Tracklist 1: Dance Without You

Chapter 2

I felt something press against my ears tickling me. I scrunched up my nose and slowly opened my eyes. Fluttering them in an attempt to wake up but failed when my heavy lids closed again followed by a yawn. Something pulled me closer and a low chuckle came from what I thought was a pillow. A husky low voice followed. A voice I’d know to whom it belongs anytime.

“Good morning sleepyhead.”

I tried to open my eyes again and the moment it came to focus, memories of last night flashed back. But I didn’t want to ruin such a beautiful morning. A morning where your angelic face was just inches from me, that smile that just made my heart skipped a few beats.

Thankfully, I managed to talk without stuttering nor did my smile look weird.

“Good Morning.”

You suddenly lunged down placing a light soft kiss on my lips then smiled again, this time with those adorable dimples showing. I blushed. No matter how many years it has been, my cheeks would be tinted red whenever you do that, making me love you even more. Correction, whatever you do makes me love you more.

I squirm away from your embrace and miss the warmth of your body the moment I sat up.

“I’ll go prepare breakfast.”

You pouted. A childish act you always pull of when you disagree with something.

“Can’t we stay in bed a bit longer yeobo? ~ ” You whined making me turn halfway when I reached the door. I gave you a smile. A genuine one this time before a small chuckle escaped my lips.

“We both have an early schedule Saeng. Go take a shower. I’ll call when the food is ready.”

I my heels and finally went to the chicken. Automatically, I opened the refrigerator to see what I could cook. But the cake given by my friends was the first thing I saw. The bold letterings of Happy Birthday joyful printed on it.

“Yeobo ~ the conditioner’s gone.” You came in the kitchen, wrapped in nothing but a towel around your waist, hair dripping and sticking on your forehead while you wave an empty canister of conditioner. “Do we have – Ah! A cake, are you finally letting me eat sweets for breakfast?”

I froze. Mind turned blank just when I need to think of a quick response. My attention was elsewhere, it was on my heart to be exact. I was listening to it break into pieces knowing that you have forgotten. The excitement in your voice clearly indicating you did.

“Uh anni. T-t-this was just given by my co-dancers at work.” I bit my lip when it was an obvious lie. Damn you stuttering.

I watched you open your mouth then shut it a second after. I just know you too well at this point. So I beat you to it.

“It’s okay Saeng, I know you are busy recording and composing for that new client.” I walked to the necessity cabinet before handing you a new bottle of conditioner. “Here you go, finish your shower or you’ll catch a cold.” I turned around and pretended to scan the refrigerator for something to cook.

If I stayed looking at you a minute longer, I might break out and cry. I was aware of your presence that still lingered behind me but I refuse to deal with this conversation with you. Not when the one who’ll end up hurt…was me.

I didn’t want the events of last night to replay in my mind again. It was painful. Too painful.

Your arms that s around my waist took me out of my personal space. I could feel your hot breath tickling the hair at my nape where my shirt couldn’t cover.

“Sh*t, I totally forgot. I’m sorry baby.”

I remained silent. Honestly, I didn’t even know what to say.

“Let’s eat out later for dinner. After I finish my schedules I’ll meet you and let’s have fun. Let me make it up to you.” You gently placed a kiss on my neck.

I nodded, a small smile on my lips forming as I waited for that three words that was supposed to come next.

But it didn’t.

Those three words became rare.

Ever since you started on working with her…

Slowly I felt you inch away and left, more likely to finish your shower. I squeezed the refrigerator’s handle tightly as I took multiple breathes to calm myself. It took a minute of inhales and exhales before I managed to push last night to the back of my mind. I’m giving my heart on more try.

We weren’t lovers for three long years for nothing.

I didn’t spend two years opening the introverted me back then.

All my firsts weren’t given to you for nothing.

All of these must mean something right?

That we should everything.

Somehow I managed to whip up a quick breakfast that would hold you down until lunch time. You were watching your weight lately so you barely take snacks anymore. Can’t blame you though, I could relate.

