It's the third day in a row that it rains. You don't really mind, though - at least not today.

There's something so... cliché about doing homework with your best friend on a rainy day, you thought to yourself as you headed over to Jessica's house this morning. Somehow it's the way it's supposed to be.

Plans to study have never really worked out the way you want them to, though. It didn't take long before Jessica sighed loudly and went to sit on her bed, back resting against a black wall. You always wondered why she chose to paint her room like that when she was so afraid of the dark. You don't dare to ask.

"Sunny-ah" she says. You can hear the annoyance in her voice, and knowing her, you look up from the small drawing you're doing in your book.

"Yeah?"

Jessica's face is... almost angry. You immediately jump to the conclusion that you've done something wrong, and your stomach muscles tense up without your permission.

You wait as Jessica just looks at you from her position on the bed, and the sound of the rain against the window becomes very clear.

"When I introduce you to Fany... don't fall in love with her."

You raise your eyebrow.

"What?"

"Promise me... that you're never going to fall in love with Tiffany."

You lean back, even though there's nothing there but thin air. You want to laugh out loud, to scoff, but even if you don't want to admit it, you're a little afraid of what might happen if you make Jessica upset enough.

It's still strange to you, though, how something so completely random and unlikely can upset someone this much.

"What makes you think I would fall in love with Tiffany?" You finally ask, trying to not sound too amused.

"Everybody does" Jessica replies, and you shift your position as you suddenly feel a bit uncomfortable. "Everybody falls in love with her."

"You think I'm easy."

"Don't change the subject."

The response came so fast and with such force that you don't really know what to do with it. You like to tease, and it's usually much more welcomed than right now.

You look back at Jessica's angry features and you wonder how she got to be this way.

"I used to have feelings for her, you know."

Yes, you remember that. You remember all about the first time Jessica cheated on her girlfriend and how terrified you were of what love can do to people. How it changed Jessica, and probably had the power to change anyone in your surroundings.

"I know."

It's a simple answer. And it's probably not what Jessica was expecting, you realize, but you can't really care. You're so uncomfortable now that you hope if you don't say anything, she will change the subject.

"Please, just tell me you won't fall in love with her."

You tilt your head and consider what the best thing to do is. Most of all you just want to grant her wish and leave this whole disturbingly threatening thing behind you, and yet somehow you still have a need to be honest.

"Is that why you don't want me to fall in love with her? Because you have feelings for her, and you would be jealous?"

You can barely believe you spoke those words because - your best friend isn't dangerous - and you've never hurt her - but you have images in your mind of what might happen if you did.

Jessica's face still doesn't change. The room remains silent for a little too long and you look back at your friend's face as innocently as you can. The rain still pounds on the thick glass.

"I don't know" she answers eventually, and suddenly you feel angry because hey, this is not fair, Jessica already has a girlfriend and now she's trying to keep you from finding love? You cringe at how cheesy you sound in your head, but it must be true, you tell yourself.

Another thought is created and pushes the rest out of your head: you're not going to love this girl, this Tiffany. Granted, you've never met her, but love to you is something that... so many people talk about and write songs about and make movies about and...

something that should stay in all those movies.

You just don't buy the concept of being completely dependent on somebody else and needing someone that much in your life.

You get up from the floor and you walk over to the bed. You carefully sit down beside your friend, on the grey sheets, the thought that maybe you crossed a line always present in the back of your mind.

"I'm not going to fall in love with her."

Jessica's features soften. She looks at you for a few seconds and swallows before nodding, and you put your hand on her knee as if to make sure she understands you. She smiles at you and once again you're terrified and you know why, because it's love you're talking about, love that in the end, ultimately destroys everything.

That's what you think when you look at Jessica. And you wonder how it's possible that this one person, this Tiffany, can be loved by everyone. You don't believe it, and even if it's true, it's just...

...frightening.

"She's a player. She will hurt you. She hurt me, and we hurt Yuri together. Please..."

You sigh as you think back at the time when your best friend asked you not to fall in love with her crush. You're a couple of months older, a thousand feelings richer and 90 times heavier from pain.

