p a r t  o n e

“Don’t get too close, or you’ll get burned.” Lee Sungjong lives by that quote; he refuses to get burned. He simply refuses to get hurt.

He would much rather burn bridges first.

-

A bridge is a connection; a symbolic relationship. It is the emotional contract that binds one person to another.

It is something that terrifies Lee Sungjong.

-

Sungjong was nine when he witnessed his first bridge burning.

His parents had the most sacred and supposedly beautiful bridge of all- but that didn’t stop his father from burning it.

It didn’t stop his father at all- none of his mother’s tears, her pain, her unhappiness.

He was only nine when his heart broke for the first time at the sight of his mother’s heartbreak.

-

Sungjong doesn’t self-evaluate himself very often- he doesn’t feel the need to do some reflecting, usually. But on the days that he does look at himself, he thinks that he’s rather cold (and lonely).

But he would rather be cold than be hurt by someone who he thought would never hurt him.

(Oh no- Sungjong is determined to not relive his mother’s pain.)

-

He grows up a little reserved and kind of quiet. He is the kind of kid that tries to fade into the background because having attention gives way to potentially being hurt- and no, Sungjong cannot have that.

-

Lee Sungjong meets Lee Sungyeol on the first day of sixth grade. “You have a pretty face.” That is the first thing that the taller boy says. They are standing side-by-side, lined up to go into Ms. Jung’s sixth grade class.

He stares blankly at the taller kid; he doesn’t know how to answer, so he won’t.

Lee Sungyeol isn’t deterred. “Pretty people get far.” he laughs a little and it is obvious that it is a joke, but Sungjong takes it to heart because hey- he wants to get far in life. Something in him snaps, and he really, really takes it to heart. In retrospect, Sungjong would say that it was his naïve mindset and heart that made him take those meaningless words and turn them into something much deeper.

Sungjong stares at his own reflection and his head to the side. He doesn’t particularly think that he has a pretty face, but- he takes those words as advice, and he takes it upon himself to make them the truth.

He wants to get as far in life as possible.

But to get far in life, he thinks, means to never be hurt, to never have someone capable of bringing you down, to never have that soulful bridge.

Lee Sungjong transfers into Mr. Seo’s class by the end of the week and avoids Lee Sungyeol for the rest of the school term.

He moves to a different school the next year.

-

Over the years, Sungjong has learned to take care of his face- if it’s pretty and will get him far in life, then why the hell not?

He remembers Lee Sungyeol as the person that has instilled this mantra in him, but doesn’t ever think of contacting him or seeing him again (even if he has played a role in shaping Sungjong’s admittedly short life).

Sungjong realizes later that Lee Sungyeol is the first bridge that he has burned with his own hands.

The second bridge he burns comes in the form of a smiling person that has decided to sit next to him on the bus.

“Hi.” someone says to him. He nods his greeting but doesn’t pay any more attention to the person sitting next to him. And just like Lee Sungyeol all those years ago, this boy is also undeterred. “My name is Jang Dongwoo.”

Sungjong quietly responds with his own greeting, only murmuring his name. And their conversation dies and Sungjong is content to leave it at that.

Dongwoo is not.

“Want a lemon candy?” Sungjong turns a little to look at the speaker and there is a blinding smile on this Jang Dongwoo’s face- it is so blinding that Sungjong is almost jealous. Dongwoo’s hand is extended and there is a piece of wrapped lemon candy, waiting for Sungjong to take it.

He smiles a little bashfully, feels his lips being pulled upwards like Dongwoo’s own smile has a gravitation pull on other lips. “Thank you.” he takes the candy quickly, almost as if a little embarrassed (because in the back of his mind, he knows that he learned never to take candy from strangers- but he think that this situation can be an exception).

There is a hearty laugh that makes everyone on the bus turn discreetly to look at the source. And now Sungjong is actually jealous- just hearing Dongwoo’s laugh makes him want to laugh too. He figures that it is a sort of super power that would be cool to have- the power to induce laugher.

Dongwoo pinches at his cheeks and Sungjong is about to swat his hand away (because not the face) but Dongwoo says something that kind of floors him. “You have a really cute smile.” Sungjong didn’t even realize that he was still smiling.

But this smiling and laughing superhero has just commented him on his smile and Sungjong is a little shell-shocked. Him? Having a cute smile? He wants to laugh at the outrageous statement, but doesn’t, just because he would be playing right into Dongwoo’s field (because, hell, now he is even more certain that the boy next to him has the power to induce laughter).

He takes the comment with a thoughtful look as he mulls over the words with lemon candy in his mouth. If he could somehow make people feel the way he feels around Dongwoo- that would be great. It would be like having his own super power (although he would have to credit Dongwoo); he would feel a little more untouchable. Kind of invincible. Because superheroes are invincible and they’re never hurt- Sungjong likes the thought of never being hurt.

So he thanks Dongwoo kindly for the candy and for being a superhero (to which the boy laughs at) and gets off at his stop.

And then he adapts, and he learns how to smile cheerfully all the time.

It’s kind of like a façade, a mask.

Lee Sungjong changes bus routes after that day and doesn’t talk to Jang Dongwoo ever again.

