Dear Leeteuk-hyung,

Today I was at the bookstore, when I noticed a large group of students standing around a table, all talking loudly and pointing at something that I couldn’t seem to see. Curious, I edged closer to see what was going on, though I tried not to draw too much attention to myself.

They were looking at class rings. From what I gathered of their conversation, they were debating the merits of getting class rings or complaining about the price or talking about how they couldn’t believe they were already done.

I walked away with a funny feeling that I couldn’t really put my finger on. Of course, I didn’t get one since I’m not part of that class, but it did get me thinking.

Time sure flies fast, doesn’t it hyung? It seemed like only yesterday when I was just eighteen and we were just beginning our debut and I was terrified of what was to come. And hundreds of concerts and thousands of performances in front of millions of crowds later, I still get stage fright, but we’ve all come such a long way. And then somewhere in between there, you went off to the army and the other hyungs will be leaving soon and I guess eventually, it’ll be my turn as well. We’re so busy with our day to day activities and our crammed schedules that we never notice the weeks, months, or even years passing by. You look so tired sometimes, hyung, and I’m not as cute as I used to be (kekeke). Sometimes, I want to turn back time and go back to my trainee days when I wasn’t so busy and I was still idealistic and I didn’t realize how hard life would be for us.

But then I remember that if I went back in time, we wouldn’t all be as close as we are now. At the time, I was scared to leave my family behind and venture out on my own. But what I didn’t realize was that I wouldn’t be alone and I wouldn’t be leaving my family, I’d be gaining a new one. You and the other hyungs (and Kyuhyun, too, I guess, keke) are my family now. It wasn’t a loss, but a gain.

I thought about those rings some more, wondering if I’d buy one to reminisce about the “old days” if I had the chance. I don’t think I would. I don’t think I need to. Sure, I sometimes look at our debut pictures and laugh at Heechul-hyung or Donghae-hyung’s hair and remember practicing “Twins” until we were all collapsed on the floor, exhausted but happy. Sometimes I listen to “U” on repeat and I hear Kibum and Hankyung-hyung’s voice and I start to miss them so much that I cry.

But I don’t need these mementos to think of those memories. And besides, there’s no point in looking back: what’s done is done and there are so many new things to look forward to in the future. New challenges, new songs, new performances, which will only bring us closer as brothers. And of course, one of the biggest things of all: you coming home from service.

I miss you, Teukie-hyung. Do you ever spend time thinking about the past?

Take care of yourself!

Ryeowook