You should never give a promise that's not under your control, you know that, and maybe you did know that back then as well, but you aren't sure. It doesn't matter anyway, you think, and you start pacing around the tiny room because your legs can't seem to keep you still.

She's supposed to be here by now, and you know where she is. She's off with the other girl, Taeyeon, off with Taeyeon doing god knows what. You're sure she has a crush on this new girl, this Taeyeon, and you don't like it.

More importantly, you're not sure why you don't like it. You're not supposed to feel that way, it shouldn't have gone this far. It shouldn't have. You promised.

It's still cloudy and it feels to you as if it never even let up. Since you made that promise, everything has changed, all for the worse, and you have yet to admit to your betrayal. God, you can imagine your best friend's face where you are now, walking around this room without any lamps on, the grey sky and its clouds through the window your only source of light.

The door suddenly opens and Tiffany bursts through it, and you barely have time to react before she throws herself on you and presses your lips together as hard as she can. You wonder for a second if lips can bruise, but then she moans "Sunny..." against your lips and you can't believe you ever wasted your time on thinking about that.

You see the faces of people you don't know outside the brown/red door and you try to reach it with your feet, Tiffany still with her hands around your waist, pushing you together. She breathes heavily against your neck and soon you give up your attempts to gain some privacy, and you carefully start pushing her towards the bed.

Tiffany graciously and without effort kicks the door shut and you sigh. You wonder if you'll ever be as beautiful as she is or as perfect, as raw and as interesting.

As intelligent.

Which you're obviously not, since she's got you here in her arms and you have completely fallen under her spell.

You fall on to the bed, Tiffany somehow getting on top of you, and there's something in her eyes that you've never seen before.

Maybe it's love, you think.

"I'm sorry I'm late, I was..." Tiffany begins, and you actually hold your breath while seconds tick by.

"You were with Taeyeon."

It's the most painful way to release your breath you've ever experienced, but you couldn't stop the words from coming out.

Tiffany looks at you, steadying herself with her hands on either sides of your shoulders.

"I was, yeah."

She looks amazed, kind of like she didn't expect you to figure her out this soon. You ache and part of it is because she's so beautiful and she's right there with you, and she was about to give you all the attention you wanted, and you destroyed it by reminding her of someone she might like... more than you.

You desperately reach up and put your hands behind her head, pushing her down, wanting nothing but to be kissed by her. She obliges and your tongues finally meet, you feel like you want to melt and oh, it's not supposed to be like this.

You promised.

Tiffany moves and places kisses along your jawline, you can do nothing but whimper and you are so so so scared. You're so happy and so touched and so wanted and so jealous and so guilty and so hurt and so scared and all at the same time.

And you want her.

So that's what love is, you realize.

She kisses your earlobe and neck and you want to scream, you're not sure if it's from the pleasure or because you are so... ing... guilty.

You put your hands on her shoulders and you push her up until her wonderful lips leave your skin, and you look her in the eyes. She looks surprised again and you know she's taken you for granted. Soon, you think, she's gonna lose interest in you because you're not as easy as the rest of them.

"What is it?" she asks, and you didn't see it coming, but you break. Tears pour from the corner of your eyes and down into the pillow beneath you. She doesn't look as surprised as you thought she would, but you expect her to get off you any second and sit by the side of the bed with a disappointed expression on her face.

But she doesn't.

"I'm sorry" you mumble, but it only makes you feel more pathetic. You push down with your elbows and sit up, motioning for her to get off you. She does, but she doesn't get off the bed, and her expression isn't disappointed, it's... defeated.

You reach up to dry your tears and you're so scared that they stop flowing at once. You lean your back against the wall and suddenly you remember Jessica doing the same, right before she asked you to... to promise.

ing Jessica

Tiffany sits down in front of you and caresses your legs with gentle, slow . The simple touch makes you throw your head back and close your eyes, and you hate it. It feels so good and it's not supposed to be that way.

You don't know what to do.

"What is it?" Tiffany asks again, more carefully this time.