-

Sungong grows to love lemon candy. He even learns how to smile on command.

He also gets his first boyfriend when he is fifteen.

He dates Lee Howon for five months and Sungjong is pretty sure that he has found the most perfect guy in the whole world.

He’s nice, good looking, sweet, and dotes on Sungjong like he is the most precious thing on the planet.

He decided to give the older boy a chance, because why not? Sungjong has nothing to lose, not really. (Nope, not even his heart; he is determined to keep that with him.) He figures that if his first “relationship” has to be with anyone, it might as well be with perfect, amazing, Lee Howon.

And it’s not like Sungjong had to try really hard- Howon had a crush on Sungjong since the moment they met.

The thing that caught Lee Howon’s attention in the first place? His smile.

“You have the most beautiful smile in the world, Sungjong.” the older boy would always say. Sungjong almost laughs at the ridiculousness of the statement. He doesn’t believe that- not one bit. But whatever floats Howon’s boat, he supposes.

This relationship is kind of fun and a way to test the waters. Sungjong doesn’t know how much he feels for this Lee Howon, but it is obvious that the older boy feels more than he does.

It is especially obvious when his boyfriend says three words that kind of feel like he has just punched Sungjong in the face. “I love you.” Howon says; his voice is honest, his tone is genuine, and the way he is looking at Sungjong tells him that this is the truth. Sungjong almost wishes that Howon did punch him in the face instead.

He doesn’t return the sentiment. He can’t. Sungjong is scared out of his mind.

He breaks up with Lee Howon the next week.

It’s just another bridge burned.

-

Lee Sungjong works at a music store for a little while during the summer of his junior year; the pay is alright, the work is doable, and the atmosphere is generally very amiable.

Well, the atmosphere would be amiable if it wasn’t for his co-worker.

Kim Sunggyu, Sungjong learns, is a nag. He likes things done in a certain way and at a certain time.

And he knows when things are not done in a certain way and at a certain time.

So he likes to nag. But Sungjong takes it all with a friendly smile and a “sorry, hyung” because he doesn’t care enough to argue.

Sungjong thinks that Kim Sunggyu hates him (because he is always messing up the CD racks and whatnot), but he learns one day that Sunggyu doesn’t really hate him at all.

“Thanks,” his co-worker says to him one day. “For never complaining or anything. You’re a really nice guy.” And then Sunggyu ruffles his hair in an awkward show of affection and some candy is shoved into his surprised arms.

So he learns; he discovers how far being the “nice guy” can get him.

It’s just another mask.

He quits his job at the music store later that month. (He, in his defense, tried to quit that week. He unfortunately forgot that something called a letter of notice existed.)

-

By the time he is ready to start college, Sungjong has become the nice guy, the cute one, that person with an adorable smile.

He becomes that person because Sungjong is good at hiding. He’s also really good at running. He needs to be, since he is a master of burning bridges and never looking back. 

-

Nam Woohyun is his roommate; on the first day of his college life, he meets the aforementioned roommate. It takes him five minutes to realize that Nam Woohyun is the king of throwing hearts, the master of all things greasy- he’s a one of a kind guy. Sungjong doesn’t necessarily care for him, but they both tolerate each other.

Well, Sungjong tolerates him. Woohyun, on the other hand, makes it a goal to rile up Sungjong as much as he can whenever he can.

His reason being that someone needs to evoke some real emotion on his pretty boy face- or something like that.

But nonetheless, Sungjong does tolerate him (because he has to; he has asked for a roommate change nine times. He has been denied nine times)- even if that doesn’t stop him from thinking that Woohyun is a form of divine punishment whenever said man throws a heart at him.

-

Sungjong meets Kim Myungsoo in the first week of his second semester as a first year in college.

They’re just kind of lumped together in the back of a classroom. It is some random class he has to take to fulfill his general requirements- something easy but interesting.

He wanted a seat in the back and preferably next to the window (because he wants to be able to sleep in Sociology 313, thank you very much), but lo and behold- Kim Myungsoo is already sitting in his seat. So he improvises does the next best thing- he sits in the seat in front of the person that stole his seat.

He doesn’t bother greeting the seat stealer- there’s no need. Sungjong’s not there to make friends. There’s no reason to build more bridges when he’ll just have to burn them later. But he carefully looks over his shoulder and notes the messy “Kim Myungsoo” written in big letters on the other’s binder and wrinkles his nose in dissatisfaction. “Who taught you how to write?” he thinks.

And as he fully turns around to look at his new seatmate, he thinks that they’ll get along just fine, seeing the stoic and almost dazed look on the other’s face.

He shows no interest in Sungjong, the class, or even the world.

Sungjong thinks that’s great.

-

Sungjong thinks that their whole seating arrangement is great for the entirety of one whole week.

And then he thinks that his life (and heart) start going to hell.

e n d.

The second (and final part) will be up within the week ;3 it will have MyungJong goodness for sure~ the whole second part will be on their relationship ;3 haha. It will also be a lot longer ;o this first part was just the set up. ^^ I hope all you lovely people liked it~ (and if you didn’t, I swear that the second part will be better~)