My Heart Will Go On
Saving Your Heart
9:30AM, less than 35 hours
I have to save her... it's time to put my plan into action, Jeongmin thought confidently to himself.
He slung his back over one shoulder and walked toward the school doors. Jeongmin suddenly stopped as he pressed his hand against the door. He smiled.
It's Friday isn't it?
He quickly turned around and scurried down the stone steps. Quickly without anyone noticing, he ran around the school to the back garden, the least popular commons ground. Jeongmin immediately saw what he was wanting to see. He hit behind a large oak tree and peered around the side. In the corner of the garden, crouching on her heels, was Hani. Hani was doing her weekly feeding and bowl refill for the local stray cat.
"Come here, Mittens," she cooed, holding out a piece of cat kibble.
A black cat with white paws came strolling in through the bushes. He had two different colored eyes with a white, heart shaped mark on his forehead. Jeongmin watched intently as Hani petted the cat and brushed his fur with a brush she brought in her bag. She looked around, making sure no one could see. She stealthily filled his hidden bowl with kibble and another bowl with fresh water before petting him good bye.
"All right, I'll see you next week," she said in a baby voice.
Jeongmin's heart ached at her words. He swallowed the hard lump in his throat and looked away.
If I don't save you... there won't be a next week... Jeongmin thought.
Hani smiled softly and walked off, passing by Jeongmin leaning on the tree. Jeongmin tapped her on the shoulder and she whipped around in surprise.
"J-jeongmin! How long have you been there?" She stammered.
"Not long," Jeongmin chuckled.
"Whatever. We have to get to class or we'll be late," Hani flipped her hair and strutted away.
Before she could get far, Jeongmin bit his lip in anticipation and grabbed her wrist. He spun her around and pinned her against the tree. Hani looked up at Jeongmin, her heart racing in her chest. Jeongmin's expression changed to a more serious, placid expression. He leaned toward Hani, causing her to slump against the tree.
"W-what?" She asked, afraid he would get any closer.
"Hani, there's something I've been meaning to tell you," Jeongmin started off.
Oh, god... has it come... that day when everything gets spilled? Hani thought it her head.
Jeongmin let go of Hani and backed away, digging his hands into his pockets.
"I don't want to be friends anymore... so, don't hang around with me anymore. Truth is," Jeongmin smirked mischievously. "Look, we've been friends since we were babies. I think it's about time we part. We're graduating soon, you know? So, um, see you."
Jeongmin walked away in a beat, not even looking back. "Not really."
Hani stared at him in disbelief. She slid down against the tree, her head and heart hurting more than they ever would. Hani looked down at the ground, her eyes darting around in confusion.
What the hell just happened? Hani asked herself, her fists clenching up in her lap.
2:55PM, less than 30 hours
"Jeongmin oppa, will you walk me home?" A girl whined, tugging on Jeongmin's arm.
Jeongmin smiled slightly at her, not even glancing toward Hani. Angrily, Hani cut her off and stood between the girl and Jeongmin. She shoved her backpack into Jeongmin's arms, surprising even him. Hani cockily flipped her hair to the side and looked the girl up and down.
"Yeah, sorry, but he's walking me home. Jeongmin, carry my bag. Let's go," Hani snapped her fingers at Jeongmin like he was a dog.
"He doesn't have to listen to you, Spoiled Witch," the girl snapped. "Jeongmin, don't let her treat you like that!"
"We're childhood friends. I can treat him whatever way I want!" Hani argued.
"If you were my friend, you wouldn't treat me like a pack mule," Jeongmin said bluntly, shoving the backpack back into Hani's arms.
"J-Jeongmin?" Hani stuttered sheepishly, watching as her friend walked away. He suddenly stopped before the door, earning hopeful eyes from Hani.
"By the way, I thought you might want this back," Jeongmin said, taking his ring off and placing it on the table before him.
Hani waited until Jeongmin left and picked up the ring, heartbroken. It was their best friends ring. Hani wore the "best" while Jeongmin wore the "friends." They had gotten the rings together when they were ten and worn them ever since. Nine years later... Jeongmin returned his ring to Hani, shattering her fragile heart.
