[Now playing : Memorize]

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I picture you again thousands of times
so I would recognize you
when just in case you come back to me.

Every time I do so, my heart tears into pieces
but I don’t stop to remember you.

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I saw her again in my dream last night. Only for a slight moment, she appear with a smile. Like she's trying to tell me that she's fine and i don't have to worry about her. Though her eyes looks empty. Not like the first time I ever saw her in my dream. Theres something hidden behind those eyes. I remember running towards her... but no matter how fast i run, i didn't seem to get closer. 

That night, I woke up feeling completely lost and empty. I have never felt like this before. Everything feel so wrong. I can't lie to myself anymore. I can't hide this pain, this longing. My hearts aches. It hurts bad..
I silently cried on my bed. I don't care if MinHwan could hear me. I don't care if they scold me for being such a stupid person. I just don't care anymore.  I want to know her.. I want to know her bad. It kills me to see how real she is in my dream, how she could makes me feel whole, makes me feel so happy. I hate it! I really hate it. I don't even realise that I have been crying like crazy, screaning and sobbing with frustration until i feel somebody pulling me closer and hug me tight. I don't even care to lift my head. I just keep on crying, letting go of all the hurtful burden in my heart. After a while, I lifted my head and i see all my Hyungs around me and it was MinHwan who hugs me.They're all staring at me.Their expressions are full with concern and care. I feel greatful to have them by my side.
I wiped off my tears with my sleeve.

"I knew it. There is something going on here. You seems so different and here you are now, crying your guts out. We are a family here. We share our happiness, our pain. Don't keep it all to yourself. Its okay to spill it out". JongHun starts.
I just look down and hugs both my knees. MinHwan is still hugging me. He then stands up and put a blanket arond me before putting back his arm on my shoulder. All the Hyungs are still staring at me.

"What's wrong?" JaeJin Hyung asked me. I just shook my head. HongKi Hyung nudge me.
"Yah.. seriously, what's wrong? You seems so depressed. I miss the crazy annoying SeungHyun!". He pouted. I still keep silent, my head is still between my knees.
"You want to go out drink with us?" The silence broke with MinHwan's question.
"No,Thanks" The words come out of my mouth , barely a whisper. A part of me wanted to be left alone, but a part of me wanted them to accompany me. I my hair and let out a sigh.



                                                  

"I seems like you don't want to share it. huh?" Jaejin Hyung look straight into my eyes. I sighed. It's hard to make a decision now. I don't want them to be burden with my silly problem.
"Arasso, we will be leaving now". All the Hyungs got up and walk straight towards the door.

'It's okay to spill it out'

JongHun Hyung's words filled my thought. That's it. I have to reduce my burden. I can't keep on living my days like this.

"She's killing me...". I murmur.
"Nugu?" JongHun Hyung stops and asks me.

Slowly, i told them everything. Everything from my dream, the girl across the railway, my feelings.. EVERYTHING. Just like JongHun Hyung said, I spilled it all out. Slowly, I start to feel better.
Apart from judging me and making fun of me, they just focus to what i'm saying except for HongKi Hyung who's already snoring with his head on JongHun's lap. I roll my eyes.

Aish, That Hyung is really something.

"So, you think that girl that appear in you dream is her?" MinHwan asked me.
"Nae.. i'm really confident. Her scent when she walk passed me.. That one particular scent and how fast my heart beats that time. I can really feel her presence. Everytime i dreamt of her, she feels so close yet, in reality she is so far. There's a huge distance between us".
They just glance at each other and smiled. I raised an eyebrow.
"What?"
With a huge grin across their face, the three of them reply together.
"Let's find her".