I was always the eccentric kid. The one who stood out, most of the time in a bad way. I was, and still am, freakishly tall. I also changed my hair color a lot, from black to blonde to blue to pink. I never really went with the crowd, until he made me.

I first saw him at the skatepark, standing around with a couple of other kids that I recognized. When I skated past them, his friend shoved me down to the ground and spat on me. 

"Look, it's the freak from school!"

They broke my skateboard, threw the pieces at me and ran off.

He stayed behind and helped me up. He was Bang Yongguk. We became kinda-sorta friends, the ones that see each other a school but don't say a word, the kind that only acknowledge each other outside of school. 

But outside of school, we hung out a lot. It was usually at out houses, never in public. We had tons of inside jokes that would never be uttered until we were in the safety of our homes. We had many great memories that would never be shared. I never questioned why he never came with me to the skatepark or other places, I just pretended not to notice. I actually started to believe myself.

I really thought that I looked up to him, respected him. Stupidly, I mistook it for love. I ruined it all that day. I confessed to him and he panicked. He beat me like his friends, saying that they were right, I really was a freak, and how he didn't hang out with gay freaks. He ran off just like they did. Unlike them, he looked back once. He turned around immediately, though.

On the ground, I whispered,"But I love you..."

I changed. I made myself numb to the outside world, I became like the others. I dyed my hair back to a normal color, I did everything like everyone else did. I didn't want to be that freak anymore, even if that meant I would have to give up myself, even though being like everyone else was boring and it made me unhappy. But why be happy when I could be normal?