself

But she couldn’t lie that somehow Myungsoo had stay in her heart for all these years. There’s always place for him. In fact, if she think of it again, she never had a boyfriend beside Seunghyun. It seems hard to forget him. Everytime she think that she forget about him, he will show up in her dream. And the dream always end the same, she waited in that tree alone and cry.

They arrived in Gwangju airport safely. JiEun took a taxi to get them to Myungsoo’s place. This time Suzy didn’t ask any question. She followed JiEun enter the taxi. But she started to feel something weird when she realizes that they’re getting closer and closer to Gwangju Hospital. She become suspicious, and when their taxi get inside the hospital, she knows she’s right. JiEun pays the taxi bill and get down from it followed by Suzy. When JiEun walks into the hospital, she stopped a while because Suzy is holding her arm strongly.

“Tell me JiEun…what Myungsoo doing in here?”

JiEun cringe a little because of her strong grip

“Please…just be patient for a little more time okay?”

Suzy shake her head

“No…I won’t move from here before you tell me the truth”

Both of them look at each other. Waiting for the other party to give up. And it turns out JiEun lost. She sighed

“Okay…I’ll tell you the truth..Now can you let go of your grip?”

Suzy still not let go of her

“I said I’ll tell you the truth…I won’t lie”

Hesitantly Suzy let go of her grip and wait for her explanation

JiEun look at the hospital entrance behind her and looking back at Suzy

“Myungsoo…he’s been in this hospital because of his disease for this past 5 years. Before that, he is a regular patient here”

Suzy squinted her eyes

“What kind of disease he had?”

“AIDS..”

Suzy’s eyes become wider. She was in shock when she hear his disease. She knew that Myungsoo had a weak body since child, but she never expected that it was AIDS.

jiEun watched at Suzy who seems to lost focus. She continued her words

“Doctor already did what they can do to cure him, but it failed. They said we have to prepare because he could leave anytime”

JiEun couldn’t hold on her tears any longer. Meanwhile Suzy just stand there like a fool. She still couldn’t believe what JiEun said to her.

“That’s why I made this quest, finding Suzy, I hope he could meet you before its too late”

“How he got it?”

“He once told me that their family had an accident when he was 5 that killed his parents. He gets blood transfusion, but unfortunately the hospital where he’s treated didn’t had the proper examination of the transfusion blood. The blood that he used is infected by HIV.”

They look at each other again. With tremble voice, Suzy ask JiEun to take her to Myungsoo. JiEun nods and lead her way inside the hospital. She greet the nurses and the doctor there. It seems that JiEun was a regular visitor there. After walk for a while, passing the hospital’s garden, they came to the pavilliun where they take care of Myungsoo. And now they were in front of his room. They already changes their clothes to visit him.JiEun look at her watch

“Usually he’s still in his room at this hour”

She knocked the door gently but there’s no answer from inside. She open the door slowly and go inside. She turn around and look at Suzy that standing still outside. Suzy try to compose her feeling. She know she couldn’t show sad face to Myungsoo. She inhale a big breath before following JiEun.

And finally she saw him. He’s still sleeping. There’s infus bottle beside his bed. Suzy look closely at him. He looks so skinny and pale. So pale that with the sunrays into him, he looks like transparent. He looks so skinny, his cheekbone start to protruded. But away from that, Suzy could recognize him as Myungsoo she knew in elementary school. Somehow his face didn’t change a bit. It just become the mature version of little Myungsoo. Just when she thinks about it, suddenly he awake. He’s smiling when he see JiEun

“heyJiEun…what makes you come so early?”

JiEun smiled and didn’t answer his question. She took a step backward so he could see Suzy. The sun rays block Myungsoo’s gaze. He squinted his eyes try to figure who is the person that came with JiEun. Suzy took a step forward so he could see her clearer. She smile at him

“Hi Myungsoo…long time no see”

Myungsoo’s eyes get wider once he recognize the figure in front of him. He wake up from his bed in a hurry and scream a bit because of sudden pain that attack him.

“Aghh”

Suzy hurriedly approach him and help him to find better position. She put a pillow behind his back. She didn’t realize that the distance between them become near because of it. She realizes it when their eyes met. Myungsoo smiled at her just like the first time he met her.

