"Really Dani, again?"  Lately I'd seen Nichkhun's disappointed face more times than I had in all the years I'd known him.  I felt ashamed and hurt at the same time, ashamed to have put Nichkhun through this and hurt that no one realized there was something more to my pain.  None of them did.

 Khun breathed out a sigh and wrapped his arms around me, running his fingers through my hair. "What am I supposed to do when my baby keeps trying to take herself away from me?"

A shiver ran up my spine, I could imagine Jaejoong saying the same thing in his smooth, mocking voice.  What Nichkhun would do to keep me and what Jaejoong would have in mind were two extremely different things.  Khun was never harsh, never anything but loving towards me; he was the perfect boyfriend in his own way.  Jaejoong was the most cynical being that I'd ever met- that I'd ever made- and yet, he was perfect too.  The perfect plague, a bottle of sadistic insanity packaged with the most flawless face I'd ever imagined.

"Please stop this." Nichkhun inhaled deeply, setting his chin on the top of my head. "I don't want to lose you.  I need you." 

I needed this release from life more than he could ever possibly know.  That didn't matter though, I was wrong.  I was hurting everyone around me, and myself with no positive outcome.  Attempted suicide didn't get me anywhere, and while the real deal would likely hurt my loved ones worse, something would come of it : I'd be free.

Khun slowly released me, studying my face with a sad expression that made my stomach clench. "I'm going to take a shower.... stay alive.  Please."

I watched him retreat to the bathroom in silence.  I couldn't make any promises.  My eyes trailed over the bandages on my arms, taking in the hint of blossoming scarlet on the outside of the white material.  As long as Jaejoong was around, I could find no peace. 

So many books I'd read entailed the main character leaving the nice guy for the bad boy and now with my own character , I cursed all of the stupid fictional girls for making that idotic choice.  There was no happily ever after with the bad boy, only hell.  I couldn't guarantee a happy ending with the nice guy either, but anything would be better than this.  Anything.

"Daniii~" That voice that made me cringe sang out.  Jaejoong sprawled across my couch, staring at me with an elated grin.  "It's almost over."

He propped his head up on his elbow, resting with his chin in his hand.  "It's almost broken.  Your relationship, your heart,  your mind."

It was an awful truth, a truth I didn't want.  The worst part about that was that no matter how much you hate it, no matter how much you want to run away from it, the truth is still the truth.  My mind was cracked almost to the point of insanity, my relationship was bending under the weight of Jaejoong's terror and my heart was resting in Nichkhun's hands, ready to shatter to pieces if our love fell apart.  All that was left for me to do was sit there and wait, anticipating how I would survive a life even worse than this one.

"I wonder," Jaejoong idly traced patterns on the cushion beneath him, "how will it finally happen?  Will you bend to my will all at once?  Or will I have the pleasure of pulling you apart piece by piece?  Either way is promising, and so... delightful, don't you think?  Yes.  It's coming soon, darling."

--

A.N:

Thank you subscribers, both those who originally subscribed to Once Upon A Page, and new readers as well.  Thank you for the comments too, and your patience.  I intended to update earlier this week, but I ran into some issues with school work.   The last two weeks are approaching, and then there's finals week.  I just need to get through these next few classes and bang out my final projects and essays, and I'll be golden.  I'm even passing math, yay for the end of the semester! Boo for the fact my bachelors is still so far away, and the fact my masters is even further away T.T Being an adult suuucckkss.