You shake your head. You really want to answer but there doesn't seem to be one. Or too many. In a moment of insanity you contemplate telling her you love her, and it's so ridiculous that you can't hold back a smile.

Tiffany smiles back at you.

"That's better" she says, squeezing your legs, and there's no doubt about it.

You love her.

So you kiss her and let her kiss you back until you can forget about everything else.

You've been kissing for so long that your lips are swollen and broken, and your eyes feel heavy.

But none of it can compare to how tired you are of feeling guilty, so you just don't. You'll save it for later.

Tiffany is there, and she's slowly caressing your hair and your cheek. She pulls back from you a little, like she does sometimes when she wants to talk to you. She makes little pauses every few minutes, and you like it. It proves to you that she's a human, and not the player Jessica made her out to be.

You've forgotten about Taeyeon. Jealousy still burns in your chest but Tiffany is there with you. Not with Taeyeon. And that should mean something.

She draws a deep breath and you smile.

"Did you know that Taeyeon likes you?" she says, and your smile drops in a fraction of a second.

"What?"

"Yeah, she likes you."

You raise an eyebrow.

"You mean... like, as in... like?"

Tiffany laughs.

"Yeah, like as in like."

You shudder. You've only met Taeyeon a couple of times, and you would never have suspected that she might have a crush on you. Ever.

You shudder again as you realize the irony of everything.

"Huh" you say.

It's a good answer.

"I think you should go for it."

Suddenly you feel like you don't have a heart. It's gone.

"What?" you ask, and your lips feel even number than before.

"Yeah" Tiffany continues casually, as if there was nothing strange about her words. Nothing strange or disturbing or heartbreaking. "You live close to each other and you would make such a sweet couple."

You try to not show how much you're hurting.

"Would we now" you say and your voice breaks.

"Yes." Tiffany doesn't notice it. "You would really like her if you spent some time with her."

Your eyes widen against your wish and you nod your head. There's so much you want to say, but it seems if you tried, all that would come out would be hurt.

"Did you... did you tell her that? That she should go for me?"

Tiffany's expression doesn't change and you can tell she's trying to think of a good answer.

"Maybe" she says finally, and you take it as a no. Everything is so confusing and it takes all your willpower not to show her just how much you're hurting. Just how many questions you want to ask.

"Does she know that I..." you try. "That I..."

"That you like me?" Tiffany asks with a confident, apologetic smile.

"...Yeah."

You wonder if you blush. Tiffany doesn't answer at once, and just looks at you through the darkness.

"I think she knows."

You nod, but you don't know how to take it.

She kisses you again.

You link arms with Tiffany as the two of you walk through the mall. She's talking about music videos and dancers and she's so funny, you can't stop laughing and your cheeks are hurting from smiling so much.

The day is the best one in such a long time because you're finally rid of that feeling of jealousy, and you admitted to yourself and to Jessica that you are... in love. And it is real.

You throw your head back with a big smile on your face, happily observing the way Tiffany's hair falls over shoulders and sticks to her black coat.

Everything has a meaning. Everything has a point. And everything is wonderful. You still have a chance, because Taeyeon is not...

"Taeyeon!" Tiffany exclaims and you freeze inside.

Taeyeon is standing there under the multicolored lights from all the shops, and she smiles at you. You smile back and almost don't notice how Tiffany discreetly untangles your arms. Your heart sinks.

Taeyeon looks at Tiffany and her smile drops a little, and you feel so incredibly misplaced. Tiffany looks at you for a second and her smile drops as well, and your heart sinks even more.

You forget to even say hello, and you sink into a thoughtful silence that doesn't seem to want to be broken.

Does any silence really want to be broken? you think, and you almost laugh, and suddenly you wonder which of the three of you knows the most.

You look at Tiffany and your heart beats faster, Tiffany is looking at Taeyeon, and Taeyeon has her eyes fixed upon you.

This is what Jessica warned you about.

Your phone vibrates for what you suspect is the 13 000th time today. You smile, because you know who it's from.

