Cast : Leeteuk and Zinger

She was going to step out from the house when she remembered that she had forgotten something. Remembering that she had forgotten her cell phone, she ran back to the main room to take her phone back. Right when she took it from the place, the phone started vibrating. She took a look at the caller ID and suddenly giggled. “Hello, oppa?” She was biting her bottom lip with much effort as she didn’t want to let the other one to think something bad about her.

“Ah, I see. I will come to see you in a few minutes, wait for me, okay?” Zinger replied back, ready to hang up the phone. She was going to pull the phone from her ear when the man said it directly to her and made her face softened, “I love you too, oppa.”

She was smiling all the way to the front door and ready to go out at the moment. She couldn’t remove her stupid smile since the beginning until all the way to his place. She was just that excited to meet him again and she somehow wishing he felt the same way she did. Zinger took a deep breathe as she tried to kick out the small and tiny uneasy feeling deep inside her heart. They were yelling to her that she had gone crazy by meeting her fiancé at the time.

She was a bit sick, let’s say so, but because he had called her after some times she finally decided to go though her stomach was growling in impolite manner. She sighed as she rubbed her stomach, telling it to calm down.

The sight of his apartment building is already near and she put her smile again on her face. She speeded up and parked messily though she knew she could do something better with it. She was going to step out from the car when her stomach once again felt funny. She inhaled more air as she tried to prevent herself from throwing up. “Please, please, not now.” She whispered panicky. Lucky for Zinger that she finally didn’t get attacked by the annoying feeling inside her stomach when she finished her wish.

She pressed her boyfriend’s number but got rejected which made her frowned. What in the world that could make her boyfriend rejected her phone? She sighed as she threw the phone back into her bag and stepped out from the elevator. She looked around before finally pressed the doorbell of the apartment. She waited like forever before finally the door opened by a grumbling man. Zinger blinked her eyes in innocence as she and the man both scanned each other. It was Leeteuk’s coughs and sniffs that finally made the two looked away.

“Kangin, meet with Jung Hana, my fiancée.” Leeteuk said as he once again coughed hard. “I can introduce myself to her later, why don’t you lay on your bed and listen to what I told you?!” Kangin started yelling on Leeteuk as he pushed Leeteuk into his room. This was one of examples that Zinger had to admit. She somehow felt uncomfortable when she was with him in his environmental. Everything seemed to be different.

If the difference wasn’t very sensible, Zinger could let it go. But the difference had much meaning in the real drawings. It wasn’t just as simply she could think, it was way more complicated. Sometimes Zinger would be wondering if it was just her feeling or some people would feel it when they were talking or gathering with older people. Older, the word haunted Zinger to the darkest side of her. Want it or not, she had to admit that the word had a powerful meaning in her and Leeteuk’s relationship. The word was just too powerful to be fought and sometimes she felt pressured too by it.

“Hey, Hana. Can I call you that?” Kangin’s baritone voice surprised her as she was still dreaming about what she should do at the moment. “Sure.” Zinger replied with a smile, a very tiny smile. “You look a bit different from what I have thought.” Kangin said bluntly, not very caring with her shocked face. “Yeah, let’s just be honest here. Leeteuk has always loved to see y but also smart women back then. But I’m questioning his look on you.” Right at the moment, what Zinger wanted to do was punching him on the face.

“So you’re saying that I’m not y and smart enough for him?” Zinger asked, there was fire in every word she was saying. “No, it’s not like that. You’re very young but also mature. For look, you’re mature already. For some reasons, you fit into my ideal type but not Jongsoo. So I’m just wondering why he chose you.” Kangin explained, his eyes were still gluing on her. She was about to answer it back when her stomach felt like it was turned upside down. She hurriedly ran to the bathroom and threw everything up from her stomach. Kangin was following her behind, he looked at her in sorry but also curious manner. “Are you okay?” He asked. Zinger only nodded to his question.

