Blam!

Haruki released the trigger, feeling the Glock reset itself, ready to fire another round. The headphones muffled the sound of the blast as she pulled the trigger again. Blam!

Taemin was dead. Upstairs, she knew Jiyong had pulled out a wine cooler from somewhere inside his desk and was passing it around the Forensics Department. She should be up there, celebrating with them. Heck, she had more reason than anyone else to celebrate- Taemin had been stalking her after all. She should be relieved that he was gone. She should be…happy.

His faint smile, his bruised face. The image crossed her mind and she squeezed her eyes shut as she viciously fired again.

It was wrong to be happy that he was dead. Nobody deserved to die, no matter what they’d done in life. He’d gotten a trial, and though the outcome had been dissatisfactory to many, it was fair. Justice had been served. It was wrong for someone to have taken matters into their own hands.

Do you really think that, Haruki?

Blam! She shifted the gun into her left hand, letting her aching right hand hang by her side for a few minutes. The pattern on the grip was imprinted in her palm.

Of course she thought that. Chief Park was right. She was a cop, and cops had to look at the evidence. She couldn’t let her emotions get in the way. Besides, her whole career was riding on this case. She had to prove to the chief that she could handle it.

There was no reason this case should be bothering her. He was another victim, there was another killer out there, it was just another day at work. This was just like any of the other cases that came through their department.

Except it wasn’t.

She pulled the trigger again, but the clip was empty. Detaching it and tossing it onto the spent pile beside her, she snatched up another one, loading it in without looking. She was dimly aware that one of the instructors had brought a group of rookies into the shooting range for practice, and many of them were staring at her. It didn’t matter. She was used to being stared at by now.

IU’s mother crying as she talked about her lost daughter. Luna’s façade of indifference to Sulli’s death.

Blam!

Krystal’s skeletal face, Hyorin’s terrified scream, the finger marks around Gyuri’s throat.

Blam!

The leather straps cutting into her wrists and Taemin’s cold fingers against her cheek. She could still see his smile and the light catching off the ice pick as he raised it above her head. Every night, every single night, she relived that moment and it was wrong, completely wrong to make anyone suffer what she had gone through. Including him.

“Noona.” His voice echoed in her head as she remembered that genuine smile lighting up her face as he reached his hand towards her. How her touch had chased the fear from his eyes as she took his hand. How he’d suddenly become the victim in her eyes, despite everything he’d done. How she knew at that moment, she had to be the one to get justice for him.

Pity, revulsion, relief, all had been overwhelmed by one emotion: guilt. She squeezed her eyes shut.

Blamblamblamblam!

She kept squeezing the trigger, even after the clip was empty again. With a sigh, she set down the Glock and removed her headphones.

“Haruki?”

“Siwon.” She greeted her partner with a polite nod, before picking up the spent clips and methodically placing everything back where it belonged.

He glanced at the Swiss cheese-like target, down at the Glock, and then at her hands. “You’re bleeding,” was the only thing he said as he reached into his pocket and pulled out a Band-Aid.

Haruki glanced down at her hands. The gun slide had cut into the skin between her thumb and index finger. Improper grip. A rookie mistake. “I guess I-”

Siwon offered her a smile as he unwrapped the Band-Aid and held it out to her. “It doesn’t matter. Shindong’s about to start the autopsy. Shall we?”

Autopsy. The word was even more final than “funeral.”

Shindong looked up as the door opened. He paused, blinking as if surprised to see Haruki, scalpel hovering over the body he’d been about to cut into.

“Hello, Shindong,” Haruki said softly. “It’s been a while.”

“You have periorbital edemas,” he replied.

Haruki frowned as Siwon raised his eyebrows. “Is that contagious?” he asked.

“Bags under the eyes,” the medical examiner explained, before glancing at Haruki again. “You haven’t been sleeping well.”

Her partner turned to her expectantly as Haruki shrugged and shifted her weight. “Well, you know…cases can be stressful.”

“We were just assigned this case today,” Siwon said gently.

“What have we got?” Haruki asked Shindong, pointedly ignoring the older detective’s unspoken question.

Shindong set the scalpel down and walked towards another table. He gently pulled the sheet down, exposing Taemin’s face and torso. “Asian male, early twenties,” Shindong said. “Cause of death: penetrating damage to the brain by a thin, sharp object, such as an icepick. Also known as a lobotomy. But you already know all that. Take a look here.”