Upset, Hani ran out to the back garden, her refuge. As the hot tears began streaming down her face, Hani grasped Jeongmin's ring in her hand, afraid that she'll lost it; lose him. She didn't understand. What was going on? Why was this happening? What happened to Jeongmin? What-
Meow.
Hani sniffed her tears up and looked to the side to see Mittens prowling in. He rubbed up against her arm, pleading for her to pet him. She smiled and wiped her tears, petting the soft kitten.
"Mittens. You know, I haven't been taking care of you for long, but you'll stay with me, right?" Hani asked softly, afraid others will hear her.
Meow, Mittens climbed into her lap and smacked his paws against her cheeks, as if to wipe her tears away.
Hani giggled and lifted Mittens up, grinning from ear to ear.
"You're right. Forget him! That jerk. We'll be best friends forever!" She laughed and played with the kitten.
Hani eventually put Mittens down and looked at her ring, took it off, and stuck it along with Jeongmin's ring in her jacket pocket without another thought. With her heart still aching, Hani walked home. From time after time, Hani winced at a small tug she felt in her heart; a painful tug.
1:30PM, less than eight hours
Dear Journal,
Jeongmin is still ignoring me and being a jerk. What is up with this guy? I thought we were friends. :(
I don't know what to do anymore. We've been through so much together. How could he just say, "Oh, let's not be friends anymore. Dur hur hur. No! Lee Jeongmin, you will be my friend whether you like it or not! Strangely, he left an hour ago with his mom. Something about an appointment. His mom looked pretty upset. Is Jeongmin okay? Is he hurt?
This guy. Making me worry about him. Just wait until he comes back from where ever. I'm going to kick is a-... apples. Stupid Jeo-
"Ow," Hani gasped, halting her writing.
She gripped her chest as it began to get tight, hurting her more than ever. Hani shook it off and ignored that it ever happened.
Ignore it, Hani. It's probably just because your blood is pumping fast due to anger. Just calm down and breath, Hani reassured herself. Forget that jerk... just forget him... it'll be better for your mentality and your heart.
Hani stopped and stared at what she wrote glumly. She sighed and scratched it out.
I want to, Hani. I really do... but... I can't.
8:30PM, Half An Hour Until The Clock Gears Turn
"Is he really going to ignore me like this? After all we've been through? After everything that we've done together. I just... I ca- Ow!" Hani groaned and grasped her chest, her heart feeling like a sword pierced it.
Hani cringed and shook it off like the strongheaded girl she was. She glared at herself in the bathroom mirror.
"Look at yourself, Hani. You're going crazy, talking to yourself... it's all your fault," her expression softened into a glum husk of the confident diva queen she used to be. "It's your fault he's gotten tired of you... it's your fault your heart is in pain... it's your fault because you... fell in love with your best friend."
Hani's wandering eyes drifted back to reality, and she smacked herself across the face. She abruptly turned the sink on and splashed herself with cold water then looked back into the mirror.
"Stop kidding yourself. You know it's not possible. It's not possible... it was never possible," she shook her head. "You didn't have a chance... the least you could have done was control him... hold onto him for as long as possible."
She sighed and walked out of the bathroom. "Maybe some TV will help take my mind of off things."
Hani plopped onto her bed and grabbed the TV remote. She switched it on, turning to the News channel. She groaned at how boring the News always was, when the reporter abruptly changed. Hani stared at the fire blazing behind the reporter before realizing the familiar surroundings.
"That's my school..." She gasped, sitting on the edge of her bed. She turned the volume up and listened as the reporter struggled to speak over the blaring fire trucks.
"Ladies and gentlemen, right now I am standing in front of Seoul High School where a large fire has started in the west wing. The fire has just engulfed the school's garden and is beginning to spread into the school. Firefighters are working strenuously to lower the fire to no avail. We have a feeling the damages from this fire will be at large. The source of the fire is currently still unknown but is rumored to possibly be a careless passerby's cigarette. With the dry weather we are having, there is no doubt that one little cigarette could cause such destruction," the reporter explained the situation.
Hani couldn't believe her eyes. Her thoughts and stress of Jeongmin completely diminished and were replaced by anxiety and worries for her dear pet kitten. Not waiting another second, she grabbed her jacket and rushed downstairs, surprising her mother.