“Kangin! The hell you’re trying to do with me here!! Open the door, you !!!!” The yells from Leeteuk’s room distracted his attention on her who was starting to vomit again. Torn between the yells and Zinger, Kangin finally walked to the room and unlocked it. “Where’s Hana?” Was the first question he asked when he finally free himself from the room. “In the toilet.” Kangin replied. Leeteuk’s face softened for a moment before Kangin continued his sentence, “And vomiting very bad.” That was enough to send Leeteuk to Zinger’s place.

Leeteuk found her bowing and her face was so pale that Leeteuk started begging to her to go the hospital. She, however, started being stubborn with telling him that everything was fine and she only felt a little bad. “But, Hana, you really look pale. Please, please, I beg you okay? We have to go to the hospital.” Letup said and placed his hands on Zinger’s back. When Zinger was about to reply, she lost her conscious and almost fell to the floor if he didn’t catch her. “Hana!” He tried to call her but she had been unconscious. He brought her with a slight panic roaming in his mind. “What happened? Where are you going?” Kangin’s blabber questions shot him and he only shook his head in no meaning.

“If you’re going to bring her to the hospital then it means that you’re not going to drive.” The warning was working perfectly fine to Leeteuk as he nodded and let Kangin to drive them to the hospital. He had been forgetting to wear any mask to hide his face and his appearance was really easy to be known. But ignoring the lack of preparation he had, he ran into the hospital. Nurses soon gathering around him as they helped him to take Zinger from his grasp. He hurriedly managed the administration and soon waited until the doctor who helped Zinger back.

Zinger was uncomfortable with everything that attached to her body. And it was concluding to the infuse straw. She and Leeteuk listened to everything the doctor said and wanted it or not, she felt a bit of happiness approached her in the same time. She tried to glance on Leeteuk but his expressional face was really unreadable. When the doctor had gone with a smile still on his face, Leeteuk got up and faced her, his eyes were as cold as ice and made her wondering if she had done the worst thing ever in her life.

“Are you… okay?” Zinger carefully asked him to make him speak up. “Hana-ah, didn’t you use protection whenever we do that thing?” His voice was very cold for her and she didn’t know how it could happen. “I..I think I forgot to use one on the last time.” She replied as her hands started playing with the sheet silently. “You think you forgot?” He was almost screaming in pure frustration when he said it. “You don’t want to keep this baby, don’t you?!” Zinger finally shouted, the aching feeling inside her heart was so bad that she didn’t know if she could bear with it or not.

“No, Hana. It’s not about that.” Leeteuk said, almost whispering. He had lost his confidence and Zinger saw it. “So… What is it? Am I that priceless for you? Am I not the one for you?” Tears had wetted her face, she couldn’t understand why he suddenly changed into a panic person like he was going to be killed. “Am I too young for you? Is it because of that, Jongsoo? Is that because I’m too young for you, I’m not mature enough for you? Is that it?” Zinger’s voice was shaky as she tried to speak, her eyes had been blur from her tears.

“No, Hana, it’s not about your young age. It has nothing to do with that.” Letup mumbled, his eyes tried to avoid hers as she kept staring on him with a stern expression. “Please, please, Hana. Don’t look at me like that.” He murmured again pleadingly. The sadness in her heart was too much for her and it made her tears fell even more. She quickly darted her gaze off from him as she stared emptily on the space between him and her.

“Can you get out, Jongsoo?” She softly asked and hoped that it sounded polite and not the opposite. “W..What? I want to watch over you.” Leeteuk stubbornly said as he tried to reach for her hand. She looked at him with a dead expression and it did scare Leeteuk. “Please, I need some more times to think whatever bull you just said a moment ago.”

Sighed because he knew he couldn’t change her thought at the moment, he went out from the room. “I’m sorry.” He said in a low tone, low but enough to be heard by her. She just bowed, not responding to his pleading sorry.

