A moment of deafness shielded in the atmosphere. You felt cold, stiff yet numbness over taking your senses. If breaking down at the moment was an option, you would already have but in this public place you shouldn’t be showing your weakness. You already promised that to yourself.

“I thought, I already overcome this?”

“I thought, I already forgotten about him?”

“How could his presence affect me like this?”

“Byunghun, why did you come back?”

                If you could just voice out those inquiries in your head. But at this moment, you have no one beside you. No Chunji , not even Jihyun.

                You’re too preoccupied with your thoughts that you didn’t notice the train’s arrival in your stop, and came to a halt.         You tried to move your foot but your mind didn’t seem to cooperate as it stayed glued on the train’s floor, until a woman on its 40s nudged you to move as she couldn’t go through the exit.

“Excuse me, Miss you’re blocking the way” said the woman, quite irritated.

“I’m sorry” you muttered softly and bowed before slowly got out the train.

                 Aren’t train stations crowded and noisy at this hour?

                 But at your current state you didn’t seem to notice and hear any of it. You absent mindedly took your own way to your house. Fortunately, your foot didn’t betray you and safely arrived at your house. Finding the door unlocked, you immediately went inside.

“I’m home, mom” you called lowly, not even sure if she had heard you.

                 You walked pass through the living room and the kitchen on your way to the stair case until you heard your mother voice echoed.

“Sweetie, I’ve been calling you thrice already? Are you okay? You’re spacing out” your mother worriedly asked as she approached your spot in the steps and reached out to hold your pale face, checking if you’re sick.

“I’m alright mom” you assured but came out as a whisper.

“No, you’re not” your mother shook her head and touch your temple, “are you sick?”

“No, I’m not mom. I’m just, just tired. Yes, I’m just tired” you smiled, a fake smile hoping your mom would buy your alibi.

“Are you sure?” from the looked on her face, she wasn’t convinced of your words.

“Yes, don’t worry mom, I just need to rest for awhile and will be fine hmm?” you continued to smile and tried not to falter in front of her. She’s still not convince but let it pass this time and noted to herself to find out what was bothering you later, and knowing you, you would still persist to say you’re okay when you’re obviously not.

“Alright, I’ll be preparing the dinner and will call you later. Go to your room, have rest” your mother lightly patted your shoulder and shooed you upstairs.

“Sorry, I’ll be no help” you guiltily said.

“Nah, it’s just a small work to do. I can handle it” she assured and winked at you before leaving to the kitchen.

“You’re the best mom, love you!” you said, loud enough for her to hear from the kitchen.

“Love you more baby!” you heard her answer with a chuckle. Your lips suddenly crooked up in a small smile, she never failed to cheer you up in her simple ways.

                 As you reached your room, you felt the weakness on your limbs again and fell on the floor with a thud. You seemed to have used all your strength earlier while pretending to be fine in front of your mother that you couldn’t even bring yourself to the bed.

“Why is this happening to me?”

“Jin hyun ah, get hold of yourself!”

                You even tried tapping your face, aiming to wake yourself up from this mess. This shouldn’t be happening; you actually had already vowed not to be a weakling anymore. Not let anyone to break you once more. Not let a mere memory to destroy all your hard works to continue life with a better goals.

“Why?” was the only question hanging left in your mind.

                Minutes had passed; you stayed still on your spot behind the door, hugging your knees towards your body while staring blankly on the floor. Nothing was really working on your head right now.

                Just then, you heard a familiar beep sound in your left side. You tilted your head in the direction of the sound and saw your bag lying limply on the floor. You reached to search for your phone and took hold of it. You sweep the screen to unlocked it, and was greeted with your display picture. It was you, Ji yeon and Chunji whomwere smiling brightly. A notification on the top corner of your phone got your attention, revealing your boyfriend’s name, Chunji. As if a cue, you immediately open the message to read it.

From: Chunji :)

                Hi babe! I thought I had reminded you to text me once you reached home, hadn’t I? It’s passed 8, and I supposed you’ve already arrived. T_T I’m worried so please reply back if you have read this, okay?”

                It was like you were poked by a pin and all the nerves in your body started to function as you came back to reality and remembered him, your boyfriend, Lee Chan Hee. Your eyes widened as realization took over your senses.

                Almost immediately, you clicked on the reply button and punched your reply to him.