Suzy couldn’t turn her eyes off of Myungsoo. She missed him. After all these years, she finally meet him again. She return his smile. She feels her heart start to beat faster. Yes, after all these years, her heart still remember him. JiEun watch the scene and smile. Her duty is finished for now. She took  a few step forward and leave Myungsoo’s room. She didn’t want to interrupt them. She walks outside and start searching the people she knows in this hospital.

Myungsoo studied Suzy’s face

“You didn’t change a bit Suji….still pretty as always and with that lovely smile of yours”

Suzy blushed

“Really? You didn’t change a bit too Myungsoo”

Myungsoo shake his head

“What do you mean? Look at me…I’m sorry you must see me like this”

Suzy hold Myungsoo’s hand gently

“No…you look great…really”

Myungsoo look at their touched hand and smiled

“Is this real? Or is it just a dream? Because if it’s a dream, I won’t wake up”

Suddenly he pinched Suzy’s cheek with his other free hand

“Ouch..what was that for?”

Suzy rub her cheek and muttered. Myungsoo laughed

“I’m sorry Suji…your cheek is so tempting to pinched. But now I believe that this is reality. JiEun really brought you here”

Myungsoo’sword remind her of JiEun. She looked behind but there’s no one there

“Ah…where’s JiEun?”’ she looked back at Myungsoo with confused expression

Myungsoo hold her hand gently

“It’sallright, she must’ve been looking for her inspiration”

“Inspiration?Ah..hey, where are you going?”

Myungsoo open the blanket that cover him up and prepare to get off of his bed. He grinned when he saw her worried expression.

“Come on…I’m going to show you something”

Suzy help him get off and his infuse bottle pole and she let Myungsoo guide her to their destination.

They walk for a little while until they arrived in a room. Looks like the room was meant to be a gallery for patient there. Here and there Suzy look at so many artwork. There’s painting, statue, crochet, etc. Suzy admired these artwork. It’s been a long time since she stop to watch and like paintings, well since Myungsoo left that is. He smiled when he look at her, busy admiring the artwork.

“Do you still love to draw Suji?”

Suzy turn her gaze at Myungsoo

“Not really”, she lied

“Ahh…”, there’s disappointment in Myungsoo’s face and she saw it, so she hurriedly explain

“It’s because I didn’t find someone who has the same hobby with me…like we used to be”

He smiled in relieved when he hear her explanation. He grab her hand again and take her to the other section of the gallery. There she saw many beautiful paintings. Most of the paintings are nature paintings. But when she look at it closely, she realizes that almost in every painting there’s a girl in it. All of it had the same figure. Suzy’s heart skipped a beat.

“Do you like it?”

“Yes…it’s beautiful…is it yours?”

Myungsoo nods

“I made all of these paintings while thinking of you Suji…”

Suzy turn to face him. Their eyes met

“…..i love you Suji…since the first time we meet”

Suzy’s heart beat in joy. He loved her…after all these years she finally found the answer. Suzy couldn’t find the perfect word to say so she just look at him. Myungsoo walks to a canvas covered with cloth. It’s a blank canvas, there’s no painting in there yet. Next to that canvas is a drawing that Suzy recognize as her drawing for him. The girl with a red string.

“Do you remember it? You give me this drawing before. You couldn’t tell how happy I was when I found it in my bag”

He moved closely to her

“I was going to see you there and tell you my answer. But that day suddenly I got sick.”

He touched her face

“Grandpa hurriedlytake me to the hospital and I had my first intensive care for months. When I was healthy enough, I try to find you. I ask all of our former classmates where can I found you…but no one knows”

He put a strand of her hair behind her ear

“I promise myself that I will find you…eventhough this disease started to attacked me. I take all the treatment they offer, because I want to be healthy…I want to meet you”

Tears start flowing from Suzy eyes. She never knew. She thinks that only her suffered because the separation between them. She hug him tightly

“Myungsoo..”

Myungsoo cried when Suzy hug him. It’s real. His dream girl is now in his arm. They hugged each other for a moment before Myungsoo released her. He pointed the blank canvas

“That canvas…I promise myself when I find you..i’ll finished what your drawing should be. It’s going to be us in that paintings”

Suzy wipe her tears but its useless…it keeps flowing. She hold his hand and squeeze it gently.