***

She lay on her bed comfortably. The cold air brushed her and she could see that the sky was turning into a dark one as she had opened the window. She soon absorbed into the situation as her mind started to process what had happened to her after Leeteuk refused to think about their future. The truth was very hard to be accepted but judging by his decisions in the relationship for about two years, Zinger knew he was very slow in judging and deciding something when it came about her. Everything about her was too hard and heavy for him to handle by himself.

Zinger inhaled as much as she could as she closed her eyes and drifted to sleep. The knocks on her front door wakened her up from her nap. As she struggled to wake up, the person who was in front of the door seemed to not giving up and kept knocking on it. “Can’t he be patient?!” Zinger nagged as she dragged herself to the front door. She was a bit surprised when she saw Kangin in front of her. She could see that he was very angry and almost burst in front of her. Yes, she could see it. She tilted her head as she excused him to step into her apartment. “What are you doing here?” she asked confusedly.

“To talk with you.” He shortly replied, leaving a bigger question to be in her head. “About what?” She carefully asked. “About your baby.” And that was it. Zinger burst into anger as she pointed to his face and shouted, “Get out! Don’t you dare to step into my place ever again if you’re going to talk about that!”

“Calm down, Hana. I have to talk about it, please. So can you calm down and sit? We can talk it in calmer situation.” He said, ruffling his hair in pure frustration. Zinger, still glaring on him, sat carefully on her couch. She looked at him as if she was stabbing him with her look. “Look, I’m sorry because I come here in not so right time. I’m just worried on you and Leeteuk,” He started, his eyes were looking at her back without fear in it. “Why do you have to be worried on Jongsoo?” She asked back, not even loosening her threatening look on him.

“You know, Hana, you have hit him on his biggest worry.” He explained carefully, he knew it wouldn’t be easy. He really knew it. “Oh, so he also has some worries huh. And I help his worries to become true?” A glance of Kangin’s expression had told her that she was true. “I know there is something different about you. But I don’t know that you will be the one who will tie him down for a serious relationship.” He started again but slowly continued it with a murmur, “I should have seen it since the first time he told me about you.”

Zinger who heard this, lift her head up. Thousand of questions running in her head, she didn’t know where to start or even which one was important enough to be asked. At the end, she decided to use one of the deepest question but also the simply one, “What do you mean?” He sighed hard as he tried to loose his stress by leaning tiredly on the couch. “He is a player, Hana. Don’t you ever see him passing one day without another girl? Of course I’m talking about the past, when you haven’t been his.” The way he talked made Zinger to touch the dark wall, she didn’t know where it was heading but she could sense where it was going.

“I.. never really observe that thing.” She mumbled. Smiling to her, Kangin continued, his eyes were still on Zinger, “Have you ever heard about a leader of a boy group that involved into many love scandals that he finally has to be hid from the girls he used to date with?” And that was strong enough to make her remembering everything. “It was….him?” she said as she looked at Kangin in surprise. Nodding his head in clear disappointment, Kangin talked, “Yes, it was him.”

Zinger sat there, speechless. She didn’t know that he had that kind of past and she had never heard him talking about it. Hearing about it from someone else was totally worse it. She lost for words as she lay back on the couch. “I’m sorry. I don’t know he had never talked about it to you. But, Hana, I swear he had changed so much from the time when he used to be.” Kangin hurriedly spoke up when he saw that she left there, still speechless and remained silent. Zinger glanced on him as a sign for him to continue.

“He had changed into a different man. He had given his heart to you, Hana.” He said, hoping that she would look at him in a positive way like what women would do if they were happy because they knew they had been loved enough by their partner. But she was very stubborn as she didn’t say anything to him. Kangin decided to continue it tiredly, “He really needs you. I haven’t seen him this desperate after breaking up or to get kicked out from a girl’s life.” Kangin talked continuously and probably didn’t see that Zinger had had tears on her face.

When he had been aware of her tears, he became excited again. Called it stupid but he knew she had been affected by his words. Zinger didn’t know if she had to pity him or she had to laugh on him. Leeteuk was probably one of those unromantic people out there. He was very awkward whenever she came around him. And he always excused himself as shy because she was very young while he was very old already in age.

