The thin gaunt figure in the loose white dress turns around in slow motion, her eyes trailing the empty space before her frantically, looking.

opens in a desperate scream, a name that rolls out of her tongue naturally like breathing. “Jingyo?”

But no sparkling golden angel appears to cradle her in his arms. She's all alone. Darkness spreads and overwhelms her as she kneels on the floor, the echo of breaking items reverberating throughout her mind, not giving her a break as she clutches her head in her arms.

Things break all the time.

***

Words speak of what you can't say. Words speak of emotion and sincerity. But words also seal fate nothing else can change. 

Her hands tightened around the shot-glass as the golden liquid slopped around messily, some of the liquid spilling over the edge and landing on the window-sill, dripping down slowly on the floor.

And still, she made no move to clean up the small spillage- not because she didn’t care, but simply because she didn’t know.

Didn’t know, wouldn’t know…
Couldn’t see.

The moonlight illuminates the medical report on the table. 

Diagonised with severe generic cataract. 

***

Do you think someone actually genuinely cares for you out there?

In her mind eye- she could see it: The red lipstick was smeared- all over his lips as they kiss. She watches as his hand sneaks its way to her slim waist and pulls her closer as they break off the kiss and then stay contented looking at each other.

Watching this makes close up and her heart constrict in pain. She needed to leave and stop knowing.

Ignorance is bliss.

Her hands uselessly stuck out from her as she tries so hard to feel her way around, visualizing the floor plan in her brain as she spins 180 degrees to locate the stairs- escape is just in her grasp. Taking a quiet breath, she took a hesitating step towards the left, and hits the already unstable table.

The table wobbles sickeningly, and then she heard it. The crash. She visualizes the beautiful glass vase hitting the floor and shattering into millions of unsalvageable pieces and it did.

Everything quieted down and she stood woodenly in the mass of shattered glass, feeling like a Queen greeting her familiar subjects. The shards that lay pathetically at her feet- how many has she already broken? Why was she so useless?

She knows the couple has pulled away and she feels his comforting touch on her hand as he guides her out-again- of the mess she keeps creating. He guides her to her room, and the girl he was kissing stays behind to clear up, but she could feel the imprint of her perfume on him. 

As he leaves after tucking her in and planting a kiss on her forehead, tears make the way down her cheeks again. She could hear him and her talking in whispers that fade off gradually as they walk away, hand in hand.

She was losing him, all over again, each time he walks away with her.

I’m sorry doesn’t ing cut it.  Pity is overrated and unwelcome. Just, for once, hold me in your arms and tell me how much you love me… please?

Glass Breaks.

***

You got some guts to love, do you have courage to accept pain? No? I'd tell you that love is pain. 

A plate of treats, held in her hand gingerly as she makes her way up the steps, the other hand grasping the banister tightly. Jiyong had come back from running an errand and he had gotten her her favorite pastries, a treat she always succumbed to.

She's torturing herself with this sort of pain, a bitter crush that swallows her when she sees them together.

Her body presses against the door, pressing her ear against the door to see if its safe to enter. Her hand poised to knock but whispers reach her ears, intangible stirrings that wrap around her.

"Jiyong ah... What are you going to do about Chaerin?" 

"I don't know..." He trails off. No definite answer. 

"I'm sorry to burden you with her honey..."  I thought we had everything. 

The plate crashes on the floor, the pastries splayed out on the floor.  The dish shatters-breaks- into million of pieces as she covered in shock.

Burden. "Chaerin? Is that you?" 

"Everything's fine, that was just a track list intro." She forced a brisk laugh as she waved away his concern- the track list intro of her shattered heart.  The salty hot droplets fall again, hitting the floor in soundless drips. Falling to her knees, her hand reached out to pick up the broken pieces blindly as her fingers close around the first sharp shard, cutting into her skin as she continues to clean, forcing her sobs to quieten down. 

The blood from her cuts smear onto the pastries, the pain stinging her, red droplets that mirror her pain- intense, hot red. But she doesn't mind it- she doesn't feel it. 

Some people are just addicted to a certain type of pain. You need pain to erase pain. 

Dishes Break. 

***

Do you know your limits? How much you can actually do before your heart shatters beyond help, how much you can actually take... before you break?  

"Oppa, where are we going?" Early in the morning he had told her that he wanted to bring her out and despite of everything- the little scars on her fingers, the memories that burn at her mockingly- hope blooms. 

"I'm not telling you," he laughs, putting the gear into reverse as he eased the car out of the driveway, one hand on the steering wheel and the other entwined in hers. She slumps on the seat and brisk chats and laughter fills the whole journey, like how they were before she became blind. 