“it will be the best paintings I ever saw”

Myungsoo smiled at her. He wants to say something but suddenly he fall and fainted. Suzy try to grab him as fast as she can so he didn’t bump into the hard floor.

“MYUNGSOOO….!”

The nurse that stay around the room hear her scream. They help her to take Myungsoo back to his room. Doctor Kang who responsible for Myungsoo’s ill come and check him. When he finished his examination, he get out from his room and meet Suzy and JiEunwhose now with her. He smiled weakly to the both of them.

“The interval of the attack is going short and shorter. I’m afraid that his time is coming near”

Suzy closed her face with both of her hand. This is too cruel, she just met him and now he’s going to leave her again?

Doctor Kang look at Suzy.

“You must be Suji right? Myungsoo told me a lot about you. How you’ve become his reason to live. I’m so glad that you’ve finally meet…even in this kind of situation”

Suzy bit her lips and try to stop her tears. She forced a smile in front of him.

When he leave, JiEun look at Suzy

“You…you didn’t bring any clothes with you right? Are you planning to go now?”

Suzy look at her angrily

“You!!! Why didn’t you tell me before about this?? Why?!!!”

JiEun bowed her head

“I’m sorry…I know I’m wrong”

Suzy scoffed at her. She brushed her hair behind. There’s silence between them for a while before Suzy speaks

“I’ll stay here..”

“Really?? Then…you could stay in my apartment. It’s just 10 minutes from here”

Suzy nods in agreement. They get inside Myungsoo’s room again after they get permission. They talked for a while before the nurse came and tell them that the visiting hour is over. Myungsoo looks so sad when he saw Suzy gone but he started to smile again when she tell him that she’ll come again tomorrow.

On their way to JiEun’sapartement, Suzy ask her about what Myungsoo told her before

“He said that you’re looking for inspiration…what’s the meaning of it?”

JiEun smiled

“AhhMyungsoo…he really need to tell you everything didn’t he?”

She saw Suzy puzzled expression and continue her words

“Like you already know…I’m a writer Suzy. Sometimes I get my inspiration to write when I’m alone in my apartment. But sometimes I got the inspirations from a different places. Like the hospital…”

“I first met Myungsoo when I got a car accident 4 years ago and I had to stayed in this hospital because of it. I feel upset at that time because I had deadline to catch. I walk around the hospital garden to make myself feeling better. And there I meet him. He’s painting a patient couple. They look so happy when he give them the paintings. I look at his artwork and I feel interested because in most of it there’s always a girl figure..that’s when he told me about you”

“He always told me how he wants to meet you and his effort to find you. I got interested with his story…and with him”

Suzy raised her eyebrow hearing what JiEun said, she hurriedly smiled to Suzy

“It was over now..at that time I really like him and want to make him forget about you. But it failed, he really couldn’t stop thinking of you. I think he’s a fool because he fall in love too deep with a girl that he only knew for a few month. But I also jealous because I want to feel a love like that also..”

“And his grandpa? Why I didn’t see him in the hospital?”

JiEun sighed

“His grandfather died two years ago in an airplane crash. Luckily he left all his wealth to Myungsoo so he could continue his medication”

Suzy drown in her own thought. She never knew that Myungsoo’s way of life would be like this. She admired him because he didn’t look suffer. He still optimistic that he will live.

“Because he wants to meet you Suzy…”, her mind tell her

When they arrived at JiEun’s place, she gave Suzy a clothes for her to change.

“I think our proportion is same…just feel free to wear anything you like”

Suzy nods and take the clothes to the bathroom. After finishing her bath, she took of her phone. There’s 20 missed call and 10 voice mail, also numerous text message. She opened it one by one, although she know who the sender is. It’s from her mother and most of it from Seunghyun.

She dial Seunghyun’s number, it never finished the first ring because he straightly answered her call.

“Hello? Where are you? Are you allright? I just called your mother and she said that you weren’t home. You said youre going straight home. Is something happen?”

Suzy feel calm once she heard Seunghyun’s voice. She decided to tell the truth to him. Once she finished her story, she expected a reaction from him, but he keep silence for a while. Seunghyun knows it, he already feel that Suzy’s lack of showing her love is because she had some trauma in her past. But when he hear it straight from her, he couldn’t help feeling jealous, angry, and dissapoinment. But he cover it up. This is not the best time to argue.

“So…how long you’ll be staying there?”

