Krystal ran. She didn’t care that she was a mess; she didn’t care that she only had on a thin t-shirt, track pants and flip-flops; she didn’t care that she was stumbling in knee-high snow, numbed from the biting cold.

She had to see him – she had to see Kai.

Her movements slowed as her sense of touch seeped away, hungrily swallowed up by the bitter iciness that threatened to envelope her in its fatal embrace. But she refused to give in. Krystal forced her numb limbs to pump methodically, ignoring the anguished cries that resonated within her.

All because she had to meet him – she had to meet Kai.

The once familiar surroundings now looked foreign even as she set foot on familiar grounds. The last she’d been here was three months ago, when the quiet park had been drenched in the deceiving warm colours of fallen leaves.

Violently shivering and panting heavily, Krystal finally allowed her fatigued body to slow to a walk. Harsh icy flakes pelted, blurring her vision but it didn’t matter. He was there. Through the dense shower, she saw him sitting, his back to her, on their bench. It wasn’t exactly theirs but it was always empty, as it was the first time they met. It became a habit of theirs – sitting on that wooden bench side by side, enjoying their time in companionable silence.

“Kai,” she started, forgetting the chilling winds that swept past her frail frame. He was there, finally. Six months that passed without meeting him; six months with her in a sullen daze; six months of hopeful waiting – waiting for him to show up again.

She could finally be with Kai.

But the boy turned and Krystal couldn’t hold back the nearly inaudible gasp that escaped her now purple lips, frozen from the cold.

He wasn’t Kai.

“Krystal?” The boy got up, closing the distance between them. His perfect brows furrowed at the sight of the underdressed girl that stood before him. Without another word, he shrugged of the thick coat he had on, gently placing in on her narrow shoulders. “Take it.”

Krystal fought back the tears that brimmed at the corners of her eyes. She couldn’t cry, at least not in front of this stranger. “What do you want?” She managed to croak.

The lanky boy slipped an envelope out of the pocket of the coat she was wearing. “I’m Sehun, your messenger boy.” He cracked a small smile, handing her the envelope. “Kai said to pass this to you.”

Kai. Kai. Kai. Where was he?

She accepted the envelope with shaking hands. Like he read her mind, Sehun looked her straight in the eye, his gaze speaking of untold sadness, threatening to spill over. “Don’t wait for Kai. He’s not coming.” He patted her shoulder lightly. “Merry Christmas, Krystal.”

With that, he left her standing alone, staring at the envelope that boasted her name, scribbled in Kai’s messy font.

But even as Krystal tried to reassure herself that Kai just couldn’t make it today, she couldn’t shake off the sinking feeling as Sehun’s words echoed in her mind.

He’s not coming.

And the finality of it all seemed to stab her deeper than the piercing cold.

She ran blindly, ignoring the rain that soaked through her flimsy dress. Krystal refused to stop until she collapsed in a heap in the ankle-high grass, her tears mingling with the falling rain. How long she stayed there, she didn’t know. All that Krystal had floating in her mind was a single droning repetitive thought: Her life was shattered along with her heart.

The rain ceased all of a sudden. The punishing needles that seemed to pierce her with every hit stopped. Yet, the noisy patter of raindrops on the ground could still be heard. It was then Krystal realised, that someone was sheltering her from the raging storm.

“You’ll get your dress all muddy sitting there like that.” His voice drifted over the sounds of the insistent downpour, comfortingly low. “Here.”

Through her tears, Krystal saw his outstretched hand in front of her. Slowly, she raised hers to his and he gently tugged her to her feet, leading her over to the lonely wooden bench, its colour soaked to a dark shade of brown.

And they just sat there, with him holding the umbrella over the both of them, while she emptied herself of those painful memories.

She learnt his name later that day – Kai, the boy that taught her to love again.

Thank you for all the memories that we’ve shared. I hate to break you but I’m sorry,

I don’t love you anymore. But it will be the best this way for I won’t

have to hide my true feelings inside. I know you will hate me from now on,

and so I won’t ever appear in front of you again. I hope that you will

move on and find a better man who will stay by your side always. Because I

was a bad boyfriend, just dumping you like trash without so much as a goodbye. But

it’s time to face the truth. I will never be with you.

Kai                                                                                            

Krystal wrapped Sehun’s coat tighter around her thin frame, her hands tucked in its warm pockets as she trudged home to her small rented apartment. Kai had helped her find a pretty reasonable one at a good price, probably because the landlady thought that he was really handsome.

She sighed at the thought, her right hand crushing the letter that now sat in its original place in Sehun’s coat pocket.

I’m sorry, I don’t love you anymore.

Along the main street, Krystal could hear the cheerful voices of children and adults alike as they revelled in the season’s festivities. Colourful lights strung across streetlamps blinked merrily, seemingly mocking at her.

But it’s time to face the truth. I will never be with you.

Walking unseeingly, she bumped into someone. “I’m sorry,” she muttered, glancing up. A girl her age waved off her apology with a smile, continuing on her way hand in hand with her boyfriend. Krystal bit her lip, resisting the urge to cry as she tore her gaze away from them.

Don’t wait for Kai. He’s not coming.

She kept her head down, hurrying along the busy streets of Seoul. It took all the strength she had left to hold back those tears. Something red blocked her path. Raising her eyes, she found herself staring at an old man, dressed in a Santa Claus costume. With a smile, he handed her a candy cane which she reluctantly accepted. “Merry Christmas, my dear girl.”