He lifted one of Taemin’s arms and motioned for the detectives to move closer. “See the marks? He was tied down, presumably to the bed-”

"So, whoever did it was imitating his methods,” Haruki interrupted.

Shindong nodded. “Precisely. In such a case, I would expect to find chafing from the rope around the wrist, which would occur from a struggle. But as you see, there aren’t any.”

“He didn’t struggle as he was being attacked?” Siwon said.

The medical examiner shook his head. “It doesn’t appear that he did. It could be that he was bound too tightly to struggle.”

Haruki felt her chest clench as she surreptitiously tried to grab onto the edge of the table to support herself. She inhaled slowly, trying to calm her hammering heart. “Haruki?” asked Siwon, peering at her in concern. She could almost see the wheels turning in Shindong’s head as he attempted to diagnose her.

“Excuse me,” she said as evenly as she could. “I think my phone is buzzing.”

She calmly turned and walked out of the morgue, fighting down the urge to run. Every nerve in her body was on edge; she felt like everyone she passed was staring at her, planning to attack her. Why was the bathroom so far away? One step, two steps, three steps…she forced her trembling legs forward, subtly pressing an arm against her churning stomach. Keep it together, Haruki.

Her numb fingers shook so much she could barely wrap them around the handle of the bathroom door as she pulled it open and fled into a stall. Sinking to the ground, she buried her head in her lap, her breath coming in short gasps as she hugged her knees to her chest.

Her chest felt too tight and she couldn’t breathe. She squeezed her eyes shut to block out the images of Taemin lying on the body table. Had he always been that skinny?

“Bound too tightly to struggle…” Leather straps rubbing against her wrists.

"Penetrating damage to the brain by a thin, sharp object…” Searing pain in her cheek, sticky blood, smell of rust.

“Noona.” Someone screaming, possibly her.

“Noona.” She was going to die, she was going to die-

There was a rap on the door and she jolted, swallowing her gasp of surprise. “Is everything okay?”

“Uh…yeah. Sure,” Haruki replied quickly, scrambling to her feet. “I’m fine. Just…”

“Are you sure? Do you want me to call someone?”

“Yes. I’m fine.” Haruki opened the door and stepped out, blinking in surprise when she saw who it was.

Tiffany Hwang smiled when she saw the detective and moved forward to give her a hug, only to pull away when Haruki stiffened slightly. “Did something happen?”

“No, no, it’s just…” Haruki stepped around her toward the sink and began to wash her hands. “Just felt a little nauseous.” She glanced up into the mirror to see the lawyer- her former lawyer- standing behind her. “What are you doing here?”

“Meeting with my client,” Tiffany replied. “She’s testifying the day after. Eunhyuk and I wanted to coach her on questions that the defense might ask.”

Haruki nodded. “Good luck with the case.”

“Don’t need luck,” Tiffany replied with a smile. “We have a solid case.”

“That’s good to hear.” Haruki examined her face in the mirror, staring at the scar on her cheek. It was less pink, but just as prominent as it had been when the stitched were taken out. The doctor had said it would fade with time. She didn’t believe him.

She splashed water on her face and took a deep breath, gripping the sides of the sink. “You sure you’re alright?” Tiffany asked, offering her a paper towel.

Haruki nodded her thanks and wiped her face. “Yeah…must be something I ate.”

The lawyer nodded and squeezed her shoulder gently. “We should meet up sometime. Our last meeting was…”

“I’d rather not talk about that,” Haruki replied with a tight smile. “I’ll see you around, Tiffany.”

She stepped out of the bathroom, taking a moment to straighten her shoulders and inhale deeply, before heading back towards the morgue.

“You look terrible,” Jessica commented as Haruki entered the apartment.

“Don’t you always say that?” the detective asked.

“Even more terrible than usual,” Jessica explained.

“Thanks.”

“Seriously. What’s wrong?” The model opened the oven and pulled out a foil plate. The detective peered over at it, surprised that she didn’t smell smoke.

“You cooked something. I’m impressed,” Haruki said.

“One of the girls at work gave me the recipe,” Jessica replied. “Fashion week is coming up. I have to watch what I eat.”

“Jessica, you don’t need to diet,” Haruki retorted.

“I need to lose at least an inch off my hips,” Jessica snapped. “But don’t worry. I won’t go crazy counting calories, I promise. See?” She held up the plate.