Suzy sighed

“I don’t know”

“But you’re going back are you? You’re not planning to stay forever are you?”

“...”

“You promised me that you’ll be back okay? Or I’ll come there to pick you up”

“I promised…”

“Do you need me there? I could ask Hongki to replace me for a while”

Suzy shake her head

“No…it’s not necessary…I’ll be just fine here”

The last thing on Suzy’s mind is Seunghyun came to Gwangju. Myungsoo seems didn’t know about him and Suzy wants to keep it that way.

“I’ll hang up now…goodnight Seunghyun”

“Goodnight Suzy”

Seunghyun walks to his apartment balcony. His gaze look a far from there. He really want to ask her if she still loved Myungsoo until now? But he’s afraid. He’s afraid if Suzy will say yes, what will happened to him? He love Suzy…very much…but he couldn’t force her to love him too. And if Suzy still had that feeling for Myungsoo and he die, how could he compete with people who didn’t exist anymore?

“Suzy…you promised me that you’ll be back….i’m holding onto that promise now”

The next morning, Suzy and JiEun visiting Myungsoo again. As they promised before, Myungsoo take Suzy to his gallery. He took his painting tools out and ask her if she want to help him finish the paintings. Suzy smile when she approach him and took the brush he’s giving to her.

“I didn’t paint for a long time now Myungsoo…don’t laugh at me okay?”

Myungsoo chuckled

“Don’t worry…from my experience, I know that you’re a fast learner”

So, they spent most of their time in the gallery. When Suzy feel that Myungsoo is exhausted, she suggested them to stop paintings and walk around the hospital garden.

“But it’s not finished yet”, Myungsoo pout

“I know…but we can finished it tomorrow right? Let’s get some fresh air”

Myungsoo sighed and give up

“Ok…I also want to hear the story about your life”

Suzy smiled

“Okay…okay…but don’t get bored by listening it”

She takeMyungsoo’s wheel chair and help him sit there.

“This wheelchair makes me really like a sick person”

“Don’t complain…Doctor Kang said that you’re just to stubborn to hear his advice”

“Doctor Kang only didn’t want to see me walking and holding your hands”

Suzy laughed

“Really? I’ll ask him later”

And then they both laughed

They walk to the hospital garden and Suzy sit on the bench available there. They enjoyed the view and having a conversation. Suddenly Myungsoo take something from his pocket, an ipod. He give one of the earphone to her. Suzy put it in her left ear. Then suddenly a familiar music come to her sense. Suzy look at Myungsoo and smiled

“This is?”

Myungsoo smiled

“You remember it? This is the anime song we used to like. I got it from nurse Kwon. He’s a big fan on this anime too”

Suzy laughed

“Wow…I haven’t hear this song again since ages”

Then they humming the song together. That’s how they spent that day. When its time for Suzy to go back to JiEun’s place, Myungsoo hold her.

“Can you just stay here tonight? I had a nightmare yesterday….please…”

Suzy becomes confused. She asked doctor Kang for permission. Luckily he let her stay at Myungsoo’s room.

Myungsoo smiled widely when he hear it. So, Suzy stay in his room that night. She ask some extra pillow and blanket from the janitor. She pushed the sofa in his room to become an emergency bed.

Myungsoo look at his bed and sighed

“You could sleep here Suji..”

Suzy smiled

“Nah…it’s allright here..i’m afraid I’ll kick you out off bed if I sleep there”

Suzy help Myungsoo with his pillow and blanket. He didn’t say a word. He just watch her intensely. He record all of her detail in his memory. He wants to keep her forever in his memory.

Suzy clap her hand when she finished it. She turn off the light and tell him goodnight.

“Goodnight Myungsoo…”

“Goodnight Suji..”

For a moment, they both fall asleep. But suddenly Myungsoo had a nightmare. He’s dreaming that he is in a dark room without any window or door. He run and called if there’s anyone there but no one answered him. When he squinted his eyes, he saw a bright light in the end of the room. He saw Suzy there. He try to called her but she didn’t listen. In fact she’s smiling to someone. Myungsoo try to look to whom Suzy is smiling. She smiled to a man. He couldn’t see his face but clearly he smiled at her too. They both holding hands and walk away.Myungsoo try to reach for them. He run and yell to stop Suzy, but she didn’t hear him. He try to run faster but suddenly the darkness captured him. The bright light vanished and bring Suzy and the mysterious man with it too.