"You're so sweet, you know that?" reads the next beneath Taeyeon's shining name. Your smile grows larger and your heart flutters. For a second you forget how strange it is that you two are texting - that thought seem to come and go as it pleases.

"I don't. I wish you could tell me more about it."

You blush a little at your own reply, and you're glad no one can see you right now. You're glad Taeyeon can't see you.

"I'll tell you about it someday. You deserve to know it."

You're shocked for a second by how completely different she is compared to Tiffany, and your heart aches for a second when you think of her. You're not completely sure what has happened with you two - last time you saw each other was two weeks ago, and it had been... wonderful. You still didn't know what she wanted with you, but at the time, it didn't matter.

Suddenly you wonder if Tiffany knows that you're texting Taeyeon - and if she does, how she responds to it. Would she be jealous? Is she even capable of that feeling, considering how many people want her?

You summon the little courage you have, and ask Taeyeon if Tiffany knows. Your heart beats a little harder while you wait, and it hurts.

"She knows we're texting, but not... well, not more than that. And I don't think I'm going to tell her anything, either."

"Why not?" you write back, somehow a bit relieved.

A couple of minutes pass, but you're not very afraid. You have begun to trust Taeyeon without realizing it.

"Because she's hurt me in the past. And has she hurt you like I think she has, Sunny?"

You think about her question for a while. Has Tiffany hurt you? Maybe it's obvious, with the way she seems to be using your love and not wanting to give anything real in return.

You stare at the screen, and you want to ask how she was hurt by Tiffany. But it's none of your business. Not yet, anyway.

"Yes."

"You deserve better than that. We both deserve better than that."

Sighing, you sink down into the mattress of your bed. You're so happy someone can finally see that - what you deserve. Your heart flutters again, and it confuses you.

You know you have to choose between your love for someone you know isn't good for you, and the crush you have on someone you trust. Which consumes you the most?

You scream and throw the closest object within your reach, not caring whether it's something vulnerable or fragile, or something that really needs to hit a wall.

You see your own tears drop from your face as you spin around, banging your fists against the wall and praying to God your parents aren't home.

Your energy leaves you little by little and you fall down on your knees, hands and head aching with fury. You rest your forehead against your lap and you can't bring yourself to look up, look back at the screen in front of you.

Nobody calls for you downstairs, so you decide that nobody's home.

You scream again.

You knew love was cruel, you did know that. That's what you always thought. But you never knew love could turn out like this.

You finally look back up at the computer screen and it hurts just as bad as last time. The picture of Tiffany and Taeyeon kissing has been edited into black and white, with a single "perfection" written in purple in the bottom right corner.

You throw yourself at the computer and forcefully try to turn off the screen, and when your fingers tremble at the button, the monitor falls off the table and down to the floor. It breaks and turns black.

"!" you yell, because you know you're gonna have to make up an excuse for when your parents ask you what happened.

You kick the screen on the ground and pain spreads through your toes.

Everything comes crashing down at you again and you sink to the floor beside the broken screen. You betrayed Jessica's trust and you barely cared, and... the other two betrayed yours. You were so sure that even when Jessica didn't trust you anymore, at least you would have Taeyeon... or Tiffany.

But you're the odd one out. You're alone. You want to blame someone, you want to blame Jessica for not giving you a stronger warning, you want to blame Tiffany for using your love, you want to blame Taeyeon for making you believe that she liked you.

You sink down on the bed. You know exactly who to blame, more than the others.

You didn't listen to your friend's warning. You placed your trust and love onto someone who you, deep down, knew was going to hurt you. Who you know you didn't mean more to than any of the other girls she toyed with. You crushed on a complete stranger who told you she had feelings for you.

You had so many chances to turn back, and you never did. And now, the person you loved has settled for the person you crushed on. She has finally found someone to love.

And the problem you had just yesterday, to choose between two people's love, seems to have shrunk down and out of sight. You won't have to choose.

Jessica, please come back, turn back the time and give me a more intense warning you think. I'm such an idiot.

Love should stay in movies, songs and fairy tales. You never bought it one bit. And now you have proof.