“What is that?” asked Haruki.

“Kobacha squash,” Jessica replied, setting it on the table and opening a drawer to grab utensils.

“I don’t even know what that is.” Still, Haruki had to admit that it looked pretty good. Her stomach rumbled, reminding her that she hadn’t eaten anything since breakfast.

"You’re the one who should worry about her diet,” Jessica snapped. “You’ve been skipping meals again, haven’t you? What happened this time?”

Haruki sighed as she sank down at the table. “Taemin’s been murdered.”

Jessica’s mouth fell open as she dropped the chopsticks in her hand on the ground. “What? How?”

“Lobotomy,” Haruki replied.

“Who did it?” the model asked.

“That’s what I’m trying to figure out.”

 It took a moment for that to sink in, as Jessica’s face blanched. “You’re investigating? They let you back on the force?”

“I asked for the case,” Haruki replied.

“Are you crazy? Why? He tried to kill you!” Jessica snapped.

“There could be a copycat out there,” Haruki explained. “Since I had experience-”

“That’s exactly why you shouldn’t take the case!” Jessica retorted. “Haruki, what if this guy is trying to kill you, too?”

“All the more reason for me to stop him, right?” Haruki shot back.

“What about Donghae? Can’t he do it?”asked Jessica.

“Donghae already has a case. Siwon and I are taking this one. Stop worrying.” Haruki bent down to pick up the scattered chopsticks.

Her phone buzzed loudly, causing both girls to jump. Haruki pulled it out of her pocket and stood up, heading towards their bedroom. “Morita.”

“Are you a masochist?” hollered the voice on the other end.

“Hello, Donghae.”

She could practically hear his teeth grinding through the receiver. “Why did you take Taemin’s case, Haruki? Are you punishing yourself?”

“It’s none of your business,” Haruki snapped.

“You are my business,” Donghae retorted. “I mean-”

“I like seeing a case through to the end,” Haruki replied. “That’s it, Donghae.”

“The whole department is talking about how you stormed into Chief Park’s office and demanded that he give you the case,” her former partner snapped. “You’re not even back on the force! I saw how affected you were this morning-”

“I am not discussing this with you,” Haruki said coldly. “Or anyone.”

She clicked the phone shut and turned around, only to see Jessica standing in the doorway, staring at her.

“What’s going on?” the model asked softly.

Haruki just shook her head. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

Jessica nodded. “Grab your coat.”

“Why?” Haruki asked.

“Why do you think?”

Club No. 1 hadn’t changed. There were the same psychedelic lights, the same eardrum-exploding music, and the same massive throng of people as Haruki and Jessica squeezed through the door. The moment Haruki stepped inside, however, she was assaulted by more than the alcohol-infused energy of the weeknight crowd.

Strains of “Killa” rang in Haruki’s ears as she stepped through the door. She could still see the table where she’d confronted Daesung about his involvement with the serial killer. She could feel her heart starting to race as she remembered pulling a gun on him, screaming at him to stop lying to her.

She shivered and pulled her coat more tightly around her shoulders.

Jessica noticed as she bit her lip. “Should we pick another place?”

“No, no.” Haruki quickly yanked her coat off, folding her arms around it. “This is fine.”

She needed to face her demons sometime, right?

“Jessica!” Doojoon reached across the counter to give the model a half-hug. “And your roommate! Haruki, right?”

Haruki smiled slightly and nodded. “Hello Doojoon.”

“It’s been a while since you came to visit,” Doojoon replied. “How’ve you been?”

“Same as always,” Haruki replied, with an attempt at a smile.

“And ready to get drunk tonight,” Jessica added.

The club owner laughed. “I’ll get someone to wait on you right away. Good to see you both here again. Like old times, huh?” The detective tried to smile as someone further down the bar called for Doojoon. "I'll catch you guys later. See you later, Jessica. Glad to have you back, Haruki."

Haruki glanced nervously over her shoulder and rubbed her arms, barely suppressing a shiver. “You alright?” Jessica asked.

“Why are you still living with me, Jessica?” Haruki said in reply.

The model frowned. “What?”

“You have your own apartment,” Haruki explained. “And you still pay rent for it. You moved in with me because we were afraid that…you’d be attacked, but that was all a long time ago. Why are you still living with me?”