She feigned a smile in return.

Merry Christmas indeed.

Feeling the presence of someone settling down on the wooden bench beside her, she opened her eyes. A pair of arms wrapped around her shoulders pulling her into him. “I’m sorry I’m late again.”

Smiling, Krystal leaned into him as he her hair, humming softly. It had become a routine of sorts – just sitting in each other’s presence in this quiet park, enjoying each other’s presence.

“Stal.”

Krystal felt a shiver of pleasure run through her. Hearing her name on his lips just made it sound incredibly beautiful.

“Hm?” She pulled away slightly to look at him, her eyes taking in his slightly tan features and deep eyes.

“If one day I have to leave and go somewhere far away, would you miss me?”

Krystal shook her head slightly and he frowned at her response. “I’ll tag along and stick to you like glue.” She giggled softly as his face eased into a smile. “I won’t miss you then.”

She noticed then as he pulled her into a hug but she thought nothing about it. He probably had something troubling him and asking him could always come later. She didn’t want to spoil their perfect moment with a worry that could have been just a trick on her eyes.

But even as she lay in his lap, breathing in the soothing scent of the flowers in full bloom, Krystal couldn’t ignore the nagging feeling that ate at her.

Because she saw for the first time, that his smile didn’t reach his eyes.

They had agreed to meet today after their busy schedules. She hadn’t seen him in months, ever since that day in the middle of summer.

Krystal was there on time as usual. She leaned back, eyes closed as she tipped her face to the skies with a smile, enjoying the tinge of warmth from the weak sunlight that set her surroundings in an earthly glow.

Seconds turned into minutes and minutes turned into hours.

Her panicked desperation grew with the passing time.

But he promised he would come – Kai promised. And Krystal trusted him just as she always did.

He didn’t come.

After twenty-three calls and forty-one text messages, Krystal gave in. The sun hung low over the horizon as she headed home, her heart heavy. Fallen leaves crunched beneath her canvas shoes, a sickening reminder of cruel endings.

If one day I have to leave and go somewhere far away, would you miss me?

Emptiness swirled in the deluding warm colours that decorated the autumn air.

Warmth. It calmed her frazzled nerves; it soothed her confused mind.

But that warmth, it couldn’t do anything to assuage that impossibly agonising pain that shredded her once shattered heart.

The envelope fluttered to the ground in front of the heater. Krystal picked it up.

I’m sorry, I don’t love you anymore.

The silence was suffocating. She let out a strangled cry, clutching the box-like heater for support.

Kai mended her heart once, but now, he wasn’t there to mend it again.

And that was when she let go. For the second time in her life, Krystal lay in a heap, anguished tears coursing down her pale cheeks.

Except this time, Kai wouldn’t be there to pick her back up.

Krystal cried. She cried until there were no more tears; she cried until her sobs became dry heaves; she cried until the emptiness engulfed her broken heart.

Then she saw it.

The distinct brown penmanship was clearly visible through the thin white envelope.

It wasn’t there before.

Krystal hesitated before slipping the letter out with trembling hands, the cream-coloured paper now warm from the heat. Taking a convulsive breath, she unfolded the letter, whose words she had unintentionally ingrained in her memory.

But now between the lines of black that had crushed her inside, a visible sloppy penmanship had formed, one that was distinctly his.

Dearest Krystal,

Thank you for all the memories that we’ve shared. I hate to break you but I’m sorry,

that I can’t always be by your side. It pains me so much to have to tell you that

I don’t love you anymore. But it will be the best this way for I won’t

have to leave you crying over me when I’m truly gone from the world. For you, I will

have to hide my true feelings inside. I know you will hate me from now on,

but hating is better than missing someone you love. My days are numbered,

and so I won’t ever appear in front of you again. I hope that you will

never forget me, never forget the times we’ve shared. It’s selfish to say I don’t want you to

move on and find a better man who will stay by your side always. Because I

love you too much. I wish God didn’t have to take me away so soon. You’d think I

was a bad boyfriend, just dumping you like trash without so much as a goodbye. But

I can’t bear to see the pain in your eyes if I were to tell you face to face:

it’s time to face the truth. I will never be with you.

Love you always,                                                                                        

Kai                                                                                        

Krystal choked back tears, willing her eyes to look at anything but those words – those words written in his messy handwriting.

No, he couldn’t just go like that. Kai couldn’t leave her like that. She had to find him. Now.

Krystal was about to get to her feet when her eyes caught a string of numbers, neatly written at the bottom right hand corner of the letter.

Definitely not Kai’s doing.

She brought the paper closer, squinting to make sense of the numbers that someone had written as Kai had in invisible ink.

14.01.1994-24.12.2012

She had to find him.

But it was too late.

Dearest Readers,

I've finally completed this one-shot pondering over it for a really long time. The idea came to me when I was musing over the possibility of not having the whole truth revealed at the right times. I hope you get the whole story since I had a bit of issues with my arrangements and writing.

Between the lines. I've used brown to show you what exactly Krystal saw (despite my love for monochrome when it comes to writing).

I hope you've enjoyed reading this because I sure did enjoy writing it :) Do comment and feedback because I'd love to read every single one of your comments! And of course, if you do believe that this fic is worth your support, please do subscribe and vote as well! I'll really appreciate it <3

- falliblefantasy