Before he with his girlfriend- took her in? 

The car slows to a halt as they reach their destination and she smiles in anticipation- but not for too long. The smell of anesthetic- the choleric feel of this area. The gust of cold air-con that numbs the senses- the hospital. 

"Why am I here? Answer me!" she pushed against his chest harshly, fists tightening. No amount of diagonis changes. 

"..." He says nothing, but she already knows. 

"I said I didn't want to do the surgery!" She shouts, screaming. She was scared. 

She remembers how her mother had died when she was born- on the operating table, and she remembers how her father underwent the surgery and then died too. 

She feels betrayed and lost. 

"Chaerin... You could try..." He trails off but she takes off, running towards where she thought was the door to escape. 

He followed her a minute too late- and he saw. But she didn't see the road and she didn't see the car speeding. She couldn't see the danger, couldn't see the end.

Impact. Pain.

Black. 

Can you keep the faith alive, because eventually we all pay the price. You only live once but if you live it right, it is enough. 

Cars Break. 

***

Hold fast to dreams, for if dreams die, life is a broken-winged bird that cannot fly. Hold on to dreams for when dreams go, life is a barren field, frozen with snow.

 She seems almost peaceful despite the blood that soaks through her bandages and stain the bed sheets. No-one knows if she was simply floating away or is she still dreaming as he holds her hand in panic as they rush her to the operating room. 

They were at their spot at the park, like always. A mat spread under them as they gaze at the stars, his head on her lap. Comfortable silence reigned as she plays with his hair. 

"Chaerin ah," and she felt him tense. She knew that there was another reason why he suddenly asked to meet up at their usual spot.  She knows him that well. 

"Deh?" 

"I'm going overseas tomorrow to further studies... and I won't be back for 4 years..." 

There was silence that greeted his statement and the fingers in his hair stilled. He sat up in concern, worry and regret etched in his face. "I already knew- Aunty already told me." Her voice cracked at the end, her hands laced together as she played with them. He could see the tears that were unable to be held back- and his heartbeat thumped in his ears as pulled her in for a hug. 

"Oppa, don't ever disappear and leave okay? Don't let go..." she whispers, and he knows she was talking about in her heart.

And then he promised. 

She is pushed into the operating room as their hands are pulled apart. 

Don't go. Don't leave like you always do. 

The operating theater's door swings shut mockingly, as he screams out a prayer, asking for her to be returned to him- but no promises were made.

Promises break. 

Is love enough to pull through it all? Even when you really want to, is it enough for you to survive in the cruel reality? 

*** 

At the end of the day, pain is multiplied for one has to remind oneself that reality and delusion will never co-exist. 

The flash of light reflected her pale, knocked-out body, before flickering and then, shuts off. A single white cloth is laid regretfully on her slim build, masking her blond hair and delicately shaped face as she is wheeled out of the room. 

"I'm sorry, it was our best effort." The doctor walks away as the guy's eyes widened in denial. 

It was gone before he could even reach his hand out to catch it. The text message he received a few days ago mocked him, and blatantly laughed. 

"Go chase your dreams, Jiyong Oppa... I want to... chase my dreams too." The message his ex-girlfriend sent over, earlier. 

He was dumped. By a text message, no less. 

But he wasn't sad at all. She was just... keeping her part of the bargain. 

"To two pathetic people who are together because they are too afraid their dream love," she says, raising her wine glass against his can of beer. He arched a brow at her, but can't help but agree. His heart was upstairs, with the sleeping girl that was so adorable, so fierce, and so gorgeous, and hers is with a guy who migrated away. 

"Oppa... We are just friends with benefits, but I'd let you go if you ever got the courage to ask Chaerin for her heart," she says suddenly, seriously. 

"Me too... If he comes back... go chase your dream." 

A ring, one he had been keeping for so long, falls to the floor.
An anguished scream as he lifts up the cloth- and slams his lips against hers, hands pressing against her chest repeatedly. 

Sometimes you forget the things you have because you thought it would always be there and you take them for granted. But when the only option you have is to leave them behind, you realize gone will forever remain gone… 

Hearts Break. 

Things break all the time. Glass breaks, dishes break, cars break, promises break, hearts break. And everything, shatters wrong. 

A/N: 

Happy Chinese New Year people~! I think this was quite fail so you might see another reworked version up when I'm not so rushed. Or maybe not. Depends on your comments because now I'm just brain-dead haha. XD

So... Subscribe and Comment, hope you enjoyed it. Even if you didn't, just say so. T_T I must be losing my touch in writing haha XP 

Love you- Zi Ning <3 

Off to celebrate CNY now~ :D