Jessica turned back to the bar, folding her hands under her chin. In a barely audible voice, she asked, “Do you want me to move out?”

"I didn’t say that,” Haruki replied.

“I can call the movers tomorrow,” Jessica replied. “I’ll be gone before you get back from work.”

“Jessica…”

“I’ll stay at my apartment tonight.” Jessica grabbed her coat and hopped off the bar stool.

“Jessica, wait!”

But the blonde disappeared, weaving through the dancing crowd before Haruki could grab her wrist. She sighed as she crossed her arms on the counter and sank her forehead down against them.

Someone poked the top of her head and she sat up to see Yoseob grinning at her. “It’s you!”

“Hey,” she mumbled.

“Haruki, right? I remember you. You haven’t come here in over a year,” Yoseob replied.

Haruki sat up and frowned at him suspiciously. “How did you-”

“Good with faces,” Yoseob grinned. “I never forget a person I’ve met before. Also, I followed you in the news, with the trial and everything. Tough break with that verdict.”

“It was a just decision,” Haruki snapped.

The bartender got the message. “Can I get you something?”

Haruki glanced at the empty seat beside her, an action that Yoseob instantly picked up on. “Is your friend coming? Do you want to wait until she gets here?”

“She just left,” Haruki replied. Because everyone always left. It was inevitable.

“I don’t feel good, Yoseob,” she said suddenly, standing up. “I think…I don’t feel like drinking tonight. I’ll see you around.”

“Haruki!” Yoseob called as she turned around. She glanced over her shoulder to see him smiling sympathetically at her. “It’s never too late to fix things.”

“Good night, Yoseob,” Haruki replied, heading for the door.

Outside, she asked the bouncer to call a cab and sank down on the curb, running her hands through her hair. She pulled her phone out of her pocket. Fifteen missed calls: four from Donghae, three from Sungmin, and various other ones from various colleagues in the FID. She angrily snapped it shut. Why did they do this? Why did they hide their morbid curiosity behind a façade of compassion? No one truly cared about anyone else; human beings were naturally selfish. If they had any ounce of empathy for her, they would know that she just wanted to be left alone.

Her phone rang again and she answered without looking at the screen. “What?” she growled.

“Well, hello to you, too,” Jiyong said sarcastically. “I was just going to let you know something I found out, but okay, I guess this is a bad time.”

“No, wait.” Haruki sighed. The bouncer tapped her shoulder and gestured towards a taxi pulled up to the club. She nodded her thanks as he opened the door and she climbed in. Quickly giving the driver her address, she sank back. “Sorry about that.”

“Should I call back later?” Jiyong asked.

“No, it’s fine. What did you find?” asked Haruki.

“I was looking at that security footage from the institution,” the hacker replied. “And I realized that it was prerecorded.”

Haruki straightened up so suddenly, the taxi driver gave a questioning look through the rearview mirror. “What do you mean by that?”

“I got all the security tapes from over the past month and ran it through some software I created when I got bored,” Jiyong replied. “It compared the videos to each other, and get this: the video in the security footage from yesterday is the exact same video as the one from two weeks before.”

“It was fed over the actual security tapes from last night,” Haruki said slowly. “So we don’t actually know who was there.” She sighed and rubbed her forehead. “I knew this was too easy. Is there any way of recovering the real tapes?”

Jiyong hummed. “I don’t know, Haruki…the tapes were probably destroyed, so the chance of recovering them is really slim.”

“Please?” Haruki offered.

“You have to do better than that.” She could almost hear him laughing.

“Jiyong, if you can’t do it, just tell me.”

“A ‘pretty please with a cherry on top’ might make it happen,” Jiyong replied. “Of course, a date-”

“Shut up,” Haruki snapped, feeling her mood darken further. “If you can recover them, then do it. If not, stop fooling around. I am not in the mood for your jokes anymore.”

The silence that followed was so long, Haruki was certain Jiyong was gone already. Then she heard his long, slow sigh. “Fine,” he said quietly, before hanging up.

A/N: Sorry I've been taking so long with my updates, guys. But between being old and college and other things, updates may come slowly for the next few months. I apologize in advance and I hope the story will be worth the wait.

On a completely random note, if you guys could do me a favor and check out this blog post I wrote about an idea for an online shop I wanted to open (like on Etsy or something). If you guys could just drop by this blog post and give me a quick comment on whether or not you would be interested/have any questions, I would really appreciate it!