Panting, Myungsoo wakes up from his sleep. Cold sweat run all over his body. He cover up his face and gratefull that it was just a dream. But tonight, the dream felt so real not like he used to had. He looked at Suzy that still sleeping in the couch. How peaceful her sleeping face is. Myungsoo try to reach a glass of water near his bed but his hand shaking. The glass fell off, luckily it was made of plastic. But the sound of it makes Suzy awake.

“Uhhh?Myungsoo? What happened? What are you doing?”

Suzy rub her eyes to see clearer. She reach for the switch to turn on the lamp but Myungsoo forbid her.

“No…don’t turn on the lamp…I’m sorry I wake you up..i..i drop the glass”

Suzy sit in the couch, try to adapt with the minimum light. Once she get to see clearer, she take the glass from the floor and take the new one. She fill it with water and hand it to Myungsoo. He received it and thanking her. Once he finished it, Suzy take it and put it back to his table. Suzy look at Myungsoo. He seems weird tonight. She took a chair and put it beside his bed. She hold his hand.

“Are you okay Myungsoo? Did you get another nightmare?”

Myungsoo couldn’t take it anymore. He pull Suzy in his arm and hug her tightly. Suzy was surprised because of his sudden action. She try to comfort him by rubbing his back.

“It’s okay Myungsoo…it’s just a nightmare”

“But it feels real…I was alone in a dark room. There’s no one there…suddenly I see you..i try to called you but you didn’t hear me..you left me with another man…you left me alone in that room”, Myungsoo cried when he tell her nightmare to her.

Suzy becomes tense a little when she hear it.

“It’s just a dream Myungsoo…I’m here aren’t i? I’m here with you”

Myungsoo let go off Suzy from his embrace. They now stare at each other. He touched her face gently.

“I’m a greedy person Suji….i once tell God that He could take my life anytime He want as long as He let me see you again”

“Myungsoo…”

“But now after I see you…how beautiful you are…your smile that I missed so much…I wished I never said that word. I want to live forever…I want to see you forever”

“Myungsoo…”

He becomes hysteric and cry harder

“This isn’t fair Suji….He made me to meet you, He separated us with this ing disease, and now He reunited us together, but He didn’t give time to be with you”

Suzy hugged him tightly. He’s crying in her embrace

“I don’t want to die Suji…I’m afraid to die….i want to live with you. I want to marry you and have kids from you. I want to go to theme park with you…go to the movies with you. Walking around the town together with you…Walking in the beach…I want to do everything with you….”

“I don’t want to die…”

Suzy couldn’t hold her tears anymore. Both of them crying hard. She wipe her own tears before she face him and wipe his tears, but their tears can’t stop flowing. She smiled at him

“Everything’s going to be okay Myungsoo…I will be here at your side. You haven’t finished our paintings yet…you promise me that you’ll finished it”

Myungsoo put his hand above her hand and pulled her closer. He lean forward and kissed her. Suzy was shocked at first but she closed her eyes and let him kissed her. Their first kiss was wet because of the tears that couldn’t stop flowing, but his lips feel warm. He let go off her and whispered to her

“I love you Suji…”

Suzy nods

“I love you too Myungsoo…”

Suzy told Myungsoo to go to sleep again but he refuse. When Suzy promise that she’ll sleep beside him, then he agree. So they sleep together in his bed. He holdher hand and put it in his chest all night long. That way the two of them fall asleep.

The next morning, after his routine examination and medication, Myungsoo rushed in to go the gallery. He told Suzy that he will finished the paintings today. Eventhough she forbid him to continue his work when she saw him vomit or start to exhausted, he refused to listen. He’s concentrating to the paintings, whatever Suzy says didn’t let him stop painting. He rest for a while when he feel tired, but he continue it again afterward. And finally he finished the painting.

Suzy amazed of how the paintings looks like. It was a painting of a scene in a beach at afternoon. Two figures, a man and a woman, holding hand while they’re walking on the beach. The sunset becomes their background. There’s a red string that twist around their hand. This paintings is his answer to Suzy’s previous drawing. It’s them…together at their imaginary beach. Myungsoo put his name in the corner of the paintings and he told Suzy to put her name too. She did what he said. Myungsoo was satisfied with the result. He look at her

“Do you like it?”

