Kai
Modern day, pre-debut Seoul
Rating: PG

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"He's not ready."

"How would you know?"

"Because he cannot for the life of him - or lack there of - do anything without having some sort of break!"

That last comment made Kai flinch. Hearing the choreographers talking about him from just beyond the door was never fun. But part of him knew they were right. He did keep getting hurt at pratice and that kept pushing things back for everyone.

"He isn't just a robot or something oyu can fix with the turn of a screw."

"Greg, you can't baby him forever."

"He can't be just an adult, though. He's not even out of his teens and-"

"He asked for this. He knew what was coming."

"But-"

"Look, I get it. He's a great kid and you've taken a real liking to him. We all have. But it's not just about him. He has eleven brothers who are waiting for him, expecting him to walk out tomorrow with a smile on his face and a handful of hot packs in each hand. He needs to- oh, Suho! What are you doing here?"

"Just wanted to check in on Jongin, sir." Kai smiled upon hearing Suho's voice. He was a nah at times, but Suho always meant well. Kai knew Suho best, so when they silently sit in the dorm lounge on opposite ends of a worn out couch on those rare days off, it's never awkward. Just comfortable. And it's something only the two of them can understand. "It's okay, right?"

"Yeah, sure, but he was sleeping when we checked about ten minutes ago." Greg answered.

Kai pulled the sheets over his head as the doorknob clicked until Suho's hand. "We'll be going. If he wakes up, tell him I've got to talk to him."

"Yes, sir." Suho closed the door behind himself and settled into a seat next to Kai's bed. It wasn't hte first time Suho had visited Kai in the company's makeshift infirmary room, and it likely would not be the last if Kai kept putting in as much time and dedication as he always did. "Kai."

Kai remained still, save the slight rise and fall of his chest as he inhaled the stale air.

"Jongin, I know you're awake." There was still no answer. "Fine, I'll go tell Kyungsoo you ate the last of the spaghetti he was savig for Xiumin and Luhan."

"Hey!" Kai shot up, knockung the covers onto the floor. "I did no such thing! Sehun ate it!"

"I know. Just wanted to make sure I have your attention." Suho answered with an uncharacteristically smug look.

"Well you have it. Jerk."

"Love you, too, Jongin." Suho adjusted himself in the seat. "You okay? Need anything?"

"Other than permission to leave this room? Nope, not really."

Suho rolled his eyes - lovingly, of course. He knew Kai would get restless easily when he was sent to this room, and being told "no dancing for 36 hours" was basically the same as being told to stop breathing. "Just relax and concentrate on getting better. We want you there in one piece when we face the debut."

Kai nodded, eyes staring more at his own feet than at Suho as his finger came up and unconsiously started proding at his lower lip. Kai may not have noticed it himself, but Suho knew. He knew that look on Kai's face when he's just thinking or sinking back into something deeper and so far into the recesses of his own mind. It was as if Kai shut himself out of the world around him, and maybe that's what happened because Suho would swear that every time Kai had that look on his face, he didn't look like Kai.

There was also that ever-so slight shift in the air when Kai's eyes would unfocus just a bit and Kai would look like, even if only for a fleeting moment, a robot waiting for its master to flip his switch on.

"Don't think you're holding us back, okay?"

Kai looked over at Suho. "What are you talking about?"

"What the choreographers were saying outside. Yeah, we're waiting, but I think I speak for the rest of our brothers when I say that your health is a lot more important than the debut. We've been working and waiting for so long, sure, but without you we'd be nothing. All the hype and attention? That's mostly because of you and how you were able to capture so many eyes with that first video."

"I wasn't thinking that..."

"Well, just in case you were, don't forget that it's okay to make a mistake or hurt or-"

"What if I break?"

"Then you'll get fixed up and come back to us."

"No. I mean, what if I break."

"...you wont. We wont let you."

Kai pulled himself into a ball. He tucked his chin into his knees and wrapped his arms around his legs to keep them up. "You say that, but you can't promise that. I'm easy enough to replace. There are enough hopefulls and trainees around that one of them is probably about as good as me. I'm one of a million "dancing machines" that get tossed into the lime light for a few years before someone else pushes me off stage. Baek's even getting attention for his dancing and he's supposed to be a singer!"

"Okay, I can't promise Kai wont break, but I can promise that Jongin isn't just a machine. Kai might be another SM dancer, but Jongin is our dancing machine. Jongin is our friend and brother." Suho scooted closer and began rubbing small circles into Kai's back. "Don't forget that. Ever."

The two sat in silence after that. They basked the in comfort no one else seemed to grasp and fell back into the days they would sit across from each other, playfully poking each other with their toes or watching TV while reading a book. Suho continued to rub circles into Kai's back, and Kai drifted back into his thoughts.

Maybe it's okay to be a machine. Maybe the mechanical life style and robotic routine was something Kai could learn to accept. Maybe Kai already accepted that.

Jongin, on the other hand, was no machine.

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a/n: well....this took a really unexpected turn. I didn't plan on throwing Suho into the mix, but the SuKiRa broadcast kind of just made that happen. I blame Suho's stupid letter that was so full of feels and wow, why is he such a sweetheart T.t
I also wasn't planning on using the Kai/Jongin play the way I did, but then it kind of naturally happened. So...there :p