"Hani? Where are you going at this time?" She asked.
"I can't talk, Mom! I have to save him! I have to find Mittens!" Hani cried, sticking her feet into her shoes and racing out the door.
"Hani! Don't run!" Her mother warned, rushing over to the door. "Oh, no..."
Her mother quickly grabbed the phone and dialed Jeongmin's hosue number. Mrs. Lee immidiately picked up.
"Yun Hee, is Jeongmin there? Hani just rushed out the house, and she seems to be in a panic," there was a long silence over the phone before a soft murmur and sobbing seeped through. "He... he what? Why is he there? No... don't tell me."
"I'm afraid so," Mrs. Lee's voice cracked over the phone.
...
Mittens... Mittens... I have to save Mittens! Hani screamed in her mind, fearing more for her beloved pet's fate rather than her own health. I have to find Mittens...
Hani's heart raced faster and faster with every step she took. The blood pumping into her head caused her to more than dizzy. Jeongmin's worried voice suddenly began to flood her mind alongside the beat of her heart.
Hani-ah, you shouldn't be over working yourself...
Hani-ah, you shouldn't run that fast...
Please don't be mad, Hani-ah...
Hani! Let's play a board game, okay? Hani remembered Jeongmin's happy smiling face and outstretched arms.
Her vision began to fill with blood spots and an image of Jeongmin appeared before her, welcoming me her. The hallucinating girl ran towards him, wanting to be embraced by him one more time. Instead of meeting with his soft and warm body, she met with the cold, hard ground. The firetrucks blaring off in the distance. With her vision still blotched, she spotted a small black spot make its way towards her.
"Mittens?" Hani whispered is a coarse voice.
Meow, the little kitten purred and rubbed it soft fur against her cheek.
"It's so cold..." Hani groaned and dug her hands into her pockets when she felt a familiar item.
She pulled out her and Jeongmin's rings and them up to her face. With tears streaming down her face, she gasped and cried out weakly, "Help me, Jeongmin."
The last thing Hani saw through her shadowed vision was a pedestrian racing towards her. She smiled and drifted into her painful slumber.
Jeongmin?
12:45PM, Four Days After The Heart Attack
Beep.
Beep.
Beep.
"Oh," Hani groaned, fluttering her eyes open. "Where am I?"
She stared up at the white ceiling above her and shifted under the warm, crisp blankets. Slowly moving her head to the side, she looked outside the window as the afternoon light seeped in. She took a deep breath of sterile air and cautiously sat up. Before she could sit all the way up, a nurse and doctor spotted her as they passed by and stepped in, gently putting her back down in bed.
"Don't sit up just yet dear," the nurse cooed.
"Where am I?" Hani asked in a hushed tone. "Why won't you let me sit up? What time is it?"
"You're in the hospital, sweetheart. You just went through an operation, and you've been out for nearly four days now," the nruse explained calmly.
"Her heartbeat seems normal," the doctor said, placing his stethoscope onto Hani's wrist. "It looks like the operation was successful."
"Operation?" Hani groaned.
"Congratulations, Hani. You are now free of heart attacks and problems," the doctor announced.
"What are you talking about? I had a heart operation? Who was the donor?" Hani curiously asked.
The doctor looked away and stated quietly, "Lee Jeongmin."
Hani's eyes grew in size as she sat up quickly in bed. She began to panic in a flurry of emotions. The doctor and nurse tried to calm her down and get her to stop as she ripped off her covers and oxygen mask.
"Ms. Hani! Please stop! You'll hurt yourself," the nurse scorned gently.
"No! You're lying to me! Jeongmin is still alive. He's out there! He's waiting for me. I have to find him and tell him I'm sorry! I have to find, Jeongmin!" Hani shrieked, pushing the nurse away. "Where is he? Find him for me!"
"Hani, please calm down," Mrs. Lee called in through the door. Holding a tissue up to , she entered the room. "The doctor is not lying to you, Hani. Jeongmin really did give you his heart."
Hani stopped struggling and let the nurse tuck her back into bed. She shook her head as her eyes drown in a sea of teas. She pulled the covers over her face, sobbing uncontrollably.
"No! No! It's not true! Why would he do that? He left me! He abandoned me as a friend," Hani shouted in disbelief.