You being an idol and a composer.

And me being a model and dance choreographer.

I set down your rice bowl when as if on cue you emerged inside the kitchen again and sat down. Breakfast was spent on you telling many stories about the people you work with, half of them I don’t recognize. You also told me your schedules on and on but I just let you be.  I love listening to you.

“And oh ~ I’ll be guest-ing later at Sukira with Leetuk hyung and Eunhyuk-ssi. I heard that my dongsaengs T-ara will be there too.” You added excitedly.

T-ara huh? It means she would be there.

I ignored the prick in my heart. This was work. That was all.

Suddenly the doorbell rang and I knew it was your manager that has come to pick you up. I internally laughed sarcastically when a certain thought crossed my mind. Even our managers didn’t know about us. I wanted to applaud fhim for still not having the slightest clue. Still believing that I was just your childhood best friend – well at least that wasn’t a complete lie.

Your parents only granted you permission to leave alone if I would accompany you. Since you always had this tendency to forget to eat or sleep when working on something. It was a condition that your management approved but must be kept secret. Well, not one scandal or rumor about us have ever been in the news for three years. That must be why. Because we had to be careful not to let them know.

I watched from the window as you threw your bag inside the van and sat inside. With your manager closing the door for you, eyeing how the vehicle drove farther away by each second.

I right away headed to the bathroom to take a shower. It won’t be long before my own manager picks me up since I have a photo shoot first before I can go to the dance studio. I’ve only started modeling barely a year ago and despite the many cf’s I did here there. It was still a long way before I reached your level. You are star and I was just a rookie.

Soon I heard the doorbell ring again and I knew that was for me. Blow drying the last part of my hair that was still a bit damp, I grabbed my bag and headed downstairs. I’ll work hard today for you Saeng.

“Sooo…how long are you going to space out?” I was snapped back to reality when this idol artist I was working with for a new endorsement spread spoke up. “I said how long are you going to space out?” He repeated the question I presumed I didn’t hear the first time.

“Mianhe. I’ll concentrate harder later.” I embarrassingly smiled knowing that I had been caught not taking my work seriously since the photo shoot started. “Um where did the cordi unnies go?”

“If something’s bothering you, I’m a good listener. Plus I don’t bite.” He flashed a smile. The one that those boy next door do the very first time you meet – a smile that would send a lot of fans to go crazy. Fortunately I had someone in mind, so I was quite immune to it. “And oh, the cordi noonas was talking about getting more concealer for those wrinkles you have.” He added.

Instantly, I faced the mirror only to turn back when I heard a low chuckle. “Yah!” I chuckled along with him. “But thank you, that took some weight of my shoulders.”

“Do you have your phone with you?” He suddenly asked.

I shook my head no. “Anni, usually my manager holds it while I’m working. Waeyo?” I asked curiously since he was digging something inside his backpack.

“Then I’ll give you this.” He took out a small black case and scribbled something on one of the cards there. “Just don’t sell it to any of my fans or else manager hyung will kill me.” He said and gave me the said card.

I took it and eyed the business card of a chicken house before turning it around. “Yah I don’t need your digits.” I rolled my eyes and playfully ignored the person seating next to me.

“Ei you’re lucky. Usually my fans will kill each other to get that Eun Ha.” He said in a teasing tone and nudge my seat with his foot. “Kim Eun Ha when you feel that the whole world had just betrayed you. Call me. Arasso?” You smiled again and wiggled your eyebrows weirdly. Such a dunce.

“Aren’t you being too arrogant?” I challenged him.

“Anni, it’s more on enjoying and being confident. You should do that too Eun Ha. You’re a great model.” He swinged his chair around and stood up.

“Ei? Yah K—“my complaint was cut off when my manager came and told me that the shoot would now resume. I tucked the business card I was holding to the open zipper of my bag and followed suit.

7:10PM

I logged in just as soon as I got home. The radio show should have started ten minutes ago so it wasn’t a surprised when as soon as the web camera loaded you were already in the middle of saying something.