She only could laugh as once or twice about looking for his right man for a long time. She didn’t know that he did go through the process when she was with him. She didn’t know that he really loved her more than she did to him. It hurt to know that he was that kind of man and he was her man.

She sighed as she stood up. Kangin’s eyes had never left her figure. “Take me to him. Please, Kangin.” He didn’t need a long time to follow her request as he quickly rose up from the coach and dragged her to the park field.

***

She was in a rush. She was afraid that maybe Leeteuk would do something stupid. She was worried for him as Kangin had told her in the car whatever she needed to know about his situation at the time. She was very panic as she heard that he hadn’t eaten for two days and that his manager had come for a few times to check him if he had been well. His company even had given him their concern because they heard that his desperation almost came to the serious one.

Zinger burst into the apartment and soon realized that almost like ten people were staring on her. One of them rose up and ran to hug her, if she had never been hugged by him, she wouldn’t know that it was him. “Jongsoo,” She called for him as she hugged him back. He buried his face to her hair, trying to inhale her scent as much as he could. “You’re really coming.” He whispered. “You’re here.” He whispered again as Zinger rubbed his back warmly. She could sense that her heart had broken deep inside to see that he was really desperate because what she had done. “I’m sorry, Jongsoo. I’m sorry because I told you to go.” She whispered to him as his hug was becoming tighter on her.

“Why you always blame yourself?” He pulled himself from her as he stared on her innocently. With this distant, she could see that he had some wrinkles already to sign his age. “Can’t you understand? It was my fault because I told you to go without even offering you to discuss everything.” She said with her head hung low.

He chuckled as he brought her into his embrace again, “No, don’t blame everything on yourself. You’re the one I love and you will always be. I will really hate myself if you gone.” He whispered beside her ear as he slowly showered her with his kiss. “Yuck, hyung! We’re still here!” Zinger peeked through his shoulders and could see half of the SJ’s members were behind him. “You were so damn sad and now you’re bubbly again. Are we that useless?” Zinger couldn’t contain her laugh when she heard the magnae’s rant. “Shut up, Kyuhyun!” Leeteuk growled from his place. He pulled Zinger to his room and sat her on his bed.

“So…” He eyed her with the guilty feeling drawn obviously on his face. “So… what?” She back and he lost what he had prepared to say. She approached him with his eyes followed every single movement of her. When she had stopped walking and standing right in front of him, he pulled her closer until he could kiss her. The taste of his lips after some times drove her nuts. The sweetness and security she felt when he kissed him as he hugged her tight was something unbeatable. She loved the moment she could touch him and feeling him like this, she always loved the way he touched her body. Especially whenever he sad, the touch would be more intense than usual.

“I’m sorry, I really am.” He whispered when they had pulled apart from the tasty kiss. They still could taste each other’s lips on their lips. Zinger somehow knew how much he felt guilty at the moment just by the way he kissed her. He wasn’t the type of person who became a victim on a case. He was the troublemaker that made her lost her patience sometimes.

If it wasn’t for his beg that always held her, she maybe had lost from his sight. If it wasn’t her who tried to be mature maybe she had never met with him again, his ego and perspective was very different from her side. Sometimes in some related times, Leeteuk needed someone who could be more mature for him. And sometimes Zinger would go nuts whenever he asked her to come with him to a party. It wasn’t because she didn’t like party but the way people looked at her was very judgmental. Everybody knew their age different was quite big and thus, they started thinking that she was too childish to be on his side.

She tried hard to be someone who was opposite from what people had talked her to be but sometimes it was just hurt when she realized that Leeteuk sometimes treated her like a child too. Another kiss from him distracted her from her dreaming. “What are you thinking of?” He asked huskily as he kept holding her tight closer to him.