"Hani... before anything else happens... I want you to take this," Mrs. Lee lifted up the covers and stuck an envelope under. "These were Jeongmin's last words while he sat in the hospital, waiting for you. Jeongmin knew this would happen. He wanted it to happen."
Hani let out a sharp breath and took the envelope, ripping it open. She slowly opened the piece of notebook paper and quietly read to herself.
Dear My Sweet, Loving Hani,
How are you feeling? You must feel a lot better, right? It makes me happy knowing that you're okay now. You're safe, Hani, and you'll always be from now on. Right now I'm looking out at the bright afternoon sun. Ah-cha, it's so hot in Korea now a days, right? You must be wonder what's going on, right? How about I help you out?
As you know, I have the eyes of a Death God. I can see people's death rings, the day they die, and how they die. Well... Hani... a few days ago, I saw a death ring somewhere I didn't want it to be; around your neck. I knew I had to do something. What else could I have done? I cannot change fate from happening, but I could at least change its course. And so I did. Look after my heart, okay? I've left it with you. You must be wondering why I did this after I coldly left your side...
Hani... I love you. I always have, and I always will, until the end of time. Did you know that? I care about you more than anything. I saw through your hateful shell, Hani. The only reason you act so badly is because you don't want anyone to shed tears for you if you ever part this world, isn't it? I know that's the reason because I decided to steal your idea. Sorry. I'm a very good actor aren't I? Hihi. I'm your best friend... of course I know that you are actually a sweet, misunderstood girl. I wanted to be the one to understand you.
I'll be watching you from a better place now now. Make sure you don't overwork yourself! My heart is as strong as an ox, so you won't have to worry about hurting yourself ever again!
Hani bit her lip and tried to hold the tears back, but they wouldn't stop flowing. Her tears fell upon the letter and began to smudge as she panicked, wiping the tears away.
Now, now, don't cry for me. I don't like it when you cry. It makes me want to cry as well. Instead you should smile! Smile because you're alive. Smile because you know now that I love you. Smile because we were friends. Always smile, Hani. But most of all, always remember, I love you, I have loved you, and I will always love you. Do you love me? Hihi... I'm kidding. Good bye... I will always be in your... my... our heart.
Always There For You,
Lee Jeongmin
By now, Hani was bawling her eyes out. Mrs. Lee came over and comforted her, softly rubbing her back as she heaved heavy sobs. Mrs. Lee herself shed a few tears, knowing that her son was gone, but she held back her sobs, knowing her son did it for the person he loved.
"Such a foolish boy... he saw your death ring. I just wish he had seen his own," Mrs. Lee whispered. "Oh, Hani, you must love him very much."
Hani gently backed away and rubbed her eyes. She sighed and smiled sorrowfully.
"No. It's not because I love him. It's because now that I have his heart, I can feel how much he loves me. And surprisingly," Hani beamed as she hugged the letter to her chest. "I loved him just as much when I had my heart."
...
Off in the distance, Jeongmin sat on the edge of a rooftop, swinging his legs over the side. He tilted his head as he watched Hani read the letter. He smiled softly.
"She loved me," Jeongmin cooed, leaning back.
"Of course she did," Mittens added, grooming himself.
Jeongmin turned to Mittens and rasied an eyebrow questionably. "What are you doing here?"
"I'm here to take you to Heaven you dork," Mittens retorted.
Jeongmin clicked his tongue in irritation. "Can't you just let me meet her one more time?"
"Boss' orders," Mittens replied. Mittens strutted over to Jeongmin and placed something into his lap. "By the way, I found these."
Jeongmin looked at the two items in his lap and smiled. Without saying another word, he slipped both of them onto his finger and looked at them in the sunlight. Mittens tugged on Jeongmin's shirt, signaling that it was time to go. He sighed and stood up, opening his wings. Mittens took off first while Jeongmin took one last look at Hani.
Good bye, Hani... maybe I will visit you in the future. Yes?
He took to the skies, disappearing into the clear blue sky. As Hani sat in her hospital bed, she glanced outside as a large white dove took off from a nearby rooftop. Hani smiled as her heart began to beat at the sight.
Good bye, Jeongmin... I'll take good care of our heart.
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