“I love it Myungsoo”

He smiled at her and asking if she want to walk in the garden with him.

“Are you okay Myungsoo? It’s getting cold outside…it’s better if we just stay in your room”

Myungsoo shake his head

“No…I don’t want to stay in the room. At least not today”

“But…”

“Please Suji…I really want to go outside today…with you”

Suzy give up

“Okay…at least let me take some blanket to cover you up”

She left him for a while before return with two blanket in her hand. Myungsoo didn’t protest when she help him putting the blanket around him. After that, Suzy take him to the garden, not many people there because of the cold air. They took a few walk before he asked her to stop in front of a big tree.

“What’s up Myungsoo?”

“Do you see that tree in front of us Suji?”

Suzy look at the tree..she still didn’t know where this conversation going

“Yes, I see it”

“Don’t you think that tree looks the same like tree in our school?”

Suzy’s grip becomes tense in his wheelchair. Myungsoo continue his word without waiting for her reply

“The biggest regret in my life is when I’m not able to see you there…you must’ve been waiting for me for so long Suji..”

“Myungsoo…”

“I wish I could turn back time and meet you there”

Suzy try to hold her tears, she bent down to face him and smile

“Do you want to see me again there Myungsoo?”

Myungsoo’s eyes become wider because of happiness

“Can i?”

Suzy nods

“Mmm…”

She took Myungsoo not too far from that tree. She arrange his blanket so he could move his wheelchair freely without freezing. After finishing it, she runs to the tree and wait. They’ll reenact what happened 13 years ago. The moment that change their life. Suzy act like what she did 13 years ago. She looked at her watch and look around every five seconds. She lean against the tree and wait…waiting for Myungsoo to come and give her answer.

Myungsoo smile when he saw Suzy acting in that tree. It his turn now.He put all of his strength to turn the wheel. When he came to the tree, he called her

“Suji!!!”

Suzy turn around and she smiled widely when she saw Myungsoo’s coming. She was blushing when she greet him back

“Myungsoo…”

They look at each other for a while before Myungsooinisiate it first

“I was surprised when I saw this letter and drawing in my bag”, Myungsoo waved imaginary letter and drawing in front of her. She blushed hard

“When I read it, I feel angry”

Suzy becomes surprised

“Eh? Why?”

Myungsoo smiled

“I’m angry to myself, why you’re the one who say it first. It should be me….as a guy, I’m offended”

Suzy smiled nervously. She bit her lips

“So…that’s mean?”

“that means…I like you Kim Suji…from the first time we met. You’re my first best friend and the only person that I like. I like you more than anything in this world…”

Myungsoo smiled widely. Suzy run and hugged him

“I like you Kim Myungsoo…you’re the best thing that happened in my life”

They looked at each other and feel that the burden that tied them to the past is finally off. Myungsoo look at her straight in her eyes

“I love you Suji…always”

Suzy touch his face gently

“I love you too Myungsoo”

They smiled at each other. Myungsoo ask Suzy to help him sit under the tree. They now sit together side by side under the tree. Myungsoo take the ipod from his pocket and give one side of the earphone to her. She took it and they listened to their song.

They stayed there for a while. When Suzy feels that the air is getting colder, she tellMyungsoo that they should go back in his room now. But he didn’t answer. She called him a few times but still no answer from him. Suzy felt something happened so she take a peek on him. He looks like sleeping. He smiled in his sleep. His expression is so peaceful. Suzy shake his shoulder gently but there’s no reaction from him.  Hesitantly shesearch for his vital sign, but there’s none. He’s not breathing again. He’s gone. He’s leaving with that smile in his face.

Tears start rolling down on her cheek. She should be glad. He finally free from his pain. There’s no more painful treatment and medication. Suzy touch his face again. He really looks like he’s sleeping. He even smile in his sleep. There will be no more nightmares for him. She smiled at him.

“Stupid Myungsoo…I told you that you shouldn’t fall asleep outside…it’s cold in here”

Carefully she fix his blanket and wrap it tighter in his body. She looked around them and try to memorize everything. That afternoon will be the afternoon that she’ll never forget for the rest of her life.

---

So....this is the second chapter of Finding Suzy...it's really long huh? I hope it worth to read >.