-A bit of Taeyeon’s diary-

Dear Diary,

What does it mean to love somebody? Is it when you’re heart hurts all the time when you don’t see that person? Or when you finally do, you have the urge to hug him and confess to him? If this is what you call love, then am I…am I in love with Donghae?

-End of diary reading-

While writing in her Diary, Taeyeon was shedding tears, she finally admitted to herself that she likes Donghae but the only problem is that he hates her. Even though what he did to her was despicable, Taeyeon was still madly in love with him. Since when did she develop these feelings? Love at first sight or perhaps when Donghae stole Taeyeon’s first kiss? Taeyeon didn’t know. She didn’t want to go to school, she didn’t want to see him; she wanted the feelings to go away and return to being invisible to everyone else.

However, the next day, Taeyeon decided to go to her part time job and go to school like usual. She skipped school yesterday due to the humiliation and hurt Donghae caused her. Even though she didn’t want to go to school ever again, she felt kinda bad for skipping as she is from a poor background, she sees skipping school as a waste of valuable money and time. Taeyeon didn’t stop by the café to buy Donghae’s coffee, she wanted to, but she didn’t. She just walked slowly to school praying to God that everything was just a dream.

“Taeyeon shi!” yelled out someone.

Taeyeon heard someone calling for her from far away, but she didn’t dare look just in case it was Donghae. However that person caught up to her and held onto her shoulder.

Taeyeon turned around, “Siwon shi?”

“Ne, annyeonghaseyo”, Siwon said greeted with the biggest smile along with encouraging eyes, in which Taeyeon was thankful for.

Siwon continued, “where did you go yesterday, I was so worried!”

“Uh", Taeyeon was surprised to why Siwon was worried but she replied anyway, “I went home, I just went to the main office and told them I didn’t feel well. Mianhae…for making you worry.”

“Of course I was worried, what my best friend did was unforgivable, for that I must worry about you in his place,” said Siwon. In the past if Siwon said that to Taeyeon, she would blush and be happy (even though they never talked until her and Donghae became a “couple”). But now, Taeyeon was too tired to blush or cared about what Siwon said, she just simply nodded and gave him the weakest smile.

“Siwon, I better-“ Taeyeon was interrupted by him.

“I’m not done talking though. I mean…what I was meant to say was…” Siwon was blushing, Taeyeon looked at him and was confused.

Siwon continued, “Let me replace Donghae!”

Taeyeon just stared at Siwon as she didn’t understand what he meant.

Siwon continues, “what I mean was, let me take you out on a date, let me make you be happy, let me do whatever Donghae didn’t do as a boyfriend. Taeyeon shi, please go out with me”. After the marvellous speech, Siwon bowed and didn’t lift his head up. Taeyeon was just staring at the back of his head, shocked. She didn’t know how to answer. She used to have a crush on Siwon, but now that she met Donghae, she fell in love with him instead.

“Siwon shi, can just please lift your head up, you’re grabbing everyone’s attention” begged Taeyeon.

“Aniyo, I’m not gonna look up until you promise to go on a date with me!” yelled Siwon.

Even though they were only pretending for the last two weeks, Taeyeon and Donghae were still technically “going out”.

“But Siwon shi, I’m…me...Donghae…you know” Taeyeon said.

Siwon finally looked up and looked at her with serious and demanding eyes, “break up with him”. Taeyeon was taken back with the sudden abruptness in Siwon, but she knew that if another girl was standing in her shoes, they would have fallen for him. However, all she was thinking about was Donghae. Taeyeon didn’t know what to say, “I….”

At this time someone else interrupted them, “just break up then”.

Turns out it was Donghae; he heard and saw everything without the other two knowing.

Taeyeon turned around and quickly looked down, she couldn’t bare to look at him.

Donghae continued and started walking towards Siwon and Taeyeon, “as if I care anyway. I wouldn’t be bothered or hurt if we broke up. So since Siwon likes Taeyeon, why don’t you both just go out? Don’t worry about me” and ended with a smile.

Taeyeon felt a knife digging into her heart. When Siwon was about to yell at Donghae, Taeyeon finally spoke, which surprised Siwon, Donghae and the audience who was crowded around them.

Taeyeon didn’t know where she had the courage from but she turned to Donghae and look straight into his eyes. “You really won’t get hurt if I leave your side?” Donghae was taken back by the way she was looking at him.

-Donghae’s POV-

Tayeoen ah mianhae. Please don’t look at me like that, those hurtful eyes of yours are killing me.

-End of POV

When Donghae came back to reality and was about to reply to Taeyeon, he got interrupted by her.

“Will you really be okay, if I don’t wait for you by the gate after school, or buy you lunch?”

Once again when Donghae wanted to reply, Taeyeon interrupted him.

“Will you really be okay if I don’t buy you your daily coffee?”

Donghae couldn’t take it anymore, he avoided her eyes and averted his view to Siwon, then finally replied without interruption, “Ne, of course. Those things were unnecessary to begin with.”

There was a pause, a long pause, but was soon broken by Taeyeon.

“Fine, you said so. Lee Donghae, we are officially over” and she walked away from the crowd.

Siwon death stared Donghae one last time and followed Taeyeon. Soon after, the crowd started fading away and school was about to start. However Donghae didn’t show up to class, and Taeyeon was glad as she was starting to feel embarrassed about what just happened. And she promised herself not to care about him anymore.

-On the roof top –

Donghae was just lying there, emotionless and motionless. He stared in the sky and simply asked himself, “Ah, Lee Donghae, what are you doing?”

*Hey, just  question for my readers, in chapter 6, i kinda explained why Donghae didn't want Taeyeon to fall for him, because he didn't want to hurt her...so on... Did you guys actually understand that? Or did i write it in away that confused you? So i guess my question was whether i made it clear for you guys about Donghae's feelings for Taeyeon? As this is an important please let me know ^^