A few hours ago...

“Thank you ahjumma! Please buy more from us!” Miran bows to the owner of the little coffee house on the countryside. Simon who comes along imitates her action. It’s the last delivery of the day, so Miran is glad that everything is settled. They walk back to the car together.

“Let’s have lunch together before we get back.” Simon suggests as he turns on the engine and puts the car in gear.

“Um, actually, I’m running late. I need to get back to the shop a.s.a.p.”

Miran briefly glances at him. Surprisingly, he looks disappointed. Miran feels bad because she is purposely avoiding from spending more time with him. It’s impossible for her to hang out normally with him knowing that he still has feelings for her. At least not for the time being. She might seem happy and carefree on the outside, but she is actually rather sensitive.

“Are you avoiding me?” He asks.

“No, it’s just a busy day at the shop.” She answers quickly.

“You’re acting the same way you did when I confessed to you a year ago.” He states with a bitter smile on his thin lips.

“I... I’m sorry...”

“It’s okay. Let’s just talk, alright?” Simon slows down the car and stops at the side of the road. He turns sideways to look at her. “I’m really sorry that I made you uncomfortable... Again.”

Miran shakes her head. She doesn’t want him to feel bad or anything. “It’s not your fault...” Miran pauses and then braves herself to look at him in the eyes. “It’s been over a year. Do you still like me that way?”

Simon shrugs. “Don’t think too much about it. We’ve been friends for years. You can pretend like nothing happens.”

How could I?

“Simon, you should stop... I... I don’t want to see you hurt.”

“I don’t want to see you hurt either. You still like Intae hyung too right? It’s not fair if you keep liking him but I can’t do the same to you.”

Miran turns quiet. Both of them are exactly in the same boat. Miran understands well the pain of being in a one-sided love and she didn’t want Simon to hurt that way. Simon is important to her, but Intae is different. Intae is... her life. He is the reason she is still around and doing well today.

“Intae oppa is important to me. You know that too, right? He is my saviour. He was there at the darkest point in my life.”

“I wish you would stop. It doesn’t matter if you couldn’t return my feeling, just stop hoping that one day he would...” Simon gives up reasoning. Words that are trapped in his mouth are all harsh truths that could cause the bleeding of the heart; he doesn’t have the heart to word it for her. It’s frustrating to watch her fall deeper into a bottomless pit. He couldn’t reach her. He could only watch.

“Just stop. Because I know.” Simon finishes and looks away, staring at the road ahead.

“I know too. But I want to be there for him until he no longer needs me. Just close your eyes and pretend like you see nothing. Forget about me.” Miran too stares ahead. She could feel him slightly turning to look at her. She could imagine the hurt look he has on his face but she doesn’t have the courage to see it.

She knows. She might end up crippled and crushed at the end, and she is ready for it. She wants to go crazy. She wants to love Intae to her heart’s content, and let her heart break and totally crushed so one day she will not regret her decision. Her only wish is that nobody else is involved because this is totally her choice. She wants Siomon to move on and finds a great girl and totally ignores her. Is she being selfish or selfless? She couldn’t tell what’s right or wrong anymore. All these thoughts crammed forcefully into her skull that it hurts. Her emotions rapidly build up against her wishes, causing her chest to feel stuffy. Miran looks away when her tears begin to dim her eyes. From the tail of her eyes, she could see Simon resting his head on the steering wheel, sighing in frustration.

-

A couple of visitors enter the shop. Jisu quickly gets on his feet to receive their orders. With experienced efficiency, he quickly prepares the drinks. He squats behind the counter again as soon as the customers take their drinks and sit at one of the tables.

“And so? What’s going to happen to you guys?” Jisu asks Miran who is blowing her nose into a napkin.

“He says it’s okay. He tells me to forget whatever he said and we should stay friends. Is that even possible? How can I act normal knowing that he is quietly looking out for me? How do I know if he is not hurt with my decisions?”

“Don’t think too much into it!” Jisu said firmly and pats Miran’s head.

“Will everything be okay?”

“Hey, if you keep worrying about Simon like that, he will look like a sissy. If he says he’s fine, then he’ll be. It’s not like it’s the end of the world. You just do whatever you have to, okay?”

“Thanks, Jisu. You’re the best.” Miran smiles despite her stained face.

Jisu heaves a deep sigh, his head flops towards the floor. “Why am I giving you relationship advice? It’s not like I’m any better at it.”

Miran laughs lightly. “Don’t worry. I’m sure you’ll find a nice girl someday.”