To: Chunji :)

                I’m so sorry I forgot. But yes, I had already reached home just minutes ago. So please don’t worry. I’m really sorry making you worried again.

Pressed the sent button.

                It didn’t even take a minute when your phone rings and saw Chunji’s caller ID on your screen. You didn’t know why you feel hesitant on answering his call but you fought from it. You should not ignore him, his Lee Chan Hee, and he is your boyfriend.

                 You pressed the answer and slowly brought up the phone on your ear readily apologizing for your act earlier but interrupted by him.

“Jin hyun ah, are you okay?” he asked on the other line, sounded really worried.

“Yes, I am. Why?” you lied. Did he perhaps?

“It’s just I could sense you’re not. Please don’t lie to me.” You heard him say with a concern voice.

“I’m fine, Chan hee. Don’t worry, hmm?” you tried to sound jolly, hoping he would stop asking how was your state.

You heard Chunji sighed on the phone, knowing him, he wasn’t convince at all and will surely asked you again by the time you meet tomorrow.

“Alright, I’m just glad to hear your voice, I can now stop worrying.” you heard him say with a deep sigh.

“You’re treating me like a kid again, Chan hee. I’m a grown up lady now, remember?” you chuckled. It was a true laugh, not a fake.

“Yeah, right.” You heard him chuckled in the other line as well. You sighed in relief and tried to make a conversation.

“What are you doing now?” you asked.

“I’m still working on my piece that’s needed a day after tomorrow.” He answered, with a calm voice.

“Was that the piece you need to perform?” you inquired.

“Yes,” he said.

“Awww, I know you can do it, because you’re Lee Chan hee, remember? Everything can be done by Lee Chan hee.” You cheerily motivated.

“Pssh, if you still don’t know Kim Jin Hyun. You’re the one inspiring me to do all of this.” He proudly informed.

“Nah, I know you can do better even without me. You’re a talented person and you can really make it big if you just want to” You smiled proudly, knowing of your potential and talented boyfriend.

“And if I make it big, I’ll make sure to bring you up with me.” Chunji said.

“Nah, music isn’t my thing. Don’t worry though because I’ll be always in your back to cheer for you.” you sweetly said.

“Liar, hmmp” you could imagine how he cutely pouted at that moment, and noted how adorable that would be which made you smile again, “I’ve heard you sing and play guitar before and you said music isn’t your thing?”

“What? Wait when?” you were shocked by his words; you didn’t know he actually had listened and saw you singing playing guitar. You never actually showed anyone about your ‘hobby’, it wouldn’t still even consider as a hobby when you actually rarely do it, at least for the past 2 years. Not even your boyfriend knew about it not until he had accidentally saw you singing and playing guitar in your room when he decided to gave you a surprise visit just a few months ago. He had heard you sing before in a KTV, when you and him together with Jiyeon were having fun on a group date. But you were just of course having fun and not actually singing but most likely making funny voices.

“It’s a secret. It’s a memory I would always treasurer.” He said, you could sense the smile of love he was wearing while saying those words.

“Yah! Why you di-” you were readily shooting back fire to his ear when he interrupted again,

“I’ll see you tomorrow babe!” with that, he hung up the phone.

“Yah! Wait! You!” you just heard a “tot” sound on the other line

You glared at the phone, thinking it was Chunji, “did you sneak up on my room without me knowing it?”

After awhile, you softened as you remembered your old hobby, “but really, music isn’t my thing anymore.  It’s just a part of the past I already erase in my memory.”

                The next day, you found yourself waking up in a rather early time than your usual sharp-6am morning call. It wasn’t the first the time but it definitely felt strange. You have this feeling inside that something will happen. Something you wouldn’t expect to happen.

“Nah,” you shook your head as you had finished neatly arranging your bed, “it just because I didn’t have a nice sleep. That’s all” and convincingly said to yourself.

                Shaking all your thoughts, you started your morning routine and readily packed your things for your schedule of the day. You as a neat freak, had well organized things on your bag. Your mom always makes sure to remind you not to forget your breakfast that gotten you to get used to it.

                 You were silently eating your breakfast while your mother was studying your face intently. You felt a strange stare towards you which made you to look up and saw your mom’s worried face.

“Mom?” you called.

“Are you really fine, Jin Hyun ah?” she reached out to touch your hand on the other side of the table and looked caringly through your eyes like those mother’s gaze who really cares and treasure their child, “as I looked at you now, you didn’t seem to be. So care to tell me sweetie?”

