“What?!” Donghae screeches loudly and slams his hands down on the table, rattling the silver wares and causing their food to tremble from the impact.

Miroo sighs wearily. “Donghae, don’t be so loud. You know your father has terrible hearing and his ears are delicate enough as it is.”  

“My hearing is fine and my hair isn’t delicious,” her father grunts between bites of grilled pork ribs.

Donghae lets out an annoyed groan. “Are you guys even listening to me?! I don’t want an arrange marriage! Who even does that anymore?! Did we go back a thousand years without me knowing?”

“You should be happy, your grandfather manages to ensnare a good catch for you this time,” she says calmly. “In this day and age, a man of a good linage like that doesn’t come regularly.”   

“I don’t even know the guy!” Donghae protests, waving his hands madly and hovering over her.

“You have seen Prince Hyukjae on TV before and in the news and you even learn about him in school.”  

“That doesn’t mean I know him, mother,” Donghae retorts heatedly.  

Miroo narrows her eyes and glares at him. “Don’t back talk me, young man,” she snaps, “and sit back down!”  

Startles, he sits back down in his seat gingerly. “I’m sorry,” Donghae says, recoiling a little. “But, I don’t just get what you guys are thinking at all marrying me off to a stranger.”

“What is there to understand? We want you to have a happy, healthy, and secure life and Prince Hyukjae will give you all of that and more.”

“You don’t know that for sure though.” Donghae shakes his head in dismay.   

“That is why there’s a six months engagement period to hopefully get you two to work things out and fall in love,” she says, but if it were up to her they would be marry off in a month. However, there’s a lot of politic going into marrying a couple of nineteen years old kids and the Palace’s Public Relation Chief wants to ease the two of them into the idea of marriage and gets the public warm up to them to them first before they can get marry, which Miroo can’t argue with.  

“But haven’t you guys notice that’s we’re both guys!” he says, waving his hand in front of her as if she couldn’t see that fact.

Miroo picks up her tea and sips it before putting it back down. “Donghae,” she says, slowly and carefully, “didn’t you tell us you are gay when you were sixteen? Have that suddenly change without us knowing?”

Donghae flushes. “Well, no but I’m pretty sure the Prince isn’t gay though.”

“He’s biual by all accounts from the media,” Miroo recalls, like she was seriously going to marry her precious first born son to a person she know nothing about. Not even when he’s the Prince of Korea.  

“That doesn’t mean anything if Korea is not going to accept two men getting marry,” Donghae says pointedly.  

“Right now, people still think of Korea as country that is deeply rooted in tradition and archaic ways, but Korea is trying to establish itself a rejuvenated country that can stand atop of the world among countries like the US and Japan, so to show that had made progress they had passed the law allowing the gay marriage and the Royal Family set the precedent by letting their Crown Prince marry a man. This marriage would not only be important to us but to the Royal Family and Korea so it’s not a joking matter, Donghae."

Donghae lips part in stunned silent, finding no words to say respond back.

“I did my research,” Miroo explains, with a wave of her hand.

“W-what about the Crown Prince?” he asks once he found his voice again. “Did he agree to it too?”

“Yes, he was told two weeks ago before you.”

Donghae’s left eye twitches. “I’m not even going to ask why I was told last when goddamn Crown Prince was told weeks ago and when I’m supposed to be the other part of this union but, mother, you do realize that no matter how much you wanted a girl when you first got pregnant with me, I can’t grow a uterus and pop out a royal assbaby—”

“Mind your language that’s the Royal Family you are talking about,” she cuts in.

“—there’s no way I can continue the Royal’s bloodline and I’m pretty sure even with our technically today, you can’t impregnate a male,” he continues on.

“Donghae,” she starts but Donghae cuts her off.

“And even if you can, I don’t want to be pregnant! Ewe. All those birth videos we watched in senior high heath’s class turned me off of children for life.” He shudders.

“Donghae,” she rolls her eyes heavenwards, Donghae can be so dramatic sometimes, “If you actually pay attention to the current news, you would know that the Crown Prince has a sister and she will continue the bloodline. Her kid will be next heir to the throne.”  

“Oh,” he says, looking surprise and losing steam in his argument.

“Are you giving up now?” she asks quirking up her brow.

Desperate, Donghae abruptly turns to her husband. “Faaaaather,” Donghae whines, his lips protruding out in a pout seeking help from his other parent. Miroo rolls her eyes; Donghae has always been a daddy’s boy.

Her husband stopping eating for a second and gives Donghae his full attention. “I think he’s a good match for you,” her husband’s says, smiling brightly. .

“Really, you too?!” Donghae demands despairingly, betrayed by his own father. Even she raises an eyebrow at that but she’s not going to question it if it helps shut Donghae up and accept his fate already.

“So?” she asks, smirking. Knowing full well she got him now.

