I know I shouldn’t cry but why do I keep crying?
My heart keeps sending me to you

“Oppa, please don’t leave!”

“I’m sorry Yoong, I have to go.”

“But then I don’t have a friend anymore,”

“You can play with Changmin,”

“Shirreo! I want to play with Kyuhyun oppa!”

“Yoona-ah, I have to go. But I promise, someday I will back to meet you and play with you again,”

“But if you leave, then who will accompany me when I’m sick?”

Kyuhyun now kneels down in front of Yoona who started to dropping her tears.

“Yoong, I promise someday I will cure your illness. And surely we will play together again,”

“Really?”

Kyuhyun nods his head.

“When will you back?”

“I have no idea,”

I come back to Seoul for the first time after 16 years I live in Newyork. I’m in fresh air here. I really miss Seoul and also miss her.

I wonder how is her condition now. Yoona who really weak because sirosis that she has suffered. How she lives for these 16 years? Still she become the cheerful Im Yoona, tough her illness can kill her everytime.

Now, I have back as doctor. And I will grant my promise to her. I will cure her illness.

It’s really hard for me actually to leave a girl who I really loved for such a long time. Though, at that time I was 9, but I can feel a true love for a 7 years old girl. A girl who always can make me smile everytime I’m scolded by my mom. A girl who always asked help from me to teach her how to ride a bike. A girl who always tries to become strong for holding her illness, but will always crying in my arms. I love her. I love Im Yoona.

I move fast my car towards my house before. Of course that home is not my house anymore. But beside that house you can found Yoona’s house and Changmin’s. I want to be there soon. I really miss them.

I stopped my car in front yellow coloured house, Yoona’s house. I don’t know why suddenly I feel nervous. I closed my eyes to calming down myself. Slowly, I walk towards that house.

Quiet

I press a bell in Yoona’s house. I wait for a moment. No answer. I press it again. But still no answer. When I’m about to press the bell again, suddenly someone patted my shoulder.

“Sorry sir, who are you looking for?”

I turned to look at him. And how surprised I am when I saw him.

“You . . Shim Changmin?” I said still try to recognize a young man in front of me.

He seems confused then stares at me intently.

“Yah! Cho Kyuhyun?” he said in disbelief.

“So it’s really you? Changmin? Whoaa,” I said as I hugged him.

“Yah, where were you in these years? Do you really that busy so you can’t contact me, huh?” he said after I release my arms.

“Wae? Do you miss me?” I .

“Aish!” he said as he hits my stomach playfully.

I’m chuckled. Is really great to see him again. Now he was grown to be a tall man, whereas before his height is just reach my shoulder.

“So, now you’re really back?” he said.

I nodded my head.

“Oh, so now I can call you Doctor Cho, huh?” Changmin said, as he smiling at me.

I’m just smiled.

“Okay then, let’s come. It’s really cold outside you know?” he said as he invites me to entering his house.

I sit on the bench at Changmin’s living room. This house is not really changed from 16 years ago. A moment later, Changmin comes with two cups of hot chocolate in his hands.

“Drink this, it can make you warmer.” he said to me.

I sip at my chocolate.

“So what are you doing while I’m gone?” I asked to him.

“Huh? Why you gave me such a fool question? Of course I did what should I do,”

“Yah! I’m trying to serious here.” I said as I glared to him.

He just chuckled at my reaction. His behaviour isn’t changed at all.

“Now I work as an architect in one of company,” he said.

“Whoa, jinjja?” I asked in disbelief.

He nods his head proudly.

“I never expect that a fool person like you can be an architect,” I said jokedly.

“YAH you!” he said as he throw the remote that he had hold before to me.

I laughed. Finally I can take a revenge on him.

“How was Yoona?” I asked to him who was busy watch on TV.

“Ne?” his eyes still on TV.

Seems like he’s not got my question before.

“How was Yoona?” I repeated.

He then turned to me. He stares at me deeply. It’s kind a scared me. Why all of sudden he being like this?

“Yoona . .”

“Yes, what about her? Why her house is so quiet?”

“Yoona . . now she is . .”

“Oppa, I’m home!”

Suddenly a shouted of girl startled us. We then turned our gaze to a girl who was just entering house.

I try to convince myself that what I’m looking now is not wrong. A pretty girl now is standing in front of me. Her face isn’t changed at all. She still beautiful as she was, oh no she now more beautiful than she was. Im Yoona.

“Oh, you’re home?” Changmin said to her.

Yoona nods her head slowly. Then she turned to look at me, seems confused. I smile sweetly at her, still mesmerized by her beauty.

“Oppa, who is he?”

My tears are not stopping
You can’t, can’t, can’t get farther away
Don’t run away, don’t turn away from me, please

“She’s amnesia,”

“MWO?” I said in disbelief.

“Three years ago, her liver surgical was succes, so now she has really recovered from her sirosis. But, two years later she was in a bus accident. And is causing her amnesia.”

I’m just quiet when I heard Changmin’s explanation. I can’t believe what he had said. Yoona amnesia? No, no way!

“Huh, what just you’ve said is nothing except lie!” I said stubbornly.

“Kyuhyun-ah, you can look by yourself, she even didn’t recognize you,”

“It’s because I had gone for 16 years. So it’s normal to her if she didn’t recognize me,” I blurted out a good reason.

“Kyu, there is no way for her to not recognize her favorite oppa. Even everynight when she sleeps, she always holds your photo in her arms.”

I feel my heart stops. Yoona, no, no way. I won’t believe this truth.

“Why she can recognize you?”

“I need almost one year to make her recognize me again.”

I bowed my head hopelessly. Why at this time, when I come back to her, she has to forget me? God it’s really unfair.

“Kyu, I know you love her. And one thing that you need to know is that she also loves you.”

I lifted my head up and found Changmin stares at me deeply.

“While you’re gone, Yoona had a hard time,”

He then takes a deep breath.

“Her father had passed away while she was in middle school. She must funds her life by herself. When she come back from school she tooks a part time job in my mom’s groceries. Everytime she feels her liver in pain, she will come to my house and then I will accompany her. Though she’s really sick and seems weak, she always tried her best to smile and laugh in front of me. But sometimes she will cry everytime she reminds about you. She always said how much she missed you.”

I can feel heat in my eyes. If only I can tell her, that I’m also missed her, a lot.

“She really knows how to take care herself. She never missed her check up in everyweek. She’s also a smart girl. After she graduated from her school, she then continues her study to the nurse academy. And at the same time while she accepted in that school, her doctor had found someone who will donor her a liver. How happy I was when I heard about that news, but not with her. She didn’t have enough money for paying her school and her surgery. I’m also can’t help her that much. She then decide to sold her house. And since that time, she was living in my house, my mom also had treated her as her own daughter.”

I was silent. I never expect if Yoona can had suffered a lot while I’m gone.

“Her surgery was succes. And I can imagine how happy I was at that time. So that with my mom. Since that, the three of us live as family. I remember, I was asked her a question, what causing her so cheerful though she was suffered a lot. And do you know what is her answer?”

I’m just shook my head.

“You,”

I still silent though my heart pounding loudly inside my chest when Changmin points at me.

“She had said, everytime she feels sad it reminds her everything about you. She remember you’d promise to her that someday you’ll come and cure her illness. She always holds your photo everynight she sleeps. She said she wants to be a nurse so if you’re come back as a doctor, you and her can work together. But unfortunately, she had an accident which make she’s amnesia.”

I feel my cheeks become wet.. How hard I holding back these tears, it keeps rolling down on my cheeks.