It took a minute before I realize that the radio dj’s asked you about your upcoming new album and what it was like to work with T-ara’s title track.

It’s just work. I told myself many times despite the jealousy crawling out my heart. It was hard to convince myself. Not when the two of you were seating across each other and how she looks stunning. Even in just casual clothes, she really stood out. A star just like you.

But somehow I managed to put it aside and enjoyed how the two dj’s were a chaos of fun making me laugh here and there. Especially when they tease you about looking cute and asking for aegyo moves. That was lived shortly.

7:28PM

“Youngsaeng-sshi give us a little detail about the making of the t-ara’s title track before we ask them.” Leeteuk asked her group. I’ve only met him once when I went to your studio once because I asked you to remake a dance song for me. It was when I was auditioning as a choreographer for a known talent agency.

You chuckled a bit and repositioned your headphone. “Like the First Time’s concept was falling in love all over again with the same person. Like feeling the same way you do when you just met with the same excitement.”

“The girls were doing well in the recording but one person keeps on dozing off when I was teaching them the key points of the song.” You suddenly said in a teasing voice.

It’s just work. That’s all there is. Work.

“Dongsaengs why don’t you introduce to us the title track of your new album.” Leeteuk signaled and the girls stood up.

“For the one who was dozing off show your efforts neh?” Eunhyuk teased as I saw him browse through the screen in front of him. “Let’s hear it then T-ara’s Like The First Time!” He announced excitedly while clapping.

But what got my attention was you as they started singing.

I’ve been around you longer than five years. Though it looked normal to everyone but to me it wasn’t.

You make me happy
You make me feel
Like the first time, like the first time
You make me crazy
You keep making me want you
Like the first time, like the first time

The way she looked at you while singing those lines and how you smiled lopsidedly, flashing that dimples of yours. Something that had always taken me aback and fall for you more every single time you did it. Because I just plainly love you Heo Young Saeng.

Like the first time~
Like the first time~
Like the first time~ like like
Like the first time

Why does my temperature keep rising?
My entire body (always)
It gets so hot (always)
Why do I keep getting dizzy?
It lost my mind(always)
I feel like I'm about to die (always)

Love love, was it only words until now?
I met you and I feel
What love really is

I tried to tell myself that I was only imagining it. Exaggerating on what I was seeing.

The camera focused on one of the members as she started the first verse of a rap part.

Then the screen was halved. A part of it showing her as she started the second verse of the rap and the other was you watching them.

Watching her.

She was talented. She could sing and rap so well.

I stared intently at my screen waiting for that one sign.

This is about my man
You know you're the only man, only a guy like can know
How to make make me happy happy happy (ho!)
How to make make me feel feel feel (ho!)

Then there it was. The sign I dreaded to find.

You were in love. It was written all over your eyes.

But it wasn’t with me.

I didn’t know how long I just sat there frozen.

When I looked at the screen again it seems like you were having a commercial since everyone was walking around, goofing around.

7:43 PM

I shut my laptop off shoved it inside its bag and shuffled into our room.

I grabbed a sticky note saying I will be out in case you come home.

But I knew it was useless.

There won’t be any dinner tonight.

Nor would you be returning home.

Cause she will be with what she calls my man.

But I’m not leaving you just yet. I mentally said as I packed an overnight bag.

I just need to get away from this place that reminds me of you.

I need to think.

It’s not like you’ll notice I was gone anyway.

Since you’re probably be busy later making her feel good. 

~~~~

A/N:

Manse! I was able to finish it though I was late by 22 minutes. I was targetting to get it done by 12 midnight but seems like this chapter became longer than expected.

Thank you for supporting me and this fic ^^ I'm really sorry about Someone to Protect. . .

I'll work harder with this. . .though forgive me if I can only update once or twice a week. . .

for those who know me from my other fics. . .i'm currently a dance choreopgraper trainee for a certain entertainment company. . .

so please be gentle in scolding your unnie neh?