“Ugh, fine, fine. I’ll see how these six months will go. We’ll probably end up killing each other or something and you’ll come to regret this, but you got to answer this first.”

Miroo sighs; it’s never ending when it comes to Donghae. “What is it now?”

“How did this engagement came to bear fruit?” he asks.

She ponders if she should tell him, but there’s no point in keeping it a secret any longer. “It was your grandfather who’d arranged everything and the King agreed to it,” she says.  

“Hmm,” he muses, and then he lights up, “So how did grandfather trick the King? Did grandfather blackmail him or something, because there is no way the King would let a no-name commoner marry his first born son.”

“Don’t be silly, Donghae, your grandfather would never use such an underhanded method,” she sniffs delicately, and finishes with a, “It was a card game.”

“Ugh,” he clenches a fist full of his hair and scratches his head furiously, “I can’t believe my marriage was decided over a stupid card game.”

“Look at it this way, sweetie, at least your future husband is not some unscrupulous criminal.” Miroo’s father usually means well, but it doesn’t always work out and back when she was young, her father found her a skivvy man and she’d only managed side step marrying him, who may or may not be part of the Korea’s organized crime family, thanks to him being impaled by a pole. But, this time her father came through for them and found someone who could bring their family out of ruin.

“That’s not comforting, mother.” Donghae sulks and turns his attention to her other son. “Kyuhyun backs me up here a little here, you been silent long enough.”

Kyuhyun pauses in his eating and places his bowl of rice down and the chopsticks on top of it, probably been enjoying the one-man theatrical theater that Donghae had played out in their dining room. “Well I, for one, agree with Donghae since we’re not back in the time where our spouses are determined by our parents anymore,” he says, casting a glance at Donghae and then he smirks, “but didn’t you always say you wanted to be a princess, and now that you’re going to marry the Crown Prince, here’s your chance to be the Princess Donghae that you has always dream of.”

“I was four, you ,” Donghae hisses and tackles his brother to the floor and they end up rolling around on the floor, wrestling each other.

Miroo doesn’t bother getting up from her seat. “Donghae get off him and Kyuhyun don’t punch your brother!” she shouts at them and they proceed to ignore her and continues their wrestling match that quickly devolving into an all out fighticuffs.  

“I can feel my migraine starting up again,” Miroo says, palming her forehead and shakes her head tiredly, “that child will be the death of me. How will he survive being Prince Consort?”

“Donghae will be fine, dear,” her husband says, trying to console her and pats her shoulder comfortingly.   

“I’m not concern about Donghae,” she reluctantly admits, watching Donghae puts Kyuhyun in a headlock. “I’m more worry about the future of Korea with Donghae as the Prince Consort because who knows what kind of trouble he’ll stir up.” At the end of the day, Miroo wonders if this marriage is a good thing after all, since it is Donghae they’re talking about and she knows her son very well. She shudders at the thought of turning on the TV and finding her son’s pictures plaster all over the news with the headlines that range from offending visiting dignitaries to starting an international incident.

If there’s anyone who could accidently start global dispute it would be her son and she is immediately reminded of the time when he was in his first year of senior high, and how he hadn’t like his new school’s tightly regulated dress code and conduct. After, several months of strain relationship between the school and Donghae, it all came to a head stop when he arrived at school with hair dyed blond, earrings on his ears and nose (she was happy to found out later that they were fake), and tattoos (also fake) and ended up starting a student revolt. In the end, she and her husband were called in for a very awkward and tense conversation with the principal where Donghae was suspended for two weeks but the school’s system was change from then on.

“Don’t worry, we can trust Donghae,” her eternally optimistic husband says cheerfully, “he won’t fail us.”

She glances back at her pile of mess that are her sons, Donghae now has Kyuhyun in an arm lock and Kyuhyun looks like he’s about to expire from the pain. “I—I give, I give,” Kyuhyun chokes out between each gasp of air. “You win, just let me go please.”

Donghae abruptly lets go of Kyuhyun’s arm and while Kyuhyun, curls himself into a ball clutching his arm in pain, Donghae stands up over Kyuhyun. “Yea! Who’s the man?!” Donghae says, pounding his chest victoriously.  

“Korea is doom,” she mumbles hopelessly.

A/N: when my laptop was broken, I was getting reacquaintance with my manga and I start up rereading goong again and was like huh, didn't i plan a goong au and if this was eunhae it would lol hilarious but mostly b/c i got a secret love for prince(ss) donghae, okay?! *___* so, like if i was going to write a goong au it would go something like this, haha sorry for the lack of hyukjae but omg donghae's family is crazy & i try to go arrange marriage (ugh, favorite trope!!) that kinda belieavable but it's utter crack too so there ya go. i still have one more au (kimi wa petto/tramp like us) that i was working on when my laptop broke that will be posted soon-ish (don't hold me on this though lol).