She only shook her head as if to sign him that she thought of nothing. “Baby, let’s get married.” He whispered. Zinger widening her eyes when she heard him says the words. “You gotta be kidding me.” She murmured. He narrowed his eyes when he heard her saying it. “Of course not.” He laughed as he brought her closer to him, if that was even possible. She started crying by listening to his serious confession and she really loved the way he tried to tell her how much he loved her. It wasn’t kind of confessions she wanted to but he was just beyond perfect to be ignored. And not to mention that he was the father of her baby.

“Let’s get married when the first snow starts falling. I will hold a surprise party for us.” He whispered again. Zinger laughed her heart out when she heard him saying that. “You’re delusional. Just set up the date.” She whispered.

***

It had been months since their wedding and now that Zinger had her belly swollen because her pregnancy had come to the fifth month. She was massaging her temple and watching the television when her husband’s face came out. She tried to focus on the news but losing her patience when all she could hear and watch from the television was his rumor with another girl. Her heart felt hurt when she remembered what Kangin once said to her long time ago. She sighed hard as she leaning back on the couch. Her mind was stormed with everything and when she started forgiving him, the news came even louder and even now with the words of “clue… holding hands outside… kissing on the park.” Kept echoing on the small room. Zinger covered her ears as tears somehow found their way to go out from her eyes. Yeah, no one had ever known about the wedding except for themselves and their friends. Too bad, she thought, that the secret thing made her stressed now.

And when she still had tears on her face, the front door was opened in a rush that she thought he might be back to get his things back. Her heart still aching by what she watched that she refused to look at him. He was trying to give her a surprise but with her refused to look at him, his mind went crazy.

“Hana? Jung Hana?” He met with silence as she kept looking on the television as if it was interesting thing. “Hana?” He called her once again as he approached her. He could see the tears and anger in her eyes once he came to face to face with her. “Are you alright?!” He quickly sat beside her as he wiped off the tears from her beautiful face. “Jongsoo….” Her voice was very weak and almost unheard. “Hem?” He responded worriedly.

“Can you…. Think of me, just once?” And she started sobbing as she hugged herself in a way to protect herself. He was shocked by the situation’s development and couldn’t say anything as she now turned to look like a helpless girl. Zinger didn’t know what to do nor say anymore as she tried to avert her gaze from the television to his face. Her heart beating even faster than she thought it could be, her skin heated up when she realized how handsome his face was. She realized with all of conscious thought that he was living there and loving her. Not exactly loving her but at least Zinger knew she had a piece of his heart.

He was looking at her with a confused expression as he tried to figure out what she was just saying. “Hana, what do you mean?” He asked worriedly as he brushed her face with a soft and loving touch. “I know I’m not your one. I know every risk I take when I’m with you. But Jongsoo, you really don’t love me, do you?” She asked in cracked voice as she had been tearing up with everything.

Leeteuk was going to answer her when the television once again aired his news with another unknown girl. His face became pale as he listened to every single word. Zinger watched how his face became pale in every second and she also watched how he burst into anger as he turned off the television rudely and slammed the remote to the carpet floor. “Listen, Jung Hana.” He spoke through his gritted teeth and it scared her a little bit. “I have never done like what they just said. I know my past had hurt you but I can swear to you that I have left the past behind and loving you only.”

Zinger’s hand unconsciously touched his face as she rubbed on it with lovingly gaze. “I can never be really angry to you.” She whispered. She knew she had to believe on him or there was no one she could believe on again. She knew he was trying his hard to tell her the truth and she was going to give him the chance. “I’m sorry.” He whispered as he brought her to his tight hug. She only chuckled bitterly as she tried to pull out. That was the biggest mistake because she brought into his embrace rudely once again as he kissed her hard and deliciously.

“I forgive you.” She whispered. “I won’t cheat. Because I already have you and our baby.” His hands traveled down to her belly and rubbed it softly and lovingly. “Please, live with me for a long time.” He said again before gulping her into his hug again and shut her up with his hungry kiss.