                 For the very first time in two years, you wanted to burst out crying as you heard your mother’s soothingly words. You were not fine and you were sure of that but you were trying to fight back your weakness, your real weakness, which is your past. The past you tried so hard to forget just to move on to your life. But with just split seconds of meeting him, the old memories, sad old memories in particular started to regain back and started to play again like it all happened yesterday.

                  But you fought back the tears that were threateningly falling from your eyes and looked back firmly towards your mother, “I, I might not be fine for now, but I can assure you I’ll try to overcome with it so don’t worry about me, Mom. It’s not because I don’t want to tell you, but I think it’s rather okay this way.”

                  It was your mom who shed tears as she listened to your answer, she was so proud of you and glad that you got to this point. You became stronger than she had expected before. For she also shared the same memories you were keeping 2 years ago. If it wasn’t because of you who always gave her strength, she might have already broken down before.

                  Your mother didn’t push through of asking you again about what’s bothering you but gave you caringly smile and raised up from her seat to pat your head, “I’m glad to see you like this, Jin Hyun ah. Just don’t forget to share your problems with someone if you could not handle it anymore, remember you had overcome with this.”

                After saying good byes, you exited the house and walked towards the nearest bus stop. Luckily, you just got in time when the bus arrived. You settled in one of the front row seats and hugged your bag, you remember you phone and check if you had a message. And yes, it was of course from your boyfriend.

From: Chunji :)

                Did you have a nice sleep?

                Have you eaten breakfast?

                It’s on my way to school and so are you, right? Kekeke

  I’ll be meeting you at the front gate, okay? ^^ See U! <3 U!

                A knowing small smile crooked up in your face as you read your boyfriend’s sweet message. This was his daily routine. Sending you text messages early morning, sweet talkings with full of love. Though it might be weird or cheesy for others, but for you, you’ve gotten used to it and eventually would miss it, if he forgot to send one.

Smiling, you typed your replies.

To: Chunji :)

                Yes, I’ve eaten breakfast.

                And yes, it’s on my way to school as well.

                See U! <3 U 2! ^^

                You obviously had ignored the first question as you couldn’t really tell a lie so bluntly. You sighed and hoped that Chunji wouldn’t notice it later.

On your way to the school, the strange feeling you had just earlier this morning was still there and started to feel nervous.

                 And all these anxiety was answered when you got to the university entrance.

                 There you saw a familiar figure standing near at the gate, it’s not the one you promised to meet in that place. It was someone you least expected to see which made you stopped in your track. You were few meters away from the gate and though it’s already a blurry memory of two years ago. You could still remember who it was.

And yes, it’s Lee Byung Hun.

                  Like as if the one he has been waiting for had called his attention, L.Joe looked over where your direction was and saw you standing agape at the middle of the pile of students crowding the side street. You were still astonished as you noticed that he was approaching you, no, he was actually running to you and the most surprising thing you didn’t expect him to do was the hug.

                  Your eyes widened as he hugged you as tightly as he could.

                  And what even took you in more surprise?

                 It was the hug, which you didn’t expect you had actually unintentionally missed.

                You stayed there unmoved, just him hugging you and whispering you some words but the only thing you had actually clearly heard was,

“I miss you so much”

                Your mind wanted to push him, but your heart doesn’t want to comply.

               You wanted to shout at him, but your mouth stayed dry.

                Your hearts tells you to hug him back but your mind tells you the opposite.

                But in the end, your heart just did what your mind forbids you to do.

                You hugged him back.

                Not knowing you were hurting someone looking behind your back.

It’s 2:27 AM in the morning. WTH! X_X

I just really feel bad for not updating this fic, (though I’m not really sure if there are that many readers who were waiting for an update) Kekeke. But, I know for sure Shasha was waiting for this, so this is for you and also to the other loyal readers of my CHANHEE fanfics. ;)

Hope you leave good feedbacks now, or else I won’t ever update again. Lol. Joke, I’m still going to continue this story but after my finals.

Sad to say, I’ll be on hiatus for a week or two (yeah that means, no online thingy, it includes my twitter life. Sigh) I need to concentrate because my future is at stick. XD

But I promise to try harder to finish this up when I get back. So those who want this story to be finished, guys I need motivations! So Comments comments! Okay? :)

Bye for now~^^

